by Julia Goda
“You have got to be shitting me! You’re the asshole father who left her, who threw her away because you weren’t man enough to deal with your shit?”
I felt Logan stiffen in front me, but I didn’t look away from Lizzy as she reamed out my father. “And now what? You’re canoodling up to her boyfriend to find a way in? How about you grow some real man balls and pick up the phone so you can grovel until your knees bleed?”
She got it wrong, but then again, she didn’t know who Jay was to Logan, so she couldn’t understand the intricacies of their game.
“Tell me you’re joking,” Logan said in a low voice full of threat. I could still feel his eyes on me, but his words were meant for my father. “Tell me you are not Rainey’s father!” He roared. I snapped my head around and saw Logan’s was now turned and he was focused on the man standing not five feet from us.
“Jay!” he shouted. “Don’t look at her! Look at me!” I checked on my father just as he looked away from me and to Logan.
“I am.”
“You’re what?”
“Rainey’s father.”
I could feel Logan’s anger vibrating through his hands into my skin. It was hot. Stifling. He slowly turned without taking his eyes from him. His hand on my arm slid down to grab hold of my hand, which he clasped tightly as he stood in front of me in a protective stance.
“So that’s what this meeting was about? You were going to tell me you’re the scum who left her and her mom because you couldn’t deal with losing a fucking title? You’re the coward who gave up his rights as a father because he couldn’t face the mess he made of things? The asshole who made his daughter feel like she’s unworthy of love? Of happiness? Because her fucking father, the man who is supposed to take care of her, to make her feel protected, to make her feel like the most beautiful and cherished girl in the world, didn’t love her enough to stay?” His voice wasn’t loud now. It was an angry and lethal hiss.
“Yes, I am,” my father admitted. “And I have never regretted anything more in my life. But you don’t understand. I had to—”
“Don’t understand? Don’t fucking understand? There is nothing to understand! Let me tell you something, Jay. A man, a real man, doesn’t hurt his family like that. Christ, for years I have looked up to you. You’ve mentored me, showed me the way, fuck, you taught me how to be the man I am now!”
“Logan—”
“No. There’s nothing you can say.”
“Rainey—”
Logan advanced, taking my father by surprise when he grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him close to his face until they were nose-to-nose, where he hissed menacingly, “I told you not to look at her. And don’t you dare talk to her.” Then he pushed him off and took the two steps back to me, taking my hand in his immediately and reaching for the key that was still clutched in my other hand. Over his shoulder he said, “Lizzy, do you mind taking Rainey’s car?” He threw her the keys without waiting for an answer, then he led me across the parking lot to his truck, where he put me in the passenger seat without saying a word before he drove us off. I did nothing but comply, too shocked, too confused, too emotionally drained to do or say anything.
What the fuck just happened?
We drove in silence for a long time. I was looking out the window without seeing anything. My mind was too busy trying to come up with an explanation to focus on anything else. It felt like it went through ten different scenarios, without any of them making sense. So my mind kept whirling and whirling, going around in circles but coming up empty every single time.
“You know that song you sang the other day?” Logan’s calm voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
I frowned and slowly turned my head. It wasn’t only his voice that was calm. He seemed calm, the way he was sitting with one hand on the wheel and the other on the console, his body relaxed and his face soft.
“What?”
“The song you played with Steve the other day.”
I shook my head, not just to clear it, but also to try and understand what he was asking. And why he was asking it. What song? What was he talking about? And why the hell was he talking about a stupid song instead of explaining to me what the fuck just happened?
“The day I kissed you for the first time you played a song with Steve.”
I thought back to that day.
“It was about a waterfall. You like waterfalls?”
What the hell? Did I like waterfalls? What kind of question was that?
“Logan—” I tried to stop him from asking random, unimportant questions and demand we talk about the scene with my father, but he interrupted me.
“You do. I know you do. I could see it on your face when you sang the words. Your eyes were closed, but I could see every emotion flitting across your face. It was beautiful. You are beautiful.”
“What? Why are you—” He interrupted me again, completely flooring me with his words.
“It was in that moment I decided to not wait any longer. I was going to have you, and I was going to make you mine. Mine to cherish, mine to worship, mine to protect. I decided I was going to be your waterfall, the one place where you could let go of all your worries, all your pain, all your troubles, where you could let yourself fall without drowning, feeling completely safe. I was going to be that waterfall for you. I thought I was almost there, that I had gained your trust, that you were letting me be the person I want to be for you. You said you love me, you leaned on me this morning when you needed someone. You were opening up to me. I thought I was in.”
“I—”
“No, Rainey, I need you to not say anything right now. What I need you to do is hear me, really hear me, hear the words I’m saying to you and let them sink in.” He took my hand and brought it to his lips, brushing them across my knuckles softly, before he lay it palm down on his thigh and covered it with his, squeezing gently. “I don’t play games. I don’t lie. I don’t cheat. I don’t take advantage of or betray the people I love. Not ever. I’m loyal, I’m respectful, I’m blunt. Once I know what I want, I go after it with single-minded determination. I saw you, and I wanted you, so I went after you. That day you sang that song I knew I loved you. I knew you were the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, the woman I want to grow old with. So I went on the offensive and won you. With that first kiss, I claimed you. I made you mine. And I will do anything and everything it takes to get it through that thick skull of yours that you’re safe with me. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“I…” I scrunched up my face. “I think so. I don’t know.” Right then, I wasn’t sure what to think anymore. The words Logan said were beautiful, and I wanted to believe every single one of them. I did. I had. Now, my mind and heart were a confused mess of upside-down and inside-out thoughts and emotions.
“Do you believe me when I tell you, you are safe with me?”
“I want to,” I whispered. My bottom lip was quivering as my emotions were starting to get the best of me. I wanted to believe him so badly.
“Then do it, Rainey. Trust me. Trust me with you.”
I said nothing as I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears.
Logan pulled over and stopped the truck, but I didn’t look away from his face. His eyes shone with love and sincerity when they met mine and he asked, “Do you really think I was playing you? After everything I have told you, after everything we have done, do you really believe I lied to you the whole time?”
I couldn’t. Nobody could pull anything like that off. But it wasn’t just that. I didn’t believe Logan would ever do anything like that. He was a straight-talker. He was honest. He was a good guy. The best I had ever met. And I loved him. I didn’t really believe he had played me. I couldn’t. So I shook my head no as the first of the tears rolled down my cheek, followed by many more.
“I’m sorry. Seeing you with him…I didn’t…I couldn’t…It…It hurt.”
He cupped my cheeks with his hands. I leaned into the touch.
“My tough little firecracker is crying an awful lot today.” I could hear the smile in his voice and gave a short, self-reprimanding laugh.
“Come here.”
He didn’t have to ask me twice. I leaned over the console at the same time he pulled my face toward him, and I kissed him through my still falling tears, a soft, loving kiss of apology he accepted without hesitation.
“We good now?”
“We’re good.”
“Good.” He kissed me again. “Then let’s get out of the car and enjoy the rest of the morning.”
I peeked out the window and realized we weren’t in the city anymore. We weren’t even in the suburbs. In fact, it looked like we were in the woods somewhere. How long had we been driving? I must have been completely zonked out for not noticing.
“Where are we?” I asked as I looked around to figure out where we were.
“Trap Falls.”
I whipped my head around and found him grinning at me.
“You brought me to a waterfall?”
He nodded. “I did. It’s a small one, but it’s the closest.”
The warm feeling of love that was shining in his eyes enveloped me and settled in my heart. “Thank you, Logan,” I whispered before I kissed him again.
Logan took my hand as we walked along the path that led us to the small but beautiful waterfall. I had never been here but knew on first sight of the three plunges, this visit wouldn’t be my last. They looked like a postcard, and the sound of the rushing water immediately helped ease my mind. Everything would be all right. Logan squeezed my hand and settled us on one of the rocks right by the water, where we sat in silence for a few minutes before I couldn’t wait any longer and had to ask the questions that wouldn’t stop running around in my mind. I was leaning against Logan’s side, his arm around me, his hand sliding up and down my arm soothingly while his lips were touching the side of my head.
“Things are going to be messy, aren’t they?”
Logan sighed but didn’t stop his soothing and loving. “I’m afraid they will.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“Well, I obviously need to look for a new trainer, maybe even two, depending on if Pete knew about Jay being your father. If that’s the case, then I’ll have to postpone the fight.”
I sat up and looked at him. “I would never ask you to do that. To fire your trainers because I have a problem with them.”
“I know, baby. It’s not just that though, is it? I have trusted those men for years, have looked up to them since I was a teenager. They’re part of my family. Knowing they lied to me about something this big…I don’t know if I can ever trust them again. Jay lying to me about who he is to you, what he has done, while knowing about my family’s story and pretending to be a person of integrity, I don’t think I’ll ever want to be around him again. All his words of wisdom seem empty now.” That made sense. Still, it would be complicated to find a whole new team of trainers, especially so close to a fight. I was torn about it. I didn’t want to see my father again, and I hated the idea of Logan being with him, training with him day in and day out, of accidentally running into him or hearing Logan talk about him, but then again, I didn’t want Logan to have to postpone his fight.
“How…how come you didn’t know who he is?” This was the question I couldn’t find an answer to on the hour-long drive, the question that kept repeating over and over in my head.
“I know who he is. He’s Jeremy “The Rapid” Reynolds. Fastest hands during his time. I’ve always called him Jay; it’s how he introduced himself to me. I knew he left the circuit and decided to be a trainer after he lost his title. I also knew he was divorced. But I didn’t know the whys and hows about that, and I didn’t know he had a daughter. I certainly didn’t know and never suspected you’re that daughter. Your last name isn’t Reynolds.”
“Oh.” That explained it. “He made us both take my mom’s maiden name after the divorce.”
Logan’s arm around me tightened as he clenched his teeth. “That would explain why I didn’t make the connection. I have to be honest. My plan was to find that bastard father of yours and kick the shit out of him for hurting you, and I came really close to doing just that today in that parking lot, but I would have never imagined he would be someone so close to me.”
I stared at him as the images of him ready to rip my father’s head off flowed through my mind again. He’d been so mad. I had never seen anyone that furious. And he had been that over me.
“You have to talk to Pete.”
He ran his hand through his hair on another sigh. “I know.”
“Do you, um, want me to come?”
Logan smirked but shook his head. “That’s probably not a good idea. Jay could be there, and I don’t want you to run into him like that again. Not to mention, I’ll be calmer if you’re not there. Pete might even survive with his head still attached to his neck.”
“Why will you be calmer without me there?”
“Because, baby, when you’re there, my body and mind go into instant protection mode. Your well-being takes priority over everything else. And I’ll need my head to be as clear as possible for that conversation.”
“Wow,” was all I could say.
“Yeah. Wow.” He placed a soft kiss on my lips.
“We should probably head back.”
“Probably.”
Neither one of us moved.
“Ten more minutes?”
Logan smiled and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Ten more minutes.”
So we sat arm in arm for ten more minutes before we headed back to the city to face the music, so to speak.
Chapter 17
Logan
LOGAN DROPPED RAINEY OFF AT work and promised to call her as soon as he had talked to Pete. It felt good to know she cared about what was going to happen and was worried for him, though it had to be tough on her. He could only imagine the torn thoughts and feelings she had about the whole thing.
He had no idea what was going to happen when he walked into Pete’s office. This whole situation was a mess. While Rainey and he had been sitting at the waterfall, he had made a mental list of things he needed to do, the people he might have to call, if he decided to part ways with the two most important men in his life. The first person on that list was his mother. He was going to need her advice. She had a knack for laying it all out for him, for stripping away all the unimportant things and showing him his options as clearly as possible. She was close to both Pete and Jay, but she would be objective when it came to him and his career, as objective as a mother could be. He would love to ask for Rainey’s advice in something as important as his career as well, since it was a decision that would affect both their lives, but he couldn’t put that on her. It wouldn’t be fair.
“Fuck,” he swore when he saw Jay’s car in the parking lot. He slammed the truck door behind him and prowled to the gym while at the same time clenching and unclenching his hands in an attempt to calm his shit down. But all he could see was Rainey’s face; when she told him about her father; when she doubted she was worth loving; when she saw him with Jay at the diner. That broken and devastated look in her eyes. He had told his mother that morning he would never forget it. Now, it was cemented in his brain, and the reason for it was somewhere in that building.
He left his bag in the car. There wouldn’t be any training happening today. When he couldn’t spot Pete or Jay anywhere, he headed toward the office. He didn’t bother knocking and threw the door wide open before he stormed in then slammed it shut. Two heads jerked in his direction and two sets of eyes settled on him. One was full of regret and sadness mixed with trepidation; the other was full of understanding and worry, also mixed with trepidation.
Logan cut straight to the chase. “Did you know? Did you know what he did to his wife and daughter?”
“Now, son, let’s sit down and discuss this—”
“Tell me!” Logan roared. He braced his hands on his hips and dropped hi
s head to his chest, where he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. It wouldn’t help if he punched both their lights out before he got any answers.
“Jay and I go way back. I started training him when he was just a boy, much like I did you. He moved on with a different trainer when he got big. I didn’t move on with him, because I was happy where I was. We lost touch after that.” Logan’s head snapped back up when Pete spoke. “But yes, I knew about Sarah and Rainey. I knew what happened between them and about the divorce and everything that went with it. I knew because Jay told me when he begged me to help him get his life back together. What I didn’t know was the girl who walked in here with you a few days ago was his daughter. Not until I saw her hit that bag and you introduced her to me.”
Logan wasn’t a hundred percent happy with that answer, since it proved Pete had known about Jay’s treatment of his wife and daughter, but he believed him when he said he hadn’t known about Rainey until he met her.
“But you did, didn’t you? You knew whom I was talking about that night when I told you about the girl I had met. You knew it was her. That’s why you didn’t show for days after, isn’t it?”
Jay nodded slowly. “I wasn’t a hundred percent sure, but I had my suspicions. I kept my eyes on my wife and daughter, so I knew she worked at a shelter, just didn’t know it was the same shelter you were volunteering at. When you told me your girl hated boxers, I checked into it and worked it out. I’ve been trying to figure out how to talk to you since that night. To you and Rainey.”
“You son of a bitch.” Logan’s whisper was low and menacing, full of disappointment and anger. “What was all that talk about integrity, about loyalty, about respect for all those years? How can you, someone who treated the best thing that could ever happen to him like shit, preach to me about all those things?”