Kane showed no reaction; he stared out the front windshield, his features stony.
“She took a bullet for me,” Kane finally said. “Did you know that?”
Stunned, Aidan couldn’t respond right away. “She told me about the first time you guys met, that you were shot, but she never said...”
“She threw herself between me and the bullet. It passed right through her and into me. Even then she refused to leave me, the stubborn little thing. Instead of getting her ass to safety like I told her, she sat down on the ground, prepared to fucking die for me again, unless I got myself up and got us both out of there.”
Silence rang throughout the cab, the only sound the low hum of the thick tread over the pavement, until Aidan murmured, “Sounds like Becca.”
Kane grunted. “Yeah. So then, after we finally make it to safety, she takes off – she fucking takes off - shot and bleeding, back into the fucking jungle to try to save some of the Sisters she’d been travelling with.” Kane paused. “I told myself she was an adrenaline junkie with a serious death wish. That I was no different than any of the others she tried to save that night. It’s how I managed to live with myself for those next few months, with the fact that when she went back in, I wasn’t with her.”
“And then, then, after searching for news of her for weeks on end, she ends up here, in fucking Pine Ridge. Like the answer to a prayer and the embodiment of a curse at the same time.”
Aidan’s brows creased. “Not following you on the curse part.”
“You were right when you said she saves things. And again when you said anyone who tried to change her was a moron. You see, Aidan, the thing is, I want to change her. I want to keep her here, safe with me, and make sure she never risks anything worse than a paper cut for the rest of her life, get me? Because if anything ever happened to her, I would fucking die. Christ, when Jake told me what happened at the shelter, I swear I did fucking die for a few seconds.”
Aidan’s brows knitted further together in confusion. “So... letting her think you don’t care about her so she goes back to doing what she does with no one to watch her back is better how exactly?”
“She would grow to hate me, Aidan. She’d try to make me happy; I know she would. At least this way, I know that whatever she does, it’s because she wants to, because, as you said, that’s who she is. No one – especially not someone as strong as Rebecca – can become something they’re not, not even for love.”
“You did.”
Kane snorted. “Nothing about me has changed.”
“Really? Then six months ago, had I said the same things to you I did tonight, we’d find ourselves talking like this?”
“No,” Kane admitted (far too easily, in Aidan’s opinion), “I’d be scraping up little bits of you and burying them outside my cabin right about now.”
“Exactly,” Aidan nodded, trying to suppress the shiver that ran down his spine.
Kane swung the truck around in a perfectly executed U-turn that had the bourbon sloshing up and down both sides of Aidan’s stomach uncomfortably. Neither of them spoke as Kane made his way back to town down the winding mountain road. He didn’t even appear to be watching the road anymore; it was if he knew every turn, every bump, every pothole by heart.
Aidan hoped to hell he did. Almost as much as he hoped he could continue to keep the contents of his stomach from spewing all over Kane’s pristine interior.
“Did she tell you she’s leaving?” Aidan asked quietly as Kane pulled up in front of his townhouse.
Kane’s jaw clenched. “No.”
Aidan sighed and nodded somberly. “At the end of the month. She’s already told the realtor she’s not renewing her lease.”
“Where?”
“She wouldn’t say exactly, but I think she’s going back to the IRC. Probably down south where those tornadoes hit. I think, had she not been hurt, she’d already be gone.”
And Aidan knew, deep down, that if Rebecca left, he would never see her again. That she would not be coming back. And the only way to stop her from leaving was sitting next to him.
“So,” he said finally. “How are we going to keep her from going?”
Kane regarded him like he’d lost his mind. “We?”
“Oh, come off it,” Aidan said. “You are the only person Rebecca has ever listened to.”
“Not anymore.”
“Then we’re fucked. Because the only way Rebecca is going to stick around is if you find a reason for her to.”
Chapter Eighteen
Two Weeks Later
There were too many men hovering around her, vying for her attention. It certainly didn’t help that she looked beyond gorgeous in that silk sheath that passed for a dress, or that her hair had been expertly styled so that it draped in cascading waves around her pretty face. Kane was seriously beginning to question the sanity of any plan that had her looking like that and in the vicinity of any man still attached to his balls.
The bruises had faded, though she still seemed to favor the off-to-the-side part of her hair. He did, too. It had a way of accentuating the almost imperceptible almond shape of her unusual brown eyes. Not for the first time, he wondered about her heritage. It didn’t matter to him in the slightest, but it was intriguing.
She and Aidan were definitely brother and sister – there was no doubt about that. When they stood next to one another it was impossible not to see the uncanny resemblance – skin with a natural, darker golden glow, like they had just spent the day at the beach. Honey gold hair streaked with darker and lighter strands provided a spectacular illusion of depth. Secretly, Kane had always assumed Aidan achieved that look chemically, but he knew Rebecca didn’t, so he’d been forced to revise that opinion.
Most intriguing of all, however, were their distinctive eyes. They were a deep, rich brown ringed in hazel and mahogany, liberally sprinkled with shimmering gold. The total effect was striking, really. Looking at the two of them together you had the strange feeling that you were looking at two people who were just a bit beyond everyone else, perhaps the last in some exotic lineage. Maybe, at some point, he would ask Ian if he’d ever looked into Aidan’s background. He had a feeling he had; Ian was a nosy by nature, and would have wanted to know everything about anyone who spent as much time with Lexi as Aidan did.
She hadn’t spotted him yet. Observe without being observed. It was important that he understood every player, every angle, every nuance. Kane was nothing if not thorough once committed to a mission.
One young man seemed particularly tenacious. He couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of Rebecca. He hung on every word she said, though she rarely spoke. The little bastard kept finding ways to touch her, to brush against her, lightly place his fingertips on her arm.
“His name is Phoenix,” Ian said quietly into his ear. He and Jake had taken over behind the bar, dismissing Aidan’s hired help. It was mostly family here anyway.
“What the hell kind of name is that?” Kane mumbled, leaving Ian trying to hide the grin.
“He works here. Lex says he’s one hell of a sous chef.” He was too damn good looking, too. About six foot, give or take. Lean. Had a bit of a Mediterranean look about him, like he might be part Greek, like Lex. He was so obviously not Rebecca’s type. And he kept touching her.
“Why does he keep touching her like that?”
Ian pretended to look. “She doesn’t seem to mind.”
But she did mind. Kane could see it clearly. His lip curled back in a snarl.
“Kane, man.”
“What?”
“You’re growling.”
Oblivious to the stares of his family, he stalked across the room and tapped on the kid’s shoulders. “Phoenix” might have been a grown man, but next to Kane’s six-five, two-fifty pound frame, he looked more like an adolescent.
“Think we should have told him Phoenix is gay?” Jake chuckled.
“Where’s the fun in that?” Ian answered, the ever-present mischievous gleam li
ghting his blue eyes.
Kane took Rebecca’s hand, ignoring her look of genuine surprise at his sudden appearance, and led her out to the dance floor. She couldn’t refuse him without making it obvious, and he was betting on the fact that she would not want to cause a scene.
“What are you doing?” she asked. He loved that her voice was nearly breathless, loved that it was his presence making her feel that way. Kane held her close.
He felt her soften against him. God, it felt good. Rebecca made all the pain go away. Just touching her drained all the darkness, refilling him with light and warmth. He must have been a complete idiot to believe for one moment he could go the rest of his life without this. With each breath he drew in her soft, clean scent; it was so soothing, like cool silken sheets over his heated skin. For a few minutes they said nothing, each too intent on absorbing every last sensation from the other.
It was Kane who finally broke the silence. “Why were you dancing with him?”
It was hard not to take pleasure from the bemused expression on her face as she tilted it upwards to look at him, as if she had no clue who he was talking about. In two minutes he had managed to completely obliterate the thought of another man from her mind.
“Phoenix,” he prompted, the name leaving a bad taste on his tongue.
Her lids blinked slowly over those brown eyes that now held more gold than anything. Eyes that he could stare into for an eternity. “Because he asked me.”
“He’s all wrong for you.”
The corners of her mouth twitched. “Yes. But it was nice to be asked, even if my brother did put him up to it.”
Kane frowned. “Why would he do such a thing?”
“Because he loves me, and he thinks it will make me happy.” There was a sadness in her voice that wasn’t there before, mixed in with the patient serenity that was such a part of her.
“What will make you happy, Rebecca?” he whispered against her ear, letting the moist heat of his breath skim over her skin. He felt her full body shiver acutely.
“You.” The word was less than a whisper, a mere puff of air against the cotton of his shirt. Perhaps she hadn’t really said anything, and he had imagined it simply because he wanted that to be her answer so badly.
The song ended all too soon. Any hopes he had of keeping her out there with him for another dance were dashed when the band announced that they were taking a short break but would be back soon.
“You are a wonderful dancer.” Rebecca’s hands slipped away from his neck. Her fingers rested lightly on his chest, but she might as well have laid a taser against him for the effect it had. Electrical shocks jumped from her fingertips through the fabric of his shirt and right under his skin. Her face tilted up once more as she began to step away; he had to fight the urge to crush her to him. He looked down into those big brown eyes, the golden sparkles fading away even as he watched and his heart clenched. She was leaving him, letting him go. Again.
“It was nice to see you again.”
And then Kane found himself alone.
Rebecca disappeared into the crowd. Eventually he realized he was still standing in the same spot and forced himself to walk over to the bar where Jake and Ian were pretending they hadn’t just seen everything.
He searched for her, the need to know exactly where she was at all times a tangible thing. He spotted her. There, over in the corner. He couldn’t see her face; her head was bowed. Aidan was speaking to her, his hand on her shoulder. She nodded, she shook her head. Aidan pulled her into her arms. If Aidan hadn’t been her brother, if they hadn’t come up with this plan together, Kane was sure he would have killed him where he stood.
Phoenix – the tool – kept appearing. Along with several other men. Bringing her things. Attempting to engage her in conversation. She maintained her gentle, polite smile, but he noticed she refrained from touching any of them like she had him.
Someone else brought her a glass of wine. She accepted it graciously, but didn’t raise it to her lips. Kane shook his head. Rebecca didn’t like wine. She had a sweet tooth. He would have brought her something sweet and creamy. Something that tasted like those damn chocolate candies she was addicted to.
And that dress. Who had picked it out for her? She was a vision, no doubt about that, but Rebecca would have never chosen that for herself. No, she would have selected something much simpler, cleaner. Natural fabrics that caressed her skin. She would not consider herself worthy of silk.
He grinned to himself. Perhaps brushed cotton. Or his flannel. Yes, he decided that once he had her all to himself he would keep her clothed in his flannel shirts. And nothing else. On those rare occasions when he allowed her to wear anything at all. Naked and in his bed would be the preferred standard, though.
Kane forced himself to refocus on the task at hand. Now that he had accepted the truth and committed himself to the knowledge that he and Rebecca belonged together, nothing would detract him from his mission. He circled around the back of the room, watching. Waiting.
It was difficult to see her and know her unease and not do anything about it. No one seemed to know as much about her as he did. This party made her uncomfortable as hell. Oh, she was smiling and being nice to everyone – that’s just who she was. But he could see what no one else seemed to – that she wasn’t comfortable with all the attention. The lights, the noise, the incessant well-wishers – they were wearing her down.
He placed himself out on the balcony for just that reason. When she could manage to do so without hurting anyone’s feelings, she would slip out here, alone. And when she did he would be there, waiting.
It took longer than he would have liked, but Kane was nothing if not patient. He stood in the shadows, the coolness of the night air a welcome respite from the stuffiness of the ball room. She did not look over his way when she finally managed to make her temporary escape.
He’d always thought Rebecca was a beautiful woman, but in the light of the brilliant full moon she was breathtaking. Her honeyed hair glowed an iridescent silver; her skin captured the light and intensified it, making it appear as if it was radiating from within. In the silken sheath she wore, she could have been a goddess. A goddess who, in this moment of perceived solitude, had the saddest eyes he had ever seen.
How had he ever thought he could let her go? How could he have allowed himself to believe she would be better off without him? She was too kind, too afraid to hurt other’s feelings, even when she was miserable. And she was miserable. Beneath the tranquil smiles and soft words, she was hurting as much as he was.
The thought gave him courage. She needed him, to care for her when she would not do it for herself. To protect her from all this bullshit. And he could do that. He could definitely devote the rest of his life to caring for Rebecca, to loving her more than anyone else ever would. And if he had to change his ways, somehow, he would find a way to do the impossible. For her.
* * *
Only when she had reached the edge of the balcony, out of the spill of lights from the inside, did Rebecca allow her shoulders to slump. She stared out upon the valley below, taking deep, cleansing breaths. Thankfully, she would be leaving soon. She’d spoken with everyone; she had the memories of their smiling faces to take with her. She was glad she’d told Aidan to keep it a birthday party and not a going away party. There would have been too much sadness, and she simply couldn’t bear any more of that.
Rebecca might not have allowed herself to get too close to any of them, but that was just the way she was. She did like them. And she would cherish her memories of them when she was gone. She’d even had a chance to dance with Kane, something she never would have imagined. He’d actually held her close against him. On purpose. While he was awake. And it had been better than anything she could have dreamt of.
For those few minutes, her entire world had consisted only of him. Against her better judgment, she’d melted into him, letting him take control, just one last time.
Because when she was in Kane’s
arms, everything was right with her world.
Rebecca sighed. It had only been a dance, but it was one she would never forget. It had been heavenly. She closed her eyes and shivered in the icy air. Even out here she could sense his presence...
“Nice party.”
She started at his voice. She tried to turn around, but his large hands on her shoulders prevented her from doing so. Rebecca tried to contain the trembles that ran through her at his touch, at the warmth she felt at her back. “Yes, it is.”
Kane chuckled softly, the sound like the chuffing of a great big bear. “And you hate every minute of it.”
She thought about refuting him for a moment, then sighed. She couldn’t pretend with Kane. Didn’t want to. It seemed pointless. He’d always been able to see right through her. “Yes.”
With only the slightest pressure from his fingers he leaned her back against him, so that her back rested against his chest. She could feel his heart beating. It was, predictably, like the rest of him. Strong. Steady. Demanding and purposeful. His arms slid beneath hers; his hands clasped around her waist.
She allowed her hands to cover his, melting backward into all that hard, living marble. Her mind told her she should not be doing this, surrendering to him like this. It would only hurt more later. But her heart had always had more of a say in what she did than her head. If this was all he could offer, she’d take it, for as long as she could get it. She’d lock away the memory of it, keep it for those times she questioned what she really wanted in life. Because this – this was the best birthday present of all. To be with him, if only for a little while.
The seconds stretched into minutes. It was just the two of them upon the balcony, the lights of the valley stretched out far below. The band had returned and was playing again, a sweet, romantic song that drifted out through the glass panels. Rebecca had no desire to move away from him. In his arms, not even the wintry air could chill her. He was strong and warm and solid, and when he was near, nothing else could touch her. He was Kane. And whether he knew it or not, he held her heart and her soul.
Guardian Angel: Callaghan Brothers, Book 5 Page 18