by Julia Goda
“Why?” I whispered.
“Because no matter what happens, no matter who or what tries to come between us, I won’t let anything happen to this.” He gave my head a gentle shake. “Because, baby, you are worth fighting for.”
The tears were running faster now.
That’s what I’d been afraid of since my father left us: that I wasn’t worth it. I was his daughter until he legally made me not be that. If my own father couldn’t love me enough, if he threw me away without looking back, then what did that say about me? That I wasn’t worth loving.
“You are worth it, Rainey. Don’t you ever forget that.” His voice was firm, and his eyes were burning into mine, trying to make me understand.
“Okay,” I whispered through my tears.
“You believe I won’t leave you, won’t throw you away?”
“Yes.” I was still whispering.
“Good.” He looked proud. “Then kiss me.”
I didn’t hesitate. I leaned in and took his mouth in a deep and meaningful kiss, hoping I could convey how grateful I was for his words, how much I had needed to hear them. That kiss led to something more when Logan took over, something wild, something passionate, something full of meaning.
And my heart finally caught up with my head.
Chapter 14
Rainey
WHEN I OPENED MY EYES the next morning, my limbs were tangled with Logan’s. We were facing each other, our arms around each other, my one leg up on his hip, his knee cocked and in between my thighs. Our bodies were touching from chest to legs, while my head was resting in the crook of his neck. We were both naked.
“Good morning.” He must have felt me come awake.
I pulled my face out of his neck and tipped my head back enough so I could look at him. “Good morning.” My voice was hoarse from sleep.
“How’re you feeling?”
I thought for a second, assessing the state of my body.
Things had gotten a little out of hand last night. After round one on the couch, Logan had carried me to the shower, where round two had happened with my back up against the wall and his hands gripping my ass while he pounded into me. Then he had taken me to bed, where he commenced with round number three as he slowly made love to me.
I felt utterly sated, if a little sore and exhausted.
“I’m great.”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “Me too.”
“That’s good.”
This was another new one for me. I had never woken up with anyone like this, tangled up, whispering to each other. I liked it. And even though it was a new and intimate experience for me, I didn’t panic or feel uncomfortable or insecure. I felt surprisingly relaxed and at ease, something I couldn’t remember ever feeling.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“It’s about your father and boxing.”
I stiffened for a moment, but then relaxed. Logan and I were starting something, something important. I couldn’t hold back and expect things to work between us. So I said, “Go ahead.”
He kissed me on the mouth this time. It felt like reward. “You said last night you stopped boxing after what happened with your father. How long ago was that?”
“Ten years.”
His eyes went wide in what looked like disbelief. “You’re saying you haven’t boxed or trained in ten years?”
I nodded, confused as to where he was going with this.
“You’re shitting me.”
I shook my head and scrunched my eyebrows, now even more perplexed and a little annoyed.
“Baby, what I saw you do to that bag doesn’t tell me you haven’t hit in a decade.”
Ah. That’s what he was getting at.
I’d been good. Trained by some of the best trainers in the business. And I’d been passionate about it, so passionate I’d been the best in my league. And that included the boys in my age group and weight class.
I shrugged.
He smiled. “Fuck me. You’re more of a firecracker than I thought you’d be. And that’s saying something.” His smile turned into a smirk. “And I don’t just mean the boxing.” He wagged his eyebrows at me suggestively, making me smile and shake my head at him.
“Stop it.” I hit his chest. He kissed the tip of my nose again. He seemed to really like doing that.
“So you were what, thirteen, fourteen when you stopped?”
“Fourteen.”
“And you started when you were six?”
“Yeah.”
“So you trained for eight years and haven’t gone near anything to do with boxing for ten.”
“Yeah,” I repeated, confirming his math, yet unsure why it was important or why he kept talking about it.
“You realize where you could be right now if you’d never stopped?”
I shrugged again. “I wanted to be just like him. I loved it, spent every free minute at the gym, watched him train every day and listened to every single piece of advice he gave me.”
“And he took that away when he left you.”
My body locked at that reminder. This time I was unable to relax again. “Yes,” I whispered, my voice slightly breaking.
Logan’s hand started wandering up and down my back, soothing me, urging me to be at ease and somewhat succeeding. “You think that’s something you’d like to have back?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know, Logan. I think that ship has sailed. And I love what I do now.”
“That’s not what I mean, though after what I saw yesterday, I’m not sure you’re right. I mean, what would you think of getting back into it? As a hobby. Maybe as my training partner from time to time.”
I shook my head once more, unsure. I didn’t know if that was something I wanted. I had left all things boxing behind, had never thought it would be something I’d be interested in ever again. Though now that I was with Logan, I wouldn’t have a choice but to get involved at least enough to support him. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to take it as far as actually being part of his training. “I’m not sure.”
“Think about it. It’s nothing you have to decide now or anytime soon. Though I’d love for you to come with me today.”
I scrunched up my face. “Today? You’re training today? It’s Sunday. Sundays are supposed to be lazy days, when you stay in your pajamas until noon and lounge on the couch all day.”
Logan chuckled and gave me a quick kiss. “I’m in training, baby. I don’t get any days off until after the fight.”
I felt myself stiffen yet again. “What fight?”
His hand stopped roaming my back and he squeezed me. “I’m in training for a championship fight. It’s in three months.”
Now, my body froze and my lungs stopped working. A championship fight? “What?” I breathed. The reassurance and promises he had made yesterday flew out of my head as fear and insecurity weaseled their way back in and took the lead.
“Rainey, it’s okay. Look at me.”
I hadn’t realized I had closed my eyes. I opened them and stared at Logan, though my head was busy trying to devise an exit strategy. I couldn’t deal with this. Not yet.
“Don’t shut me out, Rainey. Look at me.”
“I am.”
“You’re not. You’re miles away. I need you to look into my eyes and see me.”
I blinked and tried to focus on him. When I did, all I saw was love and determination. And understanding.
“Remember what I said yesterday. Nothing will make me leave you, Rainey. Nothing.”
“Okay.”
He shook his head, knowing I didn’t mean it. “Nothing, baby. Not losing this fight. Not winning it. Not a damn thing.”
I studied him, once more finding nothing but the truth in his eyes, just like last night. I took a deep breath and exhaled, then I relaxed into his arms, feeling his body relax in response.
“You promise?”
“I promise.” He kissed my forehead, where he said, “I want you to com
e with me today. We’re fighting this fear of yours head-on. Together. Until you know deep down in your soul I mean every word I say to you. Until there’s no doubt left. You’re a part of me now, a part of my life. The most important part of my life. That means you’ll be part of that side of my life as well. And I want you to be comfortable there.”
“I think I can deal with going to the gym. No, I know I can. It didn’t hit me as hard as I thought it would. It felt kinda nice, actually. Like coming home.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. But Logan, I don’t think I can deal with a huge fight like a championship fight. Maybe if I were eased into it, you know, at smaller fights. But something like that…I don’t know. That fight I told you about, it was the only real fight I’ve ever been to, or seen even. My mom thought it was too brutal for me to watch, that I was too young. My own fights were in the junior league. Things don’t get as brutal there, not even close. I don’t think I can—”
“I do. You know why?”
“Why?”
“Because it doesn’t matter what happens, if I win the title or if I don’t. At the end of the day, we’ll go home together. You and me.”
That was a nice thing to say. Still, I wasn’t sure if I was ready. “Can you give me some time to think about it?”
“You have three months to get used to the idea.”
I glared at him. “Has anyone ever told you you’re a pushy bastard?”
“Only when it comes to you. I’m actually a pretty laid-back guy.”
“Sure you are.”
He chuckled.
What was it with men and their chuckling?
I tried to roll away from him. I was done with this subject and needed coffee. But Logan rolled with me until he was on top of me, effectively trapping me. His whole body was now shaking with his amusement.
“This is not fucking funny, Logan.”
“It is to me.”
“And why is that?”
“Because you flexing your claws tells me I’ll eventually win.” He tried to kiss me, but I turned my head away. He kissed my neck instead, giving me goose bumps against my will.
“How so?”
He moved his head out of my neck and gave me his eyes. The amusement was gone; seriousness had replaced it. “I get you’re scared. But deep down you already know history won’t repeat itself, baby. If you didn’t, there’d be no way you would have let me in.”
I glared at him. It was all I could do. Because he was right. If I were convinced there’d even be the slightest chance he’d break my heart, there would have been no way for him to find a way through my guard. I wasn’t scared of that. Not really. I wasn’t really sure what I was worried about anymore. My fears seemed somewhat silly now. What else did I need him to say? And what more wisdom did I need to open my eyes to the fact I had let my father’s actions define my choices in life?
“See? I’m right.”
“You’re a jerk.”
“I’m a jerk who’s right. And I’m a jerk who’s about to take you again.”
“You’re no—” He kissed me silent. I swear I tried to fight it, but I just couldn’t. I knew he was right and fighting it just to fight it would make me look ridiculous. I might be stubborn, but ridiculous I was not. So I gave in and kissed him back. Then I gave in more and let him take me for the fourth time in less than twelve hours.
Logan
Watching Rainey in her element made it hard for Logan to control his urge to take her right in this ring. The small, smug smile on her face made it even harder to control his dick.
She was good.
Really good.
He had already known that from watching her hit that bag with an almost flawless technique, but seeing her in the ring now, watching her move, made him realize she was even better than he had imagined.
Upon arrival at the gym, the guys had been ribbing him about bringing his girlfriend to work, the ones who hadn’t seen her two days ago, that is. But she had shut them up pretty quickly, first with her hot-as-hell attitude and her quick tongue that had made him smile proudly at her, now with her expertise in the ring.
She was sparring with Jesse.
Light sparring.
And she was holding her own.
Better, she was making it hard for him to land a single punch, while he was busy defending and protecting himself from hers. Logan smirked as she landed another blow to Jesse’s side, making him wince.
“Shit,” he heard mumbled from his right. He glanced over and noticed Matt standing next to him.
Matt was another kid from the shelter. He was sixteen and one cocky bastard. He had called dibs after Jesse, doing this loudly and arrogantly, but Logan could tell he was regretting his big mouth now.
“Getting cold feet?” he teased him, his eyebrows rising in challenge.
Matt shook his head, his eyes staying on the action in the ring. “I knew she was the shit, but this is something else.” There was trepidation as well as adoration in his voice.
Logan chuckled, in complete agreement with the kid.
“Can’t back down now. The boys will have your balls. You’ll never live that one down.”
Matt shook his head but didn’t answer.
Logan chuckled once more and pinned his eyes back to his woman.
His woman.
He grinned.
In the end, it hadn’t taken him as long as he’d thought it would to break down her walls. Less than three days, to be exact.
She had opened up to him, had opened up about her fears, had let him in. Now she was truly his. Pride flowed through him at that thought. He’d give it some time, not much, but a few weeks until he’d mention moving in together, a month tops. By the time he had to fight for the championship, he wanted them living together, settled, wanted her to know down to her bones they were a unit. With the schedule he’d be keeping closer to the fight, they wouldn’t see each other much unless they lived together; or unless she gave in and decided to be his sometimes-training partner. Though he wouldn’t be able to spar with her; no way would he be able to try and land a hit anywhere on her body. But aside from that, he was looking forward to have her next to him at the gym.
He’d been hesitant and a little nervous when Jesse had asked her to be his sparring partner. Logan had been in the ring with his own partner, Sam, and she had been watching after they had warmed up and hit the bags together.
She had shrugged and said, “Why not?” As if only a few days ago the thought of even being in a boxing gym hadn’t caused her to panic. He’d been hesitant but also proud. Proud of her for seemingly feeling at home here, for taking it in stride. But he hadn’t expected her to jump at the chance of hitting the ring.
He’d looked over and had seen a gleam in her eye, an excitement he hadn’t expected after her initial resistance this morning when he had mentioned getting back into boxing. He wanted her to be excited, had hoped she would overcome her fears quickly, so he couldn’t deny her this, even though he had not been looking forward to watch her getting hit. He knew he’d want to step in and pummel whoever tried to lay a hand on her, which was ridiculous, of course. They were at a boxing gym and he’d asked her to join him, so what had he expected? He hadn’t thought that one through before he’d opened his mouth. Shaking his head at himself, he couldn’t help but give Jesse a warning of “Take it easy,” earning himself a glare from Rainey.
“Why? Because I’m a girl?”
“No, because you’re my girl.”
Her glare had intensified. “That can be remedied.”
Her glare had transferred to Jesse, who had laughed at our own kind of sparring. “I’m not sure what you think is funny.”
He had immediately stopped, but the amusement had remained in his eyes.
“You’re on. Let’s go,” she had said then turned and walked to the next free ring, directly next to mine. Logan had given Sam a chin lift. “Give me a minute,” and had stood leaning against the ropes, watching his girl in action
.
His fears had been unwarranted. Instead of trying to hold himself back from jumping into the ring and defending her, he found himself watching her with nothing but awe and pride. And a whole lot of desire and need.
“Fuck, Rainey. Do you not know what light sparring means?” That was Jesse, rubbing the side of his head with a gloved hand after taking yet another hit.
“Sorry.” She shrugged her shoulders while she bounced on her feet, the smile still playing around her lips. “I’m out of practice,” she said through a grin.
“Out of practice, my ass,” Jesse grumbled, making everyone watching laugh or chuckle.
She shrugged again. “Shouldn’t have pissed me off.”
Jesse narrowed his eyes on her. Her sassy grin widened in response.
“Wish I had volunteered at the shelter. Wouldn’t mind going a few rounds with that spitfire, if you catch my drift,” Sam said. He was standing next to Logan at the edge of the ring, his forearms resting on the ropes. Logan’s eyes narrowed on him as jealousy and possessiveness ignited his anger and he straightened.
“Easy there, tiger,” Sam said through a grin. “No reason to get all territorial on me.”
“Make one move and I’ll kick your ass,” he warned through clenched teeth.
Sam burst out laughing. “I’m just fucking with you.” He glanced back at Rainey before his eyes came back to him. “There any more wildcats like her at the shelter you should introduce me to?”
Logan relaxed his stance and shook his head on a grin. “No one’s like her.”
“Thought so.”
Sam was a good guy, a great guy, actually. They’d known each other and had trained together for years and had become close friends. Logan flipped through the women working at the shelter in his mind. “Still, you might wanna stop by sometime.”
Sam lifted his eyebrows. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Logan smiled to himself. He’d have to make sure Bobby was there when Sam showed. It would be fun to watch her bust Sam’s balls.
His eyes found Rainey when he heard Pete shout, “All right, Jesse, that’s enough for now! You need to be working on the bag.”