by Silhouettes
Her eyes bugged. “Did you kill somebody? I hope you didn’t kill—”
“No, nothing like that either,” I lied. “I was asked to do some investigative shit for someone, and he paid me for doin’ it. You gotta trust me on this, and from what you know about me, you know I ain’t ever been the kind of nigga on no corner slingin’ dope. This was all about helpin’ somebody out. I can’t get into any more details because I promised him that it would be our secret. You already know how good I am at keepin’ secrets.”
Ms. Macklin was reluctant to believe me. “I hope you’re not lying to me, Prince. I’m not sure about this.”
“No matter what, money is money, ma, and I just paid to be with you tonight. Are you up to takin’ care of me, or would you prefer that I pack it up and go?”
Money could always make people see things in a different light, and Ms. Macklin was no different. The kiss I’d been waiting for finally arrived, and, rushing to get at me, she peeled off my shirt. She squatted down and pulled my jeans and boxers to my ankles. Giving me nothing but pleasure with her mouth, I stood with my eyes closed. I pumped her mouth and held her head steady as she delivered an immaculate performance. It didn’t take long for my legs to weaken, and the fear of them buckling underneath me made me request that she stop. I backed away from her and we resumed our festivities on the couch. She poured her legs over my shoulders, and as I rubbed my thick head against her slit to moisten it, she stopped me.
“A condom,” she said. “I have to go get a condom.”
“Not right now,” I said, already guiding myself inside of her. “I won’t cum inside of you. I’ll pull out.”
“What about—”
“I ain’t been havin’ sex with nobody. I’m good, so don’t worry. No STDs.”
She complained, but I was already inside of her juicy, heated pocket. It was soaking wet, and I skillfully stroked her, slapping my thighs against her fat ass. I made sure she felt every inch of my throbbing meat. Her mouth stayed open, sucking in air and spewing dirty words that made me fuck her harder. She demanded that I have her my way, and for the next hour or so, I treated her like a rag doll, turning her from one position to the next.
Afterward, I was spent and so was she. We lay sprawled out in her bed, naked and sharing a joint.
“I know you don’t want to talk about this, but I really, really miss seeing you at school. I wish you would come back. Can’t you at least do it for me?”
“No. I’m not comin’ back, so drop it.”
I laid the joint in an ashtray and lightly ran my hands down her smooth backside. We lay silent for a while, but her head popped up when she heard the doorbell ring.
“Stay here,” she said, rushing out of her bedroom and making her way to the front door.
A few minutes later, I heard a man’s voice talking. As the pitch got louder, the voice sounded very familiar to me. It was Coach Johnson’s voice, and when it got closer to the bedroom, I slowly sat up and rested my back against the headboard. I didn’t bother to put on any clothes, as he obviously knew I was there. He appeared in the doorway, with Ms. Macklin pushing him back, asking him to leave.
I smirked at him, then reached for the joint to take a hit.
Coach Johnson moved Ms. Macklin away from the door and entered the room. “You’re a sorry muthafucka,” he spat. “And if you think this shit is over, you are sadly mistaken. For the life of me”—he looked at Ms. Macklin—“I cannot believe you’re that damn desperate to open your legs up to somebody like him. What . . . what in the hell is wrong with you, Patrice?”
“Go,” she ordered. “Don’t make me have to call the police. You can’t show up like this without calling.”
“Since when?” he shouted. “Since you started fucking him? Give me a break. After everything that I do for you, this is how you treat me?”
“You do nothing for me, certainly not more than what you do for your wife. Go home to her, like you always do, and stop coming over here demanding things from me and trying to run my life.”
Coach Johnson turned his anger to me again. “If you think, for one minute, that she ain’t still throwing that pussy at me, then you’re crazy. This woman loves me. Where you lie tonight, I’ll be lying tomorrow. As a matter of fact, it was just, what, two days ago that I claimed your spot. Don’t let the smooth taste fool you. You will, no doubt, see me again.”
I got out of bed and started to put on my clothes. This was too much bullshit for me, and I couldn’t care less about Ms. Macklin’s relationship with Coach Johnson. I was getting what I wanted, and there was nothing but a sex thing going on between us.
“No need to hurry,” I said to Coach Johnson. “I’m leaving, and you can stay here and argue with her all night for all I care. I ain’t got no beef with you, nigga, but if you keep on threatenin’ me and talkin’ that shit, maybe I will.”
I left the bedroom, passing by Coach Johnson and Ms. Macklin as they stood by the door. She followed me into the living room to get my shirt, and on my way out she kissed my cheek.
“We’ll talk soon,” she said.
I pursed my lips, not really caring when her version of “soon” would be. I couldn’t be swooned over no pussy; it was coming at me a dime a dozen. I never had that urge in me to fight over it, and the fight in Coach Johnson’s office that day was because that fool had put his hands on me first. If he didn’t back off, though, I was gon’ get after his ass real soon. As for Ms. Macklin, she was now labeled like all of the rest of the females in my life. Without saying it, my thoughts of her weren’t good.
For three days, I sat around in my cramped studio doing the norm: watching TV, playing video games, lifting weights, flipping through porn magazines, reading, and spending hours on the Internet. I had wanted to stop by Mama’s house to check on her, but I wasn’t feeling up to it. When my cell phone rang, though, I thought it was her. Instead, I got the shock of my life when I heard Romeo’s voice.
“What in the hell is up?” I smiled.
“Same ol’, same ol’,” he laughed. “Just takin’ it day by day. It’s slow motion up in here, but what can I do? Gotta make the best of my situation, you know?”
“I feel you, but why you ain’t been tryin’ to get at a nigga?”
“Are you crazy? I’ve been writin’ yo’ ass, but the letters came back to me. Finally, your mama answered the phone and gave me this number so I could reach you. I thought yo’ ass skipped town or somethin’.”
“Nah, nothin’ like that. But when I found out what had happened, I just wanted to hurt somebody. I can’t believe it went down like that, and how. . . how you feel about thirty muthafuckin’ years?”
“Elated!” he laughed. “Hell, naw, nigga, I feel like shit. But what can I do but do my time and someday look forward to gettin’ the hell out of here.”
“I’m surprised to hear you say that. You soundin’ all giddy and shit, but I know this shit ain’t really sittin’ right with you.”
“No, it ain’t. And some days I’m up, but many days I’m down. I try not to let it get to me, but like I said, what can I do?”
“I guess you’re right, but, I mean, how is it? I can’t even see you bein’ in there. What location . . .”
“They sent my ass to a correctional facility in Bonne Terre, Missouri. I’m sure I’ll be transferred to another facility soon. Man, they really see me as a threat, but we know better, don’t we? Other than that, it’s awful. Beds are hard as hell, it’s always dry and musty in my cell, the food ain’t worth a damn, niggas always trying to punk me, and my sly-ass roomy be drivin’ me crazy. I got so much shit to tell you, but I’m gon’ write you, a’ight?”
“I got so much to tell you too. You ain’t gon’ believe all the shit that done happened. I need to hook you up with some money, so let me know where I can send it to.”
“Money and books. I be bored as hell. I even started writing a story of my own. You gon’ like this shit, too. It’s all about soldiers like you and me.”
>
“I can’t wait to read it. And if anybody got a story to tell, it’s brothas like us, ain’t it? We’ve definitely been through some shit to write about.”
“Hell, yeah!” he laughed. “Also, I wanted to tell you that I found out about my grandmother. I understand why you didn’t tell me, but, man, you should have come clean.”
“I wanted to, but you was already goin’ through a lot. Who told you about her, your uncle?”
“Yeah, he came to see me before they sent me away. My grandmother left me a bunch of shit in her will, but too bad I can’t get at it. Guess I gotta wait until I get out, but the days are tickin’ away,” he joked.
I rubbed my head, feeling good about speaking to him, but sad that it was under these conditions. We talked for a while longer, and I gave Romeo my new address so he could write me. I was okay after talking to him, and when I ended my call with him, I called Cedric to see what he was up to. He said he and some of his friends were at the YMCA shooting hoops, and I told him I was on my way.
Before going to the YMCA, I drove around, showing off Romeo’s car that I’d had repainted the same color. The radio system I had hooked up was blasting Drake’s latest hit, and as I cased the north side, people kept turning their heads. Some looked at me with disgust, while others bobbed their heads to my music. Yeah, I liked that shit, and when I spotted this thick-booty chick walking down the street, I sped up to check her out. As I got closer, I saw that it was Nadine. From the back, she looked pretty damn good. Her front, though, was a mess. Her belly was hanging low, her face had gotten fatter, and she looked mean as hell. She still looked like Raven-Symoné, though, and I had to admit, she was very pretty. I slowly cruised by her, and when I looked in my rearview mirror, I noticed her head hanging low. She wiped her eyes and almost tripped on something in front of her. Something inside of me wouldn’t allow me to keep on driving, so I pulled my car over. When she strolled by, she turned her head and saw that it was me. I lowered my window.
“Ay, where you goin’?” I asked.
She slightly bent down and looked into the car. “Why you worried about it?”
“I’m not. I just asked.”
“Home,” she said, continuing to walk off.
I slowly drove next to her. “Get in and let me take you home.”
Nadine hesitated, but opened the car door to get in. Instead of driving her home, I drove to Fairground Park and parked my car.
She got all antsy and started rolling her neck. “I hope you didn’t bring me here to have sex with you. That ain’t ever happening again, and if that’s what you came here for, you can take me home.”
“Never say never, but, uh, no, that’s not why I brought you here. I need to say somethin’ to you, but please listen before you start runnin’ your mouth.”
She pursed her lips, but turned to give me her attention.
I looked down at her belly. “How much longer you got?”
“Two months, why?” she snapped.
“Can you stop with the attitude?”
“As a matter of fact, I can’t. Every time I see you, it just irks the hell out of me. And you know why, Prince? Do you really want to know why?”
“I already know why, but I know you’re dyin’ to tell me yourself.”
“Because you played the shit out of me. You did me so, so wrong and left me to deal with something that I was in no way ready for. I’ve already quit school, and my mother and me argue almost every damn day about this baby. I am stressed out, and there are days that I just want to kill myself. You, on the other hand, are riding around all high and mighty, being with all your little girlfriends. You act like you don’t have a care or worry in the world. In the meantime, I’m losing my mind. I don’t know what kind of good I can bring to this baby, and, thanks to you, I have become nothing but a statistic.” She paused to wipe the tears from her eyes.
“Are you done, ma?” I asked, not sure how to handle her emotions. She didn’t respond, so I continued. “All I can say is that you are so wrong about me around here livin’ all high and mighty. I’m dealin’ with some shit too. You have no idea how severe—”
“I don’t care what you’re dealing with. Nothing you’re going through can be more painful than what I’m going through at seventeen years old!”
“I’m not goin’ to sit here and argue with you about who got the most problems. Shit, we both do, and that’s obvious. All I wanted to say to you is, I don’t really know if this baby is mine—”
She put her hand on the doorknob to exit. “Why do you keep saying that shit?” she screamed. “I’m tired of hearing it, Prince. You know damn well that this baby is yours.”
I grabbed her arm. “Would you calm down and listen? You gon’ have one fucked-up baby if yo’ ass don’t stop stressin’ over stupid shit.”
“We gon’ have a fucked-up baby. I don’t care what you say, and I don’t care who else at that school is claiming to be pregnant by you, but this here baby,” she said, pointing to her stomach and continuously wiping her tears, “this is yours!”
“Okay, fine. So, maybe it is. Now what, Nadine? If it’s mine, then I’ll deal with it when the time comes.”
“Well, it’s coming soon.”
“Good. Now stop charging at a nigga like a pit bull, and hear what I’m sayin’ to you. I think it may be mine, but if it ain’t, I swear I’m goin’ to hurt you for playin’ games and puttin’ my business out there on the street. There’s just so many females out here lyin’ on me, and even though I had sex with most of them, sometimes I didn’t even cum. I know you were a virgin when we got together, and yo’ shit was chokin’ me every time I got in it. So, maybe I do believe you and I admit to possibly bein’ in denial. Forgive me, a’ight?”
She rolled her eyes and cracked a tiny smile. She then lightly pushed my head to the side with her finger. “Big denial. It’s good to hear you talkin’ like you got some sense, and I hope your kindness lasts.”
“Don’t count on it, but I need you to do a couple of favors for me.”
“I should have known it was something. What is it?”
I started the car, and pulled away from the curb. “First,” I said, “I want you to go back to school. Ain’t no need for your baby to have two damn parents without high school diplomas. Someday that shit may be too embarrassing to explain.”
“Then why don’t you go back to school?”
“I would, but you’re much smarter than me. I choose you.”
“That’s not so. You’re smart too, Prince, and if I have to stay at home to take care of our baby, then what’s going to be your excuse?”
“It’s this thing called life that’s standin’ in my way. I ain’t quite figured it out yet, and I’m tryin’ like a muthafucka to get a better understandin’.”
“I feel you on that, but I don’t know about the school thing yet. I gotta see how all of this plays out. If I can figure out a way to do it, I will.”
“Try hard. For you, it will be worth it. More so than for me.”
“I disagree, but you ain’t ever been one to listen to me. The way you play ball, you are bound to get a scholarship. How can you let an opportunity like that pass you by?”
“I used to be passionate about playin’ ball, but not anymore. Like I said, and I won’t say it again, school is a closed chapter in my life.”
Nadine sat silently. When we got to her house, I reached underneath the seat and pulled out a black plastic bag. I counted out $7,000 and laid it on her lap.
“That’s one grand for every month that you’ve been pregnant. Get some things for your baby.”
Her eyes were stuck on the money and she flipped through it. “Is this real? And it’s our baby, not just mine.”
“Okay, then our baby. I don’t know if or when I’ll be able to kick you out anything else, and it’s all I can do for right now. Besides, I’m still not one hundred percent sure about bein’ the father, and—”
Nadine covered my mouth. “Yes, you are, so s
top saying it. You’ll have proof when he’s born, and I want a sincere apology when you have to admit to him being one hundred percent yours.”
“And you’ll get it.”
Nadine took the money from her lap and put it into her purse. “Where did you get this from? Are you selling drugs?”
“Why every time somebody around here got some money, they gotta be sellin’ drugs?”
“’Cause that’s how it is around here. Now, if you want me to pretend otherwise, I can.”
“I got a job doin’ some investigative work and I’m paid very well for doin’ it.”
Nadine cut her eyes, in total disbelief of what I’d said. Still, she thanked me for the money, and looked over at me before she got out of the car.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Ain’t you gon’ kiss me or something? I know you want a kiss from me.”
I laughed my ass off and slapped my leg. “Hell, nah, ma! It ain’t goin’ down like that. I ain’t tryin’ to hook up with yo’ crazy ass again. The spit action was enough, and you can’t spit on me and then try to give me some pussy.”
“I can do whatever I want to do, and you shouldn’t have been running around here denying our baby.”
“Good-bye, Nadine. Go inside and shake off some of that madness you still talkin’.”
“Are you going to take me to the mall next week so I can get some things for the baby?”
I sighed. “Look, I ain’t into all of that shit. That’s why I gave the money to you. For now, my participation will be minimal. Accept what I’m sayin’ and run with it. Besides, I may be in one of my moods next week and don’t want to be bothered.”
Nadine got out of the car looking much happier than she was when I had first seen her. I was glad about that, and was serious as hell about her returning to school. I hoped she listened, as, now, her future was just as important as mine.
Chapter 14
After talking to Nadine about my son, I was starting to get a slight grip on my life. It seemed like I had something good to look forward to, and if a baby was going to change my life around, then I was all for it. Meanwhile, I felt bad about abruptly leaving Ms. Macklin’s apartment that day and not calling her. Yeah, we had this sex thing going on, but I in no way wanted her to feel as if she was being used by me, even though we were using each other. When I stopped by her apartment the other night, she didn’t come to the door. I knew how to get in touch with her if I wanted to, and that was by going up to the school. I glanced at my watch, and saw that fifth hour was just about ready to start. Since I no longer went to school, I wasn’t sure if the security guards would let me in, but it was worth a try.