“Gyah!”
Subaru rubbed his still-smarting nose and shot an objecting glare at Wilhelm. His sword-fighting tutor responded by thrusting his wooden weapon straight down into the grass. Subaru’s breath caught in his throat under the calm gaze.
“Adopting a position to break your fall and prepare for whatever might come next is the first meaningful progress you have made. But more important, I refuse to accept the premise of teaching you to fight in a manner that assumes defeat from the very beginning.”
“Uhh…”
“If I may, before teaching you how to swing a sword and techniques to break a fall, I shall tell you how to prepare in a more fundamental manner.”
As Subaru grunted, showing Wilhelm had hit the mark, the tutor raised a finger.
“—If you have decided to fight, fight with all your body and soul. Forget all pretty words that lead to defeat. Hunger and thirst for victory using any means necessary. If you can still stand, if you can still move a single finger, if your fangs have not yet been broken, stand. Stand. Get up, get up, and attack. So long as you live, fight. Fight, fight, fight!”
“”
“That is what it means to do battle.”
Wilhelm’s visible pause lifted the tense air that had come to dominate the courtyard. Only then did Subaru realize just how loudly his own heart had been beating. At the same time, each deafening throb drove home the fact that he was alive.
—Living had never felt better.
The feelings that had made him welcome the prospect of death until mere moments before had suddenly flown away.
The instant Wilhelm began to speak of preparing for battle, the air around him completely changed. He might have looked like a mild-mannered gentleman, but Subaru felt a sword-wielding demon within him. Perhaps that was the true nature behind the old man named Wilhelm.
The one who wielded such strength that he was employed as the personal sword instructor of Crusch Karsten, favorite to win the royal election—the aged swordsman, Wilhelm Trias.
“So fight to win, even if you know…you’re gonna lose… It’s a little inconsistent, but I understand what you mean. It’s not logic; it’s a matter of emotion. Then…”
Subaru, still in awe of the elderly man, felt the fighting spirit in him rekindled as he replied.
I can handle this, said his stubbornness.
He couldn’t let that breakthrough to his doubts, that ray of hope come apart in such a short time.
The feelings of Subaru Natsuki were not that cheap. He couldn’t let them be.
“—If I can do that, can I get a little stronger?”
“That is a different matter. The desire to be stronger and actually doing so are separate matters altogether.”
“So now you deny me?! Don’t you think saying yes would make for a more beautiful tale?!”
“…I have learned the cruelty of lies through bitter experience. I could not forgive myself for telling one.”
Subaru did not notice how the other man’s eyes momentarily fell as he spoke.
“I believe sometimes the truth is crueler than a lie, just so you know…”
Subaru felt like Wilhelm was dodging the question, so he re-gripped his wooden sword and abruptly murmured, “Do you see any sword talent inside me?”
“From where I stand, unfortunately, you have none. Your aptitude for the blade goes no further than the common man’s—the same place as mine.”
The strained, self-deprecating smile that came over Wilhelm made Subaru raise an eyebrow in surprise.
“That’s pretty humble coming from you, saying you have no talent with a sword.”
“It is the truth. I have no gift for it. If I did, I surely would not have had to wield one nearly as much. Therefore, it is possible for you to arrive at the same level as I.”
“…Incidentally, how long would I have to work at it?”
“Nothing so great. You would only need to devote half your natural life to it.”
“Only, he says.”
It was often said that continually striving to improve was true talent. In actuality, even with Wilhelm telling him that he could arrive at the same level, Subaru couldn’t fathom the drive to devote as much time to the sword as the old man, or a reason to do so.
In the first place, the reason Subaru had Wilhelm teach him like this was—
“I thought, like, pouring myself into the sword without worldly thoughts might let me find enlightenment for the first time…”
“I wonder now. Whatever you might grasp will not make you suddenly stronger, after all, and I do not think a clear mind or lack thereof determines who will win and who will fall in the end.”
Wilhelm drily conveyed his opinion. “Besides,” he continued, “if I must say so, I have rarely wielded my blade with a clear mind. Particularly when I first began, I had very few thoughts about the way of the sword.”
“So what did you think of?”
“My wife, and my wife alone.”
“Sheesh, Wilhelm! Sometimes you really go on about that wife of yours.”
Subaru remembered how he had spoken of his beloved wife when they had first met, but Wilhelm had also praised his bride to high heaven during Subaru’s stay at the mansion. It must have been a harmonious marriage.
Seeing Subaru break out in a strained smile at the latest episode of this behavior, Wilhelm rubbed his chin.
“Someday, you will reach a point where such preparedness is necessary to become stronger. Well, it’s nothing you need to worry about at present, Sir Subaru.”
“What do you mean?”
Subaru tilted his head slightly. Wilhelm shook his head a tiny bit at the gesture.
“I simply mean that there is little point in lecturing someone about what it takes to become stronger when he has already abandoned the choice to do so.”
“—”
For a moment, Subaru’s face froze over, unable to comprehend what he was being told. However, the breakdown was momentary. He immediately shrugged, as if dismissing it as a joke.
“Hey now, what are you saying all of a sudden, Wilhelm? I’m as surprised as a burglar who gets stopped before he actually steals anything. I’ve done what now?”
“If you are aware of it yourself, it would be inelegant to speak further of it. I have said what I wished to say. It would have been difficult to tell you had I let this opportunity slip by.”
Wilhelm, speaking as if he understood everything, left no room for Subaru to pursue the matter.
Unease smoldered in Subaru’s chest. Wilhelm’s words had left him with an undeniable sense of nervousness. And Wilhelm could tell exactly what that feeling meant.
Instantly, that truth tore unbearably and mercilessly at the boy’s heart.
Subaru, sweating in the throes of a phantom chill, raised his head when Wilhelm looked toward the mansion and spoke.
“Sir Subaru. It seems that this morning’s practice is at an end.”
“—Ah?”
When Subaru followed his gaze, he noticed a small silhouette racing into the courtyard—Rem.
Normally, she was not one to show emotion on her face, but he could see a sense of quiet tension on her as she ran.
Had something…happened?
For Subaru, at that moment in time, it was fortuitous salvation, a golden opportunity to forget his conversation with Wilhelm. He looked at Rem’s haste and agitation with relief.
Or maybe that was because Subaru had suspected where things had been headed.
“Subaru— We need to talk.”
When Rem stood right before him, her serious expression made his heart tremble.
—But Subaru would never speak to another about the anticipation he felt in that moment.
2
Lady Crusch, waiting in the reception room, gave a knowing nod as she saw Subaru approach.
“It would appear that you have already heard.”
Crusch and Ferris were together in the reception room, waiting for Subaru
and Rem as master and vassal. Subaru, last to enter the room, couldn’t deny he felt late to the party as he shook his head a little.
“I haven’t heard the details yet. Seems like Rem only has a vague idea, too.”
When Subaru’s eyes shifted to indicate Rem beside him, she dipped her head with a tense expression and said, “What I have felt is only a result of the consciousness I share with Sister. Sister’s clairvoyance would be able to gather more details about the situation, but…”
Rem lowered her eyes as her words trailed off, looking dismayed at her own powerlessness.
Rem’s reply caused Crusch to exhale in apparent admiration.
“Shared consciousness—I have heard of this, that close relations from a select few humanoid species, such as twins and blood relatives, can understand each other’s thoughts without requiring words… And you can do this from the royal capital to a place as far removed as the Mathers dominion?”
“As already stated, it is a vague thing. Powerful emotions and words that one wishes to convey very strongly can be related. However…”
As Crusch sat, Ferris adopted a casual posture behind her, his kitty ears quivering.
“From how mew put that, mew must have felt something pretty unsettling over that telepathy, right?”
Subaru, put off by Ferris’s demeanor, shifted to stand in front of Rem.
“Don’t keep us in suspense here. If you know anything about this, say something. Don’t just leave Rem twisting in the wind like that. Spill the beans already.”
“Ooh, mew don’t like me now? Besides, intelligence doesn’t come for free. You’re just a patient and a guest, Subawu. Why should we tell you anything?”
“You…!”
Properly speaking, Ferris was right. Even if he was a guest on the surface, Subaru’s position was that of a patient and an outsider. He could insist it concerned him all he liked, but since he was part of a political faction, only a fool would toss him a bone just because he’d begged for it.
But as Subaru cursed his own shallowness, it was Crusch who rebuked Ferris.
“Ferris. Do not be unkind. There is no reason for you to play the villain here. All toying with Subaru Natsuki will earn you is an angry glare from Rem.”
“Fiiiine.”
Crusch, still seated alone on the sofa, motioned for Subaru to sit in the chair opposite her.
“Self-reflection leads to personal progress. But that depends on the time and situation. I would like to prioritize trading opinions here and now. How about it?”
“…Sure thing. Hate to take a free ride, but I really want to hear what you have to say.”
Subaru accepted her offer and sat with Rem standing at his side.
Crusch began.
“In the Mathers dominion—that is, in the fiefdom of Marquis Roswaal—dangerous activities have apparently been reported around his manor. Part of the domain has already been placed under lockdown at the marquis’s command.”
Subaru’s brows rose at the unsettling language.
“Dangerous activities? Lockdown?”
The fact Rem’s telepathic connection had been triggered had prepared him for bad news, but even hearing the details made unease churn within him.
“We do not actually know what is occurring within the Mathers dominion. But I can hazard a guess, given that the marquis’s support for Emilia—in other words, a half-elf—as a royal candidate has come to light.”
“What, you mean the serfs are on stri— They’re complaining left and right?”
When Subaru voiced the first misgivings that came to mind, Crusch easily agreed with them.
“That is quite possible, of course. The infamy of the Witch of Jealousy makes prejudice against half-elves a battle she cannot avoid.”
Once again, Subaru couldn’t allow the circumstances of her birth to be her shackles. He was growing to hate the faceless mob that talked trash about Emilia without knowing anything about her as a person.
“Your rage is surely misplaced. She chose this path, knowing what she would face.”
“Misplaced? You mean me or those people? …So what, they’re kicking up trouble in Roswaal’s fiefdom for a stupid reason like that? Are these little brush fires that’ll burn out, or is it going to turn into a massive firestorm?”
“Setting aside whether the reasons are petty or not, the summary is sound. This also explains Rem’s telepathic reaction.” Crusch turned to Rem as she spoke, drawing all eyes to the previously silent girl.
“The feelings I am picking up from Sister are partly unease and largely…anger. I believe she did not mean to convey these things but did so subconsciously.”
“Do these shared sensations between you occur with great frequency?”
“No, it is quite rare. We are always controlling our thoughts to a certain extent. I believe that in this case, Sister transferred these things to me in spite of self-restraint.”
When Rem reached the latter half of her explanation, she could not conceal the anxiety coloring her words. It was not an exaggeration to say that Ram had the most mental strength of anyone at Roswaal Manor. A crisis that could shake even her restraint was clearly no small matter.
And yet, beyond what Ram had let slip telepathically, she had made no effort to call for Rem’s aid.
Subaru murmured to himself alone as his conclusion burned him up inside.
“It’s like she’s…trying to keep us from getting involved…”
The only explanation he could come up with was that Ram had told Rem of the danger over their mutual link without calling her sister back, because she intended to convey that information to Rem…and avoid letting Subaru know.
—Did she want to keep Subaru out of her problems to that extent?
“But she’s in trouble, isn’t she…?”
The situation was bad enough that it had reached Crusch’s ears, there camped in the capital.
As was typical, there were few that Emilia could count on, and she had enemies numbering beyond reason. In such circumstances, who would take her side without some kind of ulterior motive?
The answer was no one. After all, there was nobody currently at her side who would be her staunch ally.
She had left behind the one who would have.
No doubt, when Emilia realized that, she would regret what she had done. That was why—
Subaru lifted his head and murmured with determination, “I’ve…got to go save her, don’t I?”
This time, all gazes fell upon him. Crusch raised one eyebrow, and Ferris softly closed his teasing lips. Then Rem tugged on Subaru’s sleeve with a nervous look.
“N-no, Subaru, you mustn’t…!”
The anxiety and mournful pleading in Rem’s eyes startled him.
She continued, “You must do as Lady Emilia and Master Roswaal have told you and concentrate on your own treatment. I, personally, agree with them. You must focus on healing your body for the time be—”
“If I do that, stuff will happen that can never be undone. Rem, it’s like that time back when we talked before going into the demon beast forest. We’ve…got to do something.”
“…!”
Rem’s expression stiffened in pain at Subaru’s words.
They had spoken like this in the past, just before entering the demon beast forest to rescue the abducted children. Subaru had said the same things to Rem when she’d tried to stop him.
Those actions had consequences. As a result of his decision, the children had been rescued safe and sound. That was why Rem knew very well what was behind Subaru’s resolve now.
Keeping Rem at bay as she clung to him, he shifted to look straight at Crusch, seated before him.
“It’s as you heard, Crusch. Rem and I will go back to the ma… To where Emilia is. Until things are settled, I’ll have to put off the treatm—”
Subaru was delivering his verdict as a member of his political camp when Crusch curtly interrupted him by calling out his name.
“Subaru Nat
suki.”
Subaru’s breath caught under Crusch’s penetrating gaze. His heart beat much harder; he had the sinking feeling that he’d forgotten who he was dealing with. Then she coldly stated…
“—If you leave this place, it means that you have become my enemy.”
Subaru felt those words as keenly as a blade slicing into his flesh.
Then, when the meaning began to dawn on him, like a laceration just beginning to ache…
“Wh-what do you mean by…?”
“Let me correct your misunderstanding. My treatment of you as a guest and Ferris’s healing you is the result of a contract.”
“Contract…?”
“Yes, a contract for your care between Emilia and me. My house has received collateral in exchange for treating you as a guest. However…”
As her words trailed off, Crusch put a hand to her chest to indicate herself.
“The circumstances before the royal selection, when the contract was formed, and now are different. Now that we are publicly political enemies, I must take great care in any negotiation with Emilia’s camp. It is the same for the contract governing your treatment. If there is any violation of its terms, I have no obligation to uphold an agreement formed before the commencement of the royal selection now that it has begun in earnest.”
To Subaru’s ears, the word contract that she kept repeating sounded like promise. It sat very poorly in his chest, mingling with his memories of parting ways with Emilia.
Crusch pressed on.
“In these circumstances, your departing from my residence would be a violation, a unilateral abridging of the contract midway. After all, though there is no enmity attached, Emilia and I are enemies.”
Subaru’s mind couldn’t catch up with Crusch’s blunt declaration of war.
He understood that the duchess and her people were “enemies” on paper. He’d barely finished saying to Rem that he was sorry for leaving himself defenseless in the manor and would adopt the right mindset going forward. And yet, Subaru had yet to fully grasp what that meant.
Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-, Vol. 5 Page 7