by T. L. Haddix
Knowing everyone in her family would be there, Sydney decided to seize the opportunity.
“What would you think about getting married at the farm when we have the party?” she asked Sawyer that night. They were curled up in his bed, holding each other as they wound down from the day. “I don’t particularly want a big wedding unless you do. Danny could perform it, and we could sneak your family in.”
“You mean not even tell them we’re having a wedding until we show up and get hitched?” he asked. He raised up on an elbow. “Seriously?”
She nodded. “Unless you want the big shindig, yes. I don’t particularly want to wait the months it’s going to take to plan a big to-do, though.”
He traced her hairline. “Sooner definitely works better for me. The faster I can make you swear to obey me, the happier I’ll be.”
Sydney reached down and grabbed him, making him grimace even as he chuckled. “You really think that’s going to do one bit of good?” she whispered.
“No, ma’am. And I hope it doesn’t. I wouldn’t change anything about you, you know that, right? I love you.”
She let her touch turn to a caress as they kissed. “I love you, too. So what do you say? Secret wedding?”
“Your grandparents will have to be in on it,” he warned.
“I figured as much. As long as the groom’s happy about it, we’ll work everything else out.”
“The groom is thrilled. Whatever steps we need to take to make you my wife, that’s what we’ll do.”
Two weeks minus one day later, Sydney was sitting on the floor at the farmhouse putting the finishing touches on a glass-jar votive.
Noah, who’d been strong-armed into helping, was scowling. “Why do women feel like they have to have these frilly things at a wedding, anyhow?” he asked as he tied a bow onto a jar.
Sarah, who was tying said frilly bows and handing them to him, laughed. “Oh, Noah. You are such a man. This wedding is almost as simple as the one your grandfather and I had. I can hardly wait to see everyone’s faces tomorrow when they show up and find out what’s going on.”
“You’re telling me,” Nan said from beside her. “I’m so excited to meet everyone.”
“Speaking of everyone, Grandpa and Sawyer should be getting here any minute with Sawyer’s brothers and Elise. Are you sure it’s not too much trouble to put everyone up here, Grandma?” Sydney asked.
Sarah looked at her from over the top of her reading glasses. “We are not having this discussion again, young lady.”
“Yeah, young lady,” Noah drawled. “When are you going to have some great-grandbabies? I appreciate you taking the heat off me, by the way.”
Instead of the joke making her laugh as he’d clearly expected it to, Sydney fell silent. She picked at the burlap ribbon around the jar in her lap.
“Syd? Did I say something wrong?” he asked.
She shook her head, swallowing against tears. “No. It’s just… I’m late.”
Sarah and Nan’s indrawn breaths told her they understood, but Noah just blinked at her. “Late for what?”
Sydney cringed. “Really? You don’t get that? Oh, geez, Noah, don’t make me explain.”
When he saw her acute embarrassment, realization set in. “You mean for your—ah, hell. I did not need to know that.” He scrambled to his feet. “I’m getting some air.”
Once the screen door had shut behind him, Sarah spoke. “Does Sawyer know? And just how late are we talking about?”
“Almost a month. I’ve not been able to tell him. I don’t know what it means.” She looked at Nan, who was frowning. “I don’t know if Sawyer’s mentioned anything to you about our family, about our… abilities.”
“Not really, no. Sydney, you know he can’t have children.”
Sydney wet her lips. “I do know that. But that might not be true exactly. You see, this will probably sound like science fiction, but every now and then I have this ability to feel people’s health. And once in a very rare while, I think I can heal them.”
There was silence in the living room as Nan looked from her to Sarah, who nodded.
Nan’s eyebrows shot up. “And Sawyer knows about this?”
“He does.”
Nan gave a little shake of her head. “Can everyone in your family do that?”
“No. Mine isn’t the only ability, but the rest aren’t my secrets. I can’t tell you. I hope you understand that.”
“I do.” She scooted to the edge of the couch, reaching a hand out to tip Sydney’s chin up. “Have you taken a test yet?”
“I’m afraid to. I’ve had one in my bag for a couple of weeks now, since right after we got back from Pittsburgh.”
“Then don’t you think it’s time you did?”
“What if it’s negative?” she whispered.
“What if it isn’t?” Sarah countered.
“Maybe we’re not ready to be parents. The adoption route takes time. If I’m…” She couldn’t even bring herself to say pregnant. “That might be too soon for Sawyer.”
Sarah rolled her eyes. “You aren’t serious. Sydney Marie, go pee on the damned stick. Don’t make me call your mother.”
Nan snickered. “Does that work?” she asked Sarah.
“Apparently it does,” Sydney said as she got to her feet. She closed her eyes, sending a fast prayer out to the universe. “If it’s negative, you might have to explain it to Sawyer. I don’t know if I can or not.”
It took her ten minutes to get the courage up to take the test. There was no way it would be positive. None. She felt like she was cutting her heart out as she capped the end of the stick and laid it on the counter like the instructions directed. Unable to stand the pain, she fled the bathroom, only stopping to grab her shoes.
“I can’t wait to find out, can’t do this. It hurts too much,” she told her grandmother before heading to the barn.
She hadn’t been consciously trying to heal Sawyer when they were together. She knew first and foremost that it probably wouldn’t do a damned bit of good. And secondly, he didn’t deserve a wife who was constantly trying to change him. She knew that she had to accept his sterility as a done deal if she wanted to give their marriage a healthy start.
As to why she was so late, she figured it was probably a combination of stress and becoming sexually active again for the first time in years. There simply wasn’t any way she was pregnant. No matter how much she wished she was.
Chapter Sixty-Two
Inside the farmhouse, Sarah and Nan exchanged a look.
“Negative test or scared?” Nan asked.
“I don’t know. Let’s go see.”
They’d just reached the bathroom when the sound of car doors closing echoed through the house, and Sawyer came in the front door, smiling.
“Where’s Sydney?”
“Um, she went for a walk,” Sarah told him. “To the barn, she said.”
Sawyer, smart man, immediately picked up on her concern. “Sarah?”
In response, she went in the bathroom and picked up the test. “Well.”
Sawyer and Nan peaked in, and she turned, handing the stick to him without a word.
He looked at it with a blank scowl. “What’s this?”
“That’s a pregnancy test,” Sarah answered.
“I know that,” he said, staring at it. “Whose is it?”
“Well, it sure isn’t mine or Sarah’s,” Nan piped up. “What’s it say?”
Sawyer raised his head. “The barn, you said?”
“Yes.”
He turned and left without a word.
“Are you going to tell me or am I going to die of curiosity?” Nan asked Sarah.
She told her the results. “Though I’m not sure if that’s good o
r bad. Let’s go meet everyone, get them settled.” And pray, she thought, even though she didn’t say that out loud.
Chapter Sixty-Three
Sawyer’s heart was nearly beating him to death by the time he reached the barn. He hesitated outside the doors, looking down at the test. In the twilight, he couldn’t make out the results, but it had been seared onto his brain the moment he saw it in the house. Begging the universe he managed to find the right words, he opened the door and eased inside. The fairy lights they’d strung up for the wedding were on, giving the area a soft illumination.
Sydney was pacing at the far end of the wide aisle where they’d set the altar up for tomorrow. When she saw him, she closed her eyes, and he heard her sniff wetly.
“Why didn’t you tell me you thought you were pregnant?” he asked quietly as he approached her.
“Because I didn’t want to hurt you when the test was negative. I’m just late, that’s all. I can’t be pregnant. I know that.”
He slid the test in the pocket of his jeans and walked up to her, wrapping his arms around her from the back. “How late?”
“Since Pittsburgh. Before, really. It’s just stress. That’s happened to me a couple of times. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”
He snuggled his face into the curve of her neck, exposed by the scoop neck of the shirt she wore. “I love you.”
A tear splashed his arm as she nodded. “I love you, too. Can we just forget about this, please? Is everyone here?”
“Yeah. But it might be kind of hard to forget.” He pulled the test out and brought it around to her waist in front. “Didn’t you look at it?”
“What good is it going to do me to look at it?” she whispered. “Are you mad because I didn’t tell you?”
“No, sweetheart. I understand why you didn’t. But I really think you should look at this test.”
Something in his voice must have gotten through to her because Sydney went very still. “Sawyer?”
“It’s not negative.”
When her knees went out from under her, he caught her easily and lowered her to the makeshift wood floor they’d put down earlier that day. Sitting behind her, he held her up.
“What?” she gasped.
He raised the test so she could see it. Very clearly, it was positive.
“We’re pregnant,” he whispered, kissing her temple. “Sydney, we’re pregnant.”
She burst into tears. “We can’t be. How?” She took off her glasses and wiped her eyes, then reached up for the test, her hands shaking so badly he had to steady them as she looked at the tiny display screen. “How?”
“I don’t know. That magic Campbell touch, maybe. And honestly, I don’t care. As long as you’re healthy and the baby’s healthy, I can’t ask for anything more.”
Sydney turned and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his neck. “What about you? Oh, Sawyer. It has to be a mistake. What if it’s some kind of weird fluke, and something’s wrong? We need to get you checked out.”
He’d explained to her that there was an increased risk of testicular cancer with his type of sterility, a conversation he now wished he’d skipped. “I never told you that in order to worry you. I told you because I wanted you to know what you were getting into. And maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think a positive pregnancy test can result from anything other than the presence of a baby.”
She shook her head frantically, cupping his cheeks. “No. No, I read about a guy who took a test as a joke and it turned positive. He had cancer. You have to get checked out. We’ll call first thing Monday. Promise me.”
Sawyer kissed her. “Sydney, I’ll pee on a damned stick as many times as you want me to. But think about it. You taking the test has nothing to do with me, other than the fact that I’m the one who got you pregnant. You are pregnant. This is real. We’re having a baby.”
The confused hope on her face as she stared up at him nearly undid him. “You think so?”
He laughed, wrapping his arms around her and rocking her back and forth. “Yeah, I think so.”
“That might explain why your coffee’s been making me sick lately,” she said. He could tell she still wasn’t convinced though. She looked up at him with a horrified gasp. “Oh, God. Sawyer, your family’s here. How in the world are we going to explain this? They all know you can’t… but you apparently can… unless they think I… Oh, God.”
“We’ll figure it out.” He kissed her right between her eyebrows, then on each cheek in turn, and finally on the lips. “How far along are you, do you think? If you were already late in Pittsburgh, that’d make the conception date when?”
She flushed. “It’d have to be that first night, in the shower. That’s the only time we were intimate without a condom before the trip. That and the second night we had Daniel.” She looked down. “I guess that night would make more sense if you go from the assumption that my deep-seated fear and longing triggers the healing.”
They’d made love quietly, desperately, that night, their lovemaking an intimate tempest that was what cued Sawyer in to how he really felt.
“That’s the night I realized I loved you,” he said softly. “Watching you come apart in my arms, it was different than anything we’d shared before. I was wishing with everything in me that I could get you pregnant.”
She leaned against him, holding tight. “So maybe it was the magic of us that did it, huh?”
“Maybe so.” He sighed. “Like I said, it doesn’t really matter to me how it happened. I just thank God that it has.”
“I won’t believe it until I see a doctor. And I won’t relax until you do, too.”
“Then we’ll both try to get in on Monday. I love you, Sydney.”
She kissed the underside of his chin. “I never thought I’d be happy like this. Even if there isn’t a baby, I want you to know that. To know that I mean that. You’re enough for me. Anything and anyone else is just a bonus.”
“I do believe that. I hope you believe I feel the same way.”
She nodded. “I do.”
Epilogue
In the end, they decided not to tell anyone else about the pregnancy test. Swearing Noah, Sarah, and Nan to secrecy, they went on with the wedding as planned. As simple as it was, the sheer joy of it so far surpassed her first wedding that Sydney had to keep pinching herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.
“This is what we’ve always wanted for you,” Emma told her when they had a moment alone after the ceremony. She touched Sydney’s cheek, tears in her eyes. “My baby girl. You just shine with happiness. I couldn’t ask for anything more for you. He adores you, you know.”
“I do know, Mom. I adore him back.”
“Your father’s taking all the credit for this, by the way,” Emma said as they looked out over the meadow. The festivities had moved from the barn to the picnic shelter, which was festooned with ribbons and sheer fabric. “I can’t believe you all pulled this off without a word to anyone.”
“You have no idea how many times I wanted to run over and see you and Zanny, tell you what we were planning,” Sydney admitted. “But I wanted to surprise you more. And maybe I wanted to keep it to myself as long as I could. Kind of like a present.”
“It’s a good present. A very good present.”
“There’s another gift,” Sydney said, pointing to Eli and Noah, who were talking to each other with ease. “Are they really going to live together?”
“That’s the plan. I think it’ll be good for them. They can come at each other as equals now. Eli’s always been intimidated by Noah’s abilities, never saw them as a liability before. And Noah’s always been a bit jealous of Eli’s normalcy. Well, the playing field is level now. I’d like to see them regain the closeness they had when they were little.”
“Time will t
ell, I guess.” Sydney looked down at the gold band she wore on her left hand. “I never could have dreamed this.”
“I still feel that way about your father from time to time,” Emma admitted softly. “There’s nothing like it, kiddo, being loved by a good man, building a family with him.”
Instinctively, Sydney laid a hand on her belly. She didn’t even think about what she’d done until she noticed Emma’s astonished stare.
“Sydney?”
“I don’t know for sure. Please don’t say anything. I took the test yesterday.”
“Does Sawyer know?”
She nodded. “He’s convinced I am. I’m scared to death I’m not. We didn’t want to say anything until we know for sure. We’ll be going to the doctor as soon as we can get in.”
Emma bit her lip. “Forgive me for asking this, but is he sure it’s his? I mean, I know it’s his. You know it’s his. But…”
Sydney smiled. “He knows.” She looked out over the crowd and caught Sawyer’s eye. He was standing next to her father, Cade, and Grant, who’d driven up for the wedding, laughing at something Archer had said. The laughter faded into a twinkling smile as he started toward her.
“Good. Can I tell your father, or do you want me to wait?”
“Wait, please? It’ll only be a day or two.”
“A day or two what?” Sawyer said as he came up. He kissed her soundly, softly.
“Before we know. I kind of gave the game away.”
“She touched her belly,” Emma said. “I won’t say anything, even though the suspense is going to drive me mad. Let me know as soon as you get the word?”
“We will,” Sawyer assured her, “but it’s just a formality. Now, if you’ll excuse us for a few minutes, I’m going to sneak my wife behind the barn.”