Life went on though, I graduated, served, started ‘Living Lagos’ and gave up on ever loving any other man the way I still loved Michael.
I had confided my feelings to Ada on one of the ‘Girl’s night in’ days at my flat. Drunk on red wine, maudlin on romance movies and incensed by a picture of him I had seen on a friends Facebook page. I told her everything while she listened patiently.
“I think you overreacted.” She had said at last. “I don’t understand all your vexing and not picking his calls, you should have at least talked to him.”
I had told myself the same thing over and over for years so I couldn’t bring myself to argue with her. So we went back to oohing and aahing over his picture and how handsome he looked. Before the day was over Ada made me promise that if I ever had a chance I would see him, talk to him and see how it went from there.
“You never know” she said. “You might just see him and wonder what you ever saw in him.”
Very unlikely, I remember thinking.
Now here I was in my flat, with no idea what to wear. I was in a panic. I didn’t want to be too dressy, and make him think I was trying too hard. But I didn’t want to dress down either. Half of my wardrobe was on the bed and I still hadn’t decided. I almost gave up and stayed home.
The phone rang. It was Ada, of course.
“Have you left yet?” she asked.
“No!” I replied dejectedly. “I’m not going. I have nothing to wear”
“Of course you do” she said. “You have lots of lovely clothes”
“Well they’re hiding somewhere” I said petulantly. “Because I haven’t seen any of them.”
“You’re just panicking.” Ada said. “You’re afraid to go and see the man you know is the love of your life.” She continued. “Just relax” She coaxed. “You’re beautiful, in fact you’re stunning, forget about him for a moment and just dress up for a fabulous night out.”
Easy for her to say, I thought.
At last I decided to wear a simple black dress, which went really well with my light skin, with a pair nude coloured shoes and a matching clutch. I wore simple gold accessories and pinned my hair up. Combined with my barely there makeup, I looked simple but really elegant. Classy, as my mother would have said.
It was a short drive to the MUSON centre. When I got there the event had just started. I saw Ada, looking odd in jeans and a T-shirt, taking pictures of people at the entrance. She saw me and gave me two thumbs up. I smiled, relaxing a bit.
As soon as I entered the hall, my eyes started to scan the place for Michael. I didn’t see him. I tried to ignore the pang of disappointment in my stomach as I searched for my seat.
There was funny couple on my table, both husband and wife in their sixties, who adopted me as soon as I sat down and before long, had me laughing at their stories on how they met.
“He walked up to me and said he was going to marry me!” The lady told me with a smile. “And I told him to get in line.”
“Then I told her I was starting a new line.” Her husband said with a self-satisfied chuckle.
“Then I asked him what he had that my other beaus didn’t.” The lady said still smiling, “and do you know what he said?” She asked me.
I shook my head.
“He said marry me and you’ll find out!”
“She couldn’t resist that!” Her husband laughed. “She just had to know.”
It continued like that all evening and even helped to ease my tension a bit. But I still couldn’t forget why I was there. Michael Ade Cole was like a weight, holding my mind in one place and no matter what I did, I couldn’t turn it away from him.
I had psyched myself to be cool when I finally saw him, but when I did see him all that preparation went out of the window. Somehow as soon as he came in, I knew he was in the room, my eyes went to the entrance and there he was, still beautiful, like some sort of god. I watched him stride into the hall, following an usher to a table at the front. As he passed by my table I thought I saw him pause and almost turn around, but then he kept on walking, and joined his sister at their table.
“Are you all right?” It was the old lady. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I’m fine” I reassured her, smiling quickly.
She pursed her lips. “Why are you here alone anyway?” She asked as if I had affronted her. “A beautiful girl like you should be here with one of her beaus. I always had someone to escort me when I was your age.”
“Times have changed” her husband quipped. “These days girls impress each other with their careers, not with the men on their arm.”
At one point Ada came up to me and whispered in my ear. “Babes, I saw him and he is hot!!! How did you ever let that one get away?”
I shook her away and then stole a glance at him. Yes, he was handsome, more handsome than I remembered. I sighed. It hurt to even look at him.
The event drew towards the end. The last of the comedians and dancing troupes had concluded their acts and Michael’s sister gave her vote of thanks. Everyone was up and socializing. I got up. There was only one way to do this. If I was going to find out if my feelings for Michael would ever result in anything after all this time, then I was going to have to go to him.
He was standing towards the front of the room, smiling and talking with a slender woman who, as far as I could see was being very receptive to whatever it was he was saying. Of course I had known that he might bring a date, but the sight was much more unamusing that the thought. I didn’t pause though, I walked towards him, my steps purposeful, inside I was a knot of nerves, but outside, I am sure I looked like the most confident girl in the room.
I was halfway to him before he raised his eyes.
And looked right into mine.
I paused.
He stopped talking and frowned. I smiled hesitantly.
Then he broke into a huge smile and hurried toward me.
“Sophia!” he exclaimed, giving me a hug. “I can’t believe it”
I stood there, shocked and happy at the same time. It was beautiful to stand there in his arms, inhaling his cologne and the fresh scent of his clothes. It felt so good I could have stood there forever.
“I’ve been thinking of you all evening” he said. “I don’t know why. But since I walked in here I have not been able to stop thinking about you.”
I smiled weakly and said the only thing I could think of. “Well, Long time no see” I said lamely.
“Yes!” He exclaimed. “Too long. What are you doing here?”
“It’s a work thing” I said. “For my magazine.”
“Your magazine?”
I nodded. “Yes. Well I run a magazine now”
He raised his eyebrows “Well you have to tell me all about that.” He said “Just look at my little Sophie! All grown up and running her own magazine.”
“I could say the same about you” I said. “Except you’ve always been ‘all grown up’”
He laughed. “So no one has tamed that your sharp tongue of yours yet.” He said “It’s good to see you though, four years is a very long time.”
“It is” I agreed. The woman he had been talking with was still standing there, waiting for him, I guessed. I looked towards her. “Aren’t you here with someone?” I asked.
“Many people” He replied. “My sister, Cecilia, I’m sure you remember her, her husband, my cousins! That’s my cousin Julie I was just talking to. You can come meet her if you like.”
I almost let out a sigh of relief. He didn’t have a date with him after all.
As we walked toward his cousin he turned towards me.
“So are you here alone or is there someone looking daggers at my back right now, ready to challenge me to a duel?”
“Oh No No!” I laughed. “I came alone.”
“Good” He laughed. “That suits me fine.”
“Really!” I exclaimed laughing. “Why? I hope you don’t have any nefarious plans for me?”
He
gave me a look I couldn’t decipher. “Here’s Julie” He said, as we reached his cousin. He introduced us. After a few moments of small talk he took my hand. “We need to catch up.” he stated. “When can I see you again?”
“I’m free this weekend” I said.
He nodded. “Let me take you home.” He offered.
I almost said yes before I realised that I’d brought my own car. “I brought my car” I said regretfully, wishing I’d never bought it.
“Okay, well tomorrow is Saturday.” He said. “So we have all day.” He thought for a moment “You know what? Give me your keys. I’ll drive you home and get someone to bring your car to your house. That way at least I’ll get to know where you live, in case you plan to disappear after tonight.
I agreed happily.
His sister came over to say hi. She was obviously pregnant and seemed to be one of those women who carried pregnancies with energy and ease. I had met her back when I and Michael were at school together. “You!” She started to chide me as soon as she saw me. “Why did you abandon my brother?”
“I didn’t” I protested weakly.
“Don’t mind her” Michael said to her. “She broke my heart and she won’t even accept it”
“I didn’t” I exclaimed.
“Ok O!” Cecilia said “Thank God he has found you again sha. Maybe you’ll be a good influence on him”
“I hope so” I laughed. “Though with this one it might be too late.”
“He’s too corrupt already abi.” She laughed and turned to leave us, then stopped. “Folake just called” she said to Michael, “She asked if she should still bother to come. But I told her it was too late and we had already finished.
I thought he tensed up a little, but that could have been my imagination “Okay” he shrugged. “That’s fine.”
We soon left for my apartment. He drove one of those new Range Rovers. It was very comfortable and luxurious. “Nice car” I commented.
“I aim to please” he said.
I thought he seemed a little preoccupied. What was he thinking about, and who was Folake? The person his sister had mentioned. Was she his girlfriend or fiancée, I didn’t want to think about it so I pushed it out of my mind.
“Don’t be so quiet” He said after a while. “I spent the last four years missing yours constant prattle”
“Prattle!” I exclaimed incredulously. “I didn’t used to prattle”
“Yes you did” He said. “Then you could never stop talking, you had opinions on everything and you never hesitated to voice them”
“Some people would call that opinionated” I laughed.
“Well.” He said. “As Jesus himself once said” He looked at me with a teasing smile. “You said it”
We both burst out laughing.
At the parking lot of my apartment building we remained in the car talking. I told him all about ‘Living Lagos’, he seemed really impressed.
“I always knew you had it in you” he said at last. “Congratulations”
“Thanks” I replied diffidently.
“So aside from the magazine, what have you been up to?” He asked.
“Nothing much” I said, “Just living.” And thinking about you, I added silently.
He laughed. “I used to have nightmares that when I saw you again you would be married with a kid or two and a jealous husband who would forbid you to talk to me”
“Well I hope to have the kids and the hopefully not-so-jealous husband someday soon” I said, looking at him.
He held my eyes for a while. What was he thinking? I wondered.
“I’m engaged.” He said suddenly.
I had been sitting there in the car with him, my whole body growing warm at his closeness. As soon as he spoke it was like someone had poured icy water all over me. My stomach dropped and I looked away from him. Outside the car, the security lights were casting an orange glow all over the compound. I concentrated on that, so that I wouldn’t cry. I felt like a fool, I felt like I should have known, really. Why had I expected him to be single? He was young, handsome and virile, of course someone else had taken the opportunity I had thrown away.
I forced a smile. “Congratulations! I exclaimed, turning back to him. “I am very happy for you”
He looked at me for what seemed like a long time. He shifted his gaze outside the car “Thanks” He said at last.
“She wasn’t there tonight?” I asked.
“No she was busy with work.”
“Oh!” I nodded. “Okay” I opened the car door. “I guess I see you around then” I said, trying to make it sound like I didn’t care, like he hadn’t just broken my heart a second time in one lifetime.
“I hope I’ll see you more than that” He replied. Was I imagining the pleading note in his voice? “After four years” He continued. “I don’t want you to disappear again.”
I nodded and he smiled.
“Goodnight” I said.
“Goodnight” He replied.
I watched him drive off. My heart felt really hollow. All my hopes now felt too foolish. It took all my strength even to walk up the stairs to my apartment.
4. Getting To Know You Again
I don’t think I slept very much that night. I kept thinking about Michael, about the fact that now that I’d finally found him again, he had gone and gotten himself engaged.
I had to get over him, I told myself, I had to forget, totally forget, the idea of being with him. I had to let go of all my hopes and fantasies and accept that we could only ever be friends. What was the alternative? Trying to steal another woman's man? On what excuse? That I had loved him first or that I loved him more? That was something I would never do.
I dozed off sometime before morning, and woke up again before it was fully bright, my thoughts of the night before still weighing on my mind. I did my laundry, cleaned my flat and did some cooking. I had decided to spend at least an hour watching some no-brainer show on E! when there was a knock on the door.
Who was it? I wondered. Hardly anybody knocked on my door anymore. People would call, ping or text to say they were right outside your door. Knocking seemed to have gone the way of the Nokia 3310.
The knocking, which had stopped, started again, a little louder this time, maybe it was my landlady, I thought, getting up and going towards the door, she was the only one who would knock as if she had a right to tear the door down. I peered into the peephole.
Michael!
What was he doing here?
I threw a frantic glance around the flat and heaved a sigh of relief that I had tidied up. Usually well…. best not to get into that.
I was wearing a vest and shorts and my hair was in a messy twist at my neck. Should I change I wondered? Should I brush my hair? What if I took too long and he assumed I wasn’t home and left. I took a deep breath and opened the door.
His tall frame dwarfed the tiny hallway. He was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, and looking really fresh, like he had had a really good night. “Hello.” He smiled in greeting. “You decided to open the door at last!” He peered at my face “Were you sleeping? I was beginning to think I had the wrong flat”
I laughed self-consciously. “Come in” I offered. What was he doing here?! I thought. “I wasn’t sleeping” I said in reply to his earlier question. “I just wasn’t expecting anyone”
“Yeah well too bad, I’m here!” He gave me a ‘too bad’ look and walked into the flat “I had to come and make sure I hadn’t dreamed last night.”
‘Hmmm” I scoffed. “You don’t really expect me to believe that. Do you?”
“If only you knew.” He looked around my tiny living room. It was so tiny I had only being able to fit one piece of furniture in it. A couch. “Your flat is cute.” He commented.
“Tiny, you mean?”
“Homey.” He countered. “I like it, I could live here happily”
I sniggered. His very presence already dwarfed my flat, making it look smaller than it actually was. “I
don’t think this place can take the two of us without breaking.”
“You think?” He said. He sat on the couch and stretched his legs. “Enjoyment!” He sighed. “Young lady, you are living the life!”
I rolled my eyes. He could pretend to be impressed all he wanted. But I had been to his family’s house in Ikoyi. A flat the size of mine would have to have come out of an episode of star wars to impress him. “So?” I said pointedly. “Apart from making sure you weren’t dreaming last night….?”
“Are you trying to send me away?” He exclaimed.
“No” I said. “But I know you’re up to something, tell me what it is”
“Nothing extraordinary.” He stated. “Just want to steal you away for today.”
“Say what?” I sputtered.
“You know? Take you out, hit the town” he shrugged. “I haven’t been back in town for long. You could show me what I’ve been missing in the past few years. We could go see a movie, go to the beach…” He paused. “Just get to know each other again”
I stared at him, my mind racing. Of course I wanted to go. What was a day? When what I wanted was to spend my whole life with him. But wasn’t he, weren’t we both forgetting a very important detail? His fiancée?
I had already decided that we were going to be just friends, hadn’t I? That I was going to forget him? What was he trying to do? Was he unknowingly dangling himself in front of me, like a very attractive carrot? Or was he deliberately punishing me, or worse, leading me on and on until I became his own ‘girl on the side’ like the ones many married men had. I shook my head. Michael wasn’t like that.
“What did you drink?” I asked. My voice light and playful, belying the turmoil underneath. I was being a very good actress. I thought to myself. “What have you been smoking?” I continued.
“Nothing” He said, looking puzzled. “Why?” he had picked up the remote and was flicking through the channels. He looked right at home in my flat, I thought with some injudicious pleasure.
Always Yours (Lagos Romance Series) Page 2