by T. L. Haddix
“You do?” He was able to move his thumbs still, and he brushed them across the hardened tips. Her breath caught, and she turned her head. This time when she bit down on his neck, the nip was more aggressive.
That did it. If he didn’t get her under him and fast, he was going to take her on the desk. Moving fast, he freed his hands and clasped one of hers, leading her out the office door and toward the bedroom. Once they were beside his bed, he used momentum to swing her around to stand in front of him. Without hesitation, he stripped his shirt off, then reached for the hem on hers.
Sydney was there ahead of him, whipping the T-shirt over her head so fast that it almost beat his to the floor. Her hands were on his waistband, fumbling with the button. Sawyer gently brushed them out of the way and undid them, letting them fall with his underwear to the floor. When she reached out to touch his erection, he grabbed her hands.
“Not this time.”
“Hurry,” she whispered as she dropped her own shorts, kicking them aside.
Thank God for condoms, he thought as he laid her on the bed, then opened the drawer to scramble for a foil packet. Not because he wanted a barrier between them, but because that barrier might dull the sensations enough that he didn’t embarrass himself once he was inside her.
Sydney was waiting for him eagerly, her hips moving restlessly even as her legs were pressed tightly together, her knees bent. “It’s been a while,” she confessed shyly. “I want you but this might be a little rocky.”
The words knocked a tiny bit of his urgent need down, and he forced himself to slow down, not to pounce on her. “Okay.”
He climbed on the bed, putting his hands on her knees. The skin was smooth, and later he’d spend time getting to know every inch of her body. But for right now? His focus was on the skin and wetness between her legs. He ran his hands down her legs to her hips, grateful when she opened for him. From there, he slid his right hand down to cup her, his thumb curving around to slide through her slick arousal.
Sydney arched up off the bed, gasping. Her hands clenched the bedspread beside her hips, and a deep flush covered her chest. “Now, please.”
Sawyer couldn’t speak. Kneeling between her legs, he used his left hand to guide himself to her entrance, not wanting to move his right hand from where it rested. He moved slowly but steadily, sliding inside her with a long, continuous stroke that left both of them gasping and breathless.
Letting his body down on top of hers, he was gratified to feel her legs come up, locking behind him as he withdrew and plunged back in. She was so tight around him, clenching so hard when he thrust, he could barely stand it, it felt so good. Setting a fast rhythm, he let his body take over.
When he felt her come apart, he followed her over the edge, burying his face in her neck as the climax overtook him.
Long minutes later, they’d come down enough to move. Her body was still clenching rhythmically around him, causing intense aftershocks to chase up his spine. He raised up enough that he could see her face.
“Okay?”
“Mmm, yes. You?”
“Oh, yeah.” He moved to the side, taking some of his weight off her.
Sydney moved with him, keeping a leg around his hips. She didn’t say anything, just snuggled up to him a bit as she ran her hands over his chest and abdomen.
Sawyer had never been a cuddler, but this, he didn’t mind. This was different. He cared for Sydney. The intimacy didn’t bother him the way it might with someone else. He brushed her hair back, pressing kisses to her temple and her cheek as they recovered their energy.
Instead of the self-recrimination he’d feared, he felt an intense satisfaction. He wouldn’t think about the repercussions right now. He was too busy feeling, too busy being in the moment.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Sydney could not move. Even after Sawyer got up and went to the bathroom to dispose of the condom, she stayed on the bed trying to get her head to stop spinning. When he came back out and approached, running a hand up her leg, she stretched languidly.
“I hope you aren’t going to throw me out now that you’ve had your way with me because I don’t have a muscle or bone in my body.”
“I’d have to turn in my man card if I threw you out.” He trailed his fingers up over her hip, across her belly, and between her breasts to curve around her shoulder as he leaned down and kissed her. “But I am going to get something to drink. Want something?”
“Water’d be great. Please?”
“On its way.” He snagged his boxers off the floor and tugged them on. She shamelessly watched him the whole time. When he noticed, he smiled. “What?”
“Just enjoying the view.”
Sawyer laughed. “Yeah? I could say the same.” He winked at her, but there was very real heat in his eyes as his gaze traveled from her head to her toes.
After he left, she forced herself to get up. Grabbing the T-shirt he’d had on, she pulled it over her head as she walked toward the bathroom. Her knees were weak and for a moment, she didn’t think she was going to be able to make it across the room.
“That’d be bad—he comes back from the kitchen and you’re collapsed in post-orgasmic tremors on the floor.”
When she came out, he was setting the cheesecake down on the nightstand, along with two bottles of water.
“I thought you might appreciate these,” he said as he handed her glasses to her.
“Absolutely. Thank you.” She put them on, then accepted a bottle of water.
They eyed each other as they drank. The humor of the moment got to Sydney, and she had to swallow hastily or else risk choking. When a laugh sputtered out, Sawyer quirked his eyebrows.
“What’s funny?”
“Nothing. Just us.” She set the water down and closed the distance between them. “Thank you for today. For this evening. It’s been fun.”
Sawyer’s hands came up under the edge of the shirt, resting on her bare hips as he pulled her into him. “It’s been my pleasure. All of it, not just what happened here. And I’m glad you’ve had fun—I do try to throw all my guests into the pond at least once before they leave.”
Sydney chuckled. Running her hands over his arms, shoulders, and upper chest, she let her body relax into his. “If that’s the case, I wonder that you ever get lucky.”
A peculiar stillness came over him, and his hands tightened just enough that she felt it. “I don’t bring my dates here. I don’t… I’ve always tried to keep that part of my life separate from everything else.”
“Oh.” She tilted her head. “Does it make you uncomfortable that I’m… that we’ve… that we were together here?” she finally settled on asking.
“No. Not at all. I didn’t mean it that way.” He rested his forehead against hers. “And this has been fun. Not that I want the evening to end now, mind you. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve enjoyed today, too.”
Sydney sent him a quirky smile. “Of course it can’t end yet. We’ve not had the cheesecake.”
When she turned to reach for one of the plates, Sawyer used her momentum to whip her around, pressing her back to his front as he lowered his head to the curve of her neck and nipped.
“Cheesecake is not what I was thinking about when I said ‘fun’,” he said, his voice husky as his right hand slid across her hip and dipped between her thighs to cup her, his fingers probing with a sure-handed confidence that left her gasping. At the same time, he brought her left hand around behind her with his to press into his erection. He was so big her hand barely fit around him, and the memory of how he’d felt inside her as well as the movement of his fingers between her legs now, made her moan.
“No?” she managed to whisper.
“No. Want to guess what I have in mind?”
Sydney shivered, desire coursing through h
er. “Maybe you should show me.”
He did. The cheesecake sat forgotten for well over an hour after that, and Sydney couldn’t have cared less.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Sawyer found himself wrapped around Sydney, his thigh between her legs, the next morning. Thanks to the blackout curtains, the bedroom was still mostly dark, though daylight was visible around the edges of the windows and from the hall. He hadn’t had time to wake up fully, much less roll over, when her phone rang.
“Ugh, what time is it?” she groaned, reaching out blindly to the nightstand. She grabbed the phone. “Hello?”
“Syd? Did I wake you?”
Sawyer could hear Danny clearly on the other end of the call as he was still snuggled close to Sydney.
“Of course you woke me. What time is it?”
“Um… Nine fifteen?”
“Nine… What? You’re kidding.”
That woke her up. She sat halfway up, dislodging Sawyer as she pushed her hair out of her face and held the phone away from her ear to look at the display.
“Oh, my gosh. Oh, Danny, I’m sorry. I forgot about you!”
The other man laughed. “Well, get up and come let me in. I brought coffee.”
She sat up fully, and there was just enough light that Sawyer could make out the outline of her biting her lip. “I would do that, but I’m… I’m not home.”
There was a long pause. “You’re not home?”
“No.”
Danny cleared his throat. “But you’re still in bed?”
“Yes?”
“Not your bed.”
“We’ve already established that,” she said, rubbing her forehead with her free hand. “I’m, um, at a friend’s.”
Another pause, this one shorter, then a snort. “Oh, my God. You’re not alone, are you?” Danny’s laughter rang out. “You’re not!”
Sydney fell back onto the bed with a mangled groan, the hand holding the phone falling into her lap. “He’s enjoying this way too much.”
Sawyer grinned. He kissed her bare shoulder and slid out of bed. “Morning, sunshine.”
When he came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, she was still in bed, though she was sitting up.
“You two were going to do something?” he asked.
“Just hang out some, maybe do some shopping or whatever. He, um, he knows it’s you. That I spent the night with, I mean.”
“Okay. Did you tell him or did he guess?”
“He guessed.” She ran her hands through her hair, gathering it into an unfastened ponytail. “I’m sorry. I figured he’d probably know eventually—he is my best friend and yes, we do gossip about things—but I wanted to talk to you first.”
Sawyer sat on the edge of the bed beside her. “I’m not surprised he guessed. And it’s okay. I’m not ashamed of what we did.”
“I’m not, either,” she said, reaching out to clasp his hand. “But that said, the fewer people who know about us, the better I think we’ll be. Especially people in my family. Once we… once things are not like this,” she said, gesturing to the bed, “I don’t want to damage your relationship with the family. There’s no reason for them to know. This is between us.”
He didn’t know how he felt about that. “Oh.”
She looked down at their hands. “If the family knows, they might put well-intentioned pressure on us to make things more permanent than we’re comfortable with. And I don’t want that for either of us. What we did here, assuming we don’t just write this off as a night out of time, it shouldn’t be tempered by imaginary or implied expectations.”
“What about exclusivity?” He had to ask. He had a pretty damned good idea what her answer would be, but then again, she’d kind of floored him with her logical view of what they’d done. “I’m not much on long-term commitments, but I won’t be with anyone else while we’re together.”
Sydney lifted the back of his hand to her mouth and pressed a hard kiss there. “Good. I feel the same. I promise. Is that… are we okay then?”
“Yeah.” He kissed her forehead, sliding his mouth down to her temple. “We’re good.”
She laughed and tickled his belly. “I thought so.”
“Imp.” He fell back on the bed, drawing her with him so that she was draped across him. “So are you meeting Danny later?”
“Mmm, this afternoon,” she said as she traced the light smattering of hair on his chest and stomach.
When her hands went further, cupping his erection, Sawyer drew in a breath.
“You hold that thought,” she murmured even as she brushed a kiss across his belly button. “I’ll be right back.” She jumped up and dashed to the bathroom.
He didn’t exhale fully until the door closed behind her. No, he didn’t want anything permanent and serious with Sydney. But with her being so reasonable about the direction of their relationship, damned if he didn’t feel almost like he’d lost something.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Even though Sydney didn’t speak a word of where she’d been Friday night, people were starting to ask questions. The family was at the farm for Sunday dinner, and in the kitchen before the meal, Sarah commented on Sydney’s demeanor.
“You can’t stop smiling, young lady. I know you’re happy Eli’s back in the country and doing better, and that Noah and Molly are home safely, but something tells me there’s more to your attitude than that. Who is he?”
“A girl can’t just be happy, Grandma?” Sydney teased, planting a kiss on Sarah’s cheek.
Sarah tugged on her ponytail. “Of course she can. But I’ve known you since you were born. Out with it. Dish.”
Sydney laughed, even as her cheeks flushed at the idea of admitting she was having an affair. “He’s… we’re just… it isn’t a relationship. We’re just playing. Just having fun.”
“Do we know him?” Emma asked, her eyes alight with curiosity. She leaned in across the counter. “Where’d you meet? She was all mysterious with her Daddy Friday, and he just about drove me nuts trying to find out what I know, which is exactly nothing. I’m supposed to grill you today.”
Sydney stuck her tongue out at Emma. “You’ve met him, and how we got involved isn’t important. Like I said, we’re just playing. And I love you all dearly,” she said, looking around the kitchen at her mother, grandmother, and Rachel. “But this is private.”
She took a dish of mashed potatoes through to the dining room, catcalls following her through the door. No way they’d let it go, she thought, even though she really hoped they would. But to her surprise, though she endured a little more teasing throughout the meal, they didn’t ask again. She thought she’d gotten away without having to face an inquisition, but when she got ready to leave late that afternoon, Rachel got up, too.
“I’ll head out with you.”
“Okay. Is Easton excited about going back to school in a few weeks?” Sydney asked as they walked.
“Yes. He’s trying to pretend he’s an old hand at it now, since this is his second year and all, but he’s got a bit of a kid-in-a-candy-store air about him. Are you sleeping with Sawyer?”
Sydney came to a dead stop, staring at Rachel in shock as she tried to figure out how to answer. “What?”
“I know you’re an adult. I know it’s private. But Syd, he’s… He doesn’t do forever after.”
“Are you warning me off because you’re worried about me or concerned about what it would mean for you—if I were sleeping with him, I mean?”
Rachel sent her an exasperated look. “Please. You know we’re only friends, always have been. I don’t want to see either of you get hurt. Is it him?”
Sydney crossed her arms and looked down the driveway. “I don’t expect forever after with him, Aunt Rachel. I’ll settle for a short period o
f happiness. I’m not sure I’m looking for something permanent either, as far as that goes. I don’t know if I can ever trust someone enough to yield that much control to them again.”
Rachel didn’t say anything for a long minute, just studied her. “He’s a good man. And the two of you bring something out in each other I’ve not seen anyone else do. No, not even Adam,” she said before Sydney could ask. “Especially not Adam. I won’t say anything to the rest of the family. But if you need me, if you need to talk or need me to kick his ass for you? I’ll be there. Okay?”
“Okay.” Sydney hugged her. “Thank you. I don’t want anyone to know because when it does end, it’ll be awkward enough. He shouldn’t lose the family just because we spent some time together off the books. And if everyone knows… You understand?”
“I do.”
As she drove home, Sydney wondered if she could continue being so damned mature about things. Sawyer had turned her inside out and upside down Friday night. He was a demanding lover, taking as much as he gave and not letting her hardly catch her breath.
“I can see why Monique was so eager to renew their fling,” she admitted. She was still pleasantly sore from everything they’d done and it’d been more than twenty-four hours since she’d left him. At the same time, she was half tempted to drive to his house for round two instead of going home and taking care of her chores like she needed to do.
She resisted, though. “No point in burning out faster, Syd. Stretch it out, make it last. Make some memories.”
It wouldn’t last. It couldn’t. She knew that. And she wouldn’t ask him for anything more than what he was prepared to give. She might not have too much pride to accept whatever affection Sawyer was willing to give for as long as he was willing to give it, but she sure as hell had too much pride to beg him for more.