by Madikizela-Mandela, Winnie; Kathrada, Ahmed; Kathrada, Ahmed
[Signed] J. Carlson
LETTER TO JOEL CARLSON
FROM THE COMMANDING OFFICER OF ROBBEN ISLAND
11th June 69
Dear Sir,
Re: LETTER TO PRISONER MANDELA.
In acknowledging receipt of your letter of the 5th instant, I have to inform you that your letter of the 16th ultimo addressed to the above-named, was received at this office on the 19th of May and transmitted to my head office on the same date.
Any further correspondence in regard to the matter should be address to the Commissioner of Prisons, Private Bag 136, Pretoria for attention Brigadier Aucamp.
Yours faithfully,
J.J. VAN AARDE
COMMANDING OFFICER
LETTER FROM NELSON MANDELA
TO WINNIE MANDELA
23.6.69
My Darling,
One of my precious possessions here is the first letter you wrote me on Dec 20, 1962 shortly after my first conviction. During the last 6½ years I have read it over and over again and the sentiments it expresses are as golden and fresh now as they were the day I received it. With the aspirations and views that you hold and the role you are playing in the current battle of ideas, I have always known that you would be arrested sooner or later. But considering all that I have gone through, I had somehow vaguely hoped that such a calamity would be deferred and that you would be spared the misfortune and misery of prison life. Accordingly when the news of your arrest reached me on May 17, in the midst of feverish preparations for my finals105 then only 25 days away, I was quite unprepared and felt cold and lonely. That you were free and able within limits to move about meant much to me. I looked forward to all your visits and to those of members of the family and friends which you organised with your characteristic ability and enthusiasm, to the lovely birthday, wedding anniversary and Xmas cards which you never failed to send, and to the funds which in spite of difficulties you managed to raise. What made the disaster even more shattering was the fact that you had last visited me on Dec 21 and I was actually expecting you to come down last month or in June. I was also awaiting your reply to my letter of April 2 in which I discussed your illness and made suggestions.
For some time after receiving the news my faculties seemed to have ceased functioning and I turned almost instinctively to your letter as I have always done in the past whenever my resolution flagged or whenever I wanted to take away my mind from nagging problems:
Most people do not realise that your physical presence would have meant nothing to me if the ideals for which you have dedicated your life have not been realised. I find living in hope the most wonderful thing. Our short lives together, my love, have always been full of expectation . . . In these hectic and violent years I have grown to love you more than I ever did before . . . Nothing can be as valuable as being part and parcel of the formation of the history of a country.
These are some of the gems this marvellous letter contains and after going through it on May 17 I felt once more on top of the world. Disasters will always come and go, leaving their victims either completely broken or steeled and seasoned and better able to face the next crop of challenges that may occur. It is precisely at the present moment that you should remember that hope is a powerful weapon and one no power on earth can deprive you of; and that nothing can be as valuable as being part and parcel of the history of a country. Permanent values in social life and thought cannot be created by people who are indifferent or hostile to the true aspirations of a nation. For one thing, those who have no soul, no sense of national pride and no ideals to win can suffer neither humiliation nor defeat; they can evolve no national heritage, are inspired by no sacred mission and can produce no martyrs or national heroes. A new world will be won not by those who stand at a distance with their arms folded, but by those who are in the arena, whose garments are torn by storms and whose bodies are maimed in the course of contest. Honour belongs to those who never forsake the truth even when things seem dark and grim who try over and over again, who are never discouraged by insults, humiliation and even defeat. Since the dawn of history, mankind has honoured and respected brave and honest people, men and women like you darling – an ordinary girl who hails from a country village hardly shown in most maps, wife of a kraal which is the humblest even by peasant standards.
My sense of devotion to you precludes me from saying more in public than I have already done in this note which must pass through many hands. One day we will have the privacy which will enable us to share the tender thoughts which we have kept buried in our hearts during the past eight years.
In due course you will be charged and probably convicted. I suggest that you discuss matters with Niki106 immediately you are charged and make the necessary arrangements for funds for purposes of study, toilet, Xmas groceries and other personal expenses. You must also arrange for her to send you as soon as you are convicted photos with suitable leather picture frames. From experience I have found that a family photo is everything in prison and you must have it right from the beginning. From this side you will have all my monthly letters, darling. I have written a long letter to Zeni and Zindzi107 care of Niki explaining the position in an attempt to keep them informed and cheerful. I only hope they received my earlier letter of Feb. 4. Last month I wrote to Mummy108 at Bizana and to Sidumo. This month I will write to Telli and to Uncle Marsh. I have heard neither from Kgatho, Maki, Wonga, Sef,109 Gibson,110 Lily, Mthetho and Amina111 to whom I wrote between Dec. and April.
It has been possible to write this letter by kind permission of Brig. Aucamp and I am sure he will be anxious to help you should you desire to reply to this letter whilst you are still under detention. If you succeed please confirm whether you received my April letter. Meanwhile I should like you to know that I am thinking of you every moment of the day. Good luck, my darling. A million kisses and tons and tons of love.
Devotedly,
Dalibunga112
LETTER FROM NELSON MANDELA
TO HIS DAUGHTERS ZENANI AND ZINDZI MANDELA
23.6.69
My Darlings,
Once again our beloved Mummy has been arrested and now she and Daddy are away in jail. My heart bleeds as I think of her sitting in some police cell far away from home, perhaps alone and without anybody to talk to, and with nothing to read. Twenty four hours of the day longing for her little ones. It may be many months or even years before you see her again. For long you may live like orphans without your own home and parents, without the natural love, affection and protection Mummy used to give you. Now you will get no birthday or Christmas parties, no presents or new dresses, no shoes or toys. Gone are the days when, after having a warm bath in the evening, you would sit at table with Mummy and enjoy her good and simple food. Gone are the comfortable beds, the warm blankets and clean linen she used to provide. She will not be there to arrange for friends to take you to bioscopes, concerts and plays, or to tell you nice stories in the evening, help you read difficult books and to answer the many questions you would like to ask. She will be unable to give you the help and guidance you need as you grow older and as new problems arise. Perhaps never again will Mummy and Daddy join you in House no. 8115 Orlando West,113 the one place in the whole world that is so dear to our hearts.
This is not the first time Mummy goes to jail. In October 1958, only four months after our wedding, she was arrested with 2000 other women when they protested against passes in Johannesburg and spent two weeks in jail. Last year she served four days, but now she has gone back again and I cannot tell you how long she will be away this time. All that I wish you always to bear in mind is that we have a brave and determined Mummy who loves her people with all her heart. She gave up pleasure and comfort for a life full of hardship and misery because of the deep love she has for her people and country. When you become adults and think carefully of the unpleasant experiences Mummy has gone through, and the stubbornness with which she has held to her beliefs, you will begin to realise the importance of her contribution in the battle for truth
and justice and to the extent to which she has sacrificed her own personal interests and happiness.
Mummy comes from a rich and respected family. She is a qualified Social Worker and at the time of our marriage in June 1958 she had a good and comfortable job at the Baragwanath Hospital. She was working there when she was arrested for the first time and at the end of 1958 she lost that job. Later she worked for the Child Welfare Society in town, a post she liked very much. It was whilst working there that the Government ordered her not to leave Johannesburg, to remain at home from 6pm to 6am, and not to attend meetings, nor enter any hospital, school, university, courtroom, compound or hostel, or any African township save Orlando where she lived.114 This order made it difficult for her to continue with her work at the Child Welfare Society and she lost this particular job as well.
Since then Mummy has lived a painful life and had to try to run a home without a fixed income. Yet she somehow managed to buy you food and clothing, pay your school fees, rent for the house and to send me money regularly.
I left home in April 1961 when Zeni was two years and Zindzi three months. Early in January 1962 I toured Africa and visited London for ten days, and returned to South Africa towards the end of July the same year. I was terribly shaken when I met Mummy. I had left her in good health with a lot of flesh and colour. But she had suddenly lost weight and was now a shadow of her former self. I realised at once the strain my absence had caused her. I look forward to some time when I would be able to tell her about my journey, the countries I visited and the people I met. But my arrest on August 5 put an end to that dream.
When Mummy was arrested in 1958 I visited her daily and brought her food and fruits. I felt proud of her especially because the decision to join the other women in demonstrating against the passes was taken by her freely [and] without any suggestion from me. But her attitude to my own arrest made me know Mummy better and more fully. Immediately I was arrested our friends here and abroad offered her scholarships and suggested that she leave the country to study overseas. I welcomed these suggestions as I felt that studies would keep her mind away from her troubles. I discussed the matter with her when she visited me in Pretoria Jail in October 1962. She told me that although she would most probably be arrested and sent to jail, as every politician fighting for freedom must expect, she would nevertheless remain in the country and suffer with her people. Do you see now what a brave Mummy we have?
Do not worry, my darlings, we have a lot of friends; they will look after you, and one day Mummy and Daddy will return and you will no longer be orphans without a home. Then we will also live peacefully and happily as all normal families do. In the meantime you must study hard and pass your examinations, and behave like good girls. Mummy and I will write to you many letters. I hope you got the Christmas card I sent you in December and the letter I wrote both of you on February 4 this year.
With lots of love and a million kisses.
Yours affectionately,
Daddy
LETTER FROM NELSON MANDELA
TO HIS SISTER-IN-LAW NIKI IRIS XABA
15.7.69
My dear Niki,
I had originally planned to write this letter to Uncle Marsh. But I consider you mother to Zami and not just her eldest sister, and when I received the news of the detention of Nyanya,115 in addition to that of Zami,116 I realised just how much the whole affair must have disturbed you. In the circumstances I decided to send the letter to you instead.
In the letter I wrote to Ma at Bizana on May 4, I told her I spent a lot of time thinking of Zami, the painful experiences she was having and the numerous problems that face her as a result of my absence. I pointed out that my confidence and regard for her had risen considerably, and that my only hope was that one day I might be able to give her the peace, comfort and happiness that would compensate for her dreadful hardships. Little did I know at the time that only 8 days thereafter Zami would be back in jail. Her arrest is a real disaster for the family and I must confess that I am very concerned. She is unwell and prison might worsen her condition. When I was arrested I had the fortune that she was outside and free. Before I was convicted she saw me on every visiting day without exception, brought me delicious provisions and clean clothes, and wrote me sweet and charming letters, and never missed a single day of my 2 trials to which she brought many friends and relatives, including my mother. I will never forget the day of sentence in the Rivonia Case for, besides the immense crowds of supporters and well-wishers that turned up, there sat behind us Zami, Ma, Nali117 and Nyanya. It was a rare moment which comes seldom in a man’s career and it deepened my love and respect for Zami and drew me closer to my relatives – to Ma, Nali, Nyanya and to all of you. During my 5 years on this island Zami has visited me no less than 9 times and organised 10 other visits which brought me into contact with relations and friends I much value and respect. Even when difficulties on her side were growing, when she was without a job and her health was giving trouble, she thought first and foremost of me and my happiness and never failed to send me funds, wonderful letters, birthday and wedding anniversary cards. All these things have meant much to me. One has to be a prisoner to appreciate fully the true value of many things we take much for granted in life outside prison. During the nearly 7 years of my imprisonment Zami has been truly at my side. Now it is her turn and she needs all my love and affection, all my sympathy and help, and yet I can do absolutely nothing for her. She can look forward to no visit from me that would bring some welcome change from the depressing routine to which she is now subjected, tasty provisions that would suit her indifferent health, no warm and affectionate letters that would bring back happy memories. If she should ultimately be charged, it will not be possible for me to show solidarity through physical presence, and none of the countless things she did for me as prisoner shall I be able to do for her.
The tender faces of small children, distorted by fear and drowsiness, seeing their dear mother escorted away in the dead of night, and unable to understand the issues involved is a memory that could haunt the most fearless mother. Add to this picture the fact that for years her children may live like orphans and that she may be completely deprived of the opportunity of giving her children the help and guidance which they would need in the most critical years of their lives. I know Zami is devoted to the children and if there is one thing that would do further harm to her health it is the uncertainty and insecurity that now threatens them.
These are the reasons why I regard her arrest as a family disaster, Niki. I am not in a position to make any predictions as to how she will face up to the situation and I shall certainly not risk any prophecy. But her record up to now has shown her as a woman of great courage who has stuck to her principles in spite of severe trials.
My only hope is that she will find it possible to survive even this one in spite of her indifferent health. I am equally proud of Nyanya and have grown to love her much more than I ever did in the past. I sometimes think that if I were at home these last 8 years she would have made good progress both in her studies and ideas in life. In my last letter to Bawo I expressed my concern over the fact that she was idling at home and suggested that she should at least be given some vocational training. I hope she will also benefit from this experience.
At the time of writing to Ma I was actually expecting a visit from Zami as I had last seen her in December and I had had no visit since then. Our friend Radebe (Mgulwa)118 was due to visit me in February but for reasons unknown to me he did not come. I had looked forward to that visit because it offered me the only opportunity of hearing something about Zami and the kids as apparently none of the letters I have written monthly since December last has reached its destination.
On June 28 another good friend, Moosa Dinath,119 who was coming down from Johannesburg for the express purpose of discussing family problems caused by Zami’s detention, also failed to turn up and again the prison authorities were unable to give me an explanation for this mysterious behaviour on the par
t of my visitors. I now know that before May 12 Zami had applied for a visiting permit for Kgatho120 for May 24. The authorities never even told me of this particular visit. The result is that I have been completely cut off from my family and friends at a time when such contact has been absolutely essential. On June 23 I wrote Zeni and Zindzi a long letter which I sent to Brig. Aucamp of the Headquarters, Pretoria, and asked him to forward it to you. I hope at least this one has reached you. In December I wrote to Nali, February to Zeni, Zindzi, Marsh, to my nephew Gibson121 and to Lilian.122 All these letters were addressed to 8115 Orlando West. The fact that I received no acknowledgement compels me to infer that the letters were not received and perhaps Uncle Marsh will make the investigations and let you know. I have also written to Tellie requesting her to find out about the letters to Kgatho and Maki in January and February. I was sorry to hear that you were involved in a car accident in which you fractured a leg. I hope you are recovering and am anxious to get some details in your next letter. How are the children getting on and what are their names? How old are they? How many children has Bantu? Love and fondest regards to Marsh, Bantu and hubby, Tellie, Mfundo, etc.
Sincerely,
Nel
LETTER FROM NELSON MANDELA
TO HIS SISTER-IN-LAW TELLIE MTIRARA
15.7.69
My dear Nkosazana,
There is hardly a single person I know who welcomes problems. This is understandable since problems often interfere with one’s plans, pleasure and happiness. Worse still, they may bring a lot of hardship and suffering. The detention of Nobandla123 has really disturbed me precisely because it carries just these dangers. She may be kept in jail for years without trial. If she is at last charged she may be given a heavy sentence. In either case this would mean many years of forced separation from the children, relations and friends, many years of toiling and sweating and the denial to her of the privileges of a free person. This is a heavy price to pay. But though always painful and unpleasant, problems may have the advantage of reminding one of those trustworthy and devoted members of the family to whom one instinctively turns when hard times come. Ever since I saw you in court during the Rivonia Case, and especially after you accompanied Nobandla to Cape Town in Aug, ’64,124 it has been my intention to write and thank you for the ready and unfailing assistance that you have given at home. But the very fact that you are a member of the family induced me to take it for granted that you will always know that I have the highest regard for you and that I am fully conscious of the important role you are playing at home in my absence. This in turn gave me the excuse of postponing writing to you until I had attended to what appeared to be the more urgent cases. But Nobandla’s arrest has now cut me off from home, my friends and relatives and now I must rely on you and Niki. The two of you will have to arrange my visits as well as those of Nobandla when she becomes entitled to them.