by Penny Reid
This made her laugh. “I think we might be incapable of doing things the normal way around.”
“That’s only because we’re both outstandingly magnificent.” I grinned.
“Well, I can’t disagree with you there.”
I stroked her hair and gazed at her lovingly. It was official. I was in love with this woman.
* * *
Eventually, we did put our clothes back on. It was both a sad and happy moment. Sad because she was covering all that perfect skin; happy because I still held her knickers hostage, so when she bent over to put on her leggings I got a glorious eyeful of her arse.
We climbed the stairs and she went outside to the back lounging area while I claimed the captain’s chair. I brought the engine to life and set the course. The day was cold and crisp, but sunny, and there was a light wind. I glanced behind me at Eilish, who was looking around the marina, taking it all in.
Walking back to her, I asked, “Have you something to tie your hair up with? It’ll be windy where we’re going.”
She reached in her pocket and found something. I took it from her and snapped it over my wrist. “Turn around.”
Hesitantly, she turned, and I gathered her long tresses in my hands. Then I pushed all her hair over one shoulder and dug my fingertips gently into her neck, massaging.
“You spend your whole day easing other people’s aches and pains, but nobody ever eases yours,” I whispered and continued working my hands into her tight muscles. She stayed quiet, then after a minute, she relaxed and sank back into me. My heart beat wildly. I ran my thumbs down her neck, back up again, down, up. I did my best to forget the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra or underwear beneath her clothes. And failed.
She trembled, and I wanted to drag her below deck again so badly I practically burned with need.
But I didn’t.
I wouldn’t.
She deserved a proper date, not more shagging on my friend’s boat. If we were going to shag all day, it needed to be on our boat. It would have taller ceilings and we’d buy it together once we were married.
Whoa, slow down there.
Eilish let out a tiny sound of pleasure. Unable to help myself, I bent and pressed a light kiss to the base of her skull. Breath whooshed out of her.
I gathered her hair up again, this time pulling the band off my wrist and using it to make a ponytail.
“There,” I whispered, not wanting to let her go.
“Thanks,” she whispered back.
“Stay here, enjoy the view. I’ll start taking us out.”
She only nodded, and I made my way to the front again. We were cruising for a good ten minutes when I felt Eilish come up behind me and wrap her arms around my middle. I stood frozen, the affection from her totally unexpected.
“It’s so peaceful out here. I rarely get to see Dublin from this angle.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty,” I managed, my voice husky.
We were both quiet then, plowing through the sea. I loved the salty air, the freshness of it. I loved how there was nothing all around but us. Perhaps that had been my motive all along, to get her alone, have her all to myself.
Her hand moved inside my jacket, stroking along my stomach for a second, then dipping under my shirt. Her fingers brushed my skin and I had a hard time holding it together. For a split second I wondered what it’d be like if she just went all out and grabbed my crotch. I knew it wasn’t something she’d ever do, but a bloke could dream.
Speaking of dreams.
“Eilish.”
“Yeah?”
“Tell me about the night we met.”
Her hand paused mid-stroke.
“Why?”
“Because I honestly hate myself for not being able to remember. Sometimes I have these flashes of memory, but I can’t tell if they’re real. Maybe if you tell me how it all went down it’ll come back to me.”
“Is it that important?” she whispered.
“So fucking important. Please.”
She sucked in a breath, her hand sliding from my body. “Okay then.”
“Oh, and Eilish?”
“What?”
“Keep touching me.”
There was a moment of silence. Her hand didn’t move, but then it did, and I sighed quietly in relief.
“So, it was at Annie and Ronan’s wedding,” she started.
“Yeah, that much I recall.”
“You do?” She sounded surprised, and pleased.
“Yes. You said something about it at dinner when you told me about Patrick, and I’ve been wracking my brain. I remember asking you to dance.”
“Oh,” she exclaimed, her voice breathy. A moment of quiet passed before she started speaking again. “I was so excited to be there because I was really into rugby at the time. Like, superfan territory.”
That was unexpected. “You were?”
“Yep. I knew every player’s name, their stats, basically every single detail about the league. I was such a nerd.”
“Did you know about me?” I asked, interested despite the small voice in the back of my head warning me to stop asking questions.
“Of course I did. Like I said, I knew about everyone.”
I shouldn’t have asked the next question, but I couldn’t seem to hold it back. “Did you have a crush on any of the players?”
She went quiet, then answered. “Maybe.”
“Who?”
“Never mind.”
“Oh, come on. You’re a grown-up now. A silly teenage crush is nothing to be embarrassed about,” I cajoled, but for some reason I had difficulty swallowing.
She went quiet again and I grew frustrated, turning and pulling her forward so she was in front of me. I slid my arms around her waist and bent to whisper in her ear. “You can tell me.”
She let out a little huff and shook her head. “Fine. It was you, if you must know. I had a crush on you, Bryan. It’s why I was so dumbstruck when you asked me to dance.”
I let that sink in for a moment. Eilish had had a crush on me when she was a teenager. Shit. And like the opportunistic twenty-five-year-old swine I was, I probably ate it up. I certainly took full advantage of it.
“I should’ve left you alone.”
She tilted her head a little to look up at me. “Why? I was over the moon that you were even acknowledging my existence. It felt like the best night of my life.”
My eyes widened in surprise, and the unease that had felt so small a moment ago flared like a fire in my chest. “It did?”
She glanced down. “You were actually really sweet and patient.” A pause as she blew out a breath. “God, I was such a love-struck little virgin.”
Wait, what?
Holy shit.
Holy fucking shit.
Her cheeks heated as soon as the words were out and I knew she hadn’t meant to say them.
Meanwhile, I hadn’t recovered from her confession.
Jesus Christ. She’d been a virgin?
I couldn’t fucking believe this. I couldn’t believe myself. I’d taken something so special without a single care. But that’s who I was when I drank, a careless, greedy arsehole.
She twisted in my arms so her back was to me. I pulled her around again and met her gaze, my eyes flickering back and forth between hers, oddly out of breath. “I was your first?”
She swallowed, then nodded.
“Oh, Eilish, I’m so fucking sorry,” I said, my tone full of remorse. She must’ve been so scared when she found out she was pregnant. Pregnant from the one and only time she’d had sex. With me. The biggest bloody arsehole in the whole entire world.
“It’s okay,” she assured me. “Honestly. Like I said, you were really sweet. You kept telling me how much you loved my hair and how gorgeous I was.” Some things didn’t change. I still loved her hair. And yeah, I had to admit that there was some tiny part of me that loved the idea of being her first, even if I made an absolute hames of it in the end.
I was quiet for a l
ong moment, my brain working.
An image of her flashed into my mind’s eye, the night I saw her at William’s birthday party, how she’d acted like she didn’t know who I was when the truth was she’d followed my career for years. She’d had a crush on me. And then the first time she met me, we slept together.
Another image, of her friend this time, the way Josey had looked at me last week, how she’d acted. I didn’t like the thought of Eilish ever looking at me that way.
“I thought I was in falling in love,” she added distractedly, pulling me from my thoughts, her eyes losing focus. “The next morning I woke up, stars in my eyes and everything, and you barely even knew who I was or what we’d done.”
I winced. A silence passed between us and I tried putting all the pieces together. As I did, something hit me, a weird memory, and I couldn’t tell if it was real.
“I told you to close the curtains,” I blurted, and her eyes flared.
“What?”
“That morning, I told you to close the curtains, didn’t I? That was you.”
She gasped, her hand going to her mouth. “But how . . .?”
My brow creased. “I don’t know. I think you recounting the night helped. I wish I could remember more.”
Eilish swallowed and turned to stare out at the water for a second, her profile to me, her expression thoughtful. When she finally spoke it was barely a whisper, “Yes, that was me.”
I swore under my breath and grabbed her upper arms, my thumbs brushing tenderly back and forth. My face was earnest when I said, “I know I keep repeating myself, but I really am sorry, Eilish. You deserved so much better than that. I was a total prick to you.”
“You were an addict, Bryan. And it wasn’t like I discouraged your attention. When you flirted with me I flirted right back, and I was stone-cold sober. You were the one under the influence.”
I contradicted her automatically. “I was the villain of the piece, and we both know it.”
She shook her head and met my gaze pointedly. “There were no villains. Just two misguided people colliding and making something beautiful. I might’ve been scared at the time, but I wouldn’t trade Patrick for the world. He’s my everything.”
My heart warmed and then burned, the odd nagging of unease and doubt dissipating at her mention of our son.
I loved how much she loved him, and in that moment I realized how much I wanted that love. Her love. I wanted the three of us to be a family so badly my bones ached. Unfortunately, I suspected that if I breathed a word of this to Eilish she’d run a mile. I was some crazy bunny boiler, infatuated with her.
She’d had nearly five years with Patrick, and I thought about my own mother. She’d had twenty-nine with me, but I never saw that type of love and adoration from her eyes. She needed me, loved me, but adored me as someone incredibly special she’d made? That I wasn’t so sure of. Eilish. She was the one who was teaching me about love, and I knew I wanted that in my life. Despite how we began, I wanted her and Patrick as mine.
She turned in my arms to stare at the water again. We’d been heading out to sea but I steered the boat back around in an arc and headed toward Ireland’s Eye. Eilish noticed the direction and cocked her head to me with an excited smile.
“We’re going to the island?”
I smiled right back. “Yes, love, we’re going to the island.”
20
@THEBryanLeech: When you’re having the most perfect day because @ECassChoosesPikachu is the most perfect woman <3
@ECassChoosesPikachu to @THEBryanLeech: Sweet talker… go on. ;-)
@SeanCassinova to @THEBryanLeech: I’ve created a monster. Don’t tell me you’ve abandoned your housecoat and prune addiction?
*Bryan*
Once I secured the boat, I grabbed my backpack and helped Eilish off. Her earlier wariness about going out on the water was gone, and she seemed relaxed.
“I thought we could walk up to the Martello Tower and have a picnic,” I said as I took her arm and led her away from the shore.
She eyed my backpack. “You brought food?”
“What kind of date would I be if I let you starve?”
“I just never pictured you as the domestic type,” she replied, eyes on the ground as we navigated the rocky terrain.
“Well, get picturing it because I cook all the time. Will has put on half a stone in muscle from all the gourmet protein I’ve been feeding him.”
She giggled. “He is very big.”
“Not sure I like you commenting on my flatmate’s size,” I teased.
Eilish rolled her eyes. “You know perfectly well we’re just friends.”
I shot her a grin, because I did know that. Don’t get me wrong, I’d been ready to string Will up by the balls after I heard he was taking her out on a date. I knew he liked Eilish, so I decided to be upfront and tell him I was Patrick’s dad. After that he set aside his romantic notions and decided to help me instead. He was a real class act, a true friend.
I was certain Eilish’s change of mind about me was half Will’s doing. I hadn’t been surprised by the news when Eilish informed me in her kitchen last week that she and Will weren’t dating, but I had been surprised she’d told me. I’d expected her to hide behind the ruse for a little longer.
“I haven’t been out here since I was Patrick’s age,” she said after we walked a few minutes in quiet. She sounded wistful.
I glanced down at her. “No?”
“My mother was never one for the outdoors. She put an end to activities like this pretty early on. Cocktail parties and soirees were more her thing.”
“Yeah, mine too. Though she preferred house parties and night clubs to soirees.” I let out a breath. “Speaking of mothers, did Cara give you any grief about us ditching her hoity-toity brunch?”
Eilish adopted an exasperated look. “Yes. But I’ve been sending her calls to voicemail. I don’t have the energy to deal with her.” Her expression turned thoughtful. “Are you close with your mother?”
“I am. Dad left when I was three . . .” I thought about that for a moment, remembering my mother’s version of the events. Taking a deep breath, I continued, “It’s been just the two of us as far back as I can remember. Kind of hard not to be close in a situation like that.”
She almost stumbled over a rock but I caught her by the elbow just in time. “I’m the opposite,” she said once she found her footing again. “If I’m the Sahara Desert, my mam’s the Arctic. We never really saw eye to eye. Still don’t.”
“I’m not saying we agree on everything,” I said. “In fact, I disagree with Mam on a lot of things. She drinks too much for one, and obviously you know how that can be a problem for me. I’ve been trying to help her get sober, but it’s been a losing battle up until recently.”
“Oh? What changed?” she asked, curious.
“I told her about Patrick.”
Her brows shot up. “You did?”
I nodded. “I didn’t expect it to have such an effect on her, but hearing she has a grandchild really put a bit of life back into her eyes. I hadn’t seen her look so hopeful in a long time.”
“That’s great,” said Eilish somewhat warily.
“Don’t worry. I already told her it’d be a while before she can meet him. I’ll make sure she’s cleaned up her act before that ever happens.”
Eilish bobbed her head, her expression relaxing as a thought passed behind her eyes.
I tucked some hair behind her ear and asked, “Hey, what are you thinking about?”
She bit her lip. “Is that how you developed your addiction? Because of your mother?”
I exhaled a deep breath, going quiet for a moment before I answered. “It certainly had a hand in it, and I’m sure I got my addictive traits from her, but it’s not like she forced alcohol down my throat. I did that of my own free will. She probably could’ve set a better example though.”
“Hmm.”
“What does ‘hmm’ mean?”
“
You don’t blame her. Most people blame their parents for everything, even when they’ve had it fairly easy growing up. It’s unusual.”
“Yeah well, I’m not in the business of laying blame. I know what it’s like to make mistakes, and I wouldn’t be where I am now if the people in my life hadn’t forgiven me. She might not have been the best parent, but she was always there for me. And she always came to my games. It was only as I got older that we drifted apart. We were still close, just not as close as we used to be.”
Eilish frowned. “I’m not looking forward to Patrick becoming a teenager and drifting away from me. I wish he could just stay little forever.”
I gave her a warm look and slid my arm around her waist as we walked. “You’re the light of that kid’s life. Even when he does grow up I know he’ll never stop loving you. No one could ever stop loving someone like you, Eilish.”
She sucked in a breath and then went quiet. I saw a hint of a blush color her cheeks. She always went quiet when I spoke the truth about her.
We reached the Martello Tower and took a few moments to look at the view. All I could hear was the wind and the waves knocking against the shore. When I looked at Eilish, she was so bloody beautiful she took my breath away. Bright, vibrant strands of hair blew across her face. Her luscious pink lips parted a little, her tongue dipping out to wet them. It was her eyes that were most beautiful though. The light caught them in such a way that made them seem like glass, the blue of the sea reflecting through and giving them color.
I wanted to kiss her.
Instead, I threw my arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “We should take a picture,” I whispered, reaching down into my pocket for my phone. Our chests brushed and I felt her shudder. I clicked on the camera and held it up in front of us. Eilish wore a vaguely uncomfortable expression so I nudged her a little.
“Hey, are you okay?”
She nodded and her lips started to curve.
I snapped a few shots before sliding the phone back in my jeans pocket.
“What are you going to do with those?” she asked curiously.