“What’s up with you today?” my brother asks. Belcoras is late, and my brother has never had much patience. He has a pair of throwing knives in one hand. He scissors them back and forth, making them sing. I give him a look that makes him put them away.
“There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m just waiting.”
“You’re not waiting. You’re pacing. You’re all twitchy.”
“I’m not,” I insist. My brother shrugs his shoulders and accepts my denial, while I continue to pace and twitch. It feels risky being out here in the open, where anything could happen and any number of events could occur, leading to the discovery that I’ve been walking around like a ticking time bomb for the last four days. The fact that I haven’t told anyone about my halo is a major deal. If I get found out, I don’t know what the technicians will do.
In the time we stand there waiting, the subtle pink hue to the morning sky diminishes and clouds begin to amass in the heavens. It won’t be long before rain kicks in and the day is a washout; there’s electricity on the air and a storm is brewing. Storms mean one thing in the Sanctuary: everybody indoors. Lightning strikes within the city limits are common, and the rain is usually so strong that flash flooding can occur without any warning. Living near the river is a blessing sometimes and a burden at others. When it bursts its banks, we’re actually permitted to sleep on the first floor of the house. Miranda says the frequency with which we get flooded is the reason why we don’t get carpet on the floor in our living quarters, but I know better.
“Belcoras is here,” my brother says, pointing off through the crowds of early morning touts setting up their stalls of fruit and vegetables. I look in the direction he is pointing and pick out a sandy blond head amongst the jostling throng of people. It’s a Belcoras, all right. They all have that same dirty, straw-coloured hair. I know because I’ve killed three of his brothers. As he draws closer, we go out to meet him, and a light rain starts to fall. He’s wearing combat gear just like us, but his clothes are worn at the knees and scuffed. No doubt he has to share his clothes with all his siblings.
The boy is probably the same age as me. He’s broad and strong and it’s obvious he’s a trained fighter, even without the faint scars that run down the lengths of his cheekbones. He holds out his hand to greet us and I shake first, noticing the way he holds himself. I do this subconsciously. Studying a fighter is second nature to us, wondering how they handle themselves, how they handle their knives, what their strengths and weaknesses are. I’ve already ascertained that he favours his right side and that he’s probably quick, but not as quick as me, by the time I let his hand go.
He gives me a curt smile, knowing he has been sized up, and I notice that his eyes are mismatched. One is ice blue and one is so dark it’s almost black. I’ve never seen anything like this before, and for a second I’m stunned. A frown flickers over his face, and I realise I’m staring. I look away.
“Good morning,” he says. “My Trues have requested we discuss a training schedule. I take it that’s why you came?”
“It is,” I tell him, organising my face into a mask of nonchalance. “My last partner and I trained every morning from six until nine. Do you think this arrangement might be agreeable?”
Belcoras shakes his head, no. “I work in the mornings four days a week. I can train the other three. Perhaps we can meet later in the evening on the other days?”
I forget that, unlike my brother and I, other Falin from poorer Houses have to work, and for some reason I find his inability to slide neatly into Cai’s training schedule very annoying. I’m hostile when I snap, “Fine.”
He doesn’t seem to notice my temper and nods enthusiastically. “I’m very happy to be able to train with you and your brother. I wasn’t able to attend the last amphi-match, but I understand Falin Asha fought poorly. I promise you, I will work hard to ensure I am a worthy partner to you both.”
An unpleasant bubbling feeling rises up in my chest, and I struggle to keep my face from reacting to his statement. That’s all it is―a statement. But I can’t shake the suspicion that he’s making a personal remark about Cai. “Falin Asha was not an unworthy opponent or training partner.”
Belcoras looks surprised at my words, and maybe surprised at the level of anger that even I can hear in them, too. He tilts his head back and a bead of rain strikes his forehead. “Of course. It’s just―well, there are a lot of Falin saying that he was sloppy and could have fought better. That he wasn’t paying attention.”
A low growl works its way up my throat, and both my brother and Belcoras shift uneasily. “Hey, is everything all right?” my brother whispers. I take a step toward Belcoras and automatically draw out the dagger on my right hip. It’s my favourite knife. It has top serrations that make it look positively evil. I hold it up in the air and twist it around so he can see.
“Maybe it’s just that I’m an excellent fighter. Maybe Falin Asha simply didn’t stand a chance.” Saying something like that feels horrible, but I’d rather have people believe Cai was out-matched than just an all-out terrible opponent. Belcoras blinks at me, rivulets of water running fast down his face now. His blond hair is plastered to his head, and I have no idea when the rain got so hard.
“Yes, well…I suppose that must be it,” he agrees. I can tell he’s being polite, because it’s not in the nature of a halo-wearer to be argumentative, but I can also tell that he doesn’t believe me. This makes me even angrier, and I have to push down the powerful urge to smash my fist into Belcoras’ face. I even picture myself doing it, which I’m sure doesn’t leave a pleasant expression on my face.
“Sister, we should go,” my brother says, reaching out for my hand. I hadn’t noticed but there are people who have stopped to stare at me waving my knife under the other boy’s nose, and some of them are frowning openly. I pull the knife back and slip it into its sheath in a practiced move that feels fluid. The rain comes down in sheets, and the square outside the Colosseum entranceway already looks like it’s pooling water. At least now no one is questioning why I’m wearing my jacket.
Belcoras steps away and gives us a light bow, his halo visible around the back of his neck as he does so. I think I hear it recalibrating, but it’s probably just my imagination; he seems completely composed.
“I will see you tomorrow morning, then? Agreed?”
“We look forward to it,” my little brother announces, shaking his hand. He seems like an adult when he does this, and it jolts me back to reality. Belcoras smiles and walks away from the Colosseum, the rainwater flicking up from his battered leather shoes as he goes. My brother rounds on me and narrows his eyes.
“What was that about?”
“Hmm?”
He scrubs his hand over his wet hair as the sky above us rumbles angrily. “You were acting strange. You threatened him with your knife.”
“No, I didn’t”
“Yes, you did.”
I sigh and pull my lips in a tight line. Should I tell him? Should I tell him that I’m spiralling out of control because of all the messed up emotions inside me―the ones I have no idea how to contain? Undoubtedly a bad idea. I set off walking back towards the river and he follows on my heels. “It’s nothing.”
“I don’t mean to disagree with you, but―”
“Then don’t.”
He wraps a hand around my wrist and yanks me to a stop. “Sister, don’t be alarmed but I think there might be something wrong with your halo.”
This announcement, with the rain pouring down his face―the calm, innocent way he says it, makes me laugh. The noise rips from me before I can react, and I slap my hand over my mouth to make it stop. My brother just looks at me, his eyes wide and round. A female Therin stops hurrying in the alleyway and stares at me like I have three heads. Laughing was a bad move. A very bad move.
“Let me see your halo,” my brother hisses, reaching for the zip on my jacket. I flinch back and start heading off down the street in the direction of home, kicking myself
for being so stupid. “No. Come on, we have to get inside before this gets much worse.”
The clouds have gone from a murky grey to the colour of dark steel in a matter of minutes. It really is important we get back, but it’s more important that I avoid letting him see what’s happened to my halo. He follows behind me for a few paces before I don’t sense him at my back anymore. I turn and find him standing in the middle of the deserted alleyway with water dripping from the cuffs of his shirtsleeves.
“Let me see it,” he says.
I stare at him, trying to work out what to do next. He walks purposefully towards me and goes for the zip on my jacket again, but I sidestep out of the way and hold my hands to my throat. “Just―there’s nothing the matter with it. Let’s go.”
A deep roil of thunder claps out overhead and my brother takes a step away from me. “We’re going to get this fixed,” he whispers. “Everything’s going to be okay.” He sets off in a run back towards our house, dodging around me as he goes. I try and grab hold of him, but his hand is wet and slips free from my grasp. I know what he’s going to do. He’s going to race home and tell Lowrence and Miranda that there’s something wrong with me, because this is what he’s been brought up to do. It’s his duty, and he doesn’t realise what he’s doing. Running after him is an option; I’m faster than he is, but then what?
There’s nothing I can do or say to him that will persuade him to keep my secret, not with him so indoctrinated by what we’ve been told we should and shouldn’t do.
I make up my mind there and then. I’m not going after him. I’m not going back. The rain blurs the image of my brother as he races off down the alleyway as fast as he can, and I freeze the picture in my mind. This might be the last time I see him, after all. He pauses at the end of the alleyway and looks back at me, like he knows I’m just standing there in the rain watching him go. For a moment I think he will come back and talk to me, but then he balls up his fists and he is gone.
RUN
The same Therin that answered the door to me yesterday opens up the back door at the Asha Household. Her eyes are a weak blue and rheumy, and I wonder if she can even see me at all. “Yes?”
“I need to see Penny.”
The Therin shakes her head. “Now really isn’t the best time. Penny has come down with a chill. You should come back in a couple of days.”
She goes to shut the door but I shove my booted foot in the gap and growl. This can have a useful effect on people, I’m learning. She shrinks back and stares at me like I’m mad.
“I just need to speak to her for a minute. Please.” I try not to sound like I’m on the brink of giving in to the tidal wave of panic and fear and adrenaline smashing through my veins, making me want to start breaking things. That really wouldn’t help matters. She gathers the hem of her pale green shirt in her hand and scrunches it up while she glares at me.
“Her father won’t like it,” she says.
“Don’t tell him I’m here, then. Just go and get Penny.”
The Therin nods hesitantly and backs away from the door, and I’m left trying to work out if it was a massive mistake coming here. She could be telling Penny’s father that there’s a mad girl handing out orders on his back doorstep right this second. He would most definitely drag me straight back to the Kitsch Household. It would be all over then. Rain or no rain, Lowrence would force me kicking screaming up to the technicians compound, and then I would be dealing with a whole new world of trouble.
Doubt gets the better of me, and I’m about to make a dash for it when Penny stumbles down the stairs in a violet dressing gown and her hair in a tangled auburn mess about her head. I gasp when I see her face; a fierce-looking bruise purples beneath her right eye, the hue complementing that of her dressing gown quite nicely. Her lip is badly swollen and split. She grimaces at me and pulls me out of the rain.
“What are you doing here?”
“My brother found out. He’s telling my family right now. What happened to you?”
She brushes my hand away when I go to touch her cheek, and ducks her head so that her hair falls over her face. It doesn’t hide the bruise though, or the fact that she’s been crying.
“My father…he―”
“Oh.”
She’d said yesterday that her father hit her and that Cai had been angry when he’d found out, but still, I’d somehow convinced myself that was a one-time thing. It obviously wasn’t. She pulls her dressing gown tight around her small frame and hurries us into the kitchen. The rain hammers against the window, and the sound almost steals away her whispered voice as she says, “If your family finds out―”
“I know. I have to go.”
A pained smile pulls at one side of Penny’s mouth, the side that isn’t three times its normal size and bleeding. “You’ll need things to keep you going.” She whips herself into action and finds a leather satchel hanging in the pantry, which she starts stuffing with food. I’m standing there like an idiot when the Therin from before enters the kitchen and takes a sharp breath.
“Uh―” I clear my throat. “Penny?”
Penny turns around and scowls at the Therin. “Don’t just stand there. Help me.”
The woman starts like she’s been caught slacking off and joins Penny in dumping small rolls of bread and hunks of cheese into the satchel. A few oranges find their way in there too, and a flask of water. Penny shoves the bag into my hand and leads me back to the door.
“I have no idea how I’m going to do this,” I groan. “You don’t understand. There’s a fence and guards and―”
“Whatever you do, don’t try to clear the fence,” she says hurriedly.
“Then what? How am I supposed to get out?”
Penny glances over her shoulder as the stairs creek loudly, signalling someone is coming down. “Penny? What are you doing? Who’s at the door?” It’s her father. A look of fear washes over her face.
“Follow the river. You can get out that way.”
“But how?”
The creaking of the stairs turns into actual footsteps, and Penny panics, pushing me out of the door. “I don’t know, Kit. Cai just said that he’d found a way. Maybe it’s on the stick. Watch it.” She pauses for a fraction of a second to reach through the slim gap in the door. She squeezes my hand. “Good luck.”
“Thank you.”
She closes the door, and I hear shouting on the other side.
*****
The material of my clothes is kind of water resistant, but once it’s been exposed to a sheeting downpour for more than a couple of hours it gives up any pretence that it’s going to be useful and starts taking on water. This makes running very hard, but I keep going. All in all, this was probably the best and worst time for me to decide to leave the Sanctuary. The city was abandoned while the storm raged on like the world was ending, and not one person confronted me as I raced through the richer areas, where the river flows. Like everywhere else in the Sanctuary, the salubrious side to the city eventually petered out and gave way to slums. Both of those places are behind me now. Now, there is just the narrow pathway between the fenced-in fields on one side of me, and the river on the other, which is swollen and angry.
The rain keeps coming and I don’t think it’s planning on stopping any time soon. I wonder if Lowrence has informed the authorities that I’m missing, and if they’ll have any idea of what I’m planning to do. It would be surprising if they did, because I don’t have a clue, myself. Some point soon, I have to find shelter―somewhere dry where I can rest for a minute and do like Penny said. I need to watch Cai’s holostick to figure out how I’m supposed to get out of here.
Doing that isn’t going to be easy. The land outside the city is flat for miles and miles in every direction. This highlights two major problems, which are these: First, I know there is nowhere for me to stop because these fields are seemingly endless, and there are no buildings or even any trees in sight. And even if there were, I wouldn’t be able to get to them. Just like y
esterday on the dirt track to the processing plant, there are chain link fences, only here not only do they go up remarkably high on either side of the water, but they then curve over to meet directly overhead. I am fenced in.
Second, it’s a major problem that the land is so flat because that means it’s incredibly easy for the river to burst its banks. And, referring back to problem one, I am fenced in. Right now I’m running on a very narrow pathway next to a raging body of water that’s incrementally getting bigger and bigger, and I have nowhere to go.
Turning back is impossible. The water has been rising gradually the whole time I’ve been running, and I wouldn’t get a mile before my situation becomes dire. My only option is to push forward as hard as I can and hope against hope that I hit something that can help me get out of this cage. Otherwise I’m going in the water, and I don’t like my chances of surviving that since I’ve never been swimming in my life.
If my halo were working right now, I’d probably be able to deal with this situation a whole lot better. But, logically, if my halo were working right now, I most definitely wouldn’t be in this situation at all. I ignore these kinds of thoughts while I push myself forward. My back’s been aching for the last eight miles mainly because the stupid satchel Penny gave me wasn’t designed to be worn while running, and it continually slams against my spine.
My brother’s face keeps flashing into my mind when he told me that everything was going to be okay, and I feel hideous for leaving him. It’s not as though he’s going to be personally offended that I’ve abandoned him, but it still stings. I should have persuaded him to come with me. Forced him to if need be. Not that his presence would help with what’s happening right now. My legs feel heavier with every step I take, and when I stumble and almost slip into the surging grey water, my heart rises up and threatens to burst out of my throat.
Halo (Blood and Fire Series (A Young Adult Dystopian Series)) Page 5