by Maggie Ford
‘Dear God, but this is awful!’ Stephanie broke out. Her sister, having helped their mother to the well-scuffed brown leatherette settee, was gazing around in horror.
Stemming her tears, Julia swung round on her. ‘What were you expecting then, Buckingham Palace?’ she spat.
Stephanie hardly noticed. ‘Is this all you could find for us, Julia? Honestly, there’s hardly room to have a good sneeze! Surely you could have found something a bit larger, a bit brighter, something more…’
‘I had two days. We’ve hardly any money…’
‘But it’s awful…’ Stephanie broke off as their mother began to cry. ‘Mummy, it’ll be all right. We’ll find something better in a day or two,’ she soothed, sitting down beside Victoria to put an arm about her shoulders while her brother and youngest sister looked on, silent and lost.
James was the first to recover. ‘It’s not too bad, considering,’ he said, trying hard to sound encouraging. ‘So, what are the bedrooms like? I hope they’ve got beds in them.’
He gave a forced chuckle to accompany the lame humour, but already Stephanie was staring at the pile of material stacked in one corner. ‘What’s all that?’
‘It’s from Father’s warehouse,’ Julia said, encouraged to see that her mother had recovered enough to follow her daughter’s gaze with curiosity. ‘I got Fred to put it all in the car for me and bring it here.’
Stephanie stared at her, aghast. ‘You broke into Father’s warehouse after it had been locked up? What were you thinking? You could have got us into terrible trouble. And why bring the stuff here?’ She cast an arm in the direction of the pile. ‘There’s hardly room here for us to live without you turning the place into another warehouse and cluttering it up even more.’
She stalked over to the pile to glare at it as if it had done her some gross injustice, her hands now fists, her arms akimbo ‘What on earth did you think you were going to do with it all? Honestly, Julia, you must be stark-staring potty!’
‘Thank you, Stephanie!’ Julia’s voice was tense with rage. ‘No one else but me lifted a finger to find us somewhere to live. And now that I have…’
‘Please, dears,’ came her mother’s tremulous voice. ‘Haven’t we been through enough trouble? Please, don’t start arguing, on top of everything else.’
‘Let’s see what the other rooms are like,’ suggested James in an effort to break up the tension.
‘I know what they’re like,’ Julia said almost childishly.
‘But we don’t. Two bedrooms, right?’
Julia pulled herself together with an effort. She nodded to the second door in the room. ‘That leads to the main bedroom.’
‘And where do I sleep?’ he asked flippantly.
Julia held her temper. ‘That third door in the kitchen takes you into the room you’ll be using.’
‘From the kitchen?’ he echoed, attempting a laugh. ‘Isn’t that a stupid place to have a door to a bedroom?’
‘Go and look!’ she snapped, in no mood for banter.
When he returned his humour had faded. ‘You mean I have to go through the kitchen to get to my room and to go to the bathroom?’
‘We don’t have a bathroom,’ she told him. ‘The toilet’s downstairs.’
‘Downstairs?’
‘It’s an outside toilet – in the yard.’
‘You mean we have to go down two flights of stairs,’ Stephanie broke in, ‘whenever we need to go in the night?’
‘What about the bathroom?’ young Virginia asked innocently.
‘There’s only that galvanized bath hanging on the wall in the kitchen,’ Julia supplied, trying to disguise her wretchedness.
‘You mean that’s what we have to take a bath in?’ Virginia cried. ‘We can’t! Everyone will see us!’
‘We’ll keep the doors shut or put up a curtain of some sort.’
‘But what if James opens his bedroom door? What if he peeps?’
‘James will not peep!’ cried her brother indignantly.
‘You could, by accident,’ Virginia shouted at him.
‘Why would I want to do something as daft as that?’ he shouted back.
‘Please,’ their mother bleated, ‘I can’t take any more argument. So many awful things have happened I can’t stand much more.’
Instantly the two girls hurried to comfort her, leaving James standing uncertainly, wondering what to do, while Julia fought to avoid being undermined by her mother’s unrelenting distress. She wanted to tell her that this was what they would have to endure from now on and that they must try to make the best of it; that it could have been worse; that at least it was a roof over their heads, but she held her tongue. No use making it any worse than it already was. She turned her thoughts instead to how they were going to survive.
They must start by thinking how they were going to keep themselves. There was rent to be paid, coal and food to be bought, money needed to keep them decently clothed and shod. James was going to have to find a job, Stephanie and Virginia too. It was going to be hard for people who had never had to work in their lives but they’d have to adapt or go under. What going under meant she dared not begin to imagine.
As for herself she knew exactly what she was going to do. She glanced towards the bolts of cloth she’d stacked as neatly as she could in one corner of the room. If she was successful at what she had in mind, they might not only survive, they could rise. She hadn’t loved her father, but one thing she did have in common with him was his business sense.
So long as she hadn’t inherited his weakness for gambling; his reckless quest to double his wealth that had led to his own and his family’s downfall. Even so, she reflected, all business was a gamble, so in a way it might be a good thing if she had inherited a little of that side of him. It remained to be seen. But as she stood looking around the pathetic room that was now their home, she vowed that this wouldn’t be the end. Rather, as her gaze moved again towards the small pile of fabrics that her sister had so scorned, she felt that it could be a beginning.
Seven
It was harder than they’d imagined trying to settle into this new life that had been thrust on them, even for Julia who was determined to make a go of it.
She missed her friends while at the same time telling herself they weren’t worth the missing. Despite what her mother had said, she’d risked writing to one or two about her changed circumstances in order to escape the deep embarrassment of telling them face to face.
Not one had replied. Those friends who had willingly come to console her on the death of her father had shied away from offering sympathetic support in her new plight, quite obviously fearing being asked for monetary help – something she would never have dreamed of doing.
Stephanie had had the same reaction from her own friends, leaving her taken aback and bitter. ‘I hate them,’ she had burst out to Julia. ‘If I never see any of them again it won’t upset me.’
But she was upset; they were both upset, but said nothing to their mother. There was too much else to worry about – not least their financial situation. What little money they had would soon be gone. They’d been here just under a week and already Julia found the money dwindling far more quickly than she had expected. There was food to buy and money to be set aside for next week’s rent and all the weeks after that. Then, a few minutes ago, Virginia had come out from the living room with a small bag of toffees, her cheek bulging as she chewed.
Julia had turned from the kitchen sink where she’d been washing up the few discoloured dinner plates that had come with the flat. ‘Virginia, where did you get those from?’
The girl looked as if she’d been accused of grand theft. ‘Mummy let me have a penny to get them.’
A penny! Twelve pennies made one shilling! What was her mother thinking of? They needed every last penny they possessed to five on. Julia could have wept at the feeling of degradation that swept over her. Counting pennies! Never in her life could she have imagined it would come to this.
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‘Mummy!’ she rounded on Victoria. ‘We can’t afford to go buying sweets. We have to be careful now.’
The uncomprehending look in her mother’s eyes as she stood helplessly with a tea towel in one hand and a plate in the other made it all too obvious to Julia that she had no real understanding of the plight they were in. Julia’s heart sank.
‘A child needs a few sweets,’ Victoria answered in a high, querulous voice. ‘She hasn’t had any for a whole week since we came to this awful place.’
‘That’s not the point!’ Julia was exasperated. ‘We don’t have that sort of money to waste any more.’ She addressed her mother with none of the filial respect that she would once have offered as a matter of course. She spoke now as if she were admonishing a thoughtless child. ‘Don’t you understand, Mummy? We need every penny we can find, just in order to live.’
‘But we have our jewellery, yours and mine and Stephanie’s,’ her mother protested, ‘though it grieves me to see it having to be sold, all my lovely jewellery. And it is valuable.’
Julia ignored her laments. ‘And how long will the money from that last?’ she demanded. ‘It’s not going to be easy to sell. I know how valuable it is, Mummy, but we’ll never get back what it is really worth. And when that’s gone, tell me, what do we rely on then?’
The confused expression on Victoria’s face brought her up sharply. The next moment she was holding her mother, words of contrition pouring from her.
‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted at you. I didn’t mean to hurt. But it’s all different now and we have to realize that. Someone has to think for us. James and Virginia are still too young. Stephanie is like you – she can’t get her mind round all that’s happened – and you’re still too full of grief and shock from losing Daddy to think about anything else.’
She leaned back to look into Victoria’s eyes while still holding her. ‘Who’s going to keep us together? It seems there is only me; and I have to make sure that what money we do have isn’t wasted on buying sweets and suchlike.’
Her mother had become unexpectedly reflective while Julia was speaking. Now she returned her daughter’s gaze. ‘All it might take is a pennyworth of sweets to help a child over this terrible sense of upheaval she has found herself thrown into,’ she replied in a quiet voice. ‘Don’t you think it worth that one small thing to help her over it, Julia?’
To that Julia had no answer except to realize that her mother in her quiet way was right. She felt suddenly subdued. Even so, they couldn’t continue in this way for long, lurching from one day to another with no notion of where they were going. A decision had to be made and she knew it would fall to her to make it. But to seem to be taking charge could cause more upsets and disruptions and even animosity than it was worth. Her head had begun to brim with ideas but she thought it might be best to let a few days elapse before putting them forward. And this time it was important not to allow emotions to get in the way; she must make it seem as if she was seeking advice from everyone rather than dictating to them.
* * *
‘Well, that wasn’t too bad a meal, was it?’ Julia said, trying to buck up everyone’s spirits as she and Virginia cleared away the empty dinner plates. Sausages, mashed potatoes and baked beans – something her mother would never have dreamed of having for dinner once upon a time; something she would have considered more suitable for Mrs Granby, Mary and the other servants.
‘It was so oily,’ she’d complained. ‘I’m sure it is going to disagree when I get to bed. I shall be up all night.’
‘Perhaps if you think of something else, Mummy,’ Julia suggested. ‘Perhaps clear the rest of the table, it might help you feel better.’
Instead her mother said, ‘I think I’ll go to bed and attempt to find some sleep while I’m able. It’s quite bad enough with the smell of cooking drifting into the living room from that kitchen. It’s enough to turn a body’s stomach before the meal’s ever eaten. It lingers even in the bedrooms. I never dreamed that cooking smells could linger so.’
There were many things Victoria had never dreamed of, Julia found herself thinking; cooking and washing up afterwards to name but two. Most likely it had never before occurred to her to imagine the work involved in preparing meals, and in washing and stacking away the dishes afterwards.
Even now her daughters did the cooking and housework, the washing, ironing and bed-making, with Julia doing the shopping. Eventually though Victoria was going to have to turn a hand and do something, if only to keep herself from fretting. So far all she’d done had been a little dusting and some ironing, which she soon said made her back ache; she pronounced herself too old for this sort of thing. Julia refused to accept this; she’d seen women around here far older than her mother on their hands and knees cleaning doorsteps!
The trouble was that so far housework had usually led to squabbles about who should do this and who should do that. James stayed quietly in his room while this was going on, apparently believing that, as the only male in the family, housework was not his responsibility. Young Virginia was willing enough to turn her hand to anything but Stephanie saw herself as being put upon and often failed to do her fair share of chores, leaving more for her sister to do. Virginia naturally resented this and quarrels would break out. To save their mother being harassed by it all, Julia frequently found herself doing most of the work while her sisters sat apart from each other, petulant and hostile.
The time had come for a family gathering. She had to make them all see that this was their life from now on and they must all pull their weight. What she had to say would stun them but first she must prepare her mother before springing this new shock on the family.
She found her opportunity a day or two later. ‘I know this has all been hard, Mummy,’ she said, ‘but it will get better, I promise.’
Her mother looked unconvinced. ‘I doubt I shall ever get used to this. I’m not as young as I once was and I feel so tired all the time.’
We’re all tired, Julia wanted to say, but held her tongue.
‘Nor do I think I can stand much more of this bickering,’ Victoria continued. ‘There was never a cross word in our old home. But here…’
This was Julia’s chance. ‘We need to have a family chat, all together.’
She saw her mother watching her hopefully. More and more, she realized, Victoria was looking to her for guidance, expecting her to take charge, trusting her to make all the right decisions. And if a decision turned out to be wrong, she would be the one to be instantly blamed; no one would stop to weigh against it all the good decisions she had made. The thought brought a brief feeling of resentment, causing her to say a little too decisively, ‘Tomorrow morning then.’
Tomorrow was Sunday; nine days since they’d left the comfort of their old home, hardly a fortnight since suffering the sudden loss of their father. What was she expecting of this family? How could she think they could knuckle down to this new, strange life after such a grievous shock?
‘Will you tell them then?’ her mother was saying, with such timidity that Julia felt for her.
As the remaining parent of this family Victoria should have been taking up the reins herself but was only too grateful to hand them over to one of her children. It wasn’t her fault; she couldn’t help being what she was.
‘Yes, I’ll tell them,’ Julia said gently and patted her mother’s arm in an effort to give solace.
* * *
‘This is silly!’ Stephanie glared at Julia across the table. ‘You can’t expect us to go looking for work. None of us has ever had to work.’
‘You will now,’ Julia said harshly.
‘What do you mean, I will now?’ Stephanie snapped back. ‘You mean I’m to turn into some menial? We once used to pay staff to do the sort of jobs you’re suggesting.’
‘Once, yes,’ Julia reminded, trying to keep her temper while her mother, James and Virginia looked on, all three seeing Stephanie as their spokeswoman. ‘We’ve no money now
for staff. We’re going to have to go out ourselves to earn money, all of us. And as none of us has any skills, yes, we will have to knuckle down as best we can and do menial jobs, as you call them. How else are we going to survive?’
‘You don’t mean Mother as well?’ Stephanie’s question was meant sarcastically, but their mother gasped.
‘Oh, darling, I couldn’t!’
‘Of course you couldn’t,’ Julia soothed, glaring at her insensitive sister. ‘I’m talking about the rest of us.’
‘Not Virginia, dear, she is just a child, hardly out of school.’ Her mother’s arm went about the girl’s shoulders in a gesture of protection. ‘In better times she would be going on to a college for young ladies, just as you and Stephanie did. It’s too bad! I never dreamed we would all come down to this.’
Julia held her ground ‘Lots of youngsters leave school at thirteen or fourteen to start work, Mummy. It won’t kill her. It might even do her good.’
‘That’s if any of us can find work,’ Stephanie put in sourly. ‘With unemployment growing again, how do you think we can find jobs with no idea what to do?’
‘We’ll have to keep looking until we find something,’ Julia said firmly. ‘We’ve got to bring in money somehow. What little we have in savings isn’t going to go far.’
‘I don’t want to have to go out and work,’ Virginia bleated. ‘I’ll be so frightened. I won’t know anyone and I’ve never been on my own.’
‘You’ll be with other people, maybe girls your own age. You were with other girls your own age at school.’
‘But that was school…’
‘And what about me?’ interrupted James angrily. ‘Dragged out of my private school, any chance of going on to university dashed, thrust out into the world unprepared and unqualified when I might have done well. I hope you don’t expect me to start wielding a pick and shovel.’