Shattered Edge

by A. M. Hargrove

  “What?”

  “I was looking at your smile Terri and not looking at the road. I should’ve been paying attention to the road, but instead, you smiled and I was captivated by you. I stared and that was all it took for that damn deer to run out. Had I been doing my job, driving safely and paying attention to the road, you wouldn’t have gone through everything you’ve endured.”

  “Justin, please stop. We’ve been through this. It was an accident.”

  “Yes, caused by my negligence and you nearly lost your leg over it.”

  I sat there and gaped at him. Nearly lost my leg? Why was this the first time I was hearing this?

  “What are you talking about?”

  He scrubbed his face back and forth and looked away from me, and then back again, agony radiating from his storm filled eyes.

  “You almost lost that leg Terri. I didn’t tell you because...well, the truth is I didn’t want to deal with it myself. I’m a freakin’ lame ass loser. You were on the edge...this close.” He held up his hand and pinched his thumb and forefinger together, barely leaving any space between.

  My mouth just hung open. I was shocked, but I was also pissed that he never had the balls to tell me.

  “I can’t believe you never told me. That none of the other doctors told me.”

  “I wouldn’t let them. I told Robert and Jackson not to breathe a word.”

  Robert and Jackson were his partners.

  “Why?”

  “I thought I was protecting you.”

  “From what?”

  He scrubbed his face again. I saw it emerge from his eyes. It was always there, really. Guilt. Torment. He would never let it go and I could never figure out why. Now I knew.

  “I thought if you didn’t know how close you were to an amputation, you and I might stand a chance.”

  I bent over at the waist and put my head in my hands. Why would he ever think that? Did he base everything on his guilt? What the hell was wrong with him?

  “You have issues Justin. I’m pissed that you weren’t honest with me. Isn’t that against some kind of medical law or something? I almost had to have my leg cut off and now you’re telling me? That is so messed up.”

  I rubbed my leg vigorously, because it was throbbing so badly it was only thing I could think of right now.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Justin

  I probably should’ve kept my mouth shut, but seeing her and how beautiful she looked made me spill the beans. I’d always wanted to tell her the truth...tell her how close she came to losing that leg. But I always chickened out in the end. Big man I was. Well, I told her now and I could see the disappointment and hatred spilling out of her eyes. I hurt her in ways I couldn’t imagine. And she was the last person on Earth I wanted to hurt. She was rubbing her leg like a mad woman and if she didn’t stop she was gonna wear a hole right through her dress and take her skin off too. Damn, I’m such a fuck up.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  Good one Justin. Like those three words were going to make up for it all.

  “Stop it. Don’t say another word. The time for sorries has long passed,” she hissed.

  “You had to know.”

  “Oh? And you came to that conclusion, how? Was it maybe because it was my damn leg on the line? Or maybe because you still feel bad for fucking those two whores at once?”

  Shit! Boy did I have this coming.

  “Calm down Terri.”

  “No! You calm down. And tell me something else Justin. Just how the hell do you know all of this? I thought patient confidentiality was golden in a doctor’s office. How the hell do you know so much about my damn leg?”

  Jesus, she was shaking and coming apart on me now. Man, did I fuck up. Why the hell didn’t I just keep my mouth shut, or at least wait for a more appropriate time to discuss this?

  “Terri, Robert and Jackson are my partners. I’m the specialist in reconstruction. They had to come to me. They couldn’t fix you. I was the one who did it.”

  “WHAT? So what you’re saying is that you did all the repairs?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “Justin, give me a straight answer. Now.” She said it through clenched teeth. I could almost feel her anger rolling off of her in waves.

  I wanted to tear my hair out and scream. I forced my breath through my tightened lips instead. “Okay. After the first two or three surgeries, it was apparent that they couldn’t get your leg where it needed to be. The blood supply was bad, the healing wasn’t going well and that’s when they started talking about amputating. I went ballistic. I couldn’t operate yet because I was still out of commission with my separated shoulder. So I went in and assisted by telling them everything they needed to do. Step by step. That’s my specialty Terri. It’s what I do...reconstruct shattered bones. So now you know.”

  I watched her throat working, convulsing, trying to swallow. God, this was killing me. The only thing I wanted to do right now was grab a hold of her and pull her close to me. Before I could stop myself, my arms, which had a mind of their own, did just that.

  She wouldn’t have any of it though. She shoved at me...hard. Those arms of hers were strong too. She’d been through a ton of physical therapy and had relied on them to assist her when her leg was out of commission. Her muscles were defined and sculpted and when she pushed me, I released her because she did it with such force.

  “Don’t! I can’t bear it right now.” She stood up and managed to hold her head high. Her body was as rigid as a damn slab of concrete as she forced her way out of that room. I flew out of my chair and followed her.

  She headed to the entrance of the building, where limos were lined up to take guests home.

  “You’re not leaving are you?” I asked, shocked.

  “What do you think?”

  “Terri, this is your best friend’s wedding celebration.”

  She looked at me with those piercing blue eyes and I wanted the side walk to swallow me whole. I felt smaller than a no-see-um and a bigger pain in the ass than one too.

  “Look, I’ll leave. You can’t leave.”

  “Justin, you can’t leave. You’re a Middleton. You’re a huge part of this whole thing. And I can’t stay here anymore.”

  “Please don’t leave. I’m sorry for all of this. I should’ve kept my big mouth shut and told you at a different time.”

  “Oh yeah, like maybe six months ago. That would’ve been the right thing to do. Now you leave me questioning your ethics. I have to go. For what it’s worth Justin, the whole accident thing was just that. I never blamed you for it, so stop doing it to yourself. This leg thing goes beyond the accident though. And another thing. I thought you and I had something. But now I find that being with you is as painful as being away from you. Excuse me, I need to let Lexi know I’m leaving.”

  She headed back inside, leaving me staring after her. I stayed there waiting, because I knew it wouldn’t take her long. Sure enough she was back outside ten minutes later.

  “I can’t talk you into staying?”

  “Not at this point.”

  She turned to signal to one of the limo drivers.

  “I’ll always be sorry for this Terrington Martin Mitchell. A strong name for a strong woman. Be safe and be happy.”

  I opened the car door for her and helped her inside. I stood there until I saw the tail lights fade into the darkness, feeling like my soul had faded right along with them.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Terri

  I didn’t even know he knew my full name. Tears blurred my vision to the point I didn’t know I was even home until the driver said something.

  “Miss? Is this the correct address?”

  I swiped at the tears and blinked a few times to clear my sight.

  “Yes, thank you,” I said as I handed him a tip.

  I slowly climbed out of the car and limped up to my door. My house was on James Island and it was a small patio home so I only had a few steps to climb until I was inside, thank
God. As soon as I crossed the threshold, those damn shoes came off and I flopped down on the couch.

  “Damn,” I grumbled out loud. When my butt hit the couch, I realized I should’ve gotten a large bag of ice and some Advil first. Moaning, and feeing really sorry for myself by this time, I forced myself back up, made my way into the kitchen and grabbed what I needed. Now my bed was my destination, so I tugged my dress off and didn’t even bother with PJ’s.

  When I went to put the bag of ice on my leg, the multitude of long, jagged and intersecting scars grabbed my attention. I winced as I examined them. The markings where the staples, stitches or whatever they used to glue me back together were still a wicked angry red. The scars from the surgeries and the initial injury were long and rigid. The doctors told me scar tissue had formed and in time it would get better, perhaps even out a bit. But right now, my leg was truly a horrific sight. Maybe I could become a panty hose model. The thought made me laugh a little at first, but then it became uncontrollable. Every time I thought it was over, I’d get a mental image of me advertising panty hose and I’d start laughing again. They say laughter is good medicine. I think in my case it was a sign I was mentally unstable.

  Tears weren’t an option. I refused to go that route. That happened a lot at the beginning but the only thing crying brought me was a headache and a swollen face. Dealing with this was the only thing I could do. If I looked at this as a rational person, I could sort of see why Justin had done it. But damn it, he withheld important information about me and that was wrong. No damn wonder he’d been filled with such guilt. All this time I thought it was over those two chicks he’d nailed and it wasn’t that after all. He seriously crossed a line he shouldn’t have by not telling me I almost lost this leg. Would it have made a difference in my outcome? Probably not. But that wasn’t the point.

  That ice was doing the trick but it was also making me shiver, so I jerked the covers over me. A few more minutes and I’d take it off. The clock on my nightstand caught my eye and I realized that Lexi and Pearce were probably leaving the reception about now. I hoped they had a great time on their honeymoon and hopefully, by the time they got back from Italy, Lexi’s head would be filled with all sorts of romanticism that she would’ve forgiven me for not being there to see her off.

  My eyes started to close, but as usual, his face swam in my thoughts. Damn him for the thousandth time. Since the ice and Advil had worked their magic, I got out of bed and went to take my makeup off. Unfortunately, waterproof eye makeup remover wasn’t something I had in my bathroom. The usual stuff I used didn’t put a dent in it. What the hell did they make this crap out of...Gorilla Glue? I tried everything I had on hand and nothing worked. I was going to kill Tana, the wedding director. It was sweet of her to have given us the mascara and all, but hell, she should have given us something to scrape this stuff off with. I looked like one of those vampires now...all pale with black kohl outlining my eyes. All the scrubbing I did made them all red and bloodshot so I now really looked the part. To top it off, all my eyelashes were stuck together too. No telling what they’d look like in the morning.

  I finally gave up. My eyelids were getting rubbed raw and if I didn’t quit, I wouldn’t have any eyelashes left to worry about anyway. Diverting my attention to my teeth, I put a generous glob of toothpaste on my brush and commenced to scrub the heck out of them. I guess I was thinking then that maybe the teeth scrubbing would translate to my eyes or something. I don’t know. Whatever. Afterwards I moved on to the floss. Dental hygiene was a high priority for me. I was taking care of these babies. At least I would wake up and still have teeth...eyelashes were questionable, but not teeth. That got me back to thinking about waterproof mascara again. Did people really wear this stuff everyday and if so, how in the world did they get it off? I was going to Google it for sure.

  Brushing your teeth was underrated. It felt sooo good to get the grime off. Now on the other hand, brushing your hair was a different issue, especially when someone had fixed it in an up-do for a wedding and you had to remove tons of bobby pins. This was craptastic. How was I ever going to get all of these out? And the hairspray? Ugh, I hated having that gunk in my hair.

  I dug around and there must’ve been fifty bobby pins stuck everywhere. Now my head was itching something fierce, like ants crawling everywhere. That freakin’ hairspray. I ran my fingers through my hair, scratching my head and boy did it feel good. Now I was ready for my head to hit the pillow. With that thought, my belly jerked into a wad of knots. His gorgeous face would be there as soon as I closed my eyes.

  For once, I wished I was wrong about this...about him and his face. But I wasn’t. He’d become a permanent fixture in my mind. Well, looking at the bright side, at least he was easy on the eyes.

  As I lay there pondering his looks, my cell phone rang. I picked it up and answered it without checking who it was.

  “Terri, it’s me, Justin.”

  Like he would have to tell me. I’d recognize that voice anywhere.

  “Yeah?” I wasn’t up for a conversation right now.

  “Can we talk?”

  “Now?”

  “Yes. There are things that need to be said...things I should’ve said a while ago. I know you can’t forgive me for that incident with the two women. And I don’t know what else to say to you other than I really screwed up on that. I’m so goddamn sorry. I’d give anything...(long pause) yeah, anything to make it go away...but please give me a chance.”

  “Justin, can’t we talk about this tomorrow?”

  “No! Seeing you tonight...Terri, damn it...I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s been like this for months now. At least talk to me. That’s all I’m asking. Nothing more.”

  “Oh hell, Justin. That whole thing with those two skanks. I mean, I don’t know. That really hurt me.”

  “Listen Terri. I’m a shit. I know it. I’m a terrible person. There are things I’ve done that I’m not very proud of, but you know the worst of them. The bottom of the fucking barrel. I’ll be totally honest with you about everything in my life. Just let me in. Talk to me. Please. I’m begging Terri.”

  “Tomorrow then. Call me in the morning. We’ll talk.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. But I can’t make any promises.”

  “Tomorrow then. And Terri?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Goodnight.”

  He ended the call.

  Mother of God! I just agreed to talk to him in the morning.What the hell! I am soooo screwed!

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Justin

  Terri was going to kill me. I knew she was, but I didn’t care. I had to do this. I left the reception as soon as Pearce and Lexi headed out the door. I picked up the phone and called her. I couldn’t stand it. I had to hear her voice, but I also needed to tell her how I felt. When she agreed to talk to me in the morning, I waited all of one second before my decision was made. I went straight to Pearce’s house and found Lexi’s keys hanging on the rack where they kept all their other keys. I searched until I found what I was hunting and left before I lost my nerve.

  The trip over the connector to James Island only took about ten minutes. I was parked in front of her house before I could second guess my actions. It was eleven o’clock and all the lights were out. I didn’t want to scare her, yet I knew she wouldn’t let me in if I knocked on her door. Sitting there like a peeping tom, I just watched her house, trying to figure out the right thing to do. My hand grabbed the door handle, my mind was made up. It took all of twelve long strides before I reached her front door. Sliding the key into the lock, I turned it gently and opened the door. I slipped off my jacket and tie and draped them across the arm of her sofa.

  My heart was pumping so loud I felt like I was at Churchill Downs on Derby Day, and not as a spectator. The gates were getting ready to open and I was chomping at the bit. She had two choices: she could talk or throw me out. There were no other options. But I wasn’t leaving until she did one or the other.
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br />   There was no getting around the fact that I was on the verge of scaring the piss out of her and I hated that. That is what was bothering the hell out of me right now too. But I would calm her down as fast as I possibly could. I relocked the door, took off my shoes and headed toward what I hoped was her bedroom.

  The door was partially opened and I could see the outline of her body under the covers. I went to the empty side of the bed and lay down. Turning onto my side, I reached over and put my arm on top of her.

  She bolted up into a sitting position and started yelling.

  “Sshh, it’s me, Justin,” I said as I sat up and tried to assure her she was safe.

  “No it’s not.”

  She swung her fist and hooked me in the jaw. Damn, that hurt too.

  “Terri, it’s me. Stop it, please.”

  “Don’t lie. Who are you?”

  “Turn on your light. I won’t hurt you.”

  She turned on the light and saw it was me.

  “Holy hell Justin. What the fuck are you doing? You scared the crap out of me. Have you ever heard of knocking? Or maybe calling first? What the hell?”

  I couldn’t tear my eyes off of her chest. She was naked. And panting. And so goddamn beautiful I couldn’t speak. Her hair was mussed up like she just been thoroughly made love to and her face was scrubbed free of makeup...well except for her eyes and they looked sort of strange and furry. But they were shooting blue sparks and that mouth of hers...God, is all I could think of was how I wanted to taste it.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Er...” well now that she asked the question, I didn’t have a solid answer for her.

  “Justin, I’m waiting.”

  “Yeah. Right.” I finally yanked my eyes away from her for a second and then looked back. “I had to see you. I couldn’t wait until the morning.”

  Her mouth opened and closed, like she wanted to say something, but she didn’t. And then I did what I swore I wouldn’t. I took her into my arms and kissed her. I couldn’t help myself. She was sitting there, naked, and perfect and she smelled so effin’ good. And I had wanted to do that for so damn long. My next shock came when she started kissing me back. And making those sweet tiny sounds, like a little kitten would make. My pants were getting way too tight and I needed to adjust myself, but I didn’t give a rat’s ass. I would go through a month of torture just to hold her like this. God, her skin was so soft and smooth it reminded me of satin.