I blushed at his words. Luckily, I was wearing make up to cover most of it.
He stepped toward me then gripped my hips. When he looked down at me he breathed hard, like he was restraining himself. Then he pressed his lips to mine and kissed me. He didn’t pull away quickly like he usually did. He gently massaged my mouth, giving me purposeful kisses. His fingers dug into me, squeezing me. I moved my hands to his shoulders, my favorite feature. He wore a dark blazer over his button up. It was the nicest outfit I’d ever seen him wear.
And he looked hot in it.
His tongue touched mine, slowly dancing.
A moan escaped my mouth involuntarily. No one had ever kissed me passionately like that. I could feel his love in every caress.
When it got heated, he breathed into me, filling my lungs. His hand moved to the dip in my back, pulling me far into him. Then he abruptly ended the kiss, stepping back like I bit his lip. He rubbed his mouth, a look of longing in his eyes. “We should go…”
The air had been pulled out of me. I wanted to keep going, to feel his soft lips against my own. I wanted to taste him—everywhere. “Yeah…”
Still lost in the moment, we walked to his truck in a daze. The drive was spent in silence. We were both thinking about that kiss. It was passionate and volatile, about to explode in a cosmic fire. My lips burned like a flat iron had been pressed against it. The area between my legs pooled with moisture…a foreign sensation to me.
“I’ve never felt like that before.” He stared straight ahead, one hand on the wheel and the other on the armrest.
I assumed he was talking about the kiss.
“I’ve had strong physical relationship with women, some better than others, but just a kiss from you puts all of them to shame.”
That was a compliment I never expected to receive.
“You really drive me wild.” His free hand moved to my thigh, touching me gently.
“I’ve never felt like that before either… I think about things I’ve never thought before.”
“Like what?” he whispered.
Should I say? It was a little embarrassing. “Being with you…”
“In what way?”
He was going to make me come out and say it? “Making love.”
He glanced at me from his side of the truck. After he locked his eyes with mine he turned back to the road. “There’s nothing I want more, babe. But I want to wait until you’re ready. I’m not in a hurry.”
He never put pressure on me or made me feel obligated to do anything. I wasn’t ignorant to the fact that he slept with more girls than I could count. He obviously was used to sex on a regular basis but he never held that over my head. He was faithful to me and patient the entire time. Most guys would lose interest and leave. But Scotty didn’t. Even after knowing about my horrific past, he still stuck around. I looked out the window, not wanting to expose my face to him.
When we got to the restaurant, Scotty held my hand and guided me inside. He wore dark jeans with dress shoes. And he wore a silver watch. His style was impeccable and far different from the usual jeans and t-shirt he wore. His chest looked nice in the blazer. But then again, his chest always looked nice, even if he wasn’t wearing anything at all.
His hand moved to the small of my back. “I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”
His words caught me off guard. He was always so sweet to me. “I think you have that backwards.”
“Nope.” He guided me to the table where Liam and Keira were sitting.
My heart immediately moved into my throat. I knew Keira despised me. I couldn’t tell with Liam. He was always indifferent, but he probably had the same feelings as his fiancé.
“Good evening, everyone.” Scotty let me move into the booth first.
We were at a swanky Italian restaurant. A candle was in the middle, and waiters with ties served the dishes.
When I sat down, I was face to face with Keira. “Hi…”
“Hi.” Her face was passive. I had no idea what she was thinking.
“It’s nice to see you,” Liam said politely.
I smiled then quickly dropped it.
Scotty sat beside me then rested his hand on my thigh. “Would you like some wine?”
“No, thank you,” I said immediately
He stared at me for a moment before he dropped the look. “So, what’s new with you guys?”
“Planning the wedding,” Liam answered. “We think we’re going to have something small on the beach.”
“Sounds good,” Scotty said. He looked at his cousin. “Did you find a dress yet?”
“No.” She looked out the window, dismissing him.
Scotty’s jaw clenched. “Knock it off, Keira.”
I didn’t want a confrontation. “It’s okay,” I interrupted. “I understand why she dislikes me.”
“Loathes you, actually.” Keira continued to stare out the window.
Scotty sighed and turned to me. “Let me tell her.” His voice was barely a whisper.
About what happened to me? “No.”
“It would explain everything. She won’t judge you for it.”
“I said no.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
Scotty turned to Liam. He mouthed, “Help me.”
Liam put his arm around Keira’s shoulders. “Baby, play nice.”
“No,” she snapped. “This girl is nothing but a heartbreaker. She uses my cousin and plays on his feelings.”
“Just do it for Scotty,” he commanded.
“Scotty was a jackass to you even when I asked him not to be.” Keira picked up the menu and looked through the entrees.
Scotty looked at me, a plea in his eyes.
I didn’t want her to know. She would pity me and be disgusted with me. Why would she want her cousin to date someone so messed up in the head? I shook my head slightly.
Scotty sighed in annoyance. “Keira, stop being a brat and show my girlfriend some respect.”
“I will when she shows you some respect,” Keira mumbled.
“You don’t know Livia like I do. There are a lot of things that go on in my personal life that I don’t tell you about. Livia left me, but she had a good reason.”
“A good reason?” she hissed.
“Yes.” Scotty stared her down.
“And what reason was it?” Keira demanded.
Scotty sighed. “None of your business.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”
“You’re the one who broke up with Liam, like, ten times,” Scotty snapped. “I’m surprised he didn’t dump your ass and leave. If you’re going to give Livia shit for a bump in the road, you’re a damn hypocrite.”
Keira gave him a fuming gaze.
“Now stop being a brat and make an effort to like Livia. She’s the only girl I want and she’s going to be around a long time.”
“Like, until tomorrow?” Keira jabbed.
“Keira.” Liam gave her a dark look.
She stilled at his words.
“I like Livia—a lot. I accept her. Now you need to as well.” Liam dropped his hand from her shoulder.
“Why do you like her?” Keira asked.
Why did he like me?
“I can tell she loves Scotty. And that’s enough for me.”
Scotty released the air from his lung noticeably.
Is there something else going on here?
“Fine.” Keira looked at her menu again. “I’m getting the fettuccini. How about you, Livia?” The disdain was still heavy in her voice, but it was an improvement.
I looked at the selections. “The tortellini.”
“Good choice,” Scotty said.
Scotty and Liam discussed fighting techniques and opponents. Keira and I listened, trying to act interested. Since Keira refused to talk to me, there was dead weight in the air. Scotty only said good things about her, so she must be a really cool person. I just didn’t have the privilege of seeing it. When I went to the BBQ at her house, she was sweet to
me. Those days were over. I could just tell her the truth and why I left, but it was a secret I wanted to take to my grave.
When the bill came, Scotty and Liam split it down the middle.
I’m glad this night is over.
“Well, thanks for the—pleasant—evening,” Scotty said, shooting a glare at Keira.
We left the restaurant and walked to our cars outside. Liam and Scotty spoke in quiet whispers, leaving Keira and I alone.
Keira stared me down, the anger deep in her eyes. “Hurt him again and I’ll hurt you.”
I said nothing and kept my mouth shut. If she were someone else, I’d tell her off. But she meant a lot to Scotty and I wouldn’t disrespect her because of that reason. Besides, she was the only family he had.
Scotty came back to me then opened the door to his truck. “After you.”
I got inside then he shut the door. Once the silence landed on my ears I took a deep breath. Liam and Keira got into their truck and drove away.
Scotty put his hand on my thigh once he was inside. “I’m sorry about her. I didn’t think she would be that bad.”
“It’s okay. I understand. Ash would probably act the same way.”
He was quiet for a while. “If you let me tell her the truth, she’ll understand the situation. She’ll feel horrible for being so rude to you and apologize. It’ll clear up everything. And you have baggage Keira can relate to.”
“I said no.”
He sighed. “This is my cousin. She’s really important to me. I need you guys to get along.”
Damn. When he put me on the spot like that how could I say no?
“She won’t tell anyone. I promise.”
“Okay.” I couldn’t believe I agreed to this.
“Really?”
I nodded.
He grabbed my hand and kissed it. “Thank you. I know how hard that is for you.”
“And I know I would do anything for you.”
His eyes softened then he kissed my forehead. “Now let’s go home and get into our sweatpants.”
I laughed. “We sound like an old married couple.”
“Because we are.”
When we got into bed, I felt his warm skin under my fingertips. His skin was smooth, leading to valleys and crevasses that led on forever. When I touched him, I felt the burn go all the way down to my toes. I’d never been sexually attracted to someone the way I was to him. And I hadn’t been attracted to anyone at all since six months ago.
My hand moved downwards and I felt the light hair that led to his groin. I didn’t touch the brim of his boxers but I felt him everywhere else. His thigh was next to mine and I could feel the muscle underneath. His knuckles were weathered and worn, and his forearms were marked in bruises, but he was smooth everywhere else. He had just the right amount of hair on his legs and arms. Not too much, but not too little. When I snuggled close to him, I felt his massive arm against my back. It was as big as my head. Over the months since I’d known him, he’d grown into a massive warrior. Muscle was packed everywhere, and he emitted enough heat to start charging me for using it.
I wanted to kiss him again, to feel like I hadn’t for a month. Before I told him the truth, our relationship was perfect. The trust was undeniable and so was the love. And even though things were different now, they were better. He knew what I’d endured and he was still here. Nothing had changed.
His fingers interlocked with mine, resting on his chest. His room was dark. He used curtains and blinds to keep the morning light out. It was definitely a man cave. Light was limited but I could still see his outline. I could see eyes reflect in the darkness.
I kept thinking about his lips and how they felt against mine. He said he didn’t kiss girls when he fucked them, but he seemed to have enough experience to make him a pro. He knew exactly when to give and when to take. He scent chills down my spine, making me hot and cold at the same time.
I knew Scotty was hesitant to initiate something physical with me. When he abruptly ended our kiss earlier, I knew he was losing control and didn’t trust himself. I didn’t trust myself either. But wasn’t that how love was supposed to be? When you wanted to break the rules just to be with the other person?
I’d never been forward with a guy before. My first kiss was in junior high, and then my first real kiss was in high school, but they were both terrible. And in both instances, the guy initiated it. I’d never taken the dive myself.
But I knew I needed to do it with Scotty. He was so respectful of me and sensitive toward my feelings that he never would if he was unsure. With my blood pounding in my ears, I lifted myself up on one arm then moved over him.
His flinched at my movement then looked up at me.
Slowly, I placed my leg on the other side of his hip, almost straddling him, and then I leaned down and kissed him.
Scotty didn’t touch me. He felt my lips in the darkness, tasting them. He sucked on my bottom lip, being gentle but aggressive at the same time. He kept his hands by his sides when he kissed me, but his lips showed his passion. This time I slipped my tongue into his mouth. He opened his mouth wider and allowed me to enter. His warm breath filled me with every kiss. I could feel his excitement through his lips.
Then his hands were on me. He gripped my waist on the outside of my shirt, holding onto me. He never moved to my ass or my chest. There were safety zones he never left. Then he fisted my hair, pulling me further into him.
He was such an amazing kisser. I could do this all night. My hand glided up and down his chest, feeling the muscle underneath. I felt weightless with him because of his massive size.
He leaned up slightly, using one arm, and continued to kiss me. His hand gripped a handful of my hair and held on, like I might slip away. I liked it when he touched me like that, like he was claiming me.
I lowered my bottom to his waist, and suddenly felt something extremely hard. Our kiss ended and he stared at me, unashamed. He knew exactly what I felt because he felt it too.
He had an impressive size. I’d never taken anything like that, and I wasn’t sure if I could. But for some reason the idea made me aroused. I thought something like this would freak me out, make me think of the night my life ended. But it didn’t.
Because it was completely different.
When Scotty realized I was okay, he sat up then wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me to his chest. My legs wrapped around his waist, and my bottom was still glued to his crotch. He kissed me again, his mouth devouring mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, wanting more than he could give.
Every time we moved slightly, his cock rubbed against my clitoris. It was a stimulation I never expected. And it felt really good. Sometimes he hit me in just the right spot that my lips became immobile. I breathed into his mouth, moaning. When Scotty realized this, he gripped my hips and slowly moved me forward and backward. His lips were on mine, giving me the purposeful kisses I loved.
My hands moved to his shoulders and I dug my nails into his skin, unable to process how good it felt. When I couldn’t kiss him any longer, he moved his lips to my neck and trailed intimate kisses everywhere.
The burn was between my legs and I felt it move to my stomach. I wasn’t sure what was happening to my body. It was like I had to pee. The longer Scotty moved me across his length, the stronger the sensation felt.
“Scotty…I think I have to pee.”
He stopped kissing me then pressed his face to mine. A slight smile was on his lips. “You’ve never had an orgasm before?”
No…but how did he know that?
“The nerves of your vagina are really close to your bladder. Sometimes it feels like you have to go even if you don’t.”
God, I was embarrassed. I was so glad he couldn’t see how red my face was.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” he whispered. “I’m glad I get to be the first man to give you one.” His lips sealed over mine again. The beginning of his kiss was slow. Then it turned into the passionate kissing we had before. He did
n’t pull me across his groin again. Several minutes passed before I stopped thinking about my humiliation. Then he moved me again, rocking his hips slightly.
I was in a blaze of longing while I felt the heat pool between my legs. My nerves were on fire and my body shook with the impending pleasure. Scotty ended our kiss then stared at my face.
“I want to watch you.”
I locked my eyes onto his while I felt the hard pressure down below. My nails dug further into his skin when I felt it build. The burn quickly turned into a forest fire. The muscles around my ribs clenched tightly, and my lungs burned because I was holding my breath.
Then it happened.
“Oh my god…” I gripped him tightly, holding on for the entire ride. “Scotty…” I was out of breath, unable to process how wonderful it felt. The pleasure lasted for several seconds, making me light-headed and dizzy. The tenderness grew in my clitoris and I felt the tightness from my muscles.
Scotty stopped moving me. His hands rested on my hips and he pressed his forehead to mine.
“That was incredible.”
He smirked. “I’m glad you liked it.”
“I want another one,” I blurted.
He laughed lightly. “I’ll give you plenty more.”
I moved off his lap then lay on my back. I reached out to him, wanting him on top of me.
He eyed me hesitantly.
“I’m okay.” I was. Scotty would never rush me into anything.
He slowly leaned over me, making sure his legs weren’t between mine. But that wasn’t what I wanted. I opened my legs and wrapped them around his waist. Then I pulled his mouth to mine, kissing him.
His mouth didn’t move against mine. He held himself over me, not responding. Then he pulled away. “Are you doing okay?” The fear was in his voice.
“Yes.” I pulled his lips back to mine and kissed him passionately. He gave me the first positive sexual experience of my life. I knew it wasn’t just a painful experience. It wasn’t uncomfortable. It was beautiful. My hands moved up his back, feeling the definition of every single muscle. His chest touched mine, pressing against my breasts. I still felt his hard cock. And I wanted to keep feeling it.
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