In the far distance, I could hear the vague murmur of voices, faint as whispers. I felt a powerful yearning to draw closer to them, but I could not move, and the voices continued to drift in and out of my awareness like the ebb and flow of a tide on a faraway shore. I willed myself to concentrate, to hone in on the voices, until one particular voice seemed to rise above the others. It was deeply familiar, and I clung to the steady rise and fall of its cadence, until the words it spoke became clear.
“Robert once told me that he hoped I would always look out for you. He was quite perceptive. I think he knew I loved you before I did. He always had a way of seeing—”
The words faded back into that distant murmur, becoming unrecognizable once more. I desperately wanted to cry out for the voice to return, to not leave me alone in this place. But more familiar voices came into clarity, and I clung to them like a lifeline.
“You told your first governess you’d no reason ta learn embroidery—you were goin’ ta be a scientist li’ your father. You made ‘a cry . . . ’n you were just a lass o’ ten. Any other parent would’ve been furious, but Robert was only amused. After your third governess quit, he hired your first science tutor. Oh, Mina,” the voice continued, beginning to quiver. “Your father’d not want you ta drift away so soon. You’ll see your parents again one day, but not yet. Come back t’ us, bairn.”
“I never should have allowed you to take on those monsters,” a different voice said. “I’m unworthy of you, of your love. Mina, I vow to give you your freedom, to allow you to live the life you were always meant to lead, if only you would open your eyes again,” the voice broke, dissolving into heartbreaking sobs.
I wanted to respond, but I was paralyzed in the darkness, and silence surrounded me once more. I tried to seek out more voices in the deafening quiet, and I soon heard another familiar voice.
“I was quite lonely as a child,” the voice said. “I . . . hated what I was. I desperately longed to be human, and I was envious of you. You got to live with our mother, you knew your father, and you were so loved by them. My envy was so great that I did not want to watch over you, but I made her a promise. I am glad that I did. I am glad that I came to know you. Sister, you are stronger than most. Do not succumb to the darkness. Do what you do best. Fight, Mina. Fight.”
“I never wanted to marry,” that first familiar voice spoke again, the one that initially brought me out of the blackness. This time, I willed myself to hold on to it, to use it as an anchor to pull me from this dark abyss. “I could tell that my parents never loved each other, they just did what was required of them. My life was to be dedicated to study, teaching, and scientific experimentation. But then I met you, and everything changed. I . . . I love you so, Mina. Even after you broke my heart, I never stopped. Even when I learned you were engaged to Jonathan. Even after you married him. Even now. I will never stop, though I know that I must love you from afar,” the voice continued, now strained with tears. “I love you. Please, come back to me. Come back.”
I continued to cling to the voice, and realized that I could now feel. There was a firm grip on my hand, a hot breath close to my ear. I continued to hold onto the sensations, until I could hear the distant rumble of footsteps and voices, birds chirping outside of a window. I felt the cool air of a room, and a dull pain in my wrist, my ribs, my back.
The darkness dissipated, and I opened my eyes.
I was in a hospital room, lying in bed. There were bandages wrapped around my torso beneath my gown, and around my wrist. Abe sat at my bedside, one hand clutching mine, the other hand covering his face as he silently wept.
My senses were no longer heightened. Everything seemed muted now, like vibrant colors reduced to gray. But I felt relief. It meant I was no longer undergoing the transformation, and I was fully human again.
It took great effort, but I managed to squeeze his hand with my own. He stiffened, lowering his hand from his face as his tearful blue eyes met mine.
“Mina,” he whispered, the dark shadow lifting from his visage, his eyes going wide with both astonishment and relief.
I managed to give him a shaky smile, and he reached out to pull me into a gentle embrace, weeping openly now. Though my body was still sore and aching, I clung to him, flooded with relief and love. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, breathing him in, grateful to be out of the darkness.
And then the memories of what happened at the estate flashed through my mind. My kukri severing Vlad’s head from his body. Ilona’s snarl of rage before Abe staked her. Jonathan’s still body. Jonathan . . .
“Jonathan,” I rasped abruptly, pulling back.
“He is alive and quite well. He was here earlier,” Abe said reassuringly. I closed my eyes, trembling with relief. “I–I should apologize, Mina. We entered the estate too soon and nearly got you both killed. It was my fault; I panicked when I saw that there was a group of vampires with Vlad. Szabina wanted us to hold off.”
“You forget that you saved my life. Ilona would have killed me,” I whispered, again reaching out to take his hand. “There is no need to apologize. I would have done the same if I feared your life was in danger.”
“I have no doubt of that,” Abe said, the corners of this mouth twitching with a smile, before he got to his feet, reluctantly releasing my hand. “The doctor should examine you. We told the staff you were both in a carriage accident,” he added, lowering his voice. I nodded with implicit understanding; I needed to uphold the lie.
Abe called for the doctor, a young man not much older than me with kind eyes. He allowed Abe to remain at my side as he gave me a cursory exam. He gently explained that after my carriage accident, I had been in a coma for a week. I had a broken wrist, sprained ribs, severe bruising around my throat, and a mild concussion. Severe blood loss caused my coma, and I had received a blood transfusion immediately upon admittance to the hospital.
“It was your husband’s suggestion that your friends talk to you in an effort to help pull you out of your coma,” the doctor said, gesturing towards Abe with a rueful smile. “I do admit that I was skeptical at first, but it appears he was right. Quite helpful having a doctor for a husband. He would have treated you himself had we allowed it, Missus Harker,” he added with a wry smile.
“I am not her husband,” Abe politely interjected. “Mina is my dearest friend. The man who was here earlier is her husband.”
The doctor flushed and hastily apologized. He completed my exam, informing me that I appeared to be healing well, but he wanted me to remain in the hospital for another day for more rest before they released me.
As soon as the doctor left us alone, I turned to Abe.
“What . . . what happened?” I asked, my voice still raspy.
“We are in a hospital in Essex. We brought you here and told the staff that both you and Jonathan had been in a carriage accident. Jonathan’s injuries were not as severe as yours. He had some bruising and blood loss, but he recovered a few days ago. He has been here at your side every day. After your transfusion, the doctor was not able to determine if—or how well—you would recover. I sent for Clara, and she has also been at your side all week. Jonathan, Clara and the others are staying at a nearby inn.”
“Vlad and Ilona’s bodies,” I whispered. “Are they—”
“We burned down the estate with their bodies inside; they all dissolved in the fire. The feral who transformed you is dead as well. You and Jonathan are no longer under the effects of the transformation. Szabina and Anara examined you both when the doctors were not nearby. Seward used his connections at Scotland Yard to have the fire declared an accident. No one outside of our group—except for Clara—knows what really happened.”
I leaned back, closing my eyes. I thought I would feel an exuberant joy at the confirmation of Vlad and Ilona’s demise. Instead, I felt a growing unease as I recalled Vlad’s words. Even if you had succeeded, this does not end with me.
“Vlad implied that there were others,” I said urgently. “Wh
at if—”
“Desperate final words,” Abe interrupted, but he avoided my eyes. “I am going to fetch Clara and your husband. Try to rest, Mina. I–I am quite relieved that you are awake.”
His behavior towards me was now oddly restrained and polite. There was no trace of the man who had made a tearful declaration of love only moments earlier.
I absently picked at the meal the nurse brought in after he left me, and I was not aware of how much time had passed until I heard a delighted squeal.
I looked up as Clara hurried into the room. She sat down on the bed and pulled me into a tight embrace, weeping. Gratitude swelled over me, and I was unable to hold back tears of my own. There had been moments during the journey when I had thought I’d never see her again.
“Mina,” she whispered tearfully. “Thank God. My prayers’ve been answered.”
She pulled back and proceeded to fuss over me, demanding that I eat all of my food. She informed me that she would make me spend a month in recovery, rather than the two weeks suggested by the doctor, and she would live with me permanently as I did so—married or not, she added. She did not inquire about any specifics of the journey, and I suspected that she didn’t want to know.
When Jonathan entered moments later, she gave him a warm smile and embrace before leaving us alone.
I took him in as he approached my bed. He still looked quite thin, his eyes shadowed with fatigue, but his color had returned and he looked like himself. He looked human.
He blinked as he returned my visual assessment, as if not quite believing I was truly awake. It wasn’t until I gave him a tentative smile and stretched my hand out towards him that he moved forward, taking a seat at my side.
“Darling,” he whispered, pulling me into his arms. “I was so frightened. I thought . . .” he trailed off, burying his face in my hair for a lengthy moment.
When he pulled away, he told me that with Abe’s help, he had explained away his disappearance to his mother. He informed her that he had a rare illness that he could only receive treatment for outside of England, and he didn’t want to worry her. I had learned of his illness after the fact and went after him, and we wed when he feared for his life, but he was cured now. Mary had been so relieved to see him alive and well that she accepted his story without too much question, and merely went silent when he told her of our marriage.
“I cannot tell you how happy I am to be holding you in my arms,” he breathed, as he pulled me into his arms once more. “What you did at the estate . . . I am in awe of you, Mina.”
He continued to hold me until the nurse entered and told him that I needed to rest. He was reluctant to leave, and gave me a tender kiss on the forehead before finally leaving the room.
In the day that followed, Gabriel, Seward, Anara, and Szabina all came to visit, praising me for my victory in killing Vlad. When I pressed them for news about any more unexplained murders or disappearances around Europe, any hint that a vampire threat still lingered, they simply urged me to focus on my recovery. But behind their warm words and smiles, there was a lingering tension, and I became certain that they were hiding something from me.
After my release from the hospital, I was moved back to my home in Highgate instead of Jonathan’s. Jonathan insisted that I should recover at my own home in familiar surroundings rather than his, and along with Abe and Gabriel, he dutifully came to visit me daily, despite Clara’s insistence that I should not receive visitors until I was fully recovered. Despite her annoyance with the frequent visits, she did seem taken with Gabriel, whose existence she had accepted with surprising alacrity. As I predicted, she was relieved that I had a new family member, even if he was a vampire, and she fussed over him nearly as much as she fussed over me whenever he came to visit.
As I rested at home, I grew increasingly edgy, hungry to know what had happened in the wake of Vlad’s death. Where had his surviving followers gone? Were any of them still in London? Clara waved off my request for newspapers, insisting that I focus on rest, and I wondered if she was hiding something as well.
Two weeks after my return home, when Abe came by for one of his visits, I’d finally had enough. I bluntly asked if he was hiding anything from me.
“Mina,” Abe warily replied, avoiding my gaze.
“Abe,” I returned, leaning forward to make him look at me. “What is happening?”
“You killed Vlad Draculesti, the Dracula. He had many passionate followers. Until we are certain you are no longer in danger, you will need to have guards. Jonathan has guards as well.”
“Guards?” I echoed in disbelief.
“Yes. Vampires,” Abe amended. “Gabriel trusts them, as do Anara and Szabina. You have fought alongside them. Do you remember Nikolaus and Kudret?” At my nod, he continued, “Gabriel followed you for years without you noticing. They will be discreet. You will hardly notice them. They have been positioned outside your home ever since your return.”
I leaned back against my chair, frowning. The thought of having guards was mildly annoying but not altogether surprising, yet I could not shake the feeling that Abe was still withholding something.
Before I could press him further, Clara entered the drawing room, trailed by Jonathan. Jonathan stiffened as he took us in, but he gave Abe a polite nod.
“I was informing Mina about your guards,” Abe said, hastily getting to his feet. “I will take my leave.”
He was gone before I could stop him, returning Jonathan’s polite nod.
“She needs ta rest, Jonathan,” Clara said crossly. “No more visitors, Mina.”
I couldn’t help but smile at her protectiveness, and she left the room with a scowl. I turned to Jonathan, giving him an apologetic look as he took a seat opposite me.
“I apologize for her. Clara’s always been protective. Since I’ve returned home . . .”
“I have seen it first hand,” Jonathan said, returning my amused smile. “She chastised all of us for visiting when you were in your coma, but I understand completely. She loves you. As do I.”
His voice was strained, and I studied him closely. His smile was forced, and he held himself with rigid tension.
“Has something happened?” I asked, worried.
“What? No, not at all,” Jonathan replied, too quickly. “I–I would love some time alone with you, and it is a lovely day out. Are you well enough to walk?”
“Yes,” I said eagerly, my unease dissipating at the thought of finally being able to leave the house. “But not very far,” I amended. “We may need to sneak out. Clara will have a fit at the mere thought of me taking a walk.”
Jonathan’s eyes twinkled with amusement. He took my hand, exaggeratedly leading me from the drawing room as if he were sneaking me out, and I couldn’t hold back my laughter.
Moments later, we were walking through the streets of Highgate, heading towards Waterlow Park. I felt cold stares on my back, and I instinctively stiffened. I glanced behind me, relaxing when I saw my two vampire guards, Nikolaus and Kudret. They gave me subtle nods.
“It will take some time to get used to,” Jonathan observed, following my eyes. “I quite enjoy my guards . . . two large and intimidating gentlemen. I’m considering using them to frighten some of my law rivals.”
I laughed, and he smiled in return, but it again seemed forced.
“Jonathan,” I said, stopping mid stride. “I can tell that something is wrong. Please tell me what it is.”
Jonathan did not immediately reply. Instead, he took my hand and led me into the park, where he sat down opposite me on a bench.
“Mina,” he said softly, after a long pause. “You don’t belong here.”
“What do you mean?” I whispered, my entire body going cold.
“What I said on the Orient Express . . . I still believe it to be true. Your place is not here with me. I think we both know that. It’s why I was so jealous when I saw you with Van Helsing at the Langham. There was a connection between the two of you that you and I have never sha
red, despite our love for each other. If I keep you here in London as my wife, you would grow to resent your life, and I would always feel like I was keeping you in a life that you weren’t meant for.”
“No,” I protested, feeling a hot rush of tears. “I meant what I told you on the train. My life is here with you, and—”
“I do love you,” he interrupted, his voice wavering now as his eyes swept over my face. “Which is why I’m letting you go. I know you, Mina. More than you realize. You love deeply, and you are so very loyal. You would have stayed by my side for as long as I wished . . . even at the sake of your own true happiness.”
“This is nonsense. I did not travel all the way to Transylvania to bring you home, only to lose you again,” I cried, blinking back my tears.
“I owe you my life, but I will not hold you in my debt. Search your heart, Mina.”
I looked away from him, forcing myself to think of my future in London—to truly think of it. Marrying Jonathan in an official society wedding. Participating in dinner parties, balls, the Season. Becoming a matriarch with children of my own. All the while wondering in the back of my mind about the path not taken; the life I could have lived. The sting of regret. The ever-present love for Abe lingering in my heart. And then the increasing discontent, the feeling of paralysis, of being trapped in a life I never wanted.
When I looked back at him, my vision was blurred with tears. I tried to speak, but no words came, and Jonathan read in my eyes what I could not bring myself to say aloud.
“There is no need to pretend anymore, Mina.”
He pulled me into his arms, and my tears flowed freely as I pressed my face into his chest. Letting go was an odd feeling, like leaping off the edge of a cliff. Beneath my heartache, I felt stirrings of both freedom and loss, excitement and sorrow. Though I loved Jonathan, I would never fit into his world, though I had desperately tried. The beginning of our inevitable end had been the night he was abducted from the Langham, or perhaps even before that, when Abe approached me on the street to tell me that the monster from Transylvania had come to England.
Fortress of Blood (Mina Murray Book 2) Page 14