Brandon mused. "That's quite telling, isn't it? I am happy when I am around Nadine. She is uncomplicated and has a lovely personality and is drama free. There is a lot to be said about a drama-free life."
"So you are having an affair!" Ashley screeched.
"Keep your voice down," Brandon whispered. "No, I am not having an affair. Now go to bed."
Ashley looked at him accusingly. "You are no better than me."
Brandon laughed briefly. "I would say something mean to counteract that, but never mind. Goodnight, Ashley."
He closed the door in her face again; this time she kicked it.
*****
When Ashley came downstairs in the morning she felt woozy and sleep deprived. She had tossed and turned all night, completely aware now that she really had to fight for her marriage. She had competition for her husband from Nadine Langley.
She believed that he hadn't had an affair yet but when she heard how Brandon spoke fondly about Nadine she knew that it was time that she upped her game. She couldn't play a complacent wait-and-see game anymore. She couldn’t wait for Brandon to see sense and come back home.
She was going to have to put more of an effort in getting him back. She was going to have an uphill battle convincing him to forgive her about the incident that he saw with Regina. She was going to have to do a hundred and eighty degree turn. She had won Brandon before, and back then he had posed somewhat of a bigger challenge.
Now she knew what made him tick. She also had something that Nadine didn't have. She had his children, and Brandon loved his children. Nadine Langley might not know it but she was at war with Ashley Blake and Ashley Blake did not like losing.
She had set the alarm to wake her up at six, one hour earlier than her usual time. She forced herself to get ready though she felt sleepy and woke up the girls and got them ready. She dressed them in color-coordinated clothes and had put Ariel's hair in a nice, complicated style.
Ariel had cooperated with her for once and had even hugged her this morning. The kitchen was a scene of domestic bliss when Brandon came down the stairs.
He did a double take when he saw Ashley around the nook eating with the children.
Ashley smiled at him smugly. "I am making an effort."
"So I see." Brandon kissed the girls.
"Daddy, can we go to Nadine's studio today?" Alisha asked. "Gramps said I can come back anytime I want."
Ashley looked at Brandon sharply. "Nadine's studio? They met Gramps Langley?"
"Nadine is nice," Ariel said, clapping her hands. "I like Nadine."
Brandon grinned. "I doubt that today will be a good day to visit Nadine. She is in the final stages of preparing for her tour."
"What's a tour?" Ariel asked.
Ashley glared at Brandon. So this relationship with Nadine is more involved than I thought. He is taking our children to visit Nadine at her studio.
"Just how involved are you with Nadine, dear?" Ashley asked sweetly.
Brandon raised his eyebrow at her. "Not as involved as you are with Regina."
"Were," Ashley corrected him. "Were. Past tense. I have put Regina and the whole incident behind me. I am repentant. I wish you would forget it and move on."
Brandon sighed and ignored Ashley. He turned to Ariel. "A tour is like a trip. Nadine will go to several different places and sing."
"Cool." Alisha's eyes widened. "I wish I could do that."
"You are not responding to me," Ashley butted in. "I want us to work, Brandon. I want to be a family again."
"Please Ashley, not in front of the children." Brandon turned to the fridge. "Can't we even agree not to argue in front of the children?"
Ashley got up and stood behind him. "I don't want us to argue. I want us to be on the same page again. I want us to work."
Brandon shrugged. "That would be a minor miracle. You are not a family kind of girl, Ashley. As for being on the same page, I don't even know if we are in the same book."
*****
Brandon took the kids for their vacation leading up to Christmas Day. He had finally cleared up all the loose ends at the office and had set up a small Christmas tree in the apartment that the kids had fun decorating.
On Christmas morning they headed to his parents’ place to spend the day with his family. It was the usual fun-filled day that everybody participated in mainly because of the children.
Latoya and his mom spent the earlier part of the day in the kitchen. It was the women's turn in the kitchen. Last year the men had done the catering and it had been an exceptional spread. Latoya and his mom were trying to outdo them this year.
His father was in the basement entertaining the children with a few of his new creations. Brandon and Richard fiddled with the radio in his father's classic Aston Martin. They finally got the radio to work and sat in the car under a mango tree in the leafy shade.
They turned on the radio and leaned back in their seats. Christmas carol after Christmas carol wafted on the air.
"I heard about Ashley," Richard said.
Brandon nodded. "I know Latoya would have reported."
"How are you doing it?" Richard asked. "You are a stronger man than me, you know that? If I had caught my wife with another person, I’d be raging mad. I would probably end up in a mental institution by now. If I had caught her with another woman I'd probably be in the morgue. Along with her and the woman."
"It is what it is. It's amazing the things we can endure when life dishes it out." Brandon bopped his head to a reggae version of the Christmas carol, “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire”.
"I am doing better. Much better than when I just found out. That's Gramps Langley," he said in the middle of the song. Instantly he thought of Nadine, not that she was far from his mind. She had called him last night. She said it was cold, colder than the Blue Mountains. They had talked for a while.
"I know." Richard smiled. "Breadfruit roasting on an open fire..."
They laughed together.
Last year they had roasted breadfruit as a part of Christmas lunch.
"Seriously, though, what are you going to do?" Richard asked. "I mean, I know that Latoya told you about Kenneth, my cousin the lawyer."
"I don't know," Brandon said. "If we didn’t have the children I would divorce Ashley in a heartbeat."
"But you have the kids," Richard sighed.
"But I have the kids," Brandon repeated and was almost stunned when he saw Ashley's car drive up into the yard.
It was eleven o'clock in the morning. She hadn't visited the house for Christmas since Ariel was born, almost five years ago.
"Oh my," Richard whispered. They both watched as she got out of the car in a stylish yet simple striped dress. Even from where they sat they could see that she was not in her usual war paint. She had her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She looked young and fresh and so much like the Ashley of old that Brandon actually sat up straighter in his seat.
"She is not wearing heels." Richard whispered to Brandon.
"So I see." Brandon watched as she went into the house with several brightly wrapped packages.
Richard grasped the door handle. "Sorry Brandon, I have to go see this live and in living color. I might have to act as referee if Latoya decides to have a showdown."
Brandon scrambled out of the car too. "I am coming with you."
*****
Ashley could feel the animosity as soon as she entered the kitchen. Latoya had been chopping onions, chef style, her knife flying through the onions, and Beatrice had been stirring something in a pot. When she greeted them, they both had acted as if they saw a ghost. All action had frozen in the kitchen.
She had deliberately avoided Beatrice, her only champion in the Blake family for the past couple of weeks, since Brandon caught her cheating. Predictably, Beatrice was looking at her with disappointment.
Latoya was looking at her with something akin to hatred. The stare was so malevolent that Ashley felt so dirty and small and guilty that she had to force herself to sta
nd there while they looked at her.
What did she expect, absolution? A hearty welcome? She had hurt their son and brother.
Beatrice was the first to speak, a hurt tremor in her voice. "Ashley."
Ashley inclined her head. "Beatrice."
Latoya glared at her and continued chopping the onion with a renewed aggression that made Ashley step back involuntarily. She had no doubt that Latoya was imagining that her neck was the onion.
"I am sorry," she blurted out, "for all the stuff that I did. I am sorry for withdrawing myself from the family. I know I did wrong but I am trying by God's grace to rectify my wrongs."
"You are a two-timing whore," Latoya said snidely. "W-H-O-R-E."
"Latoya!" Beatrice snapped, looking at her daughter with eyes widened with shock.
"Somebody needs to give you a beat down," Latoya snarled. "A thorough beating. You have hung my brother out to dry for years. Years! You should take your apology and shove it."
Beatrice wiped her hand on her apron and put her hand akimbo. "Latoya Blake Cameron, that is not how we treat a person who asks us for forgiveness, and Ashley, you must admit that what you did to Brandon was devastating and you have been avoiding us for a long while.
"However, today is not the day to dwell on this. You are here now. It's the women's turn to cook Christmas dinner. The gungo peas and rice are almost finished. Latoya is doing the honey roasted chicken. You can sweeten the sorrel."
Ashley moved farther into the kitchen.
When she looked behind her she saw Brandon and Richard standing like they were expecting an explosion.
"Can we sit in?" Richard asked eagerly.
"No," Beatrice said, "it's girls’ time. You two, out!"
When the guys moved away Beatrice handed Ashley a spoon and a bowl of sugar. "You can also set the table. The stuff is in the side cupboard."
"I remember," Ashley said softly.
Latoya snorted, "It's a miracle she remembers. Why couldn't she have remembered the little word commitment or even loyalty or even heterosexuality or even..."
"Stop Latoya!" Beatrice said. "Cut her some slack."
Latoya harrumphed.
"She's here. It's Christmas. It's family time."
Latoya cut her eyes at Ashley and murmured. "Don't you come near me, you two-timing hussy. If forgiveness is what you want from this side of the kitchen, please remember that I am not a pushover like my mom or my brother, and I am not being a hypocrite and greeting you with open arms."
Ashley swallowed. "Okay then."
*****
Despite the hostility from Latoya, the rest of the family treated her with politeness. The dinner went smoothly, except for when Alisha started talking about Nadine.
"Is Nadine her new celebrity crush?" Latoya asked, grinning.
Brandon smiled. "I guess so."
"She's coming to our church to ring in the New Year," Alisha said excitedly. "I can't wait."
Ashley stiffened. "Is that so?" She looked at Brandon and raised her brow.
Brandon nodded.
"Did you all know that Brandon is seeing Nadine Langley?" Ashley asked the table in general.
Everybody looked at Brandon.
"She's a friend," Brandon shrugged, "and I like her very much."
"Good for you," Latoya said, pleased. "I am sure she is a vast improvement on the previous female in your life, who you caught cheating with her friend."
Richard started chuckling and then Leonard. Beatrice and Brandon were the only ones who were not laughing.
"We have little ears among us," Beatrice said quietly. "Latoya, you are acting as if you have never committed a sin in your life."
"She is the one who brought it up," Latoya defended. "Surely she didn't expect us to sympathize with her against Brandon, not after what she did?"
Ashley pushed her food around her plate and then finally looked up with tears in her eyes. "Yes, I am a sinner. Yes, I did wrong but I am working on righting my mistakes and mocking me will not stop me. I love Brandon and I want him back!" She sniffed and got up. "Excuse me."
"Crocodile tears," Latoya called after her. "And if you loved Brandon you wouldn't have..."
"Stop it!" Beatrice chided. "She is trying."
"I don't buy it," Latoya pointed her fork at Brandon, "and neither should you."
Brandon looked at Alisha, who had hung her head over her plate. He pointed to her and Latoya nodded.
"Okay, I'll behave myself now."
Brandon was happy when they moved on to happier topics. When Ashley returned to the table they even included her in their conversations for the kids’ sake.
He wondered if that was what he was going to have to do too—stay with Ashley for their sake.
Chapter Twelve
Ashley hung up the phone from her counselor and sat down on the settee. She had booked another day in the week for counseling. God, she needed the help.
She stared at a picture that was on the mantle in front of her: she and Brandon on board a cruise ship. She was grinning and Brandon was solemn, looking at her contemplatively. She had always liked the picture because she looked good in it. Her shape had bounced back after Alisha and she had been in a yellow string bikini that showed how good she looked, but now that she observed the picture closely, she looked like the only one having fun.
Brandon looked miserable and unhappy, like his hand was around her but he wasn't really there. Like he wished he was somewhere else. It was a far cry from that picture that he had taken with Nadine on the Blue Mountains that was for sure. She hated that dratted picture but the image of Brandon smiling and relaxed was stuck in her head and she couldn't shake it.
The cruise had been a second honeymoon—the second year of their marriage, after her affair with Carlos and the birth of Alisha. She had wanted a fresh start and Brandon had, as always, been willing to try and make things work. They had fought for months before that. Simple things, like who closed the front door or who turned on the light in the kitchen and left it on.
She closed her eyes in defeat. He wasn't willing to try anything now. He was as aloof and cold as she had ever seen him. After the hazardous Christmas dinner with the Blake family that she had psyched herself for, ate humble pie and attended, Brandon didn't even seem impressed that she had made an effort. He had shunned her for the week that followed.
He had taken the kids, and he was away with his sister and her husband, enjoying the holiday, light-hearted and free. The last time she called him they had gone fishing. They were having some grand adventure as a family without her. She was never involved and never wanted to be, but now that she was on the outs with Brandon she desperately wanted to be included in their family fun.
She realized that as far as the children's affections went, she would be second best to Brandon. To make the effort now would invite more ridicule; besides, she didn't want to be anywhere near Latoya. The woman actively detested her.
The thought made her feel lonelier than ever. She had never felt so out of it before. Usually she had something to occupy her thoughts. If it wasn't an affair, it was business and now with nothing but the clock ticking away and the new year approaching she felt a loneliness so severe, she was even tempted to call Regina.
Regina, who she had cut out of her life like a cankerous sore. Regina had laughed with confidence and told her that she would need her again.
She tightened her hands against the satiny cushion and a few tears slipped down her cheeks. The counselor had told her in the last session that she shouldn't wallow in self-pity, that everybody made mistakes, and all she needed to do was pick herself up and do better again.
It was easier said than done. She had never really been the humble type; she was always scheming, always trying to win.
When she realized early in her marriage that she wouldn't be able to keep up her perfect wife façade, she had given up and had an affair; when she had realized early in motherhood that the baby seemed more bonded to Brandon, she had giv
en up and let him just handle everything. When she had realized early in her Christian walk that she could not keep up with the seemingly dedicated Christian folk, she had also given up.
Ashley Blake was not a fighter. She loved competition but only if she was sure of a win, and that was why she was in the half dark on New Year’s Eve, friendless, husbandless and family-less. She had given up.
Her therapist said she had a personality disorder and that it wasn't impossible to fix it, but right now, under the pressing weight of all that she had done, she didn't know if she could ever be fixed and even if she could, she would not have Brandon again; she had lost.
Just then the clock struck five-thirty and she remembered that there was a program at the church and Nadine was going to be there to see Alisha sing. She realized that the fight was not over. She would make one last effort to get back her husband. At least then she would have another chance to put everything right again.
*****
"Happy New Year!" Nadine grinned when Brandon opened the door of the apartment. He was already dressed in formal attire.
"Hey." Brandon hugged her to him tightly. "How are you?"
"Fine. A little jetlagged. I got in late last night." Nadine inhaled him, relaxing in the hug.
She reluctantly pulled away. In his arms felt so much like home. She had missed him like crazy for the two weeks and hadn't quite managed to forget him, despite her resolve to do so.
In fact, the opposite had happened: she thought about him every day. She was half afraid that when she got back he and his wife would be back together.
And now she felt guilty for being happy to see that he was still at the apartment and Ashley still out of the picture.
"I slept all day," she smiled at him, taking in his familiar handsome features, "but I remembered that Alisha had her thing today, so here I am."
"Yes," Brandon pulled her inside, "she is getting ready. How was the tour?"
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