Esme cringed and realized he was right.
Well, shit. I didn’t expect this when we came home. If the paranormals rebel or start a civil war…
She turned back to Hakim. “How bad is this?”
“Hard to say. Joe and Piper first reported what they’d heard a few weeks ago. I’ve tried talking to the jinn about their concerns, but they don’t exactly respect me.” Hakim squirmed in his seat. “I’ve talked to other local paranormals to gauge their feelings, but there are hundreds of thousands of paranormals in the Order. It’s impossible to know how deep these rumblings go.”
Lexi nodded. “My men have arrested a few drunken werewolves in the past few days. We had to taser one of the more defiant pricks yesterday.”
“It’s the full moon this weekend,” said Esme as she remembered. “That could account for a lot of their behavior.”
“True.”
Owen frowned at his replacement police chief. “Everything at the station under control?”
“Yes, sir.” Lexi smirked at him. “You’re not getting your job back.”
Esme smiled, knowing Lexi’s dedication to her work.
Hakim crossed his arms. “Our city needs its king. If you could stay and stabilize paranormal relations, that would do a lot.”
“I’ll do what I can.” Owen took his last bite and chewed in thought. “But even if I can’t get the paranormals to settle down, I’ll have to go with Esme and our team to Europe. Fighting the malevolenci is my more important job. Hell, that’s why I put Lexi in charge at the station.”
Lexi gave him a smile of appreciation.
Hakim frowned. “If the Order falls apart while you’re away, there won’t be much left to save.”
“If the malevolenci win,” Owen countered, “there won’t be anything to save at all.”
The jinn glanced at Esme.
Owen’s right. He has to go with me. If I try to fight the malevolenci alone, I’m that much more vulnerable.
Hakim sighed and looked back at Owen. “You’re the king, so the choice of how to handle this is obviously yours. Lexi is kicking ass on the law side of things.” He gave her a quick smile. “But the absence of the Order’s highest authority is hurting us. If you leave to fight the malevolenci again, we have to set someone up to speak for you.”
Owen nodded in understanding. “And you aren’t enough because even your own jinn call you a mixed blood.”
Hakim frowned again and didn’t need to answer.
The king leaned forward on his elbows and rubbed his face. “What about someone with my royal blood?”
Lexi looked horrified. “You mean Jonas?”
Esme remembered Jonas Lord, Owen’s cousin and current heir to the throne. She’d only seen the young man once, at Owen’s rooftop retirement party. Her main memory of Jonas was how he’d sounded like a frat boy and tried to hit on Lexi.
Owen laughed. “No, not Jonas. I mean my mother.”
This surprised Esme. She’d never met Mirth Lord, but she’d heard that the queen mother was a well-educated woman and a force not to be opposed. Honestly, the idea of meeting Mrs. Lord left Esme feeling inadequate and intimidated.
Hakim raised an eyebrow. “I thought your mom wanted to stay out of politics.”
“She does, but if we explain the situation, I think she’ll help.”
Lexi was nodding. “Mirth always had good relations with the paranormals during your father’s reign, so she might be just the person we need.”
Hakim nodded, though still clearly unhappy with Owen’s decision to leave.
He has a point. The Order needs Owen at the helm. But Owen’s right too – if we can’t stop the malevolenci, we’re all screwed.
“Okay.” Owen looked relieved to have a plan. “I’ll call my mom, but her plane doesn’t get in until tomorrow tonight.” He rolled his eyes with fake drama. “I guess greeting her only son when he came home wasn’t important enough to cut her vacation a day short.”
Hakim laughed. “Mirth wasn’t exactly on vacation. She’s been in Italy on and off for a year getting things arranged for the new Order Museum.”
Museum, thought Esme, allowing herself the distraction. Mrs. Lord’s a lifelong student of Order history. She might be able to help my investigations.
Seeing that everyone was finished, Esme scooted back her chair and started gathering empty plates. She hadn’t meant this to be a hint, but Hakim took it for one and rose from the table, followed by Owen and Lexi.
“Thanks for lunch,” said Hakim. “That was delicious.”
“My pleasure.” Esme set the dishes on the counter. “You don’t have to go.”
Hakim looked at his phone. “Sorry, but I’ve got a slew of reports to review. Much work to be done before your team ships off to Europe.”
Esme tried to stifle her excitement. She’d never been to Europe – on her world or this one – but it wasn’t like she’d have a lot of time to sightsee.
Owen stood with Hakim. “I’d better go too. I’ll meet up with Joe to discuss what he’s heard from the paranormals. Piper too, if she’s free.”
Lexi gathered their glasses. “Well, I can stay to help, Esme.” She walked by the men and rolled her eyes. “Of course you guys bail for the cleanup.”
Hakim and Owen looked at each other, shrugged in unison, and waved to Esme before heading toward the exit. Bethy scurried after them in hopes of getting outside.
Owen’s voice carried back down the hall. “Bye, Bethy Maude the Demon Dog.”
Esme turned to Lexi with a chuckle and started cleaning her kitchen. “Thanks for offering to help, but if you have work to do too, I understand.”
Lexi opened the dishwasher to load the glasses. “Nah, I’ve got time. I know it’s a girly thing to say, but I’ve missed you.”
In surprise, Esme looked away from her sink. “Should we get BFF necklaces now?”
Lexi laughed. “Oh, come on. You wanted to throw this lunch so we could act like normal people. I’m trying to be a normal person.”
“That’s what’s so weird.”
“Would you rather discuss demons and the human rights of vampires? Does that seem more normal?”
“Touché. So, normal friend, what should we talk about?”
“Well, we’re two feminists left to clean the kitchen after feeding men lunch, so…” Lexi pretended to think. “Boys?”
Esme laughed. “Okay. So how’s your love life?”
“Not too shabby. The Master Cavali and I have gotten kind of serious.”
“Really? I thought Loukas was traveling a lot and you’d called it off.”
“No, I decided to grow up a bit. He’s a great guy. Any time with Loukas is better than none at all, so we’ll make it work.”
“That’s great.” Esme squeezed excess water from her sponge and turned to wipe down her kitchen island.
Lexi finished with the dishwasher and leaned on the counter across from Esme. “Enough on me. What about you and our underwear model monarch?”
Esme had to grin at Lexi’s use of her favorite nickname for Owen. “There’s nothing to tell. We agreed to be partners as king and alterni only, not as–”
“Oh, please. I heard you two were going at it hot and heavy in San Francisco. Dax told me all about it – he was in the hotel room next door.”
A bit horrified, Esme blushed. “Oh, gods…”
“So, spill.”
Esme sighed. Lexi was her best friend. Neither of them had had many close female friends, and they were equally bad at it, though for different reasons. Lexi had no boundaries whatsoever, and Esme wasn’t used to being so open and honest about personal matters.
She shook her head. “We aren’t together, Lexi. We had…relapses, but we agreed to stop. Things are far too serious right now, and the distractions of a relationship… It isn’t safe.”
Lexi frowned but seemed to understand. She pulled her blond ponytail over a shoulder. “The malevolenci suck, yes. Owen’s haunted by losing so
many alt-Esmes before you and that must make things weird, yes. And I know you’re doing everything you can to keep yourself alive. But you can’t be afraid of living, Esme. You and Owen make each other better. Deny it all you want, but you belong together.”
Esme for the hundredth time hated herself for not being able to explain the full scope of things to her friend.
If Lexi knew how important it is for me to stay alive… But she’s right too. Owen and I make each other better. I healed a lot of his past guilt and regrets about my alterni. He healed a lot of my past trust issues.
Lexi’s eyes drifted to the top of Esme’s head. “By the way, what’s up with your roots?”
Esme laughed. She ran the tips of her fingers through the silver-gray locks hanging against her face, careful not to get hair stuck in her castorca’s chains. “I got sick of dyeing it once we were on the road. I think I’ll grow out my natural brown.”
Lexi smiled knowingly. “Don’t need to look unique anymore now that you’ve proven you’re not like your preceding alterni?”
“Yeah.” Esme smiled.
Her friend looked around the cleaned kitchen and stepped back from the counter. “Well, I guess I’ll get going. Try to relax while you’re home, okay? Play with Bethy.” She smiled. “I grew to love the little mutt, but she’s missed you.”
“Thanks. Call me if you want to go for a drink later.”
“Will do.” Lexi headed for the hall and waved without looking back.
Alone in her kitchen, Esme looked around at her home. A home empty, but for a dog. A home filled with very few memories. A home she was bound to leave again once her world-saving job pulled her back on the road.
This life ends one of two ways. Way one, I die horribly in battle. Way two, I find a way to hold back the malevolenci until Owen and I die of old age and a new king summons new alterni.
Esme scowled.
But is there a way to end this cycle? Seventy-nine generations of kings and alterni have fought this war before us. They were heroes. If Owen and I can hold back the malevolenci, we’ll be heroes too. But then more kings and more alterni will have to fight after us. The cycle will continue over and over.
She thought on the discussions she’d had with paranormals during her travels.
The malevolenci are this unbeatable, unknowable enemy, but what if I can find out some huge secret about them from the paranormals? I will find a way to win this war.
Even with this determination driving Esme for months, she felt so alone.
Until I have answers, I’m keeping this hope to myself. Roman would scoff at me. Ada would be supportive but not believe it’s possible. I think Owen would encourage me and keep his doubts to himself. This war’s been going on for eighty generations, and they don’t think it’ll ever end. But damn it, I’m going to try. I’m an alterni endi. I have more power than all but six other people in the history of the Order. Two of them survived, so I can too. And I’ll take this a step farther – I’m going to win.
With a courage-summoning breath, Esme turned to enter her living room. She’d made a digital copy of the Chronicle of Alterni Endi and saved it to her tablet. Roman hadn’t been happy about that but agreed it was better than her taking the physical book from the library. If she wanted to defeat the malevolenci, the first step was to figure out how to wield this magic few others had possessed.
Owen’s meeting with Joe had proven very informative. He’d also met up with Piper at a local fairy coffee shop – fairy coffee was amazing, though he dared not ask what potions they spiked it with – and learned news from her side of the world. Everything he’d heard was cause for concern. But once Owen returned to his penthouse and tried to relax, the comfort of being home allowed his mind to wander. Despite his attempts to focus on the more important issue of his kingdom’s stability, he thought more and more about Esme.
I understand her points, he admitted to himself as he drove through the mid-afternoon sun. I really do. But I keep coming back to thinking none of our logical arguments matter. And I don’t think they matter to Esme either, not deep down. We want to be together. Damn it, aren’t we allowed to be happy? This isn’t just a sex thing. I’ve never felt this connected to another human being…not even her origini. That’s all in the past now. I love this Esme. There’s no way that being together could be more of a distraction than the constant ache of being apart.
Owen pulled his car to the curb, turned off the ignition, and wiped a hand down his face. “I sound like a melodramatic fairy.”
He sat and looked out the window at Esme’s house for a second, debating if this was a good idea. The afternoon sun reflected off her living room windows, but he thought he saw Esme walking around inside.
He rolled his eyes at his behavior. “And now I’m a stalker.”
Forcing himself, he got out and walked across Esme’s short yard to her door. With a quick knock, he stood on her stoop and waited. He was more nervous than he’d been in years.
You’re the king of the world. You fight demonic monsters. Get a grip. Esme’s just a woman… A stubborn, gorgeous, brave, powerful–
The door opened, and there she stood. Esme had changed from her casual clothes to a colorful kimono tied at her waist. The kimono hung to her mid-thigh, and Owen saw the lacy ruffle of her nightgown underneath.
Cat balls, this is torture. Eyes up, man!
Esme looked at him in surprise and held the door without saying a word.
“This isn’t a booty call,” were the first words out of Owen’s mouth, and he mentally kicked himself. “I mean, can I come in and talk?”
Esme noticeably swallowed but stepped back to allow him entry. Still, she said nothing.
Owen entered the hall and smiled as Bethy came running to greet him. He only gave the dog a quick pat on the head, then faced his alterni. He again marveled at how beautiful she was, even with her brown roots giving her silver hair a kind of dark halo.
“Sorry. You probably want to sleep as much as possible while you can, but I have things I need to say. You’ve made yourself perfectly clear about how you think we should interact, but…”
Esme crossed her arms over her kimono and looked unsure what to say.
Get on with it.
Owen blew out his lips. “This agreement we have, it’s stupid. Staying apart is driving me crazy. I think about you all the time. You honestly believe keeping our distance from each other is less distracting?”
She frowned and looked at her bare toes. “I know. It’s driving me crazy too.”
He felt a huge relief at this. “So what’s holding you back?”
Esme rubbed her forehead, her castorca catching the light. “Owen, the fate of all known existence is in our hands. Isn’t our personal happiness far less important?”
“No.” He didn’t even hesitate. “Being a couple would make us stronger, more united, more determined to fight for everything we have. You make me… I’ve had eight alterni before you, and this partnership is exactly what I’ve needed my whole life. You are who I’ve needed my whole life. It’s not selfish or narrow-minded to want to be happy. It’s important that we’re whole and healthy as people, right? That’s what the royal shrink always tells me.”
Esme tried not to grin.
Owen sighed. “We need to be at our best to do this job. And together, we’re at our best. You know that.”
Esme looked like she was wavering but still needed to be convinced.
Owen fought the urge to reach for her. “I’m not delusional, Esme. The cold hard fact of our lives is that we’re likely to die sooner rather than later. I know you’re being careful, but it could happen. And I could die too. –Although, yes, I promised not to sacrifice myself to save you – it’d do little good since you vowed you’d stay here and fight with the next king anyway.” He rolled his eyes, still not happy about her decision.
Esme gave him a small grin.
“But it could happen,” he finished. “I’m likely to die. You’re likely t
o die. And whether we’re together or not, I’d have to kill myself if you die first. Our relationship status doesn’t make a difference where the Oath of Kings is concerned.”
She made a face at him. “That’s romantic. I liked it better when you left it at ‘you die, I die.’”
He grinned, seeing in her expression that she understood his point. “We know this job of saving the world is dangerous. We’ve both accepted that. But I intend to enjoy my life in the meantime. And I know more deeply than I’ve ever known anything that you make me happy. I was miserable for years, and if I only have a short time left, I refuse to be miserable anymore.”
“So ‘eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die’ is your best outlook moving forward?” Esme shook her head at him. “No, Owen. I intend to live, thank you very much. And I’m going to do everything in my magical powers to make sure you live too.”
Owen smiled.
I like the sound of that.
Esme let out a breath and stepped forward to put a hand on his chest and look up at him with her brilliant purple eyes. “I know you’ve lost people. I know the Order thinks this war is never going to end. But I’ll find a way to stop the malevolenci. We’re going to live.” She wavered. “I wasn’t planning on telling you my hopes about winning the war, but I need you with me on this. We’re partners. If anyone can defeat the malevolenci, I think we can – you and me, together.”
Owen blinked down at her in realization.
She wants to end the war forever. Is that foolish optimism? Or have the rest of us been in this war so long we’ve given up hope? At the most, I’ve been hoping and praying Esme and I can hold back the malevolenci until the next king’s reign. But could we end this war? Esme is an alterni endi, with more power than anyone living’s ever seen…
Sensing it was the right time, Owen put his arms around the woman and pulled her into a hug. He rested his chin on her head. “Okay, then. We live.”
“I mean it, Owen. I agree we’re stronger together. But I won’t be with you if you’re expecting us to die.” She snorted a laugh into his chest. “What’s the danger in getting our hopes up? If I do die, it’s not like you’ll live long to mourn me. Then we’ll both be out of our misery.”
Malevolenci Page 4