I stand but can’t seem to make my feet move. Perth and Rhoswen have information I need; Cadman has someone I need to see. What do I do first? Should I stay and find out what they know or go see my best friend’s father? Will I be able to handle either situation?
Cadman pushes open the door the rest of the way, then steps through the round entrance. “I promise you there will be time to discuss what I meant earlier.” He wraps his hand around my upper arm. “Come with me, Kate. Your friend’s father means a lot to you, and he is asking for you.”
“Asking for me?” I hold Cadman’s gaze.
His blue eyes radiate kindness, warmth, love; he is family, and judging by the crease in his forehead, he’s concerned. Cadman doesn’t respond, doesn’t give me any more time for doubt; he tugs me out of the room and to the right, toward another door I haven’t opened yet.
“His appearance might frighten you, but I assure you if that man wishes to live through this, he will.”
“What do you mean?” I ask as we stop at the end of the hall.
He opens the door, then stands aside. “You will understand.”
A large bed with four intricately carved posts sits in the middle of the room, stripped of its blankets. Mr. Tanner lies with his back propped up by two lumpy, dingy pillows, taking slow, labored breaths. He meets my eyes and smiles. “Kate! It’s so amazing. I’ve seen Heaven. I spent time with Mary and Brad. I even met your god, Griandor.” Mr. Tanner pauses, wheezing for more breath.
“Water,” he croaks.
Vanora rushes out of what appears to be a closet and then walks to his bedside table. “He has had so much to drink, Cadman,” she says, placing a wooden cup into Mr. Tanner’s shaking hands. “I have not practiced Healing long, but this seems unusual.”
“I’ve told you I am fine. I have never felt so alive.” He pats a spot next to him on the bed. “Sit, Kate. Please.”
I lean close to Cadman’s ear. “Are you sure he’s okay?”
He nods. “Go. You will want to hear what he has to say. Many lives depend on it.”
Walking through the dust filled room, I take note of the golden silk drapes, the large wooden chair beside an equally large desk, a red rug under the bed. This is where Arland’s mother and father slept; there’s no doubt about that. How many times did he run in here in the middle of the night, frightened from a bad dream, looking for someone to tuck him in and tell him a story? How many nights did his mother spend cradling him in her arms while she sat by the big picture window at the back of the room? The only way I’ll ever know anything about him is if I ask his father, and I guess I’ll have plenty of time to do that while we’re talking about restructuring. Not that I care about that anymore.
I sit on the edge of the bed, nearly gagging on the sulfuric smell of blood, and force a smile. “What was Heaven like?”
“I knew you’d believe me.” He turns his head toward Vanora. “She told me I was crazy.”
Vanora harrumphs.
“I tried to explain to her crazy was going between two worlds and fighting in an odd war that affected gods and humans.”
I laugh, a genuine laugh, the kind that can free a burdened soul. “I’ve died before, Mr. Tanner. I never made it to Heaven though.”
He takes my hand in his and kisses it. “You were not meant to die; you were not meant to be harmed in any way. The forces working on your behalf are incredible. You are incredible.” Mr. Tanner releases my hand and glances at Vanora and Cadman. “Would you two mind if Kate and I had some alone time?”
“Not at all. Vanora, I believe there are two more wounded Mharans in the great room. Can you, please, care for them now? All of our friends wish to make their journey home in the morning … .”
She trails after Cadman, and they close the door on their way out. Part of me relaxes at the idea of all the Bheagans, Mharans, Morans, and Gaothans going home. Less people to worry about. Less people who need apologies.
Gary’s terrified, lifeless face flashes through my thoughts, and I cover my eyes, trying to force the vision away.
“Look at me, Kate.” Mr. Tanner sits up as though he hasn’t a pain at all. “You must listen to me closely. I spoke with Griandor. He said you have to remember, put the pieces together.”
Frustration rips at my heart, and it takes every ounce of control in me not to storm out of the room. “Remember what? I’m so sick of these fleeting dreams telling me to remember. What pieces am I supposed to put together? Did he tell you that?”
“He said you must remember everything you’ve learned since arriving in Encardia, only then will you find your happiness and Encardia its Light.” Mr. Tanner smiles, big and cheesy, reminding me so much of Brad.
What I wouldn’t give for my best friend’s company right now. What I wouldn’t give for things to just be different. But things aren’t. Every part of my life has been affected, destroyed.
“How can I find happiness after all I’ve been through? My husband is dead. The gods haven’t brought Brad back. My sister, my stepfather … the list seems to constantly grow.” I look at the door, tears welling in my eyes, and stand. “I’m sorry, Mr. Tanner. I wouldn’t have brought you into this if I knew the gods wouldn’t—”
“Brit said you wouldn’t be able to see past your grief. She gave her life for you, Kate. Don’t let that go to waste.” He turns, draping his legs over the edge of the bed, then gets to his feet and places his hands on my shoulders.
“She let herself be killed for nothing. She offered herself to Dughbal.” How dare she! My sister left me, too.
Everyone left me.
“A sacrifice.” Mr. Tanner shakes my shoulders. “Remember.”
“A sacrifice?” Brit’s letter mentioned something about a sacrifice and my memory. I pat my clothes, desperately wanting to read her words again, to memorize them. Maybe there’s a chance to bring her back, to force the gods to make good on their promise for Brad. Maybe … Arland? But I’m not wearing my clothes from earlier; I’m dressed in a long-sleeved nightgown. “I have to go.”
Mr. Tanner nods, releasing my shoulders, and I rush to the door.
“For the record,” he calls.
With my hand on the knob, I turn and face him. Blood soaks through his shirt above his pants. “Mr. Tanner! You’re bleeding.”
He looks down himself and shrugs. “I’ll be fine soon.”
“Let me get Vano—”
“No need,” he says, rubbing his hands. “For the record, as much as I hoped for you and my son to be together, I always knew you would find someone else. He does love you, and he wishes he could be here for you now.”
I take a couple steps toward him. “How—?”
“I’ve seen him, and I’m going to be with him and my Mary now. Griandor asked me to return to deliver a message, and I’ve done that.”
“You aren’t going to die, Mr. Tanner.” He can’t die. I can’t lose someone else. He’s the only piece of foundation I have left.
“I’ll be happier where I’m going. Brad will return here, but we both know a day will come where we’ll see each other again.” Smiling, Mr. Tanner stares at the ceiling.
Do I believe him? I want to so much. I want to know everyone is okay, happy, at peace. “Did you see Arland up there?”
“No. Now go, find your happiness, Kate.”
I gawk at the man before me, shooing me out of the room, in utter disbelief. I haven’t seen him so happy since … since before Mrs. Tanner died. I’m concerned this situation put him over the edge, took what little peace of mind he had left. “I’ll be back to check on you shortly.”
“I won’t be here,” he says, shaking his head. “Goodbye, Kate.”
What else can I say? I need to find Brit’s letter, and I need to get Vanora in here to help him. “Goodbye, Mr. Tanner.”
I yank open the door, screaming for the Healer-in-training.
“What is it?” she asks, appearing at the other end of the hall, hands propped on her hips.
; “Something is seriously wrong with him.”
She points at the floor. “Do you see that?”
Blue light dances across the wooden boards. I gasp and turn around, but the magic disappears.
“Mr. Tanner?” I shout.
He doesn’t respond. I hear nothing but the beating of my heart.
“He is gone,” Cadman says, entering the hall from the great room.
Vanora snorts. “You speak nonsense the same as that man, Cadman.” She storms down the hall, then opens the door. “Huh. He is gone.”
Remember!
“I’ll be in my room,” I say, bolting for the door. Why did I doubt Mr. Tanner so much? I’ve believed crazier things easier than the idea of someone making a jaunt to Heaven and back.
No matter who the sacrifice was for, I’ll be thankful.
“I will join you,” Cadman says.
“Oh, of course, go off and talk about your Leader stuff. You should send out the leech so she does not overhear things not meant for her ears.” Vanora flips her hair and brushes past me. “The fire I created is where I will be if you need me.”
Perth needs to talk to her. I don’t care what he thinks about Vanora’s loyalties or his connection with Rhoswen; he has to work this out or we’re going to have major problems.
I push open the door then step into Arland’s room, ignoring Rhoswen and Perth as they scoot away from each other. Everything around me spins, and I grab one of the bedposts for support.
Where will my child call home when he’s born? Will I live here in this house or one of the others on the outskirts of town, or will I go back to … there’s not much to go back to. Muriel will care for the horses, but who will operate the farm? I’ve got to make sense of these riddles and get back to Virginia. ”Rhoswen, where are my clothes from earlier?”
“I threw them in the burn pile.”
“You did what? Where’s the burn pile?” I take a deep breath, and my knees buckle beneath me. “Perth, the letter … .”
“I will get it.” He jumps to his feet, then runs from the room.
“What letter?” Cadman asks, helping me up.
“Brit wrote her prophecy for me.” I sit on the edge of the bed. “Why does my child put us in so much danger?”
“Found two,” Perth yells, holding up the plastic bags as if he’s showing off a good grade to his parents. “They were at the bottom of the burn barrel, but it seems your clothes are already gone. Hope there was nothing else you wanted to keep.”
“No.” I stand, but fuzziness fills my head, causing me to sit right back down.
“You need rest.” Cadman nudges my shoulder. “Lay back and we can discuss what we need to do before the other Leaders arrive.”
Nodding, I collapse onto the pillows and draw the covers up to my chin. The cool touch of the fabric against my skin is comforting and lonely all at the same time. I miss Arland and his soothing touch, the way he made everything bad in the world fade away.
Perth closes the door and he, Rhoswen, and Cadman all sit and watch me.
“If we do not restructure before the others find out about your child, restructuring will be out of the question,” Cadman says, holding my gaze and getting straight to the point.
“I don’t understand, Cadman. We were accepted at Willow Falls. Why would me carrying Arland’s child change that?”
“Because in Encardia if someone is killed before their term of High Leader can be served to completion, their child is put above all others on the list.” Rhoswen’s eyes empty of color for a glimmer of a second.
“Since you and Arland were chosen to serve at the same time, you would be appointed after current High Leader Maher steps down, then your child after you.” Cadman stares at Perth who’s staring at Rhoswen.
He frowns as though he’s seen something he doesn’t like, and I’m pretty sure I see it too. Maybe the spell isn’t completely broken from all the Ground Dwellers, or maybe the desire to Lead Encardia goes deeper than any spell. Maybe Rhoswen shouldn’t know anything about me.
I swallow hard, worrying about my unborn child, worrying people might try to take my life just to end my baby’s. “Why does any of this make a difference if we plan to restructure?”
Cadman grabs a fist full of blanket, eyes locked on Rhoswen. “Arland was loved by the people. He was the most anticipated High Leader in our history. You saw how everyone treated him. Certainly all the Leaders, save those of the Ground Dwellers, will call for the restructure to be forgotten—”
“And our chance to elect one of our own as High Leader will be gone,” Rhoswen finishes for Cadman.
Perth rubs his palm up and down her arm. “Our people do not deserve the position of High Leader, restructure or as is. Until we can prove to be peaceful, there is no reason for us to try.” He casts a sideways glance toward me. “If Arland survived, the people would have elected him anyway. With him gone, Katriona will be our next Leader. The only thing that will change with the restructure—assuming no one finds out about the pregnancy—is that her child will not be automatically put into the position after her. However, given how we are creatures of habit, I have no doubt the child will be elected as well. My father will not be threatened by just Katriona, but her plus the child … .” Perth turns and passes me my sister’s note. “You cannot allow anyone to discover, and you are drawn to this for a reason; you should find out why.”
I clutch the paper to my chest, praying the secret it unravels brings those I love back to me. “The sun won’t shine until I’m happy, and I’m far from it right now. I think this paper will tell me how to find what I’m looking for.”
“What are you looking for, ma’am?” Cadman asks, finally looking away from Rhoswen.
“Arland.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
I knew the others would think I’m crazy when I told them Arland is alive. He has to be. Mr. Tanner said he spoke with Mrs. Tanner and Brad in Heaven, but he didn’t see Arland. The dreams telling me to remember, Brit’s prophecy mentioning my happiness—actually, Arland’s prophecy said something about him having to keep me in his arms for Encardia to be safe—I’m so stupid. All this time I’ve been freaking over his death, but there’s no way he’s gone.
“I have to speak with High Leader Maher,” I blurt, excitement coursing through me. I’m not alone. Arland is alive … somewhere. I toss the scratchy blanket from my legs then crawl from bed, ignoring the nausea mounting an assault on my senses. The room can spin all it wants; I’m going to find my husband.
Cadman grabs my wrist, pulling me closer to his narrowed-eyed gaze. “You are playing a dangerous game with yourself, ma’am. I witnessed his death. You will not find him, and seeking help from his father—or any other Leader—will hinder what needs to be done.”
“And what needs to be done, Cadman? I need to play the strong widow and lie about what’s really going on to get people to agree on a restructure?”
Magic, a power I haven’t felt since killing Dughbal, bubbles inside me, growing and spreading to my extremities. The fire swells my heart; I’m on the right path, and I know it.
“I refuse to play any more games. I will go to the Leaders, I will tell them I’m pregnant and if anyone has a problem with that, they can face the gods’ wrath compliments of my fire.” I jerk my hand free. “Do you have a problem with that, soldier?”
“Katriona,” Perth says, low, cautious … placating. “I saw Arland die, too; I heard his screams. I know his body is missing, but when I said for you to figure out why your sister’s letter is important, I did not intend for you to go chasing ghosts.”
Rhoswen nods.
Everyone’s denial of what could be is infuriating. How can they question the possibility of Arland’s life when magic is native to them? Glaring, I consider the three people in this room who’ve supported me for the past few months. Not that long ago, they didn’t exist to me. Encardia was a place I’d never heard of, not even in fairy tales. Being married and pregnant was something I’
d rarely daydreamed about. My life has changed.
Dramatically.
I’ve spoken to a god; he told me what I have to do to save a world: form an army, seek out Dughbal and kill him—
Sconces tremble on the wall. The floor beneath my feet rumbles, making me reach for the bedpost. Wooden support beams crack and groan above us, and dust spills down from the ceiling like sand in an hourglass. I look at the others—their eyes are wide and full of panic—then meet eyes with Cadman.
“What’s happening?” I ask.
“Remember.” Griandor’s voice resonates through the room.
“Did you hear that?” Rhoswen squeaks, arms over her head.
I let go of the bedpost and stand straight, fear no longer controlling me. “Griandor said he’d help me every chance he could, and I think he just confirmed … .” Wait—Griandor said he’d help me every chance he could, but with Arland around, the god would have a hard time getting to me.
Arland is here.
I spin in circles, searching for something I know isn’t visible, praying Arland is whole and realizes I’m aware. I’m coming for him.
Somehow.
The fury of the gods subsides, leaving only floating particles of gray dust drifting down upon us, and three people staring at me with blank expressions.
I’m going to see my husband again. I’m going to hear his laughter, feel his warmth, his strength.
Cadman stands and places his hands on my shoulders, stopping my child-like circling. “Ma’am?”
I smile, power flowing through me, strengthening me. “Are you a part of my army?”
He nods. “Wherever you go, I will fight for you.”
“Then trust me, Cadman. Arland is not dead. We will not lie to the Leaders. When they arrive, we will tell them everything, and we will restructure after we bring Arland home.” I glance around the room and spot a pile of fresh—albeit dusty from being buried in drawers for twenty years—clothes that Rhoswen set out for me earlier. “Look away so I can get dressed.”
Rushing into the pants and shirt, I take deep breaths to calm my racing heart.
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