“And we’ll be just inside the office,” Amy said.
Finally his daughter nodded and took Teri’s hand. Mark followed Amy to a small room with pine paneling where a window looked out onto the hallway and allowed him to keep an eye on Lizzy. On the wall, a grouping of diplomas caught his eye. He’d always known Amy was smart, but a PhD? She was only thirty-two—same as him. “Congratulations,” he said, nodding toward the wall.
She followed his gaze. “Oh. Thanks. Would you like to sit on the sofa or at the table?”
“The table.” He sat in one of the straight back chairs while Amy grabbed a notepad. “Who is Tom Smith?”
Her cheeks reddened. “Um, no one important.” She eased into the chair opposite him. “I didn’t know you had a child.”
“Me, either. Not until about a year ago.” He’d never forget the shock of receiving the letter from his ex-wife's parents, demanding child support for a child he didn’t know existed. They’d never liked him, though. “Rachel and I had a whirlwind courtship, got married and divorced within a year. She never told me she was pregnant, and after I signed the papers, I never saw her again. A year ago, she died in an auto accident. Lizzy was with her and hasn’t talked since.”
“I’m sorry. That must have been hard for both of you.”
“It was. Rachel’s parents fought me for custody. She was their only child and Lizzy is their only grandchild. They were surprised I even wanted her since I’d made no attempt to be part of her life. They didn’t know Rachel had never told me and just assumed I didn’t want to be bothered with a child. Otherwise, I’m sure they wouldn’t have sent me a registered letter asking for child support. If I’d known about Lizzy, I would have been in her life.”
She squeezed his hand. “You are now.”
Her touch warmed his skin just like it had twelve years ago—before their breakup and she met and married Kevin. He realized she was waiting for him to say something, and he tried to remember what they were talking about. Being in Lizzy’s life. “I’ll always be in her life now. They’re very angry that I’ve moved back to Maine with Lizzy.”
Amy took out a notepad and made a few notes. “How long has Lizzy been with you?”
“Four months.”
She paused with her pen over the pad. “Why didn’t you ever see her mother again?”
“I tried. But she changed her phone number and moved back home with her parents. I finally decided if she didn’t want to see me, fine.”
“Why was she so angry with you?”
He rubbed his forehead, remembering her accusations. “She believed I cheated on our marriage.” He shook his head. “Between working at my day job and being on the road on weekends with the band, I don’t know when I had time.”
Amy seemed surprised. “An affair doesn’t sound like you. Being gone all the time, yeah.”
“I didn’t have an affair. But one night, Rachel came to where we were playing and saw the groupies waiting after the performance. She got it into her head that’s what I was doing when we were on the road.” Some of the other band members had fallen for their attention, but he hadn’t. One-night stands weren’t the kind of relationships he wanted. “You know I didn’t do that.”
Amy pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, then she nodded. “Yeah, I know. The band was the only mistress you had when we were dating.”
He wanted to tell her she was wrong, but he couldn’t. Until Lizzy, music had come first in his life, over Amy, then Rachel. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you first found out about your dad’s cancer.”
Her mouth twitched and she looked down at her notepad. “I don’t know how we got off on that subject. Let’s get back to Lizzy. Do you know if she has ever spoken?”
He nodded. “The grandparents showed videos in court of her talking before the accident.”
“Did she talk around them after the accident?”
“No. They had to admit that had not happened.”
“I assume you’ve discussed Lizzy’s condition with her doctors,” Amy said.
“Yes.” Mark crossed his arms over his chest. He knew more than he’d ever wanted to know about the disorder. “It’s caused by anxiety. Her diagnosis is actually posttraumatic selective mutism. One doctor indicated it was her way of coping with her mom’s death—it was something in her life she could control—but on a subconscious level. He also thought that in time she’d speak on her own, but I don’t know. I want to do everything I can to help her.”
Amy rubbed her jaw with her thumb as she looked over her notes. His heart sank when she looked up. She was going to say no. He read it in her face, in the stiffening of her shoulders. She glanced toward the window, then, with an intake of breath turned to face him.
Mark had to make her understand how important this was. He caught her gaze and held it, imploring her to help them. Something shifted in her face, and her shoulders relaxed.
“All right,” she said with a sigh. “I’ll evaluate Lizzy. Can you bring her back tomorrow morning? And fax any reports you have from her doctors.”
She was going to do it? He didn’t know why she changed her mind, but he’d take it. “We’ll be here. Do you think you can help her?”
“We’ll see tomorrow.” She gave him a tentative smile. “I’ve had success in the past with this disorder.”
“Thank you.” For the first time since he learned he had a daughter who wouldn’t speak, hope thrummed in his heart. He stood and walked to the window, and Amy joined him. Oblivious to them, Lizzy brushed the pony’s tail, then moved to her mane, reaching on tiptoes to brush it. Teri set a step stool for her to stand on, and soon Lizzy was brushing with ease.
Mark’s phone dinged with a text. His mother, wanting to know what time they would be home. “I better grab Lizzy,” he said. “Mom is bringing over dinner. We’ll see you in the morning.”
“I want you to check out hippotherapy on the web before you return. If I treat Lizzy, it’s something I’ll want to use.”
“Sure.” Although he had no idea how a hippopotamus could be involved in her treatment.
Chapter 3
Amy half-waved as Mark and Lizzy pulled away from the barn. What had she just done? The question swept over, chilling her more than the north wind whipping around the corner of the barn.
She couldn’t believe she’d just offered to evaluate Lizzy and all but promised to treat the girl. Not when the Houston job started in a month. She should have stuck to her guns and sent Lizzy and Mark to another therapy clinic. But when she’d looked into Mark’s brown eyes that practically begged her to help him, she couldn’t send him to another clinic. Not when she was the only therapist in the area even familiar with selective mutism.
Except in that case, the child had a physical problem that caused the anxiety, and Amy had something specific to work with. She hurried back to her office and stomped the snow off her boots.
If there was no physical cause, as she suspected, maybe Lizzy’s case wouldn’t be that difficult, and she’d be talking by Christmas. Then Amy could turn her over to Teri for follow up. She sighed. That was a best-case scenario, and everyone knew those rarely happened.
At least with Lizzy as a client, she’d be able to keep Mark and those brown eyes at a distance. Maybe. Right now it was even hard to recall why they’d broken up. Oh, yeah--there really hadn’t been a choice. Mark had been married to the band. She still couldn’t believe he’d given it up.
Amy shook thoughts of Mark from her mind and pulled out the notes on her last selective mutism patient. She wanted to refresh her memory before she worked on the assessment for Lizzy in the morning.
Her door opened and Teri popped her head inside. “You busy?”
“Not too. What did you do about Mr. Smith?”
“I called him and explained there was a mistake.”
“Good. Anything else?”
Teri stepped inside and plopped in the chair beside her desk. “No. Just thinking about Lizzy. She’s a swee
t kid. And her daddy is smokin’.” She fanned her face.
Yeah, Mark Bradford was just as good looking as twelve years ago, maybe even more so.
“Did you ever date him?”
“All through high school, then in college we broke up, and I met Kevin.”
“Too bad. Your ex-husband is a jerk.”
“We had some good years.” Almost without thinking, Amy rubbed her stomach. The ache of losing their child never quite went away. “And he wanted a son to play ball with and I couldn’t give him that.”
“I still say he was a jerk, and I think some people hide what’s inside them really well until things get tough. You’re lucky to be rid of him.”
Teri was a loyal friend. “Did Ginger seem okay today?”
“You noticed? I don’t think she’ll make her January due date.”
“I’ll call the vet to check her out tomorrow, but in the meantime, let’s not use her for therapy the rest of the week.” Except Lizzy had connected with the horse, so Amy might use Ginger with Mark’s daughter, but only her.
Uh oh, she was already thinking of Lizzy as a client.
Teri drummed her fingers on the chair.
“Something bothering you?”
“I wish you wouldn’t take that job in Texas, and I’m not the only one.”
Teri’s outburst hung in the air. Amy straightened the papers she’d been studying. “We’ve been over this before. Teaching at the university in Houston and working at the clinic with Dr. Topliff is an opportunity I can’t pass up.”
“I don’t understand what you think you’ll learn from him. You’re already one of the best language and speech pathologist around here. And if you want to teach, what’s wrong with Bowdoin?”
“I want to learn his hippotherapy techniques. He’s had amazing results with his patients.” At least if Amy couldn’t have children, she could help those most in need.
“Then take his workshops. I’ve looked at the website, and he conducts clinics every quarter. Why do you have to move to Texas?”
“Because in Texas I won’t see Kevin and Jennifer’s little boy every time I turn around.” She clapped her hand over her mouth, but it was too late. The pain she was so good at hiding lay exposed between them.
The color fled from Teri’s face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize…“
“I know. Just forget I said it.” Amy propped her elbows on the desk and pressed her fingertips against her closed eyes. Ruptured fallopian tube, losing the baby, then learning she’d probably never have a child…all of it together had put too big a strain on their marriage. It crumbled within a year of the failed pregnancy.
Now every time she saw Kevin’s little boy, she was reminded of what she’d never have.
~*~
“Did you like Ginger?” Mark asked as he piled a plate with spaghetti that his mom had brought over. Lizzy nodded, her blue eyes lighting up. He’d learned early on to ask yes or no questions. Otherwise, the only answer he received was a shrug.
“Maybe you’ll see her tomorrow when we go back.” He was also accustomed to carrying the conversation. “Would you like that?”
Again she nodded. The only time he’d ever heard her utter anything was when she had the bad dreams and called for her mother.
He continued talking to her, telling her about the school when he’d been a boy and his teachers, but the spark Ginger had put in her face was gone. He’d give anything to know what went on in her mind. After they finished eating, he asked, “Would you like to help me do the dishes?”
Instead of answering, she dragged her chair to the sink then came back for her plate.
“I’ll get these. You squirt the soap in the sink and run the water.” He’d actually meant to use the dishwasher, but hand washing would give him a few minutes longer to interact with his daughter. His cell phone rang and he glanced at the caller ID. Colton, with the band. Mark pocketed the phone. He’d call him after he tucked his daughter in. Maybe. If Colton started up again about him rejoining the band, he’d say no and hang up.
Lizzy climbed onto the chair and minutes later a mountain of bubbles rose in the sink. She must have used half the bottle. “That should get them clean,” he said and scooped a small amount of suds and dabbed it on her nose. “You can be Rudolph the white-nosed reindeer.”
A rare smile curved the corners of her mouth, lifting his heart. Impulsively, he picked her up, and when she didn’t stiffen, he whirled around the kitchen, singing about a white-nosed reindeer. When he finished, he lifted her chin and his heart ached. How could he have not known about Lizzy? He should have felt it in his bones. “I’m so glad you’re in my life.”
She stared at him, and for the first time, a glimmer of warmth teased him before it disappeared.
Later, after he’d tucked Lizzy in and he’d said her prayers, he went on line to search hippo therapy. He clicked on a link and almost laughed, glad he hadn’t asked the question that had come to his mind. Why didn’t she just call it horse-assisted therapy?
Shaking his head, he faxed Amy all the reports he had from Lizzy’s doctors and then took out his phone and called Colton back. “Hey man, what’s up?”
“We need you.”
“I told you, everything’s changed. I have a daughter who needs my complete attention. I can’t go off and leave her at night. I’m sorry, but until she’s talking again, I can’t be a part of the band.”
“But you can do just this one,” Colton said. “We’re playing a venue close to your hometown, and the guy who took your place quit. We got somebody who’s promising, but he can’t join us just yet. Just this once…”
Mark gripped the phone. He wanted to. It’d been pure torture to walk away from something that had consumed him since he was a teenager. The memory of Lizzy’s faint smile seared his heart. “No. I’m sorry. And it wouldn’t be just once, and you know it.”
An exasperated huff came across the line. “Let me know if you change your mind.”
“I won’t,” Mark said and disconnected. He laid his cell on the desk…if the venue was nearby, what would be the harm to go and play a couple of sets?
His cell phone vibrated on the desk, and he glanced at the caller ID. Gerald Graham. After a brief hesitation, he answered. “Hello.”
“How’s my granddaughter?”
Mark wasn’t surprised at the cold tone of Graham’s voice or the lack of pleasantries. He could be just as brief. “Lizzy’s fine.”
“Her name is Elizabeth.”
He was not going to argue with the man about her name.
“Is she talking yet?”
“No, but I’ve taken her to a speech therapist who has experience in selective mutism.”
“You don’t have a clue of what she needs. We had her in therapy, and she was beginning to respond when you took her away.”
He gripped the phone. The accusation in Graham’s voice was not fair. It wasn’t Mark’s fault he hadn’t known about Lizzy. And he hadn’t seen any progress with the West Virginia therapist. “Did you want anything other than to criticize me?”
“We’re coming to visit.”
His stomach sank. Just what he needed. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea right now. We’ve only been here a week, and I want Lizzy to get settled.”
“It’s not about what you want, Bradford. We want to see our granddaughter, and if you take visiting privileges away from us, we’ll take you to court again. There’s such a thing as grandparents’ rights, you know.”
“I have no intention—“
“We’ll arrive sometime later this next week.”
“Can you be more specific?”
“Nope. Just be looking for us.”
The line went dead. A visit from the Grahams was the last thing he needed.
Chapter 4
Amy had read the reports Mark had faxed and was ready when they arrived. Nothing in them or the tests that she conducted surprised her, but confirmed her preliminary thoughts about treatment using Ging
er. Amy felt the pony would be the key, just like it had been with her earlier patient.
Mark was looking over the farm and she texted him they were finished then closed her iPad. “Would you like a bumpy cookie or one of my mom’s gingerbread cookies?” She held out a pony-shaped cookie. “Then we’ll go see Ginger.”
With an enthusiastic nod, Lizzy climbed out of the chair and didn’t even look at the cookies Amy had made, and instead chose the gingerbread pony. After she ate it, she took Amy’s hand. Progress. Amy led the way out into the barn and picked up a pink halter. “How about I let you put this on?”
A smile spread across the child’s face. She looked so much like Mark—the blue eyes and blond hair, the dimple in her chin. For a second, Amy stilled, thinking of what could have been. Everyone had thought they’d marry. She sighed. Lizzy tugged on the halter. “Oh, I’m sorry. I was woolgathering.”
The look Lizzy gave her made Amy laugh. “I wasn’t paying attention.”
The child made a small “o” with her mouth, and Amy tugged one of the pig-tails someone had braided before she covered them with a helmet. Probably not Mark. At any rate, she’d gotten a smile. Inside the stall, Lizzy stood on a mounting block as Amy helped her with the halter. “Would you like to lead Ginger out?”
Lizzy stiffened as she bit down on her lip.
“Or would you rather brush her in here?”
A quick nod and the shoulders relaxed. Amy had read her correctly, and for this time, she went along with Lizzy. Once she had more trust, she could push the girl to step outside her boundaries. With the lead rope attached to a ring inside the stall, Amy helped Lizzy brush the pony.
“Good job,” Mark said from the doorway.
His words of praise lit Lizzy’s eyes, and she brushed Ginger’s neck harder. When the pony was groomed, Amy fitted her with a bareback pad and tightened the cinch. “Would you like to sit on Ginger?”
“You don’t use a regular saddle?” Mark’s eyes were guarded.
Amy shook her head. “She needs to feel the movement of the pony.” She turned back to Lizzy. “Ready?
A Heartwarming Christmas: A Boxed Set of Twelve Sweet Holiday Romances Page 68