It wasn’t until his hand slid around to cup her breast that she released a small gasp and jumped back from him. Her breasts rose and fell with rapid breaths and her eyes were dark and turbulent.
“Is this why you came here tonight? You’ve gone through all the other women in town and have now decided to start all over again?”
Any desire that Caleb felt was doused by the surge of old resentment that sprang alive inside him. He stepped back from her and shoved his hands in his pockets. “You never did understand the kind of man I was…I am.”
“I’m sorry, Caleb. That was uncalled for,” she said, obviously contrite. “I’m tired and it’s late. Maybe it would be best if we just called it a night.”
“You go to bed. I’ll just bunk on the sofa for the rest of the night,” he said.
She nodded and without another word she left the kitchen. Caleb watched her go, his emotions a curious battle between anger and want.
Had he come here tonight following a need to protect her, or a need for something else altogether? Curiosity, that’s all it had been, he told himself as he left the kitchen. He’d just wondered if that crazy, hot magic they’d once shared would be there again with her.
And it had…for just a moment as he’d held her in his arms, tasted the sweet fire in her kiss, he’d felt that same yearning to be her everything, to be the one.
Her words to him had been an unwelcome dose of reality and reminded him that what they’d once shared had been broken ultimately by her inability to trust him, her inability to believe in him.
Apparently nothing had changed and he’d be a fool to attempt any kind of a relationship with her. He’d keep her safe. He’d do his duty as the deputy assigned to her case, but there was no way in hell he intended to let Portia or any other woman into his heart.
Chapter 6
Despite the lateness of the night before, Portia awoke at dawn with the taste of regret lingering in her mouth. Shame washed over her as she thought about what she’d said to Caleb.
Her words had been hateful and had nothing to do with the truth. Caleb wasn’t a womanizer. Sure, he dated a lot, but why wouldn’t he? He was handsome and single and, besides, he probably didn’t date any more than she did.
She’d been wrong to say what she had, but she’d been desperate to create a chasm between them, had needed a defense against the incredible want that had built up inside her with his touch.
As he’d kissed her, as he’d held her so tight against the lean heat of his body, all she’d wanted to do was take him into her bedroom and make love. The desire had been so intense it had frightened her and she’d had to do something to douse the fire.
She sighed and rolled over on her side to look out the window where the light of morning was just beginning to creep across the sky.
It was too early to get out of bed and so she remained beneath the fresh-scented sheet with only her thoughts as company. Maybe Caleb was right, maybe she’d never really understood what kind of man he was—what kind of man he’d become.
What if he’d always been telling the truth? What if he hadn’t cheated on her with Jayme Cordell? She couldn’t even remember now who had told her about Caleb’s betrayal. She sighed once again. What difference did it all make now?
It had been ten years ago. There was no going back in time to change things. She’d once believed that Caleb was the one, but now she sensed a simmering anger in him that occasionally flashed in his eyes, that hardened the line of his jaw.
Maybe it was because his sister was missing, or perhaps it was some damage that Laura had left behind when she’d moved from town. Surely he couldn’t have any residual resentment toward Portia for something that had happened years ago when they had both been kids.
Portia only knew that as much as she wanted Caleb and he might want her, she didn’t believe he was the one, didn’t believe he wanted to be the one.
She frowned irritably. What was she thinking? She didn’t want another chance with Caleb. She just wanted him to find out who was after her and to get her life back to normal.
She needed her kids back in the day care. She missed their happy faces, their smacking kisses and their hugs. They had been the most important people in her life and without them there was a huge hole in her heart.
She desperately wanted a child of her own, but for now she had to be content with her children on loan, and at the moment she didn’t even have them. Caleb had been right, until they knew exactly what was happening it was best that she stay away from the children she loved.
Sick of her own thoughts, she got out of bed and headed for the adjoining bathroom, hoping a hot shower would banish all thoughts of Caleb and how close she’d come to making love to him the night before.
But as she stood beneath the hot spray of water all she could think about was how Caleb’s kisses had thrilled her, how his touch had torched through her with a desire she hadn’t felt for any other man.
She certainly hadn’t remained celibate during the last ten years. There had been two men she’d dated with whom she’d been intimate, one who had eventually moved out of town for his business, the other eventually moving on with her blessing.
But neither of those men had affected her like Caleb did. He made her feel as if her skin was on fire and he was the only one who could put the flames out. She had to admit to herself that there was something strong between them, at least on a physical level.
By the time she was out of the shower and dressed she smelled the scent of coffee and knew Caleb was also up and about.
She owed him an apology and it was on the tip of her tongue as she found him in the kitchen standing before her window with a cup of coffee in hand.
He turned as he heard her, his expression guarded and distant. “Good morning.”
“Good morning,” she replied. “Caleb, I’m sorry about what I said last night, about you starting all over with the women in town.”
A smile curved his lips but didn’t reach the darkness of his eyes. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve already forgotten it.”
“It wasn’t a nice thing to say and in any case that’s not what I believe about you.”
He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Have you talked to Wally about your car?”
“Yesterday. He told me he hopes to have it back to me by the first of next week.” She walked over to the coffeemaker and poured herself a cup of the fresh brew and then turned to face Caleb once again.
The deep frown that cut across his forehead did nothing to alleviate his attractiveness. His hair was mussed, that charming, errant lock falling down precariously close to his left eyebrow. She fought the desire to step forward and push it back into place.
“I don’t like the idea of you being here all alone without a car. Maybe it would be best if I stay here on your sofa at night until we figure out what’s going on,” he said.
The idea of having him here with her at night both exhilarated and terrified her. There was no question that there was still an overwhelming passion between them and she feared allowing that passion to boil over. And she knew instinctively that if he stayed here at night, eventually it would explode.
“Actually, I was going to invite Layla to spend a couple of days here with me,” she replied, although it hadn’t been a thought in her head until that moment. “I’m hoping to get in a little girl time with her and convince her that it would be good for her soul to help me paint the interior of the day care.”
“Why don’t you go to her place and spend a couple of days there,” he suggested.
“Can’t. Mr. Whiskers and I don’t get along.”
Caleb raised a dark brow wryly. “I hope that’s a cat and not the newest man in Layla’s life.”
She smiled. “A big, long-haired cat who for some ungodly reason loves me. Unfortunately it only takes about ten minutes in her house for me to suffer a major allergy attack.”
His features gave away nothing of his thoughts. “Wh
atever, I just don’t feel right with you being here alone until we figure things out. Call and let me know if Layla can’t come over.”
“I will,” she said. “You want breakfast?”
“No, I need to get out of here and head back to my place to shower and change for work.” He drained his coffee cup and carried it to the sink.
It was early enough that he could have stayed for breakfast and still had plenty of time to go back to his place and get ready for the day. It was obvious he was eager to leave and she wondered if he hadn’t really accepted her apology. Or maybe he was regretting his own lapse in judgment in the heated embrace and kisses they’d shared the night before.
He didn’t say another word as she walked with him to the front door. When they reached the door he turned to face her. “I’m not going to lie to you, Portia. I want you.” His eyes smoked with a hint of a flame. “Since the moment you came into the sheriff’s office about those flyers, I’ve been thinking about making love to you again, dreaming about it when I go to sleep.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, as if afraid of what they might do if not contained. “But make no mistakes, I’m not in the market for a meaningful relationship or any kind of relationship at all. Still, if you’re interested in indulging in a little strictly physical pleasure, keep me in mind.”
With that he turned and walked out of her house. She watched him go, her mouth slightly agape in shock at his words and the realization that beneath the shock was a renewed burn of want for him.
Caleb was in a foul mood and didn’t know if it was because he couldn’t figure out who had it in for Portia or because she’d gotten to him the night before, her sexy curves melting against him and her mouth hot and sweet beneath his.
And then there had been her cutting comment that she’d apologized for, but was an indication that she still had trust issues where men were concerned.
Portia called just after ten to let him know that Layla had agreed to stay with her for the next couple of days. His irritation rose higher as he realized he was slightly disappointed that her friend had stepped in to help.
Despite everything there was a part of him that wanted to be her hero, a part that wanted to guard her through the long, dark nights.
At noon he left the office and walked down to the café to grab lunch. The officials in Oklahoma City had called that morning to let him know that Joe Castle’s black truck had no damage on it. Everywhere he turned was a dead end.
He and his brothers Tom and Benjamin felt the same way about Brittany. No clues, no direction to look, and with each passing day a sinking feeling that they’d never know what happened to their sister.
At noon most of the tables and booths in the café were filled with people. Caleb took a stool at the counter and forced a smile as Linda Wyatt, one of the waitresses, came over to take his order.
“Tough day?” Linda asked.
“Does it show?”
She smiled. “You look tired, Caleb.” She pulled her order form from her apron pocket. “Working too hard?”
“Maybe thinking too much,” he replied. “Just give me a burger with extra pickles, fries and a glass of iced tea.”
“No news on your sister?” she asked and then blew upward to move a wisp of gray hair that clung to her forehead.
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
She gave him a look of sympathy and then left to place his order. A wave of depression swept over him. His sister was missing and things didn’t look good. He couldn’t even figure out who had nearly killed Portia in a car accident.
“Hey, Caleb.” The deep voice pulled him from his thoughts as he nodded to Larry Norwood. Larry and his family had moved to Black Rock two months before and he was quickly gaining a good reputation as the town’s vet.
“Larry. How’s it going?”
Larry sat on the stool next to Caleb and offered him a friendly smile. “Good. Every day that passes, Black Rock feels more and more like home.”
“It’s a good place to live with good people,” Caleb replied, a sense of pride for his hometown filling his chest.
As the two men ate their lunches they talked about the town, their work and the relentless heat that was forecast for the next several days.
It was a respite for Caleb to talk about ordinary, mundane things for a while, with the conflicted emotions that filled him when he thought about Portia and the fear that thoughts of Brittany always brought shoved to the back of his mind.
When he left the café, instead of heading back to the office he got into his car and pointed the nose toward the Grayson homestead on the edge of town.
It had been a couple of days since he’d checked in with his brother Jacob and he decided to take a few minutes and stop by the cabin where Jacob was staying.
Benjamin lived in the large house where they’d grown up and he made sure their brother had the supplies he needed. As Caleb drove through the entrance onto the Grayson property, signs of a working ranch were everywhere. Cattle roamed the pasture on the left and on the right a field of cornstalks waved in the hot breeze.
Benjamin enjoyed being a deputy, but his heart was in ranching. Caleb wouldn’t be surprised if eventually his brother quit his law enforcement work to become a full-time rancher.
He drove by the house and onto a gravel road that led to a wooded area some distance away. As he entered the woods the cabin came into view when he was almost on top of it. He parked and got out, wondering for the hundredth time what had happened to Jacob that had him hiding out in a cabin cut off from the rest of the world.
He knocked twice and heard Jacob’s deep voice tell him to come in. Jacob sat in a chair with a lamp on the end table turned on. Sunshine couldn’t pierce through the thick canopy of trees that sheltered the cabin.
“Little brother,” Jacob said and smiled, although the gesture didn’t reach the darkness of his eyes. “What’s going on?”
“Not much. I’m feeling frustrated and decided to take a few minutes and come out here to see you. How are you doing?” Caleb sat in the chair across from his brother. He knew better than to ask what was going on in Jacob’s world, in his head, because he’d already asked a million times and Jacob refused to share anything with anyone.
Jacob raked a hand across his whiskered jaw and leaned back in the chair. “I’m fine. Tom stopped by last night and told me there’s nothing new on Brittany’s disappearance.”
“I’m trying to stay optimistic, but it’s getting harder and harder with each day that passes,” Caleb replied.
“So, tell me what else is going on in town.”
For the next few minutes Caleb told his brother about the mayor’s plans for a fall festival, Walt Tolliver’s latest supposed encounter with aliens and Portia’s problems.
“You two had quite a thing when you were younger,” Jacob said. “I remember Mom and Dad worrying that the two of you would run off and get married before either of you had a chance to experience life.”
Caleb emitted a dry laugh. “They worried for nothing.”
“Portia hasn’t married, has she?”
“No, she’s still single.”
Jacob gazed at Caleb with a directness Caleb had found daunting since he had been a small child. Jacob was the older brother who had always been able to get Caleb to confess to whatever mischief he’d made. One look from Jacob’s dark gray eyes and Caleb had always crumbled like a cookie.
“So are there any sparks between the two of you?” he asked.
Caleb felt the scowl creep over his features. “Of course not,” he exclaimed. One of Jacob’s dark brows rose and he smiled. “Okay, maybe a few,” Caleb added. “But it’s just a physical thing. Nothing is going to come of it. We got it wrong before and there’s no reason to think that we’d get it right this time.”
“You were nothing but a couple of kids before. Both of you have some years of experience and wisdom under your belts now.” Jacob reached over and picked up the bottle of beer that had been sitting on the tab
le next to him. “Want a beer?”
“No, thanks. I’m still on duty. In fact, I need to get out of here.” Caleb stood.
“Let me know how those sparks work out,” Jacob said with a wry grin.
Caleb walked to the door and then turned to face his brother. “Trust me, they won’t work out. I’m a man meant to live alone.”
A burst of laughter left Jacob, the sound rusty as if from lack of use. Caleb hadn’t heard his brother laugh since he’d returned to Black Rock and for a moment he savored the sound. Then he straightened his shoulders and glared at his brother. “What’s so damned funny?”
“The idea of you being alone the rest of your life. I’ve never known any man less inclined to choosing to be alone than you.” Jacob’s eyes darkened. “And trust me, I know all about being alone.” Jacob raised the bottle of beer toward his lips. “Go on, get out of here. I’ll talk to you later.”
As Caleb opened the door Jacob took a deep drink of the beer and raised a hand in goodbye. Caleb frowned as he got back into his car.
Jacob had become another concern on his radar. He was drinking too much, spending far too much time alone, and it was rare that Caleb saw glimpses of the man he had been before whatever events had brought him back home.
Tom and Benjamin had jokingly mentioned that they needed to have an intervention for Jacob, force him out of the cabin and back into the world with love and concern. But Caleb knew that wasn’t going to happen. All of them respected Jacob’s need at the moment to stay reclusive. It was obvious he was working something out in his mind. Hopefully, eventually he’d rejoin the world or at least tell them what had happened to him.
As he headed back to town his thoughts skittered over the members of his family. Fear gripped his throat as he thought about Brittany and concern filled him when he considered Jacob. At least Tom had found love with Peyton, and Benjamin was just a laid-back, happy soul whose goal in life was to see everyone else just as happy.
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