by Arell Rivers
Selfishly, I’m thankful that McKenna is here. She’s my friend, not his. I know she’s in my corner. I glance at her, but she’s too busy looking around the table.
I lean over and whisper in her ear, “They’re just people, McKenna. They’re very lucky that they get to spend time with you.”
Suzanne wades into the silence. “Where do you live, McKenna?”
“Las Vegas.”
Dan chimes in. “What do you do there?”
“I’m a graphic designer.”
Despite the situation, I can’t let her stop there. “Actually, McKenna owns her own graphic design firm. And she just won a huge new project for the Artist Avenue Adventure.”
Suzanne says, “I love the LED light show they have there.” She turns toward her husband. “Remember when we went there, Dan?”
The conversation picks up naturally. Luckily, I don’t have to participate much. McKenna’s winning over the table with her innate charm. I’m proud of her.
Jessie says, “I’m glad you had such a wonderful friend with you this week, Rose.” McKenna flushes with the compliment.
I nibble on a breadstick. Everyone is involved in conversation. McKenna is talking with Jessie and Amanda like they’re old friends. Bracing myself, I turn to Cole. His eyes search my face, pleading for me to say something. Work is safe.
Clearing my throat, I ask, “How are your father and brother doing? I haven’t heard back from them, so I assume the paparazzi have been leaving them alone?”
“They’re doing okay. I think one or two intrepid paps are still hanging around, but the majority dispersed after you called them off. Thank you for that.”
In truth, Kim executed my strategy to call them off. But I don’t want to utter her name now. “They didn’t deserve to be hounded.”
Cole tucks my hair behind my ear, stroking my cheek. “You look stunning tonight.”
I tense at his touch. No. Not here. I can’t do this in front of an audience, if at all. My breathing accelerates, jumpstarting my fight-or-flight instinct. This time, I choose flight. Removing my napkin from my lap, I begin to stand, but just then McKenna laughs, loud and long. Shoot. I can’t cut her last evening short.
Returning to my seat and swallowing audibly, I respond without looking at him, “Please. No.”
“Rose, I want to talk with you, but not like this.”
“Agreed.” I replace my napkin on my lap and decide to continue hiding behind work. “How was the PSA shoot?”
“I think it went well. The director seemed very pleased with it. He liked the photo of Mom.”
Fiddling with my napkin, I reply, “That’s good.”
Because I’m apparently a masochist, I can’t stop myself from asking, “And how was Kim?”
I picture them together like they were yesterday at Platinum—her hand on his arm, their hair picking up the glow of the sun . . .
“She doesn’t subscribe to Gruesome’s non-fraternization policy.”
My head snaps up. “What? What do you mean?”
“After the shoot ended, she asked me out for drinks.”
“That was Greta’s idea.”
“When I shot her down, she offered herself as dessert.”
So, Kim lied to me on the phone. Why am I surprised? I shake my head. “Did you—”
Cole cuts me off with a low growl. “No.”
The entire table looks at us, and I slink down in my chair. He modulates his voice lower and says, “Of course not, Rose.”
He takes a deep breath and exhales. “Look at me. Please.”
Slowly, I raise my eyes up to his. The room and our friends and the idle chatter all disappear as Cole takes center stage. His eyes draw me in, and I willingly go. In this instant, I feel so certain of everything. I love him. He loves me. We need to talk all of this out. Somehow we’ll get through what happened in Vegas—the things he did wrong and the mistakes I made. We have to.
“Your eyes are so expressive, Ro.” He reaches out and recaptures my hand, bringing it to his lips. Electricity runs up my arm, leaving goosebumps in its path.
In a breathy voice, I say, “Cole, we’ll talk after dinner, okay?”
“Is that a promise?”
I exhale. “Yes.”
He smiles at me. It’s a dazzling smile, and before I know it, my finger is tracing his dimple.
“I’ve missed this,” I murmur.
The arrival of our entrees interrupts us. More at ease than I’ve been in what seems like forever, I surprise myself by enjoying my meal and the conversation around the table.
McKenna’s hand moves stealthily toward a biscuit on my plate. I give her a light swat and pick it up, then take a big bite. She looks at me with large, innocent eyes.
She laughs and whispers, “I wonder which of your other appetites has suddenly returned?”
Giggling, I say, “I can’t believe you just said that.”
“Just calling it like I see it. And I’m happy for you.”
“Nothing’s changed.”
“Yeah, right.”
Dan addresses the table, “Ozzy was just filling me in on his upcoming residency.”
McKenna and I exchange curious looks. “What residency?”
“I’ve been asked to do shows at the Jade Casino in Las Vegas for the next year, Flower.”
Cole pipes up. “You’ll be the next Liberace.” He waits a beat. “And her name is Rose.”
“Very funny, Manchester. Ha, ha. I haven’t made up my mind about it yet, though. What do you think of the idea, Flow-er?”
The teasing way he elongates my nickname gives me a sense of belonging. It feels so right to be here with these people, surrounded by love. Flattered that Ozzy would ask my professional opinion, I take a moment to seriously consider his question.
“I take it that Platinum is on board?” He nods. “Your tour’s finishing up, so now would be the time for you to take a break and record your next album. Obviously, I haven’t done any research into it, but my gut tells me it’s great exposure. It’ll keep your name in the media until your next album drops.”
Cole puts his arm around the top of my chair. “Rose makes a good point, Liberace. Doing the show will help you avoid the media lull. And it’s possible you won’t have to do too many publicity dates, although maybe Mimi Barker is available.”
At the mention of Mimi’s name, Dan and Suzanne both start to laugh. “MooMoo was just the best. Suzanne and I were on vacation in Hawaii when Rose set them up, right when the ‘Prowling’ video came out. We would laugh for hours at what she put him through.”
Everyone joins in their laughter. As a little piece of revenge for Cole’s amnesia about our one-night stand in college, I had gone out of my way to set him up on publicity dates with the most annoying and vapid actresses and models in LA. Mimi was at the top of that list.
Cole grumbles, “She was the worst.”
For my ears only, he says, “But I distinctly remember you enjoying the punishment I gave you for setting me up with her.”
My cheeks heat up at the sensual memory. I can’t believe I enjoyed the spanking and the way he teased me with the vibrator. Squirming in my seat, I refuse to look at Cole.
“Right, Rose?”
Hearing my name, I look up. “I’m sorry, Ozzy. Can you repeat that?”
From my peripheral vision, I catch Cole smirking. “Asshat,” I mutter.
“Do you think a year is too long?”
My head swivels to McKenna as she starts to cough, but she waves me on. Once I’m convinced she’s fine, I return my attention to Ozzy. “Think about it in terms of how long it takes for you to write and record an album. If you can do both simultaneously, and even prepare for your next tour, then it’s probably the right length of time. What does your team say about it?”
He waves his hand. “They said it’s up to me. They didn’t raise the points you’re making, though.”
Cole extends his arm around my shoulders. “Back off my PR rep.”
/>
Proud and happy all at once, I reply to Ozzy, “I’m glad I gave you some food for thought.”
The waiter comes and removes our empty plates. Ozzy looks at me thoughtfully, then glances to McKenna before addressing Cole. “Maybe she needs another client.”
Oh, boy. Greta would love to get her clutches on bad-boy Ozzy Martinez. My thoughts are interrupted by the waiter’s return to take our dessert and coffee orders. Which turns into more drinks.
McKenna stands and says, “I need to powder my nose.”
Suzanne and I both join her in the ladies’ room. As soon as we enter, McKenna turns to look at me. “Are you all right?”
“I’m good.”
Suzanne jumps in. “I was so worried about tonight. I know that you two need to have a heart-to-heart, but I tried to talk him out of surprising you at dinner like this.”
“He knows me really well. If he had asked me, I never would have gone with him.”
“So you don’t hate us for showing up like this?”
“Suzanne, I could never hate you.” I give her a reassuring hug.
McKenna giggles. “I think it’s cute that he brought reinforcements.”
I know why he did. It’s overwhelming how much our friends believe in Cole and me—and comforting.
When I return to the table, Cole says, “I want to take you away from here so we can discuss everything in private.”
“I can’t tonight. I drove McKenna here.”
“And I drove Martinez.” Cole sits in silence for a minute, then raises his voice. “Yo, Liberace. When we’re done here, you can take my car home so long as you drop the lovely McKenna back at Rose’s, okay?”
“Are you okay with that, Flower?” I offer a small nod, and Ozzy winks at McKenna.
She must be in heaven. Ozzy is quite something, especially when he turns on the charm like he’s doing now.
I turn to McKenna, who looks a little ashen. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine,” she whispers to me. Raising her glass toward Ozzy, she says “Thanks.”
Cole chimes in. “All set.”
I take another gulp of my drink. Am I ready to face him? Can I do this? Jessie and Amanda walk over and stand between McKenna and me.
“Rose, I’m so happy you stayed for dinner,” Jessie says. We were so worried you would bolt when Cole came.” She leans in and continues, “Trust your heart. It’s a good one.” Then she gives me a hug.
She’s right. I need to trust my heart and lay everything on the table. “Thank you. I can’t believe that you did this for me.”
Next, Amanda embraces me. “I have a good feeling about you two.”
They give McKenna hugs as well and then say their good-byes to the rest of the table.
Turning to McKenna, I ask in an undertone, “Are you sure you’ll be okay going home with Ozzy?”
“I’ll be fine. You need to straighten him out.” She motions toward Cole.
I smile. “I’ll try my best, McKenna. I’ll be home tonight, so I can drive you to the airport tomorrow morning.”
Winking, she responds, “I won’t wait up for you.” She giggles and I shake my head.
Cole stands up and extends his hand, palm up. Softly, he says, “Ro, please, come with me.”
It’s the moment of truth. Can I do this? But as I look into those green eyes, another question overtakes the first: How can I not do this? My heart wins. I place my hand in his.
His whole body sags in relief, as if he didn’t really believe I would go with him until this moment. “Let’s say our good-byes.”
We turn to McKenna first. I give her a kiss on the cheek and say, “I’ll see you at home.” She gives me a thumbs up.
Cole says, “Thank you for being with Rose this week. I’ll bring her back in one piece, I promise.”
For her part, McKenna responds, “She’s very special to me. Don’t fuck up again, asshat.”
I laugh. Leave it to McKenna to say just what she’s thinking. Cole actually smiles and nods, like he’s kind of happy she’s sticking it to him. We offer farewells to the rest of the table and leave the relative sanctuary of the private dining room. While I go to the valet, Cole detours to talk with Wills and Roberto.
Is he ready to hear what I have to say? Am I ready to listen to his side of the story?
Later Friday evening
COLE PUTS MY rental car in park and kills the engine. We unbuckle our seatbelts but remain in the car with the windows down, enjoying the warm mid-September weather. We’re back at the overlook he took me to what feels like ages ago, with panoramic vistas of Los Angeles. Wills takes a remote spot in the empty lot.
“I gave Roberto the rest of the night off.”
I nod and find my voice. “The city looks beautiful from up here.”
“Not as beautiful as you, Ro.” He reaches out and strokes my cheek with the back of his fingers. Lowering his voice, he says, “I thought I lost you.” He drops his hand.
I look at him. “This has been an awful week.”
“Ever mistress of the understatement, huh, Ro?”
I give him a half smile and then look down on the city again. Closing my eyes, I ask quietly, “Why?”
“I was hurt and angry.” As usual, he surprises me by knowing exactly what I’m referring to without need of an explanation.
I nod. “Because of Marco?”
“Yes. Because of him. And what happened in New Jersey.”
I decide to tackle Marco first. “I didn’t mean for you to see Marco and me together. Wills was supposed to tell you that I was waiting in your suite.”
“So you are together?” Cole sucks in a breath, as if the words caused him pain.
I scrunch up my face. “No!” Reaching out, I take hold of his hand. “No, we’re not. We haven’t been together since before college.”
“Why—” He clears his throat. “Rose, why were you with him at the concert?”
I drop his hand. “He stopped by Mom’s the day I was supposed to fly back out here. Talking with him made me realize how much I wanted to be with you. Once I made that decision, I couldn’t wait to tell you. He offered me a free ride to Las Vegas in his company’s plane.” I shake my head and whisper, “I should have waited.”
Trying to gauge his reaction, I gaze into Cole’s eyes. I continue, “I knew Greta was going to be in Vegas with you. The plan was for us to stay hidden in the back of the room while Roberto got your room key from Wills.”
My gaze flicks over to Wills’s car in the parking lot.
“Roberto refused to let us stay in the lobby, saying he needed a visual on me at all times. Unfortunately, Greta spotted me. Then Marco asked her to be introduced to you. It was a total cluster-f.” I catch my breath. “There was nothing I could say or do, other than try to cut the meeting as short as possible.”
Cole shakes his head. “I couldn’t get beyond the sight of his arm around your shoulders.”
“Marco is firmly in my past.” Cole needs to know everything. “We broke up right before I went to NYU because I found out he cheated on me. On the plane, he admitted that he had treated me badly back in high school because he didn’t know how to handle his feelings for me.”
“He wants you back.” His tone is not a question.
I want to smooth the frown lines from his forehead, but clasp my hands together instead. We need to talk. And I need to be completely honest if I expect the same from him.
Sighing, I admit, “He said I’m his biggest regret.”
Cole’s head snaps up. His pained eyes meet mine. “Do you—”
I cut him off. How can he even think this? “No! I don’t. Back in Jersey, I was feeling all sorts of confused. Mom and his mother are best friends, and they were matchmaking.”
“More like meddling,” he mutters.
“Well, true. But, I’m not interested in him. At all.”
Cole smiles briefly, but then his look turns very serious. “I’m sorry.”
I follow the
jump in the conversation. “You went to Starr’s hotel room because you thought I was hooking up with Marco?”
“Yes. It was like I was reliving the fiasco with my high school girlfriend all over again. The night I was going to ask her to prom, she walked up to me arm-in-arm with her ex-boyfriend, just like you and Marco. They got back together that night. I was just a placeholder.”
“You thought I was doing the same thing?” I ask in disbelief. How could this man be anyone’s placeholder?
He nods, but it seems like his mind is somewhere else. Probably back in high school. Cole shakes his head as if to clear the images and says, “That’s no excuse, though.”
“What happened?”
It’s his turn to be honest. I tense. Air won’t move through my lungs.
“When I finished signing autographs, I went to the hotel bar with Gruesome and a bunch of other people. After a while, everyone but Starr—Lisa—left us. We drank. A lot. Shots, champagne and scotch. She came on to me, and I was convinced that you had gone off to be with Marco, so I . . .”
When he doesn’t complete his thought, I murmur, “I was waiting for you in the penthouse. Alone. Wills was supposed to tell you . . .”
My voice trails off.
We sit in silence.
“I saw Wills before I left Caesars, but I didn’t let him talk. I . . . I told him to leave me alone.”
“If he had told you, would you still have gone off with her?”
“No. I swear, if I had known you were waiting in my room, I would have gone right to you. I thought, well, you know . . .”
I believe him, and what’s more, I can’t help but understand. It’s something.
I nod.
He offers a wry smile. “I caught shit from Kates for giving Wills the slip.” Cole sighs and looks me directly in the eyes. “I was really, really drunk, Rose. I did go to her hotel room. I, I messed around with her a little. But I swear that we didn’t have sex. She was more than willing. I thought I’d lost you forever, but as drunk and angry as I was, I couldn’t do it.”