by Donna Grant
He paused, content to watch her without her notice. She looked miserable and exhausted. She looked lonely.
Hayden no longer concerned himself with the feelings that always arose when he saw Isla or thought of her. There was nothing he could do to stop them. He could try to act against them, but stopping them had proved futile.
She turned then and spotted him. “I’m not in the mood, Hayden. Please go away.”
He ignored her and jumped through the window. He landed softly. “What did you ask of the MacLeods?”
Isla rolled her eyes and began to unbraid her hair. “That’s none of your concern. Please leave.”
“Not until you tell me what I want to know.”
“You’ll be waiting a long time then.”
Irritation filled him. He’d asked a simple question. Why couldn’t she answer it? “You want them to kill you, don’t you?”
She lifted a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “What difference does it make?”
“It makes a difference.”
Her gaze jerked to his, and she narrowed her eyes. “Is that so? It seems that I remember quite plainly how you said you couldn’t stand to be near me. In front of everyone in the hall. What I do with my life is no concern of yours.”
“Just tell me. Please.” He hated to beg, but the need to know exactly what she had asked of the MacLeods drove him.
“Oh,” she stormed and threw up her hands. “Fine, Hayden. Aye, I did make the MacLeods vow to take my head.”
“Why?”
“Would you rather be the one to kill me? I’m sure they won’t mind if you step in for them. You’ll know when Deirdre has control of me, so don’t hesitate to do your duty.”
“Stop!” he bellowed. He stared at her, his jaw clenched tight as he fought the fury inside him, fury at her for turning to the MacLeods. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. Now tell me why, Isla.”
She blew out a breath and glared at him. “Because I don’t want to live like this anymore. When Deirdre does find me, my death needs to be quick before she can cause me to hurt anyone else.”
“You really want this?”
“Do I want to die? Nay, but neither do I want to live in constant fear of hurting the people who I call friends.”
That made Hayden remember Ian and what brought him to her to begin with. The thought that she now shared her bed with Ian soured his stomach. “I suppose that includes Ian.”
“It does,” she answered without hesitation.
“It didn’t take you long to replace me in your bed, did it?”
Her ice-blue eyes went wide with shock and then anger. She took two steps and slapped him hard across the face.
Hayden hadn’t predicted that. His cheek stung, and he knew if he looked in a mirror there would be an imprint of her hand. He jerked his head around to give her a piece of his mind when she raised her hand to hit him again.
He captured it before she could connect it to his face a second time. To his surprise she raised the other, which he easily caught. “Not a good idea, Isla,” he ground out as he pushed her back against the wall until she was trapped.
“You’re an arse, Hayden.”
“Maybe, but at least I give my lovers a day before moving someone else into my bed.”
“You know nothing. Nothing. You speculate and assume.”
“I know what I see.”
Her chest rose and fell with each heavy breath, anger coming off her in waves. Her beautiful ice-blue eyes were bitter and hard as she glared daggers at him.
He realized then just how close to her he was. He could feel her heat, her softness, and the passion coiled tightly within her.
And it was his undoing.
He tried to look anywhere but her eyes. It was only her fury that kept him from kissing her. He’d be damned if he’d make that mistake again and get caught up in her body, forgetting everyone and everything.
THIRTY
Isla couldn’t believe Hayden would actually think Ian was her lover. She had never dared to slap anyone before. As soon as her hand had connected with his face, the need to hit him again had been too powerful to resist.
It had released something inside her, released the anger that had built.
But Hayden had been too quick. He’d ensnared both her wrists and trapped her against the wall. The cool stone to her back, and his warm body at her front.
It took less than a heartbeat for her indignation to turn to searing desire. She didn’t want to feel anything for Hayden, especially after he had embarrassed her so, but her body refused to listen.
Hayden’s face was breaths from hers. She stared into his fathomless black depths and knew she was his, knew resisting would only cause herself more heartache. There was no getting away, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to.
Aye, he had hurt her. Terribly. But what he made her feel, how he made her come alive whenever he was around, was beautiful and like a dream come true.
It was something Isla never thought to experience for herself, yet here it was, right in front of her. Could she—should she—walk away?
Hayden seemed to understand at that moment that something had changed. His gaze searched her face, and he leaned down as if to kiss her when suddenly he began to pull back.
Isla wanted Hayden, wanted all the distrust and anger that came with him. Without a second thought she rose up on her toes and placed her lips on his.
He jerked and stood motionless. Isla kissed him again, and this time Hayden came out of his stupor. His mouth greedily devoured hers in a kiss that left her breathless and aching for more.
His lips were firm yet gentle, demanding yet seeking. His tongue swept into her mouth and stole her breath—and her soul. His kiss was urgent, passion-filled, and seductive.
It never entered her mind not to give all of herself in return. She opened her body, opened her heart and dove into the seductive passion she knew awaited her in Hayden’s arms.
She wanted her arms around his neck, to feel the slide of his silken hair through her fingers, but he still held her wrists. Imprisoned, trapped by his solid body.
The feel of his hot, hard shaft against her stomach sent flutters of excitement through her. Her blood turned to fire and heat settled between her legs, throbbing and insistent.
His hands flattened against her palms for a moment before he threaded his fingers with hers. Connecting them, uniting them on the basest of levels.
Yet Isla couldn’t help but feel as if an invisible thread wove them together, binding them in ways only they would be able to detect.
Hayden moaned deep in his throat and leaned his body against hers. She wanted to wrap her hands around his arousal again, to feel the steely strength of his cock as she brought him pleasure. She wanted to take him into her mouth until he came, until he shouted her name.
His hands caressed down her arms to her sides then to her back where he crushed her to his chest, locking her tightly against him, as he turned them away from the wall. He bent her over his arm as his mouth traced a hot, wet trail from her jaw down her neck.
One moment they were standing, and the next Isla was on her back on the bed. She stared up at Hayden as he looked down at her. His black eyes watched her with a measure of lust and wonder. Unable to stop herself, Isla ran a thumb over his wide lips.
He turned his head into her hand and kissed her palm. Achingly tender, lovingly gentle.
The yearning she saw in his eyes made her heart leap into her throat. How could someone who hated her so much want her so desperately? She didn’t understand it, and at the moment, none of it mattered.
He made her feel adored, treasured, beautiful. Wild and awakened. Erotic and aroused.
As soon as he reached for the pin holding his kilt, Isla jumped from the bed and began to jerk off her clothes. They couldn’t come off fast enough. She heard a rip and knew she would have to mend her gown later but didn’t care.
The feel of Hayden’s large hand on her back sent chills running
over her skin. He smoothed her hair out of the way and kissed her shoulder. She shivered as his fingers traced her scars.
Her heart caught in her throat. Her back was repulsive, vile. She didn’t know if she could stand to have him look at it as he was, but she couldn’t move.
“You’re beautiful.”
Her eyes clouded with tears. No one but her father had ever called her pretty. To hear it from Hayden, now, filled her with emotions raw and intense that left her exposed, afraid.
Isla turned to face him, uncaring if he saw the tears or not. He sank to the bed, and she knelt in front of him. She cupped her hands on either side of his face and let him see how much his words meant.
She had no experience with what was happening to her. She wasn’t sure if she should say something or keep it locked away to look at later in the quiet of her dreams.
Hayden took the decision from her when he kissed her again softly, gently at first, then the fire took them both. The kiss deepened, pulling them both into the flames of passion. His kiss demanded everything of her, and she eagerly, easily gave it to him.
His hands were everywhere. He teased, he caressed, he tempted. Every place he touched burned for more of him, more of what they were together.
He laid her on the bed and straddled her hips while his mane of golden locks framed a face filled with desire so fierce, so searing that it stole her breath.
His hand stroked her jaw and neck before he splayed his fingers and slid his hand down between her breasts to her stomach.
Isla trembled with a need so great she didn’t think it would ever be quenched. Hayden bent forward as his body moved to cover hers. She loved the feel of him atop her, loved the way his skin moved over hers.
Her hands roamed his shoulders and neck before her fingers plunged into his cool, clean locks. She held onto him then as he began weaving his seductive passion around her.
Hayden cupped her breasts in each hand and smiled devilishly at her before he captured a nipple in his mouth. Isla gasped as she felt him suck at the tiny nub before giving it a gentle nibble.
She tried to watch him, but she was caught on a wave of passion as dark and promising as Hayden’s midnight eyes. Desire turned her blood molten, her body yielding and eager.
His lips drew back so she could see her nipple caught in his teeth. He tugged, giving just enough pressure with his teeth that pleasure speared through her body to center at her sex, making it throb to feel him deep inside her, moving and filling her.
With Isla, Hayden found he always wanted more. Nothing was ever enough. He couldn’t kiss her enough, touch her enough, or desire her enough. He couldn’t know her body enough, pleasure her enough, or claim her enough.
He loved watching the play of emotions cross her face as he fondled her. She was so responsive to his every touch that it made it easy for him to discover what pleased her most.
Hayden wanted to spend hours feasting at her breasts, but when Isla’s hand reached between them and stroked his aching cock, he couldn’t wait another moment to be inside her.
He rose over her, his hands braced on either side of her head. He let her guide him to her opening and felt the slick moisture there, the heady heat of her waiting for him. She was more than ready for him. And he couldn’t linger another moment.
As soon as the tip of him was inside her, he thrust his hips forward, hard and fast, burying himself deep. The feel of her hot, tight walls surrounding him was the most wonderful, the most soul-awakening sensation.
He didn’t want to think about what she was anymore. He didn’t want to see his dead family anymore. All he wanted, all he craved, was the woman in his arms.
When she wrapped her legs around his waist and locked her ankles together it only spurred Hayden’s need. He tried to keep his pace slow to prolong the exquisite torture, but Isla wanted none of that.
He matched her tempo, his hard, deep thrusts filling her, stretching her time and again. He felt her body stiffening, felt the desire growing quickly and knew she was close.
His hips bucked, seeking to drive deeper into her, to give the same pleasure, the same ecstasy she gave him.
“Hayden,” she screamed and raked her nails down his back. Her back arched, her head thrown back as she peaked.
He watched in awe as her body trembled beneath him as pleasure overtook her. As her stunning ice-blue eyes opened and focused on him. In her depths he saw pleasure, aye, but he also saw something deeper, something more profound.
Before he could wonder at it, he found himself reaching his own orgasm. Her hands smoothed over his back as he plunged inside her once more and gave himself over to the climax.
His arms shook as he struggled to hold himself up while he was carried on the wave of pleasure so intense, so driving that he knew he’d never be the same again.
Hayden let himself drown in her eyes, wondering what had just happened and afraid to ask. He lowered his forehead to hers and shared a satisfied smile. Her hands, however, never stopped touching him.
It wasn’t long before it became difficult to keep his eyes open. He rolled onto his back and pulled her with him. He didn’t question his need to keep her near, just gave in to it as he had everything else that night. She cuddled in the crook of his arm, her head on his chest and her hand over his heart.
She fit perfectly against him, as if she had been made just for him.
The last thing Hayden thought before he fell asleep was how right it felt to be with Isla.
* * *
Isla woke with the light of dawn filtering through her window. She was on her side facing where Hayden had been. The spot was empty now. She tried not to let his absence ruin the glow of their wondrous night, but it was difficult. The only evidence of him was the hollow in the pillow where his head had been.
She was disappointed. She had thought he might stay the night, but she should have known better. Isla ran her hand over the pillow and wondered when Hayden had left.
How would he act when she saw him later? Would there be contempt now? She sat up, clutching the linens to her chest. That’s when her gaze landed on Hayden sitting in the chair studying her.
“You thought I left,” he said.
She nodded.
His mouth twisted wryly. “It would have been the easiest thing to do. I couldn’t, though.”
Her stomach fell to her feet. Whatever was to come, she knew it wouldn’t be good. “Why?”
He leaned forward so that his forearms rested on his knees. His head dropped for a moment before he raised it to look at her. “I came here last night to understand why you had asked the MacLeods to kill you. I also wanted to know why you had turned to Ian so quickly.”
“I never took Ian to my bed,” she inserted hastily.
His gaze bore into hers, searching for the truth. He must have found it because he gave a single nod of his head.
“What happens now?” she asked.
“I doona know. I’ve never been so befuddled in my life, Isla.” He slapped his hand on his thigh before he rose to his feet and paced in front of the bed. “I’ve never had difficulty making decisions before. And I doona like it.”
She knew what his dilemma was, but it was nothing she could help him with. “I am what I am, Hayden. I’m sorry for it. I should have been stronger, I know. Instead, I became a drough.”
“For your family.” He paused and turned to her. “Do you believe I think you weak?”
Isla shrugged and drew her knees to her chest. “It’s what I think of myself.”
“I would have done anything to save my family. Anything. You did what you had to do.”
His eyes glittered with intensity. She knew in that moment that he would, in fact, do whatever it took for his family. And right now, everyone at MacLeod Castle was that family.
Everyone except her.
“What’s the reason you are so confused?” She knew the answer, but she wanted him to say it.
Hayden blew out a ragged breath and looked away. �
��You know the reason.”
“Say it.”
“Why? You know it.”
Isla would not relent in this. He had to admit it to her, to himself. “Say. It.”
He jerked his head to her, his nostrils flaring and his face set in hard lines. “All right. You’re a drough. I loathe droughs. I vowed to my family I would kill them all, especially the one responsible for their deaths.”
Finally. She had wanted to hear him say it, but now that he had, she wished he hadn’t. He hated the very thing she was. How could they continue on in any sort of fashion? Not even the night they had shared when she was sure he had opened himself to her had done anything to change that.
The simple answer was that they couldn’t.
He blew out a harsh breath. “I had always protected my family. I was the one they looked to, and I failed them. I wasn’t there to fight off the drough.”
She wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault, but she knew he wouldn’t listen. It was easier to blame oneself than see the truth that nothing could have prevented what happened to his family.
“I have one question for you,” she said. “If you had known I was a drough when you found me on Cairn Toul, would you have left me there?”
His muscle worked in his jaw as he clenched it. “Without a second thought.”
At least he told her the truth. It may not be what she wanted or needed to hear, but it was the truth.
“Then I got to know you. The attraction between us began the instant I found you on Cairn Toul. I tried to deny it, tried to ignore it. But I cannot deny or ignore you.”
His words were a balm to her soul. Yet she saw the torment in his black eyes, saw how he suffered from her presence. He might desire her, but he still didn’t like her. “I will be gone soon, and your life can return to the way it was.”
“Do you mean dead or gone?”
Isla had already decided that either way she would ask the MacLeods to take her head. She hadn’t lied last night. She was tired of living this life. “Does it matter?”
He looked away and she smiled ruefully. “Ah. I see. You want to make sure I’m dead so there will be one less drough around.”