by Gina Sorelle
As Kat’s eyes welled and spilled over, her body reverting back to the uncontrollable shaking, Danny’s mouth pulled into the smallest of sad smiles. “I guess you really do win, huh? You lied to me, used me, and dumped me and, yet, I still love you with everything I have.”
Danny exhaled a soft scoff, grabbing at the back of his neck. “You’re getting an up-close view of the real me, now, Kat – weak, desperate, and needy to the very end.” He shrugged. “I’d be embarrassed, but I’m pretty sure you already knew it, anyway. Hell, it’s probably one of the many reasons you couldn’t love me back.”
A thousand words she was dying to say lodged in her throat, Kat watched him walk over to a cupboard, open it, and take out a small silver bag.
“I was going to give this to you today. For Christmas,” Danny said, reaching his fingers into the bag and pulling out a little black box that stopped Kat’s heart. He set the bag on the counter and looked down at the box in his hand. “I was gonna ask Stella to help me, but then I decided to do it by myself. Figured it might mean more that way.” Danny handed her the box, which Kat very reluctantly took. “When I told the saleslady what you did for a living, she said a band style would be best because the other ones would’ve gotten caught on your work gloves.” He shrugged. “Didn’t matter, anyway. Once I saw this, I knew it was the perfect one for you.”
When Kat just stood there, box in shaking hand, tears streaming down her cheeks and splashing onto his tile floor, Danny gestured to the box. “Might as well look at it. It’s yours now.”
Feeling like a nine hundred pound weight was pressing against her chest, Kat slowly opening the jewelry box lid and gasped, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.
It was a beautiful platinum band with three rows of round diamonds spanning the entire thing. The top and bottom diamonds were the same size, with slightly bigger diamonds in the middle row.
It was beautiful. It was simple.
It is exactly what I would have picked.
“I liked the three rows. I figured top one for you, bottom one for me, and the middle, bigger one for us.” As Kat continued to stare at it, Danny exhaled a hard laugh. “Not that it matters, but do you like it?”
She glanced up at him, dumbstruck. “Danny, I can’t keep this.”
His tight smiled faded. “Well, it’s not returnable and I don’t want the fucking thing, so you might as well keep it. Or pawn it.” A pained expression crossed his face. “It’s engraved, so you probably can’t re-use it…well, maybe you can, who the fuck knows what these jewelry stores can do, right?”
Kat couldn’t look at the engraving. Not now. Not with him standing there.
So she slowly closed the lid and stared at the box.
Danny cleared his throat again, arms crossing over his chest. “Just so you know, I did go to your father’s house to ask his permission.”
Kat’s breath caught and she held it.
Danny lifted a shoulder as his lips tugging into a tiny, sardonic smile. “He raked me over the coals pretty good, but I eventually got his blessing. Pops promised to keep it between us, so I’m pretty sure your sisters don’t know, but it might not stay that way for long now. I thought you might want to know so you can prepare yourself for some uncomfortable questions.”
When Kat didn’t respond because there was absolutely nothing to say to such a beautiful, touching admission, Danny nodded slowly.
He dropped his arms and began backing up. “Well, I should probably finish getting ready for work. Just let yourself out when you’re ready.” He walked over to the base of the staircase, before turning back to face her. “Take the ring, Kat. I bought it for you, it’s yours. Seeing it laying around here is only going to hurt me, so I’d really appreciate it if you could take it off my hands, okay?”
Their eyes held for a few long moments before Kat slowly nodded.
He nodded, too. “Okay. Great. Thanks.” Danny paused before adding, “Take care of yourself, Kat.”
Without waiting for a reply, he turned and trudged up the stairs, leaving Kat alone – engagement ring in hand – tears once again streaming down her cheeks and a whole lot of painful regrets and wishful thinking bouncing around in her head.
She sat down in a kitchen chair and pried the lid of the box open again. Kat pulled the ring from the holder and held it up. Hands shaking like leaves, she slipped it onto the ring finger of her left hand, breath catching at how beautiful it looked and how wonderful it felt.
Remembering the engraving, Kat slipped the ring back off and lifted it to her eyes…
And what she saw made her very glad she was already sitting:
In very small print, it read: “D & K, Together We Make A Family.”
Her body wracked with silent sobs, Kat slowly slipped the ring back into the box and shut the lid. She pushed herself out of the chair, grabbed her purse off the kitchen table, and dug out her key ring.
She set the ring box, ring inside, on the corner of Danny’s kitchen counter. Because, as selfish as it made her, she couldn’t bear to have it laying around, either. In fact, if she never saw it again, it would be too soon.
On top of the ring box she laid the key she’d just pried off her key ring.
The key he’d given her.
The one given as a gift. Given as an invitation into his home, into his life, into his heart.
An invitation to be his partner and lover and wife…
An honor she didn’t deserve and a duty she could never fulfill.
Kat picked her coat up off the floor and slipped it on, grabbed her purse, and headed to the front door. With one last look around – mourning all of the memories they’d made together and all the ones they’d never get to make together – Kat finally opened the front door, stepped through it, and closed it quietly behind her.
She sobbed the entire ride home. Nasal passages inflamed and congested and her throat and chest aching, Kat finally pulled into a front parking spot near her apartment. She turned off the car and twisted to force her legs out…and spotted a familiar black Denali parked two spots away.
“No. Please,” she breathed out.
Kat squinted into the interior, trying to determine if it was indeed the vehicle she already knew in her bones it was. She spotted the silver police officer guardian angel visor clip Stella made Nathan keep with him at all times and exhaled a long sigh.
“Shit, shit, shit…”
All Kat wanted to do was crawl into bed, pull the covers over her head, and lie there. Alone. In the dark. In the quiet. Maybe even sleep the rest of the day, night, and early morning away, until she absolutely had to get up and deal with the world tomorrow at work.
But now they were here.
And that meant Kat would be expected to hash and rehash her earlier behavior. And get into details about what had happened between Danny and her. And discuss – ad nauseum – her feelings, Danny’s feelings, Their feelings, and how things should be “fixed.”
All stuff Kat could barely stomach in a stable, healthy mental state, but in this state? It just wasn’t going to be possible. It wasn’t even that she wouldn’t…she simply couldn’t. Not physically and definitely not emotionally. Not now, when everything that had happened was so fresh and her nerves were so raw. Not now, when she hadn’t even had time to internally process her own feelings about everything, let alone come up with a way to explain them to anyone else.
With a huge sigh and a quick prayer sent up to Saint Monica for patience, Kat braced one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the door frame and pushed herself to her feet. She hip-bumped the car door shut and took her sweet time shuffling to the apartment door…one, to make sure she didn’t trip again and, two, to buy herself a few additional seconds of peace before the showdown began. Kat didn’t even bother checking to see if the door was locked, already knowing it wouldn’t be. She turned the knob, opened the door, and was greeted with precisely the scene she’d been expecting and dreading with every remaining, frayed fiber of her be
ing:
Gigi, Nina, Stella, and Fi sitting in the living room and poor Nathan standing in the corner, arms crossed over his chest. The man looked like he’d rather be anywhere but here.
Well, that makes two of us.
He shot Kat an apologetic look and she managed a quick nod and tiny half-smile in return before the sisters pounced.
Gigi rushed over, brows low. “Kat, honey, where were you?” She grabbed Kat’s upper arms and pulled her into a tight hug, effectively smashing Kat’s face against her double Ds. “We were getting so worried, cara. You weren’t answering your phone and the roads are slippery and…”
Kat tuned Gigi out, squeezed her eyes shut, and breathed deeply.
Keep it together. Don’t lose your shit. Just…hold everything in…let them fawn and blather for a few minutes and then they’ll leave you in peace. Just hold on…
Gigi released her vice grip on Kat’s upper body and pulled back, eyes full of concern. She tucked a wayward piece of hair behind Kat’s ear and caressed the side of her face, “Oh, Kat, you look so tired. Come sit down. So you can rest. And so we can talk to you for a few minutes.” Gigi grabbed Kat’s hand and tugged her toward the couch.
Just a few more minutes and then you can be alone. Just listen to what they have to say, manage to give them some kind of answer, and then they’ll go away.
Kat allowed Gigi to guide her to the armchair adjacent to the couch, where she sank down and folded her hands tight in her lap. Kat eyed her other three sisters warily, not at all surprised by what she saw:
Stella looking confused and distraught and damn near squirming to get into it.
Nina looking pissed and agitated, nervous energy rolling off of her.
And Fi, looking concerned and a little…guilty?
Kat didn’t have to wonder why for long.
“Kat, I am so sorry I didn’t pick up on what was going on sooner,” Fi said, reaching over to grab Kat’s knee and giving it a light squeeze. “I should have known all that crying wasn’t about the flare-up. I should have…I don’t know…known something major was going on. Especially the second I realized things had slowed down with Danny.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I am just so sorry I wasn’t there for you, honey.”
Before Kat could respond, Stella asked, “Kat, why didn’t you tell me what was going on? I could have helped you, cara. I’m sure I could have done something…helped you in some way…” Stella shook her head and waved off her own words. “Never mind. Doesn’t matter. What’s done is done. Now let’s hear what happened so we can figure out how to fix this.”
“Fix it?” Nina shot Stella a pointed look and scoffed. “Fuck that. I wanna hear what happened so I know how much ass to beat!” She turned back to Kat and leaned in, forearms on her knees. “Just tell me what that fucker did, Kat. And I mean, I need to know everything. Because what you tell me is going to determine the damage I do to that asshole for hurting you.”
“Nina, stop. She already told us Danny didn’t do anything wrong,” Gigi said.
“Yeah. Right. Because it makes total sense that Kat looks like this…” Nina gestured to Kat. “And that she’s been crying her fucking eyes out – which she never does – but Danny did nothing wrong.” She scoffed. “What do you think happened, G? They had a little tiff about Danny forgetting to throw his damn boxers down the chute and that sent Kat over the fucking edge?”
Kat tightened her clasped hands harder and tried to keep her breathing even, despite feeling several different emotions rapidly bubbling up inside.
I can’t do this right now. I can’t listen to this today. I feel like I’m going out of my mind. I need to be alone. I need to get away. I need quiet. I need to be by myself. I cannot handle this for very much longer.
“The more I think about it, the more I’m sure no one is at fault,” Stella declared to the room at large. “Danny is a wonderful man and everyone could see how crazy he was about you, Kat. Hell, he flat-out told Nathan how crazy he was about you.” She shot Nathan a glance over her shoulder. “Right, baby? Danny told you he was in love with Kat, right?” When Nathan shot her a disapproving look, Stella scrunched up her face at him and turned back to Kat, a smile tugging at her lips. “Well, he did. And I know how crazy you are about him. So I’m sure whatever is going on with you guys is temporary. I’m sure it was a misunderstanding or just relationship growing pains, right? We all go through that kind of stuff. Because you guys are obviously in love with each other – we could all see that. And, if that’s true, then anything else can be worked out.”
A light sweat broke out above Kat’s lip and her muscles began to vibrate. Her head throbbed, her heart ached, and all she could think about was making it into her bedroom and locking the door behind her.
Must get away.
Cannot process any more.
Need quiet.
Need to be alone.
Cannot think about this right now.
“I can’t do this,” Kat said quietly.
Fi’s brows dropped. “Do what, Kat?”
“I just…” Kat unlocked her hands, braced them on the arms of the chair, and pushed herself up. “I just can’t. I’m sorry. I need to go lie down.”
When Kat went to turn away, Nina grabbed her arm. “Wait, wait, wait…where are you going?”
“I told you. I need to lie down,” Kat said.
Nina reared back. “Right this minute?”
“Yes. Right this minute,” Kat replied evenly.
“Well, let’s talk for a little while first, honey,” Gigi said. “We all want you to feel better and I think you’ll feel better if you talk some stuff out.”
Kat inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. “No. I’ll feel better if I can be alone right now. Maybe we can talk later, but right now I can’t do this.”
“Do what? Talk to us?” Stella asked.
“Yes, talk to you. I’ve had a long day. I’m tired. And I’m not in the appropriate mental state to answer any questions or deal with any conjectures. I need to go to bed. Now.”
“Alright, let’s go,” Nathan said, dropping his arms and pushing off the wall. “Like I told you guys at Pops’, this was not a good idea. Let’s give Kat some time and space to deal with everything. If she feels like talking later, she’ll let you know. But crowding her like this isn’t fair or doing anybody any good.”
Kat shot Nathan a grateful look.
Unfortunately, none of them listened to a damn word he said.
“Uh, we’re not leaving until we get some answers,” Nina snapped.
“It’s not healthy to keep it all inside, cara. Talk to us…we just want to help,” Gigi said.
“Yeah, we all love you, Kat. And we just want to make you feel better,” Fi said.
“Nothing can get resolved unless you express your feelings and tell us what happened, Kat,” Stella said.
And then all four of them starting talking at once, over each other, sending Kat straight to the edge.
She gripped the back of the chair for support and gritted out, “Please, stop,” but nobody listened. The four of them continued to talk – to each other, to Kat, to the room at large, and apparently just to hear themselves talk. “I really need you guys to leave,” Kat said a little louder, but, still, nobody heeded her words.
Well, nobody other than Nathan.
He walked over to the Ciaramitaro gaggle and – in his deep, firm voice – said, “Enough.”
But they steamrolled right over him, too, continuing to bombard Kat with questions she didn’t know how to answer and probably wouldn’t have answered even if she had known how. They pushed and they prodded, until Kat felt the grasp on her self-control loosen further.
“I said, enough,” Nathan repeated, much louder this time, finally managing to attract their attention.
And their ire.
Nina bristled. “You don’t tell us ‘enough’ when it comes to our sister, Nathan!”
“Nathan, I understand he’s your best friend, but we need to get
to the bottom of this,” Gigi said.
“You can stop trying to protect him, Nathan,” Fi said. “Because there is no way he didn’t do something to screw this up!”
“Just like I always tell you, Nathan, keeping stuff inside is not healthy!” Stella pointed at Kat. “She needs to learn how to stop stuffing and let people help her!”
“What you’re doing isn’t helping her, Stella,” Nathan shot back. “You’re suffocating her and making this situation ten times harder on her.” He eyed all of them, head shaking. “I’ve been listening to her ask you all very politely – much more politely than I would have, by the way – to give her some space. But, as usual, you guys don’t know when to take a hint. Or how to give someone room to breathe. So, now I’m going to take charge of this situation.” Hands on his hips, Nathan tilted his head toward the door. “Everybody say good-bye, give her a hug if you insist, and then grab your coats because we’re leaving.” When they just stood there, gaping, Nathan quirked a brow. “Move. Now.”
After a brief, stunned silence, all four women – including a surprisingly riled up Gigi – jumped up and into his face like a pack of ravenous hyenas. There were fingers pointing, heads bobbing, and Kat thought she might have heard a couple “Aw, hell, nos” and “who the hell do you think you ares” coming from a few different mouths at a few different times.
The cacophony of their voices, steadily increasing in pitch and volume, spiked Kat’s anxiety, sparked her anger, and gave her that one last push she needed to finally plummet right off the edge.
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” she screamed, suddenly engulfed in a blind rage that wiped every thought process out of her mind. “Goddamn it, just go! Leave me the fuck alone! Just…get…out!”
Kat picked up the nearest thing to her – a big, jarred Christmas Cookie Yankee candle – and threw it as hard as she could across the room. It struck the opposite wall with a satisfying thud, the glass shattering and the whole mess of it falling to the carpet with a muffled thump.
She looked around at all of them, eyes narrowed, and seethed – the adrenaline coursing through her body probably the only thing keeping her upright. “I tried to ask you nicely! I tried to be patient! But the four of you will just not let up! You never let up! And you just don’t get it! For once in our goddamned lives, this is not about what you want! And just this one time it’s not about what you need!” Kat jammed her finger into her chest. “It’s about what I want and what I need! And what I want and need is for the four of you to get out of my face! Back off! Stop suffocating me! I don’t want to talk about it and I may never want to talk about it! It’s none of your business what happened with Danny! If I had wanted you to know or wanted your advice, I would have asked for it! But I didn’t! Because I don’t! And you’re just going to have to find a way to live with that! Now, leave…me…alone!”