My dad visibly relaxed.
“As long as things are different from now on, we can try.” I wasn’t cold. My parents hurt me but if there was any chance we could make this work, it was worth the risk.
“It will be different.” My mom hugged me, actually hugged me. The wind was knocked out of me. Any time she embraced me, it was just for social purposes. She never held me like she really wanted to.
Then my dad embraced me next, hugging me like I was a little girl. I breathed into his chest, feeling loved for the first time in years.
My mom kept her hand on my shoulder. “Come home and let’s have Thanksgiving.”
I looked back at the house. “Why can’t we just have it here?”
My mom exchanged a look with my dad then turned back to me. “As long as we’re welcome.”
“You are.” Scotty would do anything I asked.
“Okay,” my dad agreed. The hesitance was in his voice.
I walked back to the door and opened it. Scotty was standing nearby, waiting for me to return. He watched my face, looking for tears or sadness. When there was none, the threat left his eyes.
“Can my parents stay for Thanksgiving?” I asked quietly.
His lips relaxed and his frown disappeared. “Of course.”
I stepped aside and let my parents enter his house.
My mom reached Scotty first. “Can we try this again?” She extended her hand to shake his.
He smiled then shook it. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. James.”
“You too, Scotty.”
He walked to my dad and shook his hand. “You too, Mr. James.”
“Likewise,” my dad said.
Ash came into the room. “Are you guys going to stop being a dick to my little sister?”
My mom didn’t berate him for the language. “Yes.”
He came to my mom and hugged her. “Then it’s nice to see you.”
She hugged my brother tightly, smiling. “I was so scared I wouldn’t spend the holiday with my babies.”
My dad hugged him. “It’s nice to see you, son.”
“You too, Dad.” Ash patted his arm.
Scotty put his arm around my waist. “We got plenty of leftovers. I hope you’re hungry.”
My mom smiled. “We’re starving.”
“Mom, Scotty is an excellent cook.” Ash gripped Scotty’s shoulder. “Like, better than you.”
“I’ll be the judge of that,” my dad said with a twinkle in his eye.
We moved to the kitchen table and sat down. And for the first time, I had dinner with my family and didn’t feel worthless, stupid or ugly.
I felt loved.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Livia
Now that I felt accepted with my parents, my heart wasn’t burdened with so much weight. Perhaps I would have had more strength to reach out to my parents after that night when Jacob violated me if I felt a little more secure with their image of me. Maybe if they respected me more things would have bee different. But it didn’t matter anyway.
My parents tried to give me what I needed. They respected Scotty and didn’t make any derogatory comments. I knew my parents weren’t thrilled about his career choice but they never mentioned it. I loved him and nothing they said would make me change my mind about that. He was it. Plain and simple.
I owed all of this to Scotty. He stood up for me when I didn’t stand up for myself. He didn’t beat around the bush with my parents. Just like a warrior in battle, he took initiative and controlled the situation. If my parents didn’t play by his rules, then there was nothing left to discuss. He was a wake up call for my parents. I was already his. They lost me a long time ago. But if they wanted any type of relationship with me, they’d have to go through him.
I never imagined I’d let someone take care of me, but Scotty did that every day and with ease. With him, I felt peaceful. Nothing was gnawing at my heart. I was no longer sick with trepidation. He was the light in the darkness, the open door in a maze of closed ones, and the sun on the horizon. He was everything.
Scotty invited me over for dinner that night. I went shopping and picked out a new dress to wear. I found matching heels to go with the dark purple dress. I’d never worked hard to dress myself up, but I wanted to look attractive for him. Actually, I wanted to look hot. He was always breathtaking and sexy. I wanted to be more like him.
I put on the strapless dress with my nude pumps then did my makeup. I added mascara to make my eyes more noticeable. A light smudge of purple eye shadow was added. I made sure my legs were shaved, and my other parts were ready to go. Maybe tonight would be the night. Maybe it wouldn’t. I wanted to be prepared either way.
When I arrived at his house, I raised my hand to knock. But then I remembered how adamant he was about me using my key. The last few times I knocked, he opened the door then slammed it again, telling me I needed to redo it.
This time, I pulled my key out of my bag then turned the lock. It was the first time I’d ever done it, and it felt oddly right. It seemed like I’d done it a hundred times. When I stepped inside, it was dark. But then I noticed the faint glow of the candles. They were everywhere.
My heart moved into my throat when I noticed the rose pedals on the ground. Tonight was not just another night. He had something planned. I walked into the living room, and noticed him standing beside the painting he bought. His hands were in his pockets and he stared at me intently. More candles littered the room. The glow flickered across his face.
I came closer to him, feeling the blood in my ears. He was wearing a suit, something I’d never seen him wear before. He even wore dress shoes. I glanced at the painting beside him, remembering my time creating it. I didn’t know how to express my emotions, how to get out of the prison I locked myself in. All I could was express myself in a world of color. The clock in the image was distorted and so were the walls. The girl beneath it looked lost, unable to run and escape her fate. She was trapped, just like I used to be…
Scotty grabbed the painting off the ground then carried it outside. He grabbed a candle on the way, adding light.
Now I was confused.
He held it on the lawn and waited for me to join him. Unsure what was happening, I followed him. His lawn had just been mowed, and the moisture was under my heel. Blades of grass stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He stared at me, studying my face.
I looked at the painting again then turned back to him. “I don’t understand…”
“I bought this painting because I knew what it represented to you. It told me everything that I needed to know. It was the night your life ended, the night when your soul was broken. It shattered my heart into a million pieces.”
“Then why did you buy it…?”
He said nothing for a full minute. “Because I knew I’d bring you back to life one day. And now that I have…” He handed the white candle to me. “I want you to burn it.”
I held the candle in my hand, feeling its heaviness. “Burn it?”
“Yes. Destroy it.” He stared me down.
I stared at the painting one more time, remembering how helpless I felt. Someone took something from me that didn’t belong to him. But somehow, in a twisted way, I was glad it happened. I found Scotty, and he made me happier than I’d ever been. If I weren’t broken just like him, would this love have formed between us? Would I just be another girl to him? What if that was the reason why I was different? How could I hate something in my past that brought me so much joy?
I came closer to the painting and held the candle to the corner. It took a moment for the wood to get hot enough to catch fire. It slowly burned, snapping and popping while the frame became hotter. Slowly, it started to move.
When the flames reached the canvas, Scotty let it fall to the ground, letting it burn into ash. I watched the painting disintegrate into pieces. The image on the front faded to black, unable to be distinguished. It slowly disappeared, fading into a memory.
When the fire
went out, I looked back at Scotty.
He came to me then cupped my face, placing the pads of his thumbs on my cheeks. He wiped away tears I never knew I had. “I hope those are happy tears.”
I nodded, unable to speak.
He kissed my forehead then stood under the stars with me, letting me recover from my long goodbye to my past. I finally let it go, finally stopped labeling myself as the girl who was raped. I was a different person, a new person. And Scotty helped me get there.
Without warning, he scooped me up into his arms and carried me inside. I knew where he was going without asking. The candles still glowed in the house, making it dark and romantic. The smell of all the candles came to my nose, reminding me of vanilla. He carried me into his bedroom then placed me on the sheets. He leaned over me, watching my face in the candlelight.
I knew what he was asking even if he didn’t voice it. He was gauging my reaction, trying to determine what I wanted.
“I’m ready,” I whispered.
He pressed his lips against mine and gave me a slow kiss. It was painfully slow, like a gentle burn that grows into a blaze. His lips felt every inch of mine, sucking and licking. He didn’t pick up speed for several minutes. And when he did, his hand moved into my hair, stroking the back of my neck gently.
My hands moved to his jacket, feeling the opening in the front. Slowly, I got it off of him, pulling it down his arms and then tossing it somewhere on the floor. He kept kissing me, unable to break away from me more than a moment. I loosened his tie with my hands, taking my time. His kiss was so good that it was distracting. He put his weight on one arm, not squishing me into the bed. Once his tie was off, I unbuttoned his shirt. I took my time, not wanting to rush this. I wanted it to last forever, to be in my thoughts for years to come.
Scotty’s hand snaked to my back and found the zipper to my dress. He pulled it down slowly, reaching down to my ass. When his hands were on me, I felt the fire burn between my legs. I squeezed them together, trying to control myself.
My hands pulled his shirt off then felt his prominent chest. He was a pure slab of muscle and strength. He could crush my waist with a single hand. If he wanted to kill me, all he would need to do is wrap his hand around my neck and squeeze.
I leaned up and pressed a kiss to his chest, wanting to taste him. He breathed hard while I ran my tongue over him. His hand fisted my hair, tangling it with his fingers. His mouth pressed to my ear, breathing hard. That excited me even more.
With shaking hands, I reached down to his pants and unbuttoned them. Then I yanked them down until he kicked them off, taking his shoes and socks too. Before I could pull down his briefs, he grabbed the back of my dress and yanked it down. It slithered down my body then past my wide hips. Then it was finally off.
I wasn’t wearing a bra so my tits were bare. He stared down at them, desire in his eyes. Then he sucked the nipple of each one, blowing hot air across the skin then sucking again. My hand moved into his hair, needing to grab onto something because it felt so good.
His hand moved to my thong and pulled it down my legs. Once that was off, he slid down the bed then moved his head between my legs. His tongue escalated me to new heights. My fingers dug into his shoulders while he circled my clitoris with his tongue. When I was shaking, spinning out of control, he ceased his touch.
I moaned in longing.
He climbed back up my body then hooked his arm around my waist. Then he lifted me, dragging me to the top of the bed until my head rested on one of his pillows.
My fingers moved to his waistband and I pulled his briefs down, letting his impressive cock pop out. I wasn’t sure how it would fit, but I was so turned on, I knew I’d make it work.
When we were both naked together, he kissed me again, taking his time just the way I wanted to. My legs circled his waist, and I felt his cock against my clitoris. Every move he made rubbed me in the right way, making me tighten around his hips.
Then he ended our kiss, staring down at me. The candlelight flickered across his face. I could see the love and devotion shine in his eyes. It was there every day since I met him. “Are you sure?”
I nodded.
“I need to hear you say it.”
“I want you.”
He moved over me, putting his arms under my knees as my legs moved back. I was open to him, and he was hovering over me, ready to slip inside. “What do you want me to do to you?”
“Make love to me, Scotty.”
He stared at my eyes, making sure there wasn’t a single glimpse of hesitation. When he saw none, he moved until his tip was pressed to my entrance. “Tell me if you want to stop.”
I gripped his shoulders, knowing that wouldn’t happen. This time would be different. It would be beautiful and satisfying. It wouldn’t hurt me or make me bleed, not like last time.
“Are you on the pill?”
I’d been on it ever since that horrific night because I was paranoid it would happen again. “Yeah.”
He pushed inside me gently, getting a few inches in.
“Oh…” My fingers dug into his skin as I felt the stretching. But it felt good, wonderful.
He watched me, seeing the feeling in my eyes. Then he moved in a little further, going slow.
My hands moved to his back, scratching him. “Hmm…” I breathed hard against his face, loving the way he filled me.
Then he inserted the rest of his length inside me. It was a tight fit but it felt amazing. He breathed hard with me while he stayed idle. We both took a moment to process what we were feeling. Having him inside me felt right, especially skin-to-skin.
Scotty kissed me, parting my lips with this tongue, and then started to move. He went slow, pulling out of me until his tip was at my entrance and then he moved inside again. He was going so slow, it was agonizing. Every time he stretched me, it felt wonderful.
He didn’t ask me if this was okay. He didn’t ask me if it hurt. He could read the reaction in my eyes, the pleasure and the satisfaction. I wrapped my arms around his neck then slowly lifted my hips, moving with him.
He tensed then moaned. “Livia, you feel so fucking good.”
I bit my lip and let my head roll back, loving the connection of our bodies. “Scotty…”
He rocked into me slowly, kissing me again. His hand moved back into my hair, which he did often, and he breathed into my mouth, the heat filling my lungs. Our lips crushed together and our bodies molded into one.
“Livia.” He kissed my forehead and looked into my eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you too…”
He rocked me from above, keeping the same pace. It was slow but sensual. I could do this all night. When I felt that familiar burn between my legs, I knew he was taking me to a climax, which he always did. He touched me in just the right way and gave me the best orgasm I’d ever felt in my life.
“Oh my god…”
He pumped into me harder, making the orgasm feel as good as possible. Sweat trickled down his chest and splashed onto mine. He moaned while he watched me, loving the sight of me biting my lip.
When I was finished, I clung to him. I breathed hard, recovering from the way he blew my mind.
I wanted him to feel as good as I did. I wanted to do this every night with him. I wanted him for all my life. I widened my legs then rocked into him from below, taking over the work.
He breathed hard then clenched my hip, getting ready to explode.
After the five guys came inside me, I was disgusted with myself. I hated thinking about it. It was repulsive and gross. But I wanted Scotty to do it. I wanted him to be inside me, to feel me in such an intimate way. “Come inside me.”
He moaned loudly at my words then looked into my eyes.
My hands dug into his shoulders while I lifted myself off the mattress.
He breathed hard then tensed. He suddenly stopped, grunting. Then he made his final thrusts. He looked into my eyes while he finished.
I moved my hands through his hair while I
stared up at him, seeing the face I trusted and adored. I initially ran from him the first time he spoke to me, but now he was the man I ran to. He was the shoulder I leaned on, the rock I used for support. He was everything and more.
Scotty stayed inside me, still leaning over me. “You’re my first. And thank you for letting me be yours.”
I didn’t understand his meaning. “But you aren’t…”
“Yes, I am. That’s how you lost your virginity. It happened here, with me, and it was romantic and beautiful. I loved you with my whole heart and you loved mine. They may have taken your body, but they never claimed your soul. I just did.”
My eyes softened when I stared at him. My heart ached from the love deep inside. Words could never describe what he meant to me. Not only did he heal my past, but he changed it. The scars that marked my body were now gone. He rewrote my past and became my future. “You’ve healed me more than words can describe.”
He kissed my forehead. “And you healed me in the same way.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Scotty
I was ready fort his.
I spent months training, becoming the best I could be. Hours of blood, sweat, and tears went into this moment. I was pumped, ready for action.
“Nervous?” Bran asked.
I glared at him. “Is that supposed to encourage me?”
He shrugged. “It’s what I always ask Liam before a fight.”
“And it’s extremely annoying,” Liam said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“So…did you guys take care of that thing?” I asked discreetly.
Liam winked. “We got you covered.”
“Got what covered?” Livia asked, standing by my side.
Keira came forward and intervened. “I had a pregnancy scare.” She shrugged her shoulders like it was no big deal.
“Oh…” Livia didn’t know what to say.
I glared at my cousin. That was the worst excuse I’ve ever heard. She really couldn’t think of something else?
“Well, I’m glad it worked out…” Livia crossed her arms over her chest, feeling awkward.
“Yeah…” The subject needed to be changed. “You think I’m ready?” I asked Liam.
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