by Harloe Rae
But why the hell would I?
Everyone I cross paths with has only offers sneers.
Except her . . .
If no one else was around, I’d talk to Lennon. She can have all my words and focus. I’ll give her anything she asks for without a moment of hesitation.
She quickly peers over her shoulder and smiles at me again.
What does this mean? Does she like me? Or is she secretly mocking me like everyone else?
Not sure I could handle the latter.
I’m used to being alone and planned to continue this way until a certain girl plowed into my life. The moment Lennon strolled into homeroom and sat in front of me, the whirlwind in my mind settled and she was all I could see. I don’t understand my powerful reaction to her. Maybe I never will. What I do know is Lennon has given me a sliver of peace and reprieve from my shitty reality. Even if she doesn’t know it.
The dismissal bell rings and everyone begins shuffling out of the classroom. I stay in my seat, unable to comprehend the attention Lennon gave me. Even when she gets up and leaves, I’m paralyzed by the rare joy rushing through me. It evaporates without her presence and the familiar dread slams down on my shoulders. My stinging eyes clench shut as I count the hours until our next class together. Only two today—I can survive that long.
After scooping up my stuff, I begin the lengthy trek to next period. This damn school is so big they give us ten minutes of passing time but it’s still not enough. Luckily kids get out of my way, making room in the squished halls for me to pass. My long hair acts like an extra shield while I keep my gaze averted but their whispers hit my ears.
Hulk.
Weirdo.
Loser.
Stupid.
Crazy Eyes.
The last one has stuck through the years, but I don’t know why. Apparently, my idiotic peers have an issue with my blue stare never settling on anyone for long. I’ve been told the color is strange—very light blue blending into a darker edge—but the shade doesn’t seem odd to me.
Fuck them for judging me.
But I always get them back.
I gladly return the favor by hacking their social media accounts. It’s easy to make a mockery of them with a few clicks of the mouse. They screw with me and I fuck them back harder. All from the comfort of my own home. Everyone thinks I’m dumb but soon they’ll realize how wrong that assumption is.
I keep walking without another thought, ready to get away from all these bodies. I’m uneasy and restless as fuck but thankfully get separated from the masses when I head downstairs.
As I’m passing the cafeteria on the way to gym, I hear a faint cry coming from a darkened alcove on my left. My stride falters momentarily as I wonder what’s going on but it’d take a lot for me to get involved. I plan to keep going until her voice rings out.
“Please let me go. Please!” Lennon’s whimper echoes across the small space and slams into me. I easily recognize her delicate lilt and immediately cross the short distance separating us.
Jason Hicks, a well-known asshole around campus, has Lennon shoved up against a door in the shadowed corner. At first, it’s difficult to see what’s happening but as I approach it’s clear he’s lewdly thrusting his hips into her. Lennon keeps begging him to stop but he cuts her off with a snarl.
“Shut the fuck up and stop struggling. You’re a damn tease, Lennon. It’s time you pay up for tempting me and I expect you to meet me after school this time. Otherwise we’ll just ditch class together now. Your choice, babe.” His disgusting words ricochet around the secluded area.
I’m right behind them but only Lennon notices me. Her usually tan complexion is ghostly white as tears stream down her cheeks. Her blue eyes widen and plead with me to do something, anything, to stop him.
Any awkward discomfort disappears as anger seeps into my veins. My words rumble from deep in my chest, “Leave her alone.”
Jason’s head tilts to the side and he glances over his shoulder. He snorts loudly while glaring at me. “This doesn't involve you, Crazy Eyes. Get out of here and go back to being a silent weirdo, like you're good at.” His disgusting mouth twists into a sneer.
The familiar nickname grates on my already fraying control and my body trembles with the desire to wipe the arrogance off his face but I hesitate to use my strength against someone. I’m standing motionless, waiting for Jason to go away on his own, when Lennon breaks the silence.
“Please.” Her angelic gaze bores into me. “Help me.” Her tone is meek but to me it sounds like a scream. She needs me and I’d never deny her anything.
My hand automatically reaches out to grip Jason’s neck with bruising force, my fingers digging deep into his flesh. In the next breath I yank him back before shoving him to the side. He bounces off the wall before stumbling into the empty hall.
“I told you to leave her alone,” I growl at him.
Jason’s jaw grinds as his stare ricochets between Lennon and me. “Fuck off, Ryker. She’s my girl and none of your business.”
“I want nothing to do with you. I’m not your anything,” she quietly mutters behind me.
“You’re going to get it, Lennon. Just wait.” Jason barks but his lips clamp shut when I take a few steps toward him.
My chest tightens as I imagine what his threats could mean. Flames lap at my skin as I allow the fury to take over. “If you ever bother her again, you’ll be dealing with me. Got it?” My throat burns as I force the words out.
The untamed anger must show on my face because he doesn't respond again. With a final scowl at me, Jason trudges away and out of sight. I’ve never unleashed the aggression that's constantly festering within me on someone else but he’d fucking deserve a real beating. I attempt to cage the roiling hate bunching in my muscles with a few deep breaths. I’ll have to push myself even harder at the gym tonight but it’s worth it. Anything involving her is.
As the red hue fades from my vision, tingling awareness settles in and the telltale nerves start flooding my system. We’re all alone. Lennon is behind me and I’m just standing here.
I slowly turn around and find her cowering in the corner, her guarded gaze searing my soul. Her shoulders shake as she sniffles and horrible possibility strikes me.
Fuck, did I scare her?
That’s the last thing I want so my feet shuffle back to put some space between us. The horrible taunts begin echoing in my mind, even though it’s completely silent around us.
Idiot.
Creep.
Loser.
Monster.
Freak.
Crazy Eyes.
Crazy. Crazy. Crazy.
My head twitches as I lower my stare away from her frightened features. “I’m sorry, Lennon. I didn’t mean to upset you. He made me really mad though.” A heavy sigh shudders from my chest. “I don’t usually act like that.” My voice is gruff from disuse but I get the point across.
I take another step back but her words halt my progress.
“Please, don’t leave. You’re not the one who scared me. You saved me, Ryker.”
My eyes lift to her as I ask, “You know my name?” My heart starts pounding and I’m sure she can hear the rapid beat.
Lennon nods and smiles slightly. “Of course. I sit in front of you in three classes. Plus, you’re pretty hard to miss.”
Shame heats my cheeks as her words sink in. She’s making fun of me, just like everyone else. I was stupid to believe she could see me differently, no matter how much I wish she would. Lennon is perfection and I’m a bumbling ogre so it shouldn’t surprise me. The hurt splashes me like acid and my entire body burns as I move further away.
“Where are you going?” She suddenly blurts while stepping toward me.
I shrug and glance at her, drawn to her. I can’t find the words to explain my feelings though.
She inches closer. “Did I say something to upset you?” Her hand reaches for me and I flinch, afraid of what her touch will do to me.
“
I’m used to it. Everyone calls me names.” I manage to choke out, even though my mouth is desert-dry.
Lennon’s face scrunches up in an adorable way as she asks, “What? I don’t get it.”
“You said I’m hard to miss, as in my size. I get it. Very funny.” Embarrassment slithers up my neck and causes me to turn away further. “I’ll see you around, Lennon.” My tone is flat and lifeless.
My plan to escape disappears when her palm settles on my back and everything inside of me freezes.
“Will you wait a second?” Her whisper reaches deep into my chest and squeezes. “I didn’t mean it like that, Ryker. Really. You’re hard to miss because, umm, well . . . I think you’re cute.” She giggles and my knees almost buckle. That tinkling laugh mixed with her touch turn me into a sloppy puddle of mush. It’s like my brain is short-circuiting and all functioning is jammed so I remain completely still.
When I don’t respond, Lennon takes her hand away and the loss cramps my stomach. I’m floundering, unsure of what the hell to do now. My anxiety threatens to consume me the longer we’re silent and I’d rather not have a panic attack in front of her. Thankfully she saves me from deciding.
“Can you turn around? Just for a minute?” I do as she asks, as though I’m locked under her spell.
Lennon stares at me with a look I can’t quite comprehend. A dimple dents her cheek as she grins at me. “I really appreciate you helping me with Jason. He’s such a jerk and has been harassing me since my first day. Maybe he’ll leave me alone now.” She exhales loudly and bites her bottom lip. “What can I ever do to repay you? I seriously owe you one.”
My mind scrambles for something to say but I’m horribly distracted by her aqua eyes focused on me. I clear my throat before muttering, “You've given me plenty already.”
Lennon’s eyebrows bunch in confusion as her head tilts slightly. “Huh? Why do you say that? I haven’t done anything. You’re the savior around here.” She chuckles lightly while fidgeting with her shirt sleeve.
Okay . . . Shit.
I shouldn’t have said that. My brain swirls with explanations to smooth this over so she doesn't think I'm a freak. I decide to be honest. “Your smile is all I need.”
That’s exactly what she gives me before dipping her chin. “Wow. That’s really sweet.” She gazes up at me from under her long lashes and the impact is detrimental to my pulse. Having Lennon’s completely undivided attention on me is similar to being electrocuted. The high voltage seems to zap through me, stealing any coherent response, so I continue gawking slack-jaw like a creep.
Lennon sighs while her eyes scan my face and I wonder what she sees. She shrugs before saying, “I’m going to the office and telling the principal what happened. Do you wanna come with or go to class?”
I don’t like either of those options but my regular schedule appeals to me far more than being questioned by the principal. Leaving Lennon stabs at my chest but the thought of sitting in the office makes my skin crawl.
“Will you be all right alone? I should probably get to class but if you want me to come with, I can.” I’d go with her no matter what, even if my heart seized with panic, but she’s already shaking her head.
“This isn’t my first rodeo so don’t worry.” She starts edging around me so I step out into the hallway. “So, I’ll see you around?” She asks while backing away.
I nod while tracking her retreating form, regretting the safer choice of going to class and separating from her. I’ll be seeing her very soon though.
Lennon waves before blessing me with another smile, which is exactly what I need to calm the worry slithering through my veins. She turns and walks toward the stairs while my mind conjures up imagines of her being attacked again. Next time could be worse and I can’t allow any danger to reach her. I wait a few beats before following, the need to ensure she’s safe settling deep within me.
No matter where she goes, I’ll always follow.