I Remember You

by Harriet Evans

  ‘Perhaps.’

  ‘I don’t know anything about it,’ he said. ‘Just a clue, that’s all I want. I’m in that town, and I’m from that family, and I don’t even know the most basic things…’ He rubbed his temples.

  ‘Nor does anyone else,’ said Tess. ‘And when people start finding out she’s your grandmother…that’s going to be strange.’

  ‘I know.’ He was silent, staring across at the square, and then he rubbed his temple with one finger again and looked at his watch. ‘I’d better go in a minute.’

  ‘Where?’ she said, startled.

  ‘Back to the hospital. I told Dr Veltroni I’d be back to see her in a couple of hours.’

  Tess wrinkled her brow. ‘Really?’

  ‘Yep.’ Adam crushed his paper napkin into a tiny ball. ‘So, we should talk when I’m back.’

  ‘Er—’ said Tess. ‘Yes.’

  He drummed his fingers on the side of the chair. ‘I mean, what have you decided to do about the group? When are you going back, have you had a meeting about it? What do they want to do?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Tess.

  ‘But you’re in charge,’ he said, half-smiling at her.

  ‘We’ll work something out,’ Tess said crossly. ‘I don’t know what they want to do yet.’

  ‘What, you still haven’t talked to them?’ He sounded mildly surprised.

  ‘No,’ said Tess, breathing through her nose, trying to stay calm. ‘What with being at the hospital for hours, and talking to people back home, and trying to get hold of the next of kin and everything.’

  ‘You found time to see your Italian boyfriend though,’ Adam said, raising his eyebrows.

  Tess turned to face him, but his expression gave nothing away. ‘He’s American. Well, half-Italian. Oh, it doesn’t matter.’

  ‘You said he was—’

  ‘He was with me when your—she—when Mrs Mortmain collapsed! Of course he came with me, and it’s a bloody good thing he did!’ Tess said and she realized she was shouting. She calmed down. ‘Sorry. But he was the only one who knew what was going on, who could talk to the ambulance people, the doctors. So leave it.’

  ‘Fine,’ he said, holding up his hands. He put some money down on the table. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply anything. It’s none of my business, anyway.’ He stood up, and she stood up too.

  ‘Here—’ She thrust a paper map from the hotel at him. ‘This’ll help you find your way round.’

  ‘Thanks,’ said Adam, sticking his wallet inside his jacket. ‘Bye. So—will you be OK?’

  ‘Yes, of course,’ she said, squinting into the sun to look up at him. ‘See you later, then.’

  ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘See you later.’ The sun was blinding her, she couldn’t see his expression. ‘We’ll need to discuss things. When you’ve had the meeting, and I’ve decided what to do, is that all right?’

  ‘Fine,’ said Tess. ‘Absolutely. Take—take care.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  He stalked off, without a backwards glance. Pigeons scattered, flying into the air as he headed back the way they’d come across the square, leaving her behind, watching him go.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  ‘You haven’t rung the insurance company?’ Andrea said, sitting on her hands and rocking forward.

  ‘No,’ said Tess. ‘I thought we’d better all discuss it first.’

  ‘Well, dear—if we’re going to go home, we’d better do something about it,’ said Jan. ‘Sooner rather than later.’

  ‘I know,’ said Tess. She looked around, trying not to sound helpless. ‘That’s why I thought we should put it to the vote.’

  There was a murmur of discontent from the back row (Ron and Andrea), a muffled sigh from the stalls (Carolyn Tey), and a ‘harrumph’ from the circle (Diana Sayers). They were in a small meeting room off the reception area of the Albergo Watkins. It was a dark, mean room, with an ancient ceiling fan that clanked on every circumference, and a vague smell of drains.

  It was after one, and very hot. They were all tired, and hungry, and fractious, like a group of schoolchildren. Tess wished she knew how to calm them, how to make it better.

  ‘I think you’d better call the insurance people, Tess, before we make any decisions,’ said Jacquetta rather crossly. ‘There’s no point in us voting to all go back a day early first thing tomorrow if you ring them and they tell us we’re not covered for it.’

  ‘Absolutely,’ said Carolyn. ‘Tess, dear, I do think we ought to know what provision the school has made for this kind of eventuality.’

  Tess said snappishly, ‘What, the eventuality of one of you having a stroke and an unduly complicated family history? Do you know, I don’t think we have an eventuality for that,’ she said.

  ‘Tess,’ Diana Sayers said chasteningly. Carolyn sank back into her seat like a scolded child. Tess blushed, ashamed of herself.

  A voice from the back spoke up. ‘I’d like to stay on till Monday,’ said Liz. ‘But I don’t mind if we go back tomorrow, either. I’ll go with the majority.’

  ‘Me too,’ said Claire. ‘Tess, do you need us to do anything?’

  Tess flung them a grateful glance, even more ashamed of her childish behaviour. ‘No, thanks,’ she said. ‘Thanks, though.’ She felt they were giving her an inter-generational vote of confidence. ‘Hey. Can you all just hang on here for a few minutes?’ she said, looking at them all. ‘I’ll call Beth and the insurers, and see what results and I’ll have some answers for you then. Ladies—I’m sorry about this. Give me a few minutes.’

  ‘Ladies and gentleman,’ Ron muttered crossly under his breath as Tess went out of the room.

  ‘So—all those who vote to go tomorrow, put your hands up, then.’

  ‘That’s it, isn’t it?’

  ‘I think that’s pretty clear,’ Tess said. ‘So, by a clear majority, you vote to go back tomorrow. There’s an easyJet flight in the morning, the insurers are pretty sure they can put us on that. I’ll have to—’ She paused. What would Adam want to do? She didn’t know, and then she remembered his rather caustic tones. But you’re in charge…What, you still haven’t talked to them? Well, he was right. Her first loyalty wasn’t to him, it was to her group, and that’s what they’d voted, and so they were going, and he could follow on later, when he’d sorted out whatever needed to happen with Leonora Mortmain.

  ‘So, this is our last night,’ Jan said, with a rueful little smile. ‘I must say, Tess, I didn’t expect it to end like this, did you, dear?’

  ‘No—’ said Tess. ‘Our last night, you’re right—’ She suddenly thought of Peter. One more night, would she even have time to see him, what with packing the ladies up and sorting everything out?

  Jan misunderstood her. ‘It’s been wonderful, Tess dear. Don’t you start thinking it hasn’t been.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘And you know, until Mrs Mortmain went and dropped practically dead, it was a lovely holiday, wasn’t it, Carolyn!’ She pinched Carolyn Tey hard on the arm.

  ‘Um—yes,’ said Carolyn, smiling weakly at Tess. ‘Lovely, Tess. Lovely holiday! Excuse me,’ she finished, hurrying for the door.

  ‘Silly woman,’ said Diana. She winked at Tess. ‘All right, Tess? What else is there to do?’

  ‘Nothing. You’d better pack. Please, everyone!’ Tess clapped her hands. ‘Carolyn! Just a moment. The flight’s at nine twenty-five, that means leaving here at seven o’clock in the morning, is that clear? I’m afraid it’s a very early start, but…’

  The group edged out of the room in single file, Tess last. She looked round at the badly lit room, and turned the light off on her way out. It wasn’t like Rome any more, none of it was. Real life wasn’t riding around on mopeds, drinking Prosecco with Peter, lying on the floor in his arms, dancing to Ella Fitzgerald. No, no. This was real life. She sighed and went upstairs. She had to pack. Her phone rang as she climbed the stairs.

  ‘Peter?’

  ‘Hi, sweetie.’ Peter’s deep voice reso
nated down the phone, as if he were next to her. ‘Look, can you talk? I just want to—’

  ‘I’m going tomorrow,’ she said desperately, unlocking the door to her room and closing it hurriedly. ‘We’re leaving, first thing.’ She reached into the cupboard and got out her suitcase.

  There was a silence. ‘Shit,’ he said eventually. ‘I need to see you, then.’

  ‘I know,’ she said.

  ‘I’ll come over later. We need to talk.’

  ‘“We need to talk”?’ Tess said, trying to sound light-hearted.

  ‘Something’s happened, and I don’t know what to do about it,’ he said. ‘And now you’re leaving. Perhaps I should go for it.’ It was as if he were talking to himself. ‘You’re really going?’

  ‘I have to, Peter,’ she said, fiddling with her necklace, looking around the room; it was a mess, everything was a mess. She breathed deeply. ‘What’s up? Can’t you tell me?’

  ‘I’ll explain later,’ he said. ‘But it’s not you. You’re wonderful. See you soon.’

  ‘I—’ she began, but the line had gone dead.

  There was no sign of Adam at tea-time, and by six o’clock Tess had had a busy day. She’d packed, spoken to the insurers again and to easyJet. She had checked with everyone that they were getting on OK, and had explained everything to the hotel, ordered three cars to take them to the airport and had booked Brian’s minibus in Langford to pick them up from Gatwick at the other end and take them home. Claire and Liz were going to the bar in the main square of Trastevere one last time, and they had asked Tess along.

  ‘Come on. One more Prosecco,’ Liz had said, when she knocked on Tess’s door to ask her.

  Tess had smiled, caught between a laugh and a sigh. ‘OK,’ she’d said. ‘That’d be lovely. Thanks, Liz.’

  It was early evening, and the square was at its most alive. There were street performers and Senegalese guys selling silver discs which they threw up into the air with a stick, which stayed up in the sky for what seemed like minutes, suspended as if in mid-air, before coming down again. The glare of the discs as they caught the evening sun flashed on the building opposite, as the three girls sat in silence, watching children jump up and down, screaming with excitement. A priest came out of the church and hurried across the square, smiling indulgently at the children, scowling at the street-sellers. Tourists and locals ambled past—the early evening passeggiata, the stroll through the streets, had begun.

  ‘This time tomorrow,’ Liz said dreamily. ‘Ah, it’s sad to think we’ll be back home.’

  ‘I know,’ said Claire. ‘I think we’re doing the right thing, leaving early, but it’s still—’

  ‘I know,’ said Tess. ‘I know. You two could have stayed, though.’

  ‘I didn’t mean that,’ Claire said. ‘I want to come home with everyone. We did this as a group, we should go home as a group. It’s just it’s been so wonderful—and now it’s over.’ She said impulsively, ‘Oh, Tess, do tell us. What’s the story with Adam and Mrs Mortmain? Is he really her long-lost grandson? Of course—if you can’t say anything then don’t. But I’m so curious, we all are.’ She clasped her hands together. ‘Is it true?’

  Tess said, ‘It’s a long story. And I don’t know most of it myself, yet.’

  ‘Where’s he been today, do you know?’

  ‘No idea. I was just wondering myself.’ Since they had parted abruptly at midday she had not heard from him. She told herself that was typical Adam, he hadn’t changed that much after all, he was always flaky. He was probably off looking at the Pantheon or, more likely, chatting up some random Italian girl, or even Dr Veltroni, who had taken rather a shine to him—and he wouldn’t even have to remember her name, since it was the same as his supposed girlfriend’s, Tess thought cattily.

  Claire nodded. ‘Oh, I see. Sorry.’ She saw that Tess wasn’t going to give her any more information, and said, ‘Well, we’ll find out, I’m sure.’

  ‘I hope so,’ said Tess, trying not to sound dismissive. Liz nodded.

  ‘Well, anyway, you’re right. It has been a wonderful week,’ she said. ‘I wish we weren’t going home.’

  Tess nodded in agreement, looking at Liz in sympathy. It was true, but it was also true that what lay in wait for her at home was not so wonderful, compared to the life she’d been living this past week. Her old-lady life in Langford, replete with trips to tea shops, constant rain and bad fashion. Hell, she had spent fifteen minutes one Saturday night in April balancing fondant fancies into a pyramid shape on a cake stand. Let alone the fact that she had unwittingly started buying the same clothes as the population of Langford. When Jan Allingham started complimenting you on your look it was long overdue time for a makeover.

  But this week with Peter had transformed her, she thought, as the warm evening sun shone on her bare arms. She wasn’t ready to put on reading glasses and get a subscription to People’s Friend. Not yet.

  She was going to see him later, he was coming to the hotel. One last night…one more time, a few snatched hours with him. Tess could see him so clearly, as if he were in front of her, and the power of her feelings for him shocked her. He made her feel alive. She hardly knew him, but it didn’t really seem to matter. And this time tomorrow she would be back home again…She turned impulsively to the other two.

  ‘Do you like living in Langford?’ she asked them. ‘Are you ready to go back?’

  ‘I don’t live in Langford,’ Claire said sheepishly. ‘I live in Salisbury, do you remember? We had that conversation once, about the cathedral there, and you said—’

  ‘Oh, yes, yes,’ said Tess, though she didn’t remember this at all. ‘Sorry, of course. What, so—how do you get to classes?’

  ‘I drive,’ said Claire simply.

  ‘But it must be about an hour each way?’

  ‘Yes, but it’s totally worth it,’ Claire said. ‘I have time to practise my language tapes in the car, and listen to audio books. It’s wonderful. That’s what part of me giving up my job was all about, trying something new, getting to spend more time on me.’

  Liz cleared her throat. ‘I’m not ready to go back, to answer your question,’ she said, ignoring Claire. ‘I love it here.’

  ‘Me too,’ said Tess. She hugged herself.

  ‘I could move here,’ said Liz. Her eyes followed a child running across the square; she smiled at him. ‘Quite happily. It makes me think, when I left London, why did I just drive west and plump for Langford? Why was I so ready to assume I couldn’t stay in London and just do something else? Like work for a pub theatre, instead of working at that vile agency? Or at a garden centre, or train as a teacher, or…’ She shrugged her shoulders. ‘I got here in April, and all my friends told me I was doing this amazing thing and now—well, I love it there but it’s hard, isn’t it? Moving into a new town.’ She looked at Tess. ‘Not for you—you know everyone there. But it’s hard.’

  Tess thought of the times she’d seen Liz in the deli, or walked past her on the street, and had said hi and been perfectly friendly but never pursued the acquaintance at all. There was something a bit—what was it? Dubious, perhaps, about people so obviously desperate for attention, it made her want to shy away from them. She looked at Liz, then, and chided herself. Liz wasn’t desperate for attention. She was just a bit lonely. She’d been braver than Tess had, for goodness’ sake.

  ‘Are you thinking you might leave, then?’ Tess asked her. ‘Move to Rome, maybe?’ She was half joking, but Liz nodded.

  ‘Maybe. Not Rome, necessarily. Paris, perhaps! Or Madrid. I’ve always wanted to learn Spanish.’

  ‘I’m learning Spanish,’ said Claire. ‘In the car, it’s wonderful.’ She beamed at Liz. ‘It’s stuff like that, I mean, you get to do when you give yourself a bit more time. I’ve been pressing flowers, you know. And making salsa with my own tomatoes! I couldn’t have done that last year, could I? Aren’t the three of us lucky!’ She raised her glass, and Liz, slightly ruefully, clinked hers with her. They turned
to Tess.

  Tess stared at her, feeling a rising panic. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Yes, lucky.’ She raised her glass to clink theirs, but their faces had changed, and they both smiled girlishly.

  ‘Oh, hello,’ Liz said, a little too enthusiastically.

  Tess said, ‘What?’

  ‘Tess,’ came a voice behind her. ‘Hi.’

  She turned around. There was Adam. In the uncertain evening light he loomed over her, seemingly taller and darker than before.

  ‘I’ve been looking for you,’ he said. The two others started fussing over him, as if he were a celebrity.

  ‘Adam, sit down and have a glass with us,’ Claire cried. ‘There’s plenty left.’ She swallowed. ‘So. Gosh. How—how are you?’

  Adam looked down at her. ‘Who are you?’ he said. ‘I’m sorry,’ he added, correcting himself, as Claire blushed awfully.

  ‘This is Claire,’ said Liz, patting Claire’s hand. ‘Hi, Adam.’

  ‘I know who you are,’ he said, shaking her hand and smiling. ‘It’s nice to see a friendly face. I’m sorry,’ he said, turning to Claire and taking her hand in his. ‘That was really rude of me.’

  ‘No, no,’ Claire hastened to assure him. ‘I’m sorry about your grandmother,’ she added. ‘Is she—’

  ‘She’s still alive,’ said Adam briefly. ‘That’s what I came to find Tess for. I need some information to give the hospital, and I need your group insurance number.’ He patted her curtly on the shoulder. ‘I’m sorry to disturb your drinks.’

  There was something about the way he said your drinks, as if they were lolling around on cushions drinking champagne and eating sweetmeats while Leonora Mortmain was calling out for their help. Tess got up.

  ‘Do you need it now? Let’s go back to the hotel and I’ll find it for you.’

  ‘I don’t want to disturb—’

  ‘No,’ she said, equally curtly. ‘I’m meeting Peter in a bit, so I’d better do it now. Let’s go. Hope that’s OK.’ She turned to the girls.