by Miranda Lee
His face tightened. 'That much is obvious, my dear. If I remember correctly, we had known each other. . ten days, wasn't it?...before we became lovers. By your response tonight I think we'll be a lot quicker this time, don't you?'
His mocking disdain cut Cassie to the quick. Her only wish was to strike back, to hurt him as he was hurting her. 'Aren't you forgetting one small matter, Dan? I already have a lover—a lover who's waiting for me at this very moment, only too willing to meet my physical needs. I certainly don't need you!'
Cassie shrank back from the frightening force of his glare.
'You are not to go to this man tonight. Do you hear me, Cassie? Or any other night. I forbid it!'
Her laughter was almost hysterical. 'You forbid it? You forbid it? And who do you think you are, Dan McKay, forbidding me to do anything?'
He smiled.
Cassie rocked back. Never had she encountered a smile like it. Thin and cruel; edged in pure steel.
He turned and walked slowly round behind the desk, seating himself again and leaning back in the chair, looking up at her with cynically cold eyes. Cassie found his silence more threatening than the loudest tirade.
'I'll tell you who I am, Cassie Palmer,' he said at last. 'I am the father of your son. I am also an extremely rich man. But more than either of those things, I am a man who has had a gutful of sacrifices and compromises and considerations. I want my son. And, strange as it may seem, I still want you...'the corners of his mouth lifted in a dry, ironic smile '...even if you aren't the same girl I fell in love with. Nevertheless, you are a very desirable woman—a woman I have a mind to possess. Or should I say repossess? And before you tell me so, I'm well aware that you despise me now. Nevertheless, I am quite capable of living with that, as long as you give me what I want.'
Cassie's head was spinning. 'And what is that?' she asked shakily. 'Sex?'
His face remained stony. 'Among other things.'
'What other things?'
'My son, for starters. And not on any part-time, neighbourly basis. I want him here, in my home, all the time.'
'But I don't want ‑'
'I don't give a damn what you want!' he slammed at her, jumping to his feet and banging his fist down on the desk. 'You've lost all chance of my considering your wishes. I will not be treated like some vermin that's just crawled out from under a stone!'
Cassie quaked under the force of his fury. Dan had said he could be ruthless, but even she had not envisaged something like this.
'No matter what you thought of me,' he went on brutally, 'you should not have kept me in ignorance of my son. Maybe there was some excuse nine years ago, but yesterday, when I told you my wife was dead, when I showed I still cared about you, you should have told me the truth. That would have been the decent thing to do!'
'But, Dan, I ‑'
'Enough! You wouldn't listen to my explanations then. I'm not interested in yours now.'
Cassie didn't know what to do, what to say. She was totally confused, frantically upset. 'I...I wanted to tell you,' she blurted out. 'When Jason was born it nearly killed me not to contact you.'
'Then why didn't you?' His voice was cold, unmoved. 'My name is listed in the phone book.'
'I...we... Mum and I hadn't told my father that you were responsible. He was so angry about my pregnancy. Mum thought it better he think it was some boy at a party one night. If he'd found out I'd had an affair with a...a married man...God knows what he would have done.'
'Come now, Cassie, you don't expect me to believe you were protecting me all this time?'
His derision brought utter frustration. 'No, of course not! It was to protect my father! He had a heart condition. Not that my keeping my affair with you a secret was any benefit in the end,' she said bitterly. 'Shortly after Jason was born Dad had an attack and died. And it was all my fault. Mine and yours! I hated you then, don't you see? And when you came back yesterday, smiling at me as though the past was nothing, I...I...' She fumbled for words. Everything was so mixed up in her head. She did still hate him, didn't she?
'You hated me even more,' Dan finished for her in a matter-of-fact tone. 'Yes, Cassie, I do see. Love turning to hate is a common enough occurrence. But it doesn't change a thing, because, love me or hate me, you're going to marry me.'
All the breath was punched from Cassie's body. 'Marry you?' she gasped.
Dan's smile was dry. 'I can see my proposal has come as a shock. Perhaps I should give you some time to consider it.'
Cassie swallowed. 'How...how much time?'
'Twenty-four hours.'
'Twenty-four hours?' she repeated blankly.
'Must you repeat everything I say?' Dan ground out irritably. 'When you come to pick Jason up tomorrow, you can give me your answer.' He sat back down, then glanced up, eyes and face hard. 'Of course, I should explain what will happen if you refuse.'
Cassie said nothing. She was incapable of speaking.
'Jason is my son. A simple DNA test will prove that. What's more, I am a father willing and able to support his son very well. Oddly enough, courts these days don't favour the woman in custody cases as much as they used to. I have no doubt that I will get a fair hearing, which is more than I got from you.'
'You'd try to take my son away from me?' Cassie cried in a choked voice. Her throat was dry, her heartbeat suspended from fear.
Was that a trace of pity she saw pass across his face?
'Only if you force me, Cassie,' he said evenly.
Cassie whirled away, her hands coming up to cradle her cheeks. 'If I force you?' she cried. 'Oh, God...'
She whirled back, tears pricking her eyes, but renewed defiance in her heart. She strode over to the desk and leant on it, her face flushed and angry. 'You would have to be the most heartless man in the world, Dan McKay, not to mention the most stupid! Do you honestly think any court in the world would award you custody of my son? Even if the unthinkable happened, even if you somehow bribed your way to a favourable decision, you wouldn't win in the end. Jason would hate you for taking his mother away from him. Hate you, do you hear me? Almost as much as I hate you!'
Dan's knuckles showed white as he clenched the edge of the desk and pushed himself slowly to his feet. He loomed over her, his face and stance intimidating, but Cassie was too angry to be afraid.
'I'll fight you, Dan,' she threatened, glaring up into his blazing eyes. 'I'll fight you every inch of the way, with every weapon I have. Even if you get Jason, you won't win!'
An electric silence enveloped them as they glowered at each other.
Surprisingly Dan was the first to look away. He turned and walked over to the window where he stood and stared into the night, his shoulders stiff, his whole stance incredibly tense. After several excruciating seconds, he turned to face Cassie, the set of his mouth tight and grim. 'I take your point,' he conceded grudgingly. 'That is not what I want. Not at all. I want Jason to love me.'
Cassie was swamped by such a wave of relief that she had to clutch the edge of the desk to steady herself.
'You would make a good adversary in the boardroom, Cassie Palmer,' Dan admitted. 'But don't underestimate your opponent. You haven't won yet.'
Her chest tightened. She should have known that this wouldn't be the end of the matter. Dan was not a man willing to lose. In anything.
The possibility of his kidnapping Jason again crossed her mind. As melodramatic as such an event seemed, people did do dreadful things when desperate. Cassie had to stop the situation from deteriorating to that level.
'I'm prepared to be reasonable about access,' she offered tautly.
Dan's expression remained guarded. 'Oh? In what way? As friend, or father?'
Cassie bit her bottom lip. 'I...I don't think it's wise to tell him you're his father just yet.'
'And why not?' The black eyes glinted dangerously. 'He doesn't think I'm dead, does he?'
'No...'
'Well, what does he think? What have you told him about me?'
'I... Not much. I explained that I didn't want to marry his father as I was too young, and that you lived too far away to visit.'
'And he accepts that?'
She shrugged. 'Jason's only eight. Perhaps in time he'll want more.'
'Why do you object to my telling Jason I'm his father?'
'This isn't the city, Dan. People around here are shockable. And narrow-minded. Jason would be hurt by the gossip.'
'And you? Would you be hurt by the gossip?'
Cassie drew herself up straight. 'I'd survive.'
Dan's expression was hard to read. Was it admiration? Or derision... 'I've no doubt you would,' he mocked, answering the question for her.
'You won't tell him?' she swept on, chin still up.
His hesitation in answering made her stomach churn. 'I can't promise that, Cassie,' he finally admitted.
She almost stamped her foot. 'Damn you, Dan! Didn't you listen to what I said?'
'I do not live my life according to the opinions of others,' he snarled.
Her laugh was scornful. 'As well I know.'
'I don't blame you totally for wanting to turn the screw, Cassie,' he said in a low, deadly voice, 'but I'm warning you, don't keep doing it too long.'
She was about to speak, to challenge him, but common sense made her hold her tongue. Push him too far and who knew what he might do? At least he seemed to have dropped his ridiculous marriage proposal.
'What about tomorrow afternoon?' she asked, deliberately changing the subject. 'Do you still intend picking Jason up from school?'
'Yes.'
'You won't drive fast?'
'Of course not.'
'And he'll be safe in the helicopter?'
'For God's sake, Cassie!' Dan exploded. 'He's my son, too. I wouldn't dream of putting him at risk.'
Cassie believed him. Whatever else, Dan seemed to care about the boy. 'I...I'll tell him to wait for you at the bus-stop outside the school.
Do you know where the Riversbend primary school is?'
'I'll find it.'
'It's down a side-street. It ‑'
'I said I'd find it, Cassie. I've made my way successfully around the world several times. I don't need someone to hold my hand. Just you make sure you come personally to collect Jason, with your answer ready.'
'My answer? You mean...you still expect...?'
His expression was totally impassive. 'My proposal of marriage still stands, Cassie.'
'And if I say no?'
'I don't think you will, once you come to terms with the situation.'
Cassie gaped her astonishment.
'I'm sure you don't want Jason to be unhappy,' Dan went on, 'any more than I do.'
'How on earth can you ‑?'
'Do let me finish, my dear,' he cut in coldly.
She sighed her frustration, but let him continue.
'You say that telling Jason I'm his father just now is not in his best interests. I challenge that. I think Jason needs me. And he needs me now! Not in six months' or six years' time. How do you think he'll feel if and when you finally reveal the truth? Do you think he'll appreciate your reasons for delaying? Or that he'll believe you were only protecting him from gossip? There's bound to be gossip no matter when we tell him. Of course, the gossip would quickly die down, if you married me...'
'But I can't marry you!' Cassie exclaimed, her glare hiding her underlying panic. 'I won't!' My God, to be with him every day, to sleep with him every night...
Dan's returning glare held no compromise at all. 'Let me assure you, Cassie, I'm not going to go away. And I will eventually tell the boy the truth. It is his right, after all. I must admit, I don't envy your position when I do.'
'What...what do you mean?'
'I wouldn't like having to explain to Jason why you refused to marry his father, especially after I vow my undying love for you both!'
'You'd lie to him?' she husked.
His jaw clenched. 'About what?'
'You might love Jason, but you don't love me, Dan McKay. Don't you dare say that you do!'
He said nothing.
'Why are you doing this?' she threw at him. 'Why?'
He didn't even flinch. 'I'm doing what's best for Jason,' he declared in merciless tones. 'I expect you to do the same. If you truly love him...'
Cassie's whole body slumped, her eyes dropping to the floor in a gesture of defeat. It was useless, absolutely useless. The man was too hard. And too clever. Appealing to her motherly love was the lowest tack.
But very successful.
She didn't even react when he moved to stand in front of her, when his hands reached out to close firmly over her shoulders. All defiance was dead.
'Cassie...I don't want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you... But I will have my son. Make no mistake about that.'
Her eyes lifted—sad, weary eyes. 'All right,' she sighed.
He frowned down at her, tension seeping into his fingers. The tips pressed harder into her flesh. 'All right? What do you mean by that?'
'I mean all right, Dan.' Her voice was dull, flat. 'I'll do what you want. And you don't have to wait till tomorrow for your answer.'
'You mean you agree to marry me?' he asked in a surprisingly shocked tone. 'Just like that?'
'Yes.' She felt tired. Terribly tired.
'Even though you hate me?'
A deep, dark pain jabbed at her conscience. It found relief in a final burst of spirit. 'Does it matter?' she flung at him. 'I will do what I have to do. You said it earlier. I'm only putting off the inevitable. Once you tell Jason he's your son, he'll wonder why he can't have a normal family life like other children. What answer could I give him? So you see, Dan? There's no need for any more threats or more blackmail. You've won.'
'What about us?' he demanded.
'What about us?' she shot back.
'Goddamn you, Cassie, you know what I mean. It's not just the boy I want.'
Cassie's heart stopped beating.
'Don't imagine that I'll settle for a marriage of convenience,' he went on fiercely. 'I want you in my bed every night. I want you, all of you, body and soul.'
His arrogant demands found an answering fire in Cassie. She glared up at him, blue eyes flashing. 'We can't always have what we want, Dan. Do you imagine I want to marry you?'
'You still want me to make love to you. That much I know.'
She kept her chin held high. 'If I do, then I despise myself for it!'
'Don't say that!'
'Why not? It's true. Every time you touch me, down deep inside I cringe. My body might look to yours for a temporary relief, but afterwards...afterwards, Dan, I will only feel revulsion.'
'No!' he cried as she tried to pull free of him. His arms swept around her, holding her close, lifting her on to tiptoes till his lips were touching hers. 'You're wrong, Cassie,' he whispered into her mouth. 'Wrong... Hate has warped your mind. It could be wonderful...perfect...as it was before ‑'
'No,' she denied, fiercely trying to ignore his lips brushing against hers, it will never be the same. Never! We don't love each other any more. When we go to bed now it will be having sex, not making love.'
'Call it anything you like!' he rasped, his fingers digging into her back. 'But don't delude yourself that it will be anything like the sex you've been having. Even now your body cries out instinctively for mine. You're trembling, Cassie. You want me. I was your first lover, your first real love. Nothing will change that, no matter how many men you've slept with since, no matter what that twisted soul of yours pretends. You were totally mine once and you will be again.'
'Never!' Cassie shook her head violently from side to side, all the while knowing that Dan was right. She might despise him as a person, but sexually she was still under his spell.
Quite abruptly he let her go, almost throwing her aside, stalking back over to the window and glaring through it in brooding silence.
When he whirled back to face her, Cassie was shocked by the raw, naked pain on his
face. 'Well? What are you waiting for? Get out! Go to your blasted lover, for all I care! But understand this, Cassie Palmer. No wife of mine will lie in another man's bed. So you make it clear to your darling boss tonight that your affair is over! Terminated!' His eyes narrowed. 'If I ever find out differently...'
Cassie swallowed. An undercurrent of sexual revenge smouldered through Dan, making her fearful, yet at the same time disturbingly aroused.
'What...what about Jason?' she asked in a husky whisper. 'Do...do you still want me to pick him up from Strath-haven tomorrow? I could come after work, about five-thirty.'
'Do whatever you like,' he growled and spun away. 'Just get out of my sight.'
Cassie stared at the grim figure, a strange compassion stirring inside her. Dan was hurting, really hurting. It didn't matter to her that his jealousy came from a bruised ego, not true feeling. She wanted to go to him, to hold him, to tell him that there was no lover. But before she could even begin to move he rounded on her again, his face hard once more.
'Are you still here? What's the problem? Won't darling Roger have waited this long for you?' His mouth creased back into a cruel, taunting smile. 'Perhaps you've changed your mind, is that it? You want me to give your body that temporary release you spoke of...'
Cassie backed away, her eyes wide. When he took a step towards her she grabbed her cardigan and fled, Dan's wild, harsh laughter echoing in her ears.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Cassie spent a terrible Monday. On the surface she functioned normally, going to work, operating all morning, making calls all afternoon, smiling and talking as though nothing was different. Underneath, she was a seething mass of confusion and fears. How could she have been so stupid as to agree to marry Dan? Whatever had possessed her?
The ever-observant Roger had frowned at her more than once, finally asking what was wrong, but she made some excuse about not sleeping well. He believed her because insomnia had been a recurring problem of Cassie's over the years.
Her mother had not been as easy to put off that morning at breakfast. She had been bursting with curiosity, wanting to know what had transpired with Dan. Cassie had no intention of telling her mother the blunt and embarrassing details of the entire evening. And Jason's presence at the breakfast table had precluded any open discussion about his father.