She spat into the porcelain bowl. Homeward? Bitterness filled her stomach. No, just her apartment. A semi-permanent dwelling to raise Andi.
After pacing the hallway for several minutes, her nerves settled somewhat. Focus. She had to marshal all their belongings for the trip and stop dwelling on what she couldn’t change. Compartmentalizing the depressing dilemma, she coached herself in whispers to finish the task, keeping the horrid thoughts at bay.
She yanked Rhett’s belongings from the drawers and crammed them into the suitcase with a little too much force. Just as she rolled the suitcases next to the door, she heard the car doors slam.
With a wooden mask firmly in place, she treaded to open the door. Andi walked beside her father with her hand in his, and although she didn’t cry, her drawn face was pink and blotched. The red slashes on her lags were still visible, and Rhett led her into the main floor bathroom.
“It’s jellyfish stings. Not serious.” He settled on the tub and Andi sat next to him. He pulled a clear bottle from a sack he carried. “We need to put vinegar on them. At least there were no tentacles in her skin. The doctor said the storm must have brought in a swarm and thought maybe there might be small pieces floating in the water. He’s had a couple cases in the last two days.”
Wonderful. This she could do. Concentrate on Andi. Plus, the added advantage of Rhett’s fatherly concern wrapped around his daughter would leave him with little thought of her.
Jules breathed a prayer of thanksgiving that the child had been spared something worse, and helped spread the vinegar over the angry welts. Andi snuffled and complained her legs hurt, so Jules found some pain reliever in the zippered pouch of her suitcase.
By the time they doctored Andi, cleaned her up and dressed her, they had to leave for the airport. Andi slept through most of the plane trip, her little head lolling on her father’s shoulder. Jules couldn’t wait to get her home. Goldie had suffered the same fate, and Jules buried her agony by praying for the girls. What a lousy way to end a special vacation.
Late that evening, they drove into the garage, and Andi awoke with a scream, clinging to her father as he tried to remove her from her booster. The child refused to lie in her bed, so he carried her to his and stayed with her. Jules trudged upstairs and unpacked, letting the tears flow down her face. Rhett had barely spoken to her the entire trip. Clearly, he regretted the added complication of their union.
The next few nights, Andi remained with her dad and slept in his bed. Jules cared for her during the day, went about her normal chores, and caught up the laundry. A strange despondent aura settled between her and Rhett. After all they had been through and shared, she could hardly believe the awkwardness that now separated them. At least he hadn’t upped her duties like she’d feared. He went to work. She cared for Andi. She fixed dinner, he mowed the lawn. All the while squelching down a hopeless gloom. If it wasn’t for Andi, little conversation would have graced the house.
August arrived and the scurry to prepare for school started. Rhett took the day off to accompany Andi to first grade, but Jules’ heart wrenched with every step, every fake smile. She covered her misery by buzzing around like all the other mothers, taking pictures, waving, and double-checking Andi’s supplies. Yet her spirit was not in it. For Andi’s sake, she put on a good front.
Shortly afterward, Rhett left for two weeks to do a final check on the Chicago project, and Jules couldn’t help but feel relieved. After Andi’s bedtime, Jules crept into his bedroom, lay on his bed, and prayed. She groaned and buried her head in his pillow.
The next morning, she awoke, still in Rhett’s bed. Oh, she felt awful. Her arms and legs must have been molded of lead in the night. She was so tired. A quick glance at the clock revealed a good ten hour sleep. She stood and wandered into the bathroom.
As she stared into the mirror, a nagging thought pounded in her brain. She remembered another time her body had been so exhausted. It’d been many years ago, but she’d never forgotten it. Her stomach suddenly churned. Nooo. It couldn’t be. Here, about to be a grandmother. She could not be. No way. She surely wasn’t…pregnant! She was thirty-nine. Oh, Lord, please, no.
She lost no time after dropping Andi at school. She drove to Princeton and picked up a pregnancy test. Her hands shook as she read the directions.
After following instructions to a T, she paced and checked her watch. How could a few minutes drag on so? Finally, she snatched up the white stick. A plus greeted her eyes and she sank to the toilet lid in shock. She carried Rhett’s child. This just wasn’t possible, certainly not probable. How…how could this happen? One night? She groaned. She loved him so much and now his baby grew within her. And he could barely speak to her!
She finished the week in a haze. Rhett arrived home on Friday, and tension lit the air. She did the only thing she could. She confined herself to her upstairs rooms. Then Hannah’s call came. She’d been rushed to the hospital. The baby was coming. It seemed she went numb, unable to process what to do. To Jules’ surprise, Rhett organized everything, and they were in the SUV within the hour.
Late that night, Hannah birthed a boy, whom they named, Zander Lee. Healthy and beautiful, Jules cried when she held him. Her first grandchild.
They stayed for three days, until infant and mom were settled at home, and then they headed back to Indiana. The next morning, Jules rose and organized Andi for the day. She dropped her off at school and made her way back into the garage. When she came into the kitchen, Rhett sat at the counter.
“What…are you doing here?”
“I never left.”
“You…didn’t go to work this morning?”
“Nope.”
She approached, laid her purse on the granite, and perched on the end stool.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
Her eyes flew to his. Oh, glory above. The horrible scene with Darrell clouded her thoughts. The strange light in his eye sent her breathing to short gasps. Rhett was done with her. Here it came—again. Her chest swelled with pain, and she tried to breathe without sobbing.
He moved to the stool next to her and took her hands in his.
“I…think we’ve grown apart.”
She blinked at him, her heart in her eyes. She’d be on her own. With a child.
“Have you changed your mind about being married to me?” He scrutinized her face.
She swallowed and shook her head. He nodded, his gaze never left probing hers. What would he say?
“Jules, I overstepped my bounds with you. I promised to be a friend, your roommate. But I let myself get carried away in Florida, and when we got back you were so distant, I just assumed you regretted that night.”
“I didn’t and I don’t, but I thought maybe you did. You rushed Andi off to the clinic and I…” She trailed off in a whisper as tears dropped from her lashes.
He shook his head. “I need to apologize about leaving you behind. I wasn’t thinking clearly. All I wanted was to get help for Andi and usher everyone home as soon as possible.”
Jules inhaled a shaky breath. “So, have you changed your mind about us?”
He gave a crooked smile as he wiped her tears away. “I haven’t. I only regret not being completely clear with you. You see, I don’t want to be just a friend or your roommate anymore. Not positive I ever wanted that. Maybe I just fooled myself. What I really want is to be your real spouse. I should have told you this in Florida.”
He gripped her hands and locked on her with intense eyes. “I love you, Jules.”
She gasped, and he grinned wider, his brow lifting in question. “That is if you want me as your husband.”
Blood pulsed with such force through her body, she was sure he could hear it. She shook her head as more tears fell. “Oh, Rhett, I’ve loved you for so long, and I never thought I could love again. You befriended me during the lowest time of my life, and you cared for me and lifted me up through every obstacle. You and Andi.”
He leaned forward and brushed his lips
against hers.
“But there’s something you need to know.”
His smile slowly disappeared, and his eyes grew dark and serious. “All right.”
“I’m pregnant.”
His jaw fell open and he stared. “Are you kidding me?”
Miserably she shook her head.
A grin broke across his face, and he eased her to him. His chest shuddered as he breathed. At last, he set her back and gazed at her with those beautiful azure eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She shrugged.
“I can’t believe I’m going to be a father again. Andi will be through the roof.” He laughed, picked her up, and swirled her around in a circle before easing her down carefully. “Jules?”
“Yes?”
His lips twitched and his left brow lifted. “Will you move to my room?”
She laughed and wiped a tear. “What would we tell Andi?”
He smiled that crooked smile and kissed her good and hard. “We’ll think of something.”
* * *
Jules peered down at herself in the blue, sparkled wedding gown. She looked identical to the vision a year and a half ago in a Gatlinburg hotel mirror. Same dress, hairstyle, shoes, veil, and flowers. Only this time, a glitter of excitement and love glowed from her eyes as she scanned everyone seated in folding chairs on the patio. Hannah, Jason, baby Zander, Jillian, Rhett’s folks, Jules’ parents, and stepfather. Jules’ father cradled Jules and Rhett’s new three-month old, Brody Rhett Carsen, who slept contently.
Andi, clad again in a beautiful blue dress, smiled cheekily at her from the sun room doorway, and turned to start her march down the aisle, scattering red rose petals. A myriad of church folks and friends, including Pete and Cora Grayson, with Goldie in a fresh yellow dress, filled the chairs on both sides. The flowers cascaded on the tunneled arch, and small lights lit up the dusk-darkened patio.
But mostly, her gaze stayed upon her husband in the navy tux at the end of the tunnel. His blue eyes were firmly fastened to the glass door to the sunroom, waiting for her to emerge. Oh, she loved that man.
Jules took a deep breath and gathered it all in. She patted her stomach that was not only queasy with the excitement of the day, but also from another new life growing there. She smiled, thinking of Rhett’s reaction to her announcement tonight. An additional Carsen joining the family. No doubt Andi would be dreaming of a little sister when the news got out.
She placed her hand on the handle of the door. Her soul sang. Thank you, Lord for rebuilding my life, for never abandoning me, and for teaching me to understand that sometimes I must wait. A tear quivered on her lash. Your blessings overwhelm me. She pressed a gloved hand to her lips to stanch the tears. The paned glass in front of her slid open, and she stepped through the opening to journey down the tunneled arch toward her husband and her future.
Please enjoy this sample from Year of Jubilee by Peggy Trotter available from Prism Book Group!
Gibson County, Indiana, December 31st, 1849
Jubilee Stallings’ forehead collided with the wall. Stars flashed behind her closed lids. She lay completely still. Her face heated and her body ached, yet she dared not move.
“You’re worthless,” her husband’s slurred voice continued.
She heard his footsteps stagger across the floorboards.
“You’re nuttin’ but a dog, and…and…a piece…of dung.”
The floorboards thundered as his body hit the floor. Scraping sounds emitted from the other side of the room.
“I…oughta…”
He continued mumbling unintelligibly. Jubilee pressed her bruised brow against the icy wood of the wall and prayed. Fresh tears wet her face. Please fall asleep. Almost on command, Colvin gave a snore. Jubilee continued to lie immobile, although, now that the initial rush of adrenaline had worn off, the frigid air made her naked body want to shake. She clenched her teeth and fought against her body’s urge. Snores filled the air.
She pushed to a sitting position and eyed the straw mattress where Colvin had sprawled. Moving as cautiously as a newborn colt, she crawled to her dress by the door. She pulled it on as a set of shivers ripped through her body. With her sweater in hand, she crept to the fireplace. Only dying embers remained, but Jubilee couldn’t risk adding another log. Her teeth chattered as she tucked her feet beneath her skirt and pulled up the ragged cardigan to ward off the chill.
She grimaced as she rubbed the swelling on her neck where he’d choked her. The moonlight broke through the clouds, highlighting the marks scratched into the wall near the stone mantel. She’d carved the last one this morning—December 31, 1849. More than a full year had come and gone since she’d begun marking. Tomorrow would be her second birthday in this house. Once again, tears threatened. She’d be eighteen.
The day had dawned in a gray haze, but the day of her birth marked a new year, which always buoyed her with hope. The hours had passed pleasantly. She’d filled the wood box, baked fresh bread, and gone to bed looking forward to tomorrow. Until Colvin had exploded through the door, startling her from a deep sleep. She closed her eyes and her mind. It was always the same. More tears spilled from her swollen eyelids.
She tensed as Colvin sputtered a few times before going back to his ear-splitting snores. Noting where his pants had dropped, she decided to wait a little longer before she pilfered a couple coins. Any more and he’d notice and beat her senseless. Now, time to rest and recover her strength. She’d make sure she wasn’t near the cabin when he woke. Hopefully he’d follow his usual pattern and be off and gone for the next several weeks. Let it be months, she prayed. I don’t care if he ever shows up again. For now, she needed rest.
She woke a short time later, collected a few coins from Colvin’s pockets, and opened the door, thankful for the quiet leather hinges. Because of the cold, she wouldn’t head to the woods, her favorite hiding place. She’d settle for the barn, a huge hulking structure. Her breath formed a ghostly fog about her in the chill, crisp air. Fear licked at her, and she ran from the evil sleeping in the cabin.
Inside the barn, she moved quietly so as to not stir the cow, who loved to greet her in the early morn. She scrambled into the loft and buried herself in a cave of hay. The exertion left her body panting, but warm. With the protection of the sweet hay around her, she fell asleep.
* * *
Jubilee started. She blinked a few times before she realized where she was. Dust tickled her nose. Noises caught her attention. Colvin saddled his horse in the stall below. He spoke in gentle tones. The man had always been kinder to his beast than he had been to her. A door opened with a creak and a low thudding indicated man and horse made their way to the exit. Good riddance, she thought as the barn door closed.
With Colvin gone, Jubilee took up residence once more in the cabin. Her hands were like ice blocks as she started a fire from the few remaining embers. Once her fingers warmed, she brought the coins out of her pocket. They needed to be hidden. Jubilee climbed on the rough table and located the canvas bag she kept behind a loose board in the eaves. Not much left. The stash might last two months if she were careful. After climbing down, she pulled the bench as close to the hearth as possible. Some birthday. She sighed. At least a warm fire burned in the fireplace. Perhaps now she’d have a time of peace.
* * *
Spring arrived and by mid-April, Jubilee’s desire for peace fought with her need for food. She’d dropped a good amount of weight since Colvin’s visit. All the meager supplies she’d managed to purchase in January had long since been used. She’d run out of flour six weeks ago, and out of salt in early February.
She’d killed five of the chickens, one by one, save the last hen and one rooster. Now she only took an occasional egg for breakfast, hoping there’d soon be a new brood of babies. Otherwise, the chickens would be gone too.
Elsie, the old cow, had been nothing but a sack of bones wrapped in leather in early March, although now she found tender grass to revive herself. She’d gone dry,
and without a bull, she wouldn’t freshen soon.
Jubilee turned her attention to the task at hand and drove the cutting edge of the shovel into the packed sod once more with her bruised heel. She paused a moment to wipe the sweat from her brow and survey her accomplishment. The small eight-by-ten patch of newly-turned soil made it hard for Jubilee not to let discouragement grip her.
Her stomach clenched in hunger. A drink of water would help, but the bucket and dipper stood a good twenty feet away, which was too much work. She thought of the thin wild onions and dandelion greens she’d laid on the table for lunch. The meager meal duplicated what she’d eaten every day for weeks, but she could hardly wait to devour them. Yet she had to wait. This garden was vital and had to be big enough to allow her to store sufficient food until next year. She sighed. It needed to be four times this size.
Jubilee pushed herself away from the handle of the shovel and rambled to the water bucket. She settled in the new grass and grabbed the dipper. Her life depended on getting the ground dug, raked, and ready for planting by mid-May.
Her ears picked up another sound. Her brow wrinkled and her eyes flew open. A horrible dread washed over her. Hoof beats. Distant, but very real. Her head snapped up.
Colvin.
Of course him. Who else? Seldom did anyone come out this far. Her weary body, so tired before, tensed with fear. She glanced from the woods behind her to the barn. Where could she hide?
The creak of saddle leather was audible now. He’d soon be coming through the tree-lined pathway. The cabin blocked his line of sight if she headed for the trees now. But it had to be now. She turned and trotted past the outhouse, praying she’d reach the woods before he saw her.
Another sound stopped her dead in her tracks. Whistling. Colvin never whistled. She changed direction and crept to the side of the cabin.
* * *
Rafe sat easily in the saddle. He tilted his head toward the sky and shielded his eyes with his right hand. Had to be near past lunch. He looked ahead and saw a break in the thick branches. That had to be it. He urged his Appaloosa to a faster pace, anticipating laying eyes on his new property.
Reviving Jules Page 23