I sighed. “I know.” I kissed his head and turned towards the back door. The laundry was piled up beside the washing machine. I started a load before I continued through the backyard past the pond. It was dark inside the dojo. The sound echoed when I dropped my shoes on the floor. I walked to the center of the room and focused on my breathing, on my energy.
A long time later, the door opened and I turned, heart pounding as I searched the shadows.
An enormous figured walked towards me, footsteps silent until he was in the light of the window and I could make out his perfect features.
“Sean.”
“I don’t want to sleep without you. I went to your house but your bed was empty.”
“It’s a really small bed.”
“I don’t care.”
I took a long shaky breath while I gripped the frayed ends of my belt. “Sean, I’m so sorry about the lineage thing. I swear, I have the whole thing memorized. I could tell you now.” I did, starting with his father and going up and up each branch for generations until he cut me off.
“I don’t care what you know about my ancestors.”
I sighed. “Then the fake thing? I wasn’t talking about the Soremni customs. They’re perfectly real. We’re really maybe serious about this stuff.”
“I know how you feel about marriage and breeding. It’s fine.”
I walked over to him and put my palms on his chest. “It doesn’t feel fine. I don’t know anything about Vashni customs, but I know Soremni, the people, the culture, and half of me wants to go back to living in Terramore and adoring you mindlessly. More than half. I was so happy. But I’m not a Soremni female. I can’t choose a life without complications because I’m complicated. Still, the customs feel real. I look at you and I want you with me for the rest of my life.”
“So you freaked out because the custom felt too real, not fake enough?”
I shook my head and held out because it was so stupid, but he should be used to it by now. “I freaked out because I tasted the blood of all the monsters your ancestors killed.”
His breath hitched. “Do you think I’m like them?”
“No.”
He slid his hands up my arms, around my shoulders and held me carefully, like he was afraid of hurting me on accident, or on purpose. “I might be. This might all be an elaborate scheme to get you to trust me so I can betray you when you least expect it.”
I slid my hands around his neck. “I don’t care. Do you want to breed?”
He lowered his brows, casting his eyes in shadow. “Are you trying to seduce me into giving away all my secrets?”
“I want to know about your sex drive.” It was too dark for me to be embarrassed, so why was I blushing.
“I thought we already had this conversation.”
“How can you sleep with me and not be sexually frustrated?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
I stared at him. Well, that was honest. “Oh. Sorry.”
“It’s not your problem.”
“But it is a problem?”
“No.”
I sighed. “But you like sleeping in my bed?”
“I’d rather sleep in my big bed with you, but your bed is okay. Speaking of beds, are you finished here? I have an early morning.”
“And you want to get to sleep which means that you need me. I don’t understand.”
He pulled me against his chest, circling me with his arms. “You do understand. I need you. You said it yourself.”
I sighed and inhaled deeply. “You don’t have a mistress on the side, do you? Maybe five? No, that would be my heritage, not yours.”
“My doubles have contracts that they aren’t going to have any relationships in any way while working for me. None of us are going to cheat on you.”
“That seems a little harsh.”
“That’s what I thought before Maine. You need fidelity. I have no problem giving you that even if it takes a few bonuses to Yamwe and Owen.”
“And you need sleep. I have no problem giving you that even if it takes great sacrifice on my part.”
He laughed, a snort-laugh that I hadn’t heard in a long time. “We’re so ridiculously compatible. Come on, Gen. You need to take care of me. I’m your fake Vashni husband, you know.”
I reached up to trace the tattoos. “They feel real.”
“Don’t let that fool you.”
He kissed my knuckles one at a time until my skin was all shivery.
That’s when I pulled him close and tasted his skin, his throat, his jaw and shoulder. He would need another tattoo when I was finished with him. Would I ever be? No. Never.
Chapter 34
I woke up without Sean. Because he’d had an early morning. Right. The legendary Fielding Thanksgiving festivities. I pulled on oversize sweats and went downstairs. My dad was making breakfast. I stole a piece of bacon from the pan and burned my fingers. He swatted me with the spatula and sent me to sit down at the table.
“Why are you cooking for me?”
“We don’t get to do our annual spaghetti dinner, so I’m making up for it.”
“I made spaghetti last night.”
“Of course. Spaghetti would be a little gross for breakfast, don’t you think? I thought this morning we’d go to the dojo before the big dinner at the Fielding House. Your mother will be there.”
“Fun.” I scowled at my eggs before I ate them ravenously.
“You aren’t getting along with her?”
“It’s fine. I never see her. It’s great.”
“Do you want her to spend time with you?”
“No. Every time I see her she’s either threatening to kill me, or slapping me. Do you think she’s trying to make me flip out and kill her on accident?”
“She’s hurting you? Because she doesn’t know how to raise a human. They’re really hard on their young. Tough kids survive. Delicate ones don’t.”
“’And if anyone’s going to kill my kid, it’s going to be me,’ like that? Whatever. It’s not like I thought the Fielding stuff would be relaxing. Is the Queen going to be there?”
“No. Too bad Lucien won’t make it. I looked forward to having him here.”
I sighed. “He’s okay. Let’s go!”
We went to the empty dojo and started sparring with foam pads until we were both laughing, then moved onto kata and serious drills. I fell into that happy mindless zone state where the only things were me, my opponent, and the immediate space around us.
“Hey, Mr. Castle, I hope you don’t mind me coming in. I forgot my bag yesterday.”
I turned to look at Cole in the doorway. He didn’t look at me. Not at all. Like we were complete strangers or something. It was like high school all over again. Maybe it was the Portermutts thing.
“Your bag couldn’t wait until tomorrow? You should be helping your mom with the turkey. You know it creeps her out to pull out the giblets,” I said while my chest got kind of tight.
He whirled around to frown at me. “Vee? You came home for Thanksgiving. Good girl.” He pulled me into a hug and rubbed my hair with his fist like he was my annoying older brother or something. I threw him down onto the floor and put my foot on his chest.
“Good girl? I’d beat you up for that if I didn’t have to go put on a nice dress.”
He grinned from his place on the floor. “Tomorrow morning.”
“Cole,” my dad said as he frowned at me in a way that made me take my foot off him. “You’re welcome to come tomorrow to spar with Gen even if normal hours are cancelled. Gen, we’ve got to get going. We don’t want to miss your boyfriend’s big dinner.”
‘Boyfriend’ sounded so weird. I must have gotten used to ‘husband.’
Cole got to his feet, still grinning at me. “Can’t keep your man waiting. Later, Vee.”
Everything went downhill from there.
Thanksgiving included Sean’s extended family. His cousin, Brenda was there along with his other cousin, princess Cla
ristia. The only notably absent cousin was Oliver. I was standing beside the pool with a plate of appetizers in my hand, because who didn’t have waiters walking around with trays of appetizers at their Thanksgiving dinner, when Brenda came up to me with a satisfied smile on her red painted mouth.
“Tell me what to call you? Do you prefer Cleaver Queen, or the Diva of Terramore? Maybe Mrs. Fielding.”
“Since we’re such good friends, why don’t you call me Genevieve. I haven’t heard the diva one before.”
“No? You’re probably above gossip. It’s my work and my love, so I devour every bit of juicy gossip on a regular basis. Where’s Takeo? He must be upstairs with his cousin Claristia. They’re so close these days. Long ago, I thought she might convince him to marry her, but even though it’s a genetically sound match, it seems his heart was already occupied elsewhere.”
“He’s always occupied. He’s a very busy guy.” How to smile politely and sip my umbrella drink without accidentally knocking her into the pool? It wouldn’t hurt her, but it would hurt her beautiful dress and her perfect hair.
“He is. I can’t believe he has time to accomplish everything he does. You must be exhausted with all the meetings and rallies. Oh, you don’t go, do you? How convenient that Claristia has become his truest supporter. Without her maneuvering, I don’t think he would have been able to push through his suit against the Examiner.”
I unclenched my teeth and tried to smile at her graciously. “I haven’t spent as much time with her as I’d like. We went to concerts together.”
Her eyes narrowed. “So it was you.”
I blinked at her.
“The girl at dinner with Oliver. The pictures of you were so terrible that I couldn’t be sure. It’s such a private restaurant, so hard for the photographers to get good images. I didn’t think it was possible. Sean had his Vashni marriage mark at the very next game. Does he know that you were with Oliver?”
“Of course. He had training, so I went with Oliver and Claristia. Did the paparazzi say that she was juggling afrateau? She’s an extremely talented woman. Soremni females have such a broad range of skills. I’m always astonished at their gentleness and patience for someone like me who knows so little about cooking or all the beautiful yet complicated customs.”
“Why did you choose Takeo over the prince? Maybe you don’t want a prince, but a king. I’d put my money on Takeo as well.”
I stared at her. “What would I do with a king?”
“The king has all the power.”
“But this is a culture where a woman only has as much influence as her husband has, and not for herself but for her children, or am I wrong? What benefits are there to being married to a king?”
“The Vashni Queen seemed to understand the perks.”
“I’m not the Vashni Queen.”
“No, you’re the Queen’s exiled general’s daughter.” Her tone was amused and she smiled delicately at me.
I held my breath while I stared at her and my pulse pounded in my throat. That was a slur about my mother. She may be a monster, but she was my monster.
“I believe in the question of mates you must consider which will fulfill the truly important roles, that of husband and father. You wouldn’t understand, never having been swept off your feet by the perfect man, but there isn’t a great deal of choice when the perfect blue eyes pierce your soul and promise perfect fidelity and perfect genetics for our future children.” I put a hand on her arm. “I hope you can understand some day.”
She inhaled sharply and yanked her arm away from me. Oooh, I’d struck the right nerve. Bad Gen.
“Brenda, Genevieve, pardon the interruption,” Reeve Fielding said tucking my hand in his arm. I did not rip it away from him. He smiled at me like he didn’t notice the tension. “There’s someone I would like to introduce you to. Excuse us,” he said to Brenda and turned, walking me between the pool and the aquarium. “You seem to have mastered the art of the Soremni insult. I’m going to introduce you to one of our supporters who considers himself a musician. He’s a relative on your father’s side.” He glanced at me when he said that. Clearly not actually related to my dad, but someone who would know my pretend family lines.
“Were you rescuing her or me?”
“I like to think that you would both be perfectly behaved and not devolve into street fighting, but we’re talking about you, Genevieve. Did you really get into a gang fight in Cierdeep?”
I glanced at him. How had he heard about that? “What a strange question to ask.”
“I suppose it is. It’s a pity about the name of my ancestor that you misspelled. Otherwise, your exam was perfectly done.”
I stared ahead of me. “Was it misspelled? How clumsy of me.”
“At least you went back in and fixed it before the proctor went in.”
I stared at him, but he had his eyes on someone ahead of us, his warm smile firmly in place. So, Sorsha pretending to be me went in and fixed my mistake. How had she known I’d mess up? “It’s the least I could do.”
“You’re serious about this Soremni marriage?” He still didn’t look at me, but his words were heavy however light the tone.
“I’m trying to be. I’m afraid that I won’t be a very good Soremni wife.”
“I don’t imagine that my son would be any better as a Soremni husband than I was.” He cleared his throat as we neared an older gentleman with silver hair and an octopus-head cane. “Monsieur Trakais. You wished an introduction with my son’s lovely affianced. Genevieve, this is an old friend of the family, one of the few who didn’t let my exile get in the way of our friendship.”
Sean’s dad dropped my hand and I was left to stretch my hand out to the elegant old man. He bowed over my hand, but didn’t actually touch my skin. When he straightened he moved closer.
“Your duet moved me. I must say I’m grateful to the woman who inspired Takeo to the greatness which is his due.”
I wasn’t sure how to deal with so much effusiveness. His smile was as sweet and sincere as his eyes. Even as an old guy, he was an attention-getter. This was the rascal side of my fake family. I smiled back my sweetest Soremni smile. “The honor is all mine. It’s a great pleasure to finally meet your noble family.”
That was me acknowledging our relation without saying that his ancestors dabbled in cross-breeding with Vashni's.
His eyes twinkled. “Would you walk with me?” He put out his arm and I rested my fingers on it. He still had strength in him.
We walked out of the main room to the deck overlooking the pool. The leaves were blazing red, drifting down and floating on top of the water. The sun shone warmly on us, making up for the chill breeze.
“Do you know, I had a conversation with your affianced many years ago? I was left with the impression that he wanted nothing to do with politics or power. It was an extremely strong impression; in fact he swore that he would never consider any position of honor in the Soremni waters. Whatever you did to change his mind, our waters thank you.”
I frowned for a moment before I remembered to smile. “I think that you overestimate my influence. Sean has always had a mind of his own.”
He laughed. “Ah, your Vashni nature didn’t like that at first. How did he convince you to marry him?”
That was a good question. No, he hadn’t convinced me to marry him. This was all fake. It didn’t feel fake. At all. “I think that he crept up on me. I grew so used to him, I couldn’t imagine living without him. That’s not very romantic, is it?”
He laughed, a warm Soremni laugh that made me slightly nervous. “Don’t tell the youngsters that. They think love is all lightning bolts and rip tides that take you away without your will.”
“That’s not love; it’s obsession.”
He raised his eyebrows and studied me for some time. “You do not approve of the kiss of obsession? Many do not. Your soon to be husband does not have the kiss and neither will his children. Many think that’s as it should be, a line of kings free
of the curse. What do you think?”
A line of kings? For a moment I tasted blood. So many kings. So much blood.
“A strong king doesn’t need to control through fear. I think it’s very good.”
He nodded. “Ah, here is Takeo to rescue you from my questionable advances.” He winked at me and I kind of giggled.
Sean came up, bowed briskly to Monsieur Trakais and took my hand away from him. “Excuse us.” He walked me away as though I were his puppy on a leash. I leaned away from him and looked at him for a long time until he glanced at me. “You think that you’re safe with him because he’s old, but you wouldn’t be the first young woman to fall in love with a Trakais.”
“Rogues all of us. Look at me, bringing you to your knees because I decided that you were more likely to be king, and I desperately wanted to marry a king.” I made a face at him before I remembered that I was supposed to keep the façade at all times.
“Of course. I didn’t just come to save your virtue, but because we’re doing toasts. You’ll be there and everyone will congratulate our engagement and wish us a great future. It will take a long time. I noticed your dad slipped out, so I sent someone to bring him back.”
Toasts were so fun. We stood there, smiling and laughing at the millions of clever and charming sayings in Soremni that didn’t translate very well. I could have used a Spyguy in my ear to help with all the colloquialisms. Everyone ate while we stood there, smiling. I should have eaten more appetizers. After toasts and dinner, all the men got up to go shooting. Some women joined them. Sean asked me if I’d like to join him or stay with the women. I glanced over at Brenda and picked the less dangerous and deadly option.
I wasn’t the only female who rode along in one of the big recreational vehicles out into the woods towards the targets they’d set up earlier.
Once we got there, I jumped every time a shot went off.
I was in Sean’s group of elite young men and women, Claristia one of the other females there. She was wearing a sleek black outfit with boots and long sleeves. I had on a sheath dress. And heels. She must have changed while I was toasting.
“It’s too bad my brother couldn’t come,” she said in heavily accented English as she stood at my elbow. “You’re so nervous. You’d think that the daughter of Morganagh wouldn’t be so shy of firearms.” She laughed brightly, like it was the funniest thing in the world, so loud that several of the males glanced our way. The princess’s dark hair gleamed in the late autumn sunshine, and her skin was burnished and glistening. She was gorgeous. Why was it okay for cousins to marry? Didn’t they have the regular genetic problems with inbreeding?
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