“I love you, but you destroyed everything we had. I mean, how many times have you done this to me? Have you been cheating on me the whole time, or just this tour?” I’m getting louder with every question.
Brett leans forward and places his arms on the table. “No. I’ve never cheated on you before, or on any of our tours. It was just a one-time thing—”
I cut him off. “How the hell do you know if it’s the only time? You don’t even remember that time, you say, but I sure as fuck do. I see it every time I close my eyes. I see that girl sucking your dick. I hear you telling the other one to strip. And I most definitely remember you calling me a nobody.” I scoot out of the booth and stand up. I can’t do this. I’ll never be able to trust him again. I never want to go through this again. “I’m sorry, but we’re through. Have a good life." I turn around and practically run to the door. I hear him call my name, but I can’t look back. If I look back, I’ll lose it, and I’m done with losing it.
Chapter 12
Brett
It’s been two months since Kristen walked out on me at the bar. I can still see the expression on her face as she yelled at me, the devastation that I caused her. Jesus Christ, how the hell could I have done this to her?
I reach over on the table to grab the bottle of Jack Daniels sitting there and glance at the clock on the table. It’s a little after seven. With the sun shining through the window, I shade my eyes with my hand and take a drink. Shit. My head is pounding and my mouth feels like cotton. Something brushes against my leg, and I look over to find a brunette starting to stir. It takes me a minute to realize it’s Tammy, the waitress from the bar. I vaguely remember bringing her home last night.
I always use the guest room when I bring a girl home, but for some reason, I slept with her in my bed last night—Kristen’s bed. Tammy blinks her eyes at me and smiles, but I don’t smile back.
“It’s time for you to go. Did you follow me home last night?” She has a little frown on her face, but nods her head. I move to get out of the bed. “Be gone by the time I get out.”
I head toward the bathroom and shut the door, Jack still in my hand. I place it on the counter, take a piss, then pick the bottle back up for another swig. I turn on the shower and step into the freezing water to help wake me up and wash the skank off.
Once I finally feel awake enough and get out, I grab a towel and move to the counter. Placing my hands on the cold surface, I take a good look at myself in the mirror. There are dark circles under my eyes, and my cheeks look sunken in. My chest isn’t as defined as it usually is, and my ribs are noticeable. I guess that’s what I get for living on a liquid diet. I grab the bottle and take another drink.
I finally make my way downstairs and find that Tammy has made herself scarce. Just as I clear the landing, there’s a knock at the door.
“Brett! You up? Open up, man!” Derek yells through the door. He pounds again. I slowly walk over to the door and open it.
“For the love of Christ, please, stop knocking. I have a headache.”
He pushes open the door and I move out of the way to let him in. As I try to shut the door, something hits it and pushes it back open. Jason walks through, with Isaac following close behind him. I follow them into the kitchen and sit down at the island. Derek gets a glass out of the cabinet and fills it with water, then reaches in through another door and grabs a bottle. Putting the glass in front of me, he shakes out four ibuprofens. As I swallow them down, I see Jason grabbing stuff from the fridge, then moves to the stove and grabs a skillet.
“Make yourself at home,” I mutter. Derek glares at me. “What the fuck, Brett? Are you trying to kill yourself? Have you taken a look in the mirror lately?”
I shrug my shoulders. No, I’m not trying to kill myself, but I’m not living either. I continue to sip on the water and a glass of orange juice is placed on the counter.
“Drink that too,” Isaac says over my shoulder. “You need the vitamins.” I pick up the juice and take a sip.
“What are you guys doing here?” I yawn and reach down and scratch my balls through my shorts. “Not that I mind y’all dropping in at the ass crack of dawn, of course.” Jason sets a plate of scrambled eggs down in front of me, and my stomach rolls a little.
“Eat it,” Jason says gruffly. I grab the fork and take a small bite.
“We’re here because we’re supposed to be in the studio at eight this morning. We decided to ride together, remember?” It does sound vaguely familiar. “I figured we’d have to drag your ass out of bed this morning. I was surprised you were already up and moving around.”
“Yeah, I had to get rid of my company from last night,” I mumble, and Derek stiffens beside me. I think he’s taken mine and Kristen’s breakup almost as hard as me.
“You’re unbelievable.” He turns around and walks out toward the living room as I dig into the eggs.
As soon as I scrape the plate, Jason takes it away. “Get dressed. We need to leave.”
I head upstairs and throw on some clothes. Luckily, Nelda still comes once a week so I have some clean clothes. I grab some briefs, socks, jeans, and a T-shirt. I pull them on and realize that my jeans nearly fall off my waist. I search for a belt and put it on. Once I’m dressed, I grab my wallet off the dresser and make my way down the stairs.
We load up into Derek’s truck and head down to the studio. Brian had one built beside his house, which made it convenient since he only lived about five minutes from my house. We really needed to work on some material for our new album. Derek has written a few new songs and I can’t wait to get them recorded. I have a few song ideas in my head that I need to flesh out too.
We walk into the lounge area and Brian is there, standing with his arms across his chest. He hates it when we’re late. “’Bout damn time y’all showed up! We got work to do. We only have a couple more months until the next tour starts, and I would like to get a few songs for the new album completed before we leave. Derek, we’ll work on your stuff first.” We start to move toward the back rooms. “Brett, hold up.” I stop and let the others move on ahead.
I turn to look at Brian. “Yeah, man, what’s up?”
“Take a seat, you look like shit. I’m not going to lie to you. I’m worried about you. You haven’t been yourself lately. I know you’ve been struggling with the whole Kristen thing, but you have got to straighten up. This band needs you, and I need you to be at your best. I’ve heard how you’ve been drinking to excess every night. You’ve gotten as bad with the women as Isaac. Get it together, man.” He pats me on the back and moves toward the control room.
I can hear the guys warming up. Time to step up and be the leader of the Silver Tongued Devils.
We work a few hours before we decide to take a break. Brian orders us Italian for lunch, which is one of my faves. As we all dig in, I realize what I’ve been missing. Between eating solid food and shooting the shit with the guys, I feel good. I’ve missed this. I see Derek glance at his phone, then sneak a quick look at me. He excuses himself and answers the phone as he heads out the door. With that look, I know he’s talking to Kristen. And just like that, I feel like shit again. He comes back in and grabs his keys.
“I’ll be back in a few. Isaac, why don’t you work on that one rift, and we’ll finish it up when I get back.” He heads out the door and I follow.
“What’s up, Derek? What’s wrong?” He stops in his tracks when he hears my voice. I can see his shoulders move with a deep breath before he turns around and faces me. “Kris’s car broke down, and she needs a ride to class.” He turns back around and heads to his truck.
“Why the hell is she calling you?” I yell at his back.
He stops again and turns around. “She’s still my friend, just like you are. I’m not gonna turn my back on her. I try to keep y’all in separate parts of my life so y’all don’t have to see each other. I’m not willing to give either one of you up, and I still spend time with her. More than you know, since you’re usually drunk and with some rando
m chick. I don’t like watching you spiral. I keep hoping you’ll get over this funk. I know it’s gonna take time, but I’ll always be here for you.” With that, he climbs in the truck, starts it up and pulls out.
Chapter 13
Kristen
It’s now been six months since I’ve seen or spoken to Brett. The first two months were hard because he was home, living in the house we shared. How I managed to pass my classes, I still don’t know. Thank God for Camryn, who kept me on track. I found that if I worked all the hours I could when I wasn’t in class, I could forget about Brett—for a little while, at least.
I even decided that it might be time to move on, go on a date. I finally took Josh up on his repeated attempts to ask me out.
Camryn’s favorite saying is ‘The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.’ I don’t know if I’m quite ready to go that far, but I’m going out tomorrow night with Josh.
The guys are due back from touring the West Coast on Saturday. I miss them. It’s like another hole in my heart when they’re on tour. The things I’ve seen and read scare me a little. Apparently, after I walked out on him at the bar, Brett decided to become a manwhore. Pictures are floating around the internet of him making out with a different chick every night. In most of the pictures, he looks drunk or stoned. I hope he’s not using. He’s so much better than that.
Even though I struggled through the last semester of school, I passed with a 3.7 GPA. Then I passed my boards, thank God, and got a job at a pediatrician’s office. I had met Dr. Daniels at the hospital And I started working at her office a couple weeks ago, and it’s been a whirlwind of activity, to say the least. Well kids, sick kids, paranoid parents—I’ve seen them all, and many of them. It’s go-go-go from the time we open until we close, but I love it. I enjoy not working twelve hour shifts and having the weekends off. I finally saved up enough money to get a new car after mine had broken down for the sixth time. I know Camryn was getting tired of carting my ass around, so I ended up buying a Hyundai Tucson. It’s a granite color with black rims and dark tint. I feel like such a badass as I zip through traffic, jamming out to Adelitas Way. It’s been a rough day and I’m ready to get home to get into some comfy clothes and chill.
As soon as I pull into the parking lot, the guys’ song comes on, and I realize the ache in my chest is barely even there anymore. I turn off the ignition and head into my apartment, change clothes, and put on a movie. Ghostbusters, my fave.
It takes me back to the night that Derek and I spent watching it, after he found out Stephanie was cheating on him. That still gets me riled up. I just don’t understand how you can care about someone and do that to them. The thought of her hurting him still ticks me off. Derek’s a great guy, and she couldn’t have done any better. He’s sweet, funny, and a great listener. Not to mention, that hot ass body. Or that dark hair that’s soft to the touch. His dreamy blue eyes. That beautiful beard. The industrial in his ear and the barbells in his nipples. I can picture him in my head from watching him when we would work out together. The sweat dripping down his back as he lifted those heavy weights. Muscles bulging, making the tattoos on his arms shift. Him catching me looking and giving me that sexy as hell wink. I shake myself out of my thoughts and realize I’m practically panting. My hand is down the front of my panties and I’m wet as hell. I snatch my hand out and sit up on the couch. Maybe I do need to get laid.
I get up and make a sandwich, then sit back on the couch and finish the movie. By the time it’s over, it’s late, so I head to bed.
Crawling under the covers, I hear the air conditioner kick on and smile. It feels so good to sleep with it cold. I just wish I had someone to cuddle with. But, instead of Brett’s face, I picture Derek’s. I’m still horny as hell. I reach in my bedside drawer and pull out my rabbit. Placing my hands under the covers, I pull off my panties and turn on the rabbit. Hearing the soft hum of my little friend, I place it near my pussy and slowly move it around the top of my mound. Rough hands moving on the inside of my thighs, moving closer and closer to my core. One of the hands moves up my stomach to my breast, gently cupping the entire thing and the thumb rubs across my nipple, while the other hand goes to my pussy. One finger dips into my heat, as if to test how wet I am. I feel one finger enter me with a gentle thrust. It retreats, then I’m filled up again with two fingers. I lift my hips up to allow them to go deeper. The hand on my breast pinches my nipple.
“Please,” I whisper.
The fingers thrust harder, and I hear myself whimper. I’m so close. Suddenly, the hands stop and flip me over onto my stomach. Gripping my hips tightly, they raise me to my knees. I feel him move between my legs and the head of his dick rubs small circles through my wetness, then he thrusts, hard. He begins to pound in and out as I grab the sheet in both hands and cry out. Reaching up, he wraps a hand in my hair and pulls my head back. The pain feels delicious.
“Give it to me,” he orders.
With one hard thrust, I feel myself explode. He wraps his arm around my chest and continues to ride me until he stiffens against my back. With a gentle kiss on my shoulder, he moves his hand to my jaw and turns my face to look at him. All I see are blue eyes until I slowly come back to myself and turn the rabbit off. Damn, that felt good. I’ve never come so hard by myself. I don’t know if I’ve ever come that hard at all.
I’m suddenly exhausted. I place the rabbit back in the drawer and the last thing I think of before I drift off is that I’ll wash it in the morning.
I wake up the next morning with Derek on my mind. Damn, I should quit thinking about him that way. We’re just friends, and it’s wrong. We don’t feel that way about each other. I need to focus on Josh, but every time I do, he morphs back into Derek. I head to the shower to get ready for work. Half an hour later, I’m headed out the door. Maybe a busy day at work will help me forget about the way I was thinking about Derek.
We closed early, as Dr. Daniels was heading out of town, so I got off at three instead of five. Today was pretty relaxed compared to the rest of the week.
I’m heading home when my phone rings. I glance at the screen and see that it’s Derek. Heat flames across my face. I hit the ignore button and keep my focus on the road because these people are crazy! I pull up to my apartment complex and head to the door. I haven’t even thought about what I’ll wear tonight. I change out of my scrubs and pull on a tank top and a pair of yoga pants. Heading into the closet, I select a few outfits and lay them on the bed.
An hour later, I’m still trying to decide on what I’m going to wear. I pick up the phone to call Camryn and ask her advice when I hear a knock at the door. I glance at the clock and see it’s still too early for Josh to be here. Walking to the door, I check the peep hole and gasp. I throw open the locks on the door and pull it open.
He smiles at me. “Derek!”
Chapter 14
Derek
I got home a day earlier than expected. I am so ready to be home for a few weeks. We have a two-week break before we have to head back out on the road. I hope after this last leg, Brian lets us have some time off; I’m getting burned out. So, instead of riding in the bus home, I hopped on a flight. The rest of the guys were still laid up in the bus when I headed to the airport this morning. During the flight, all I could think about was seeing Kris.
I pull out my cell and scroll through my pictures until I find one of her. It’s one I took when she wasn’t looking so I could make it her contact pic on my phone. She’s sitting on a chair, outside, looking off in the distance. The sun is hitting her hair just right, making the long blonde waves glow, and she has a small smile on her face. She was watching some squirrels chase each other around the tree, and I remember thinking she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I hear the captain tell us that we’re about to land, so I put my phone away.
I disembark and head out of the terminal, making it outside just as my mom jerks the car to a stop. I can even hear her slam the car into park before she hauls a
ss out of the driver’s seat. She runs over, throws her arms around me and buries her face a little north of my belly button. I seem to forget just how tiny she is.
I hug her back. “Missed you, Momma.”
She pulls away from me and gives me a big smile. “Missed you too, sweetie. Come on. Let’s head to the house. I’ll fix you some lunch.”
“Fried chicken and mashed potatoes?” I ask with hope in my voice.
“What else?” She chuckles. We load up in the car and head home.
It’s nice to be back in a place with peace and quiet. My dad and I remodeled the pool house behind their house, and that’s where I live. It has an open kitchen, living room, bedroom, and a bathroom. What more could a bachelor ask for? I didn’t see the point in buying a house or renting an apartment with us on tour most of the year, but I didn’t want to be living with my parents either, so this was a nice compromise. I’m far enough away from the house so my momma can’t spy too much, but still close enough that I can walk over for dinner.
I lay back and revel in the feel of my bed, stuffed full of Momma’s fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans and rolls. I feel like I have a food baby. I glance at the bedside table and check the time. It’s a little after three, so I decide to call Kris. I grab my phone and scroll through my contacts to her number. It starts to ring, but goes to her voicemail. I call the clinic where she works now and find out they’ve closed early for the day. Huh. Maybe I’ll have to take a little drive.
I pull up to her apartment complex about an hour later. Seeing her new car sitting in her spot, I park and head to her door and knock. Maybe I should have tried to call again before I came over, but it’s too late now. I hear movement on the other side of the door, then the locks disengage and the door flies open. Holy shit! I think she’s gotten prettier since the last time I saw her. Her hair is up in a messy bun. She’s wearing a tight blue tank top with no bra, and gray pants that fit her like a dream. I smile at her.
Down in Flames (Silver Tongued Devils Series Book 1) Page 6