Busbee, Shirlee

by Lady Vixen

  Mrs. Eggleston's smile faded as she thought of no longer having her dearest Nicole and Christopher nearby, and the notion of not seeing Simon each day was anguish. Pulling herself together, she said slowly, "Oh, yes, I do!"

  What Regina said, she realized sickly, was true. She certainly could not intrude on a honeymoon, nor could she remain here at Cavendish Square alone with Simon. Her sunny future vanished in a moment, leaving her chilled and frightened. What was she to do?

  Regina firmly ignored the faintly stricken expression in Mrs. Eggleston's eyes and said bracingly, "You see, Simon? Letty understands. No doubt she has already made plans for such a contingency! Do you think you will travel abroad, my dear, or will you go back to America? I'm certain that after all the interesting places you've seen you won't want to remain in England."

  Simon's face grew darker and his eyes hard and stormy, while Mrs. Eggleston fought bravely to present an unmoved countenance. Inwardly she was shrinking, unable to believe that dear Regina, who knew her circumstances, could be so cruel. She realized with dismay that she had unconsciously depended upon Regina's patronage in those far-off days when Nicole had no further need of her services, such as they were. But those "far-off" days were suddenly and frighteningly in front of her, and it was obvious that Regina intended to play no part in her future. Gathering her failing forces with an effort, Mrs. Eggleston said brightly, "Yes. Yes. I expect that is precisely what I shall do!" Then afraid she might disgrace herself by bursting into agitated tears, she rose hastily from the table, murmured distractedly, "Excuse me, I have some things to do!" and fled, her distress rather obvious.

  Pretending that nothing of any importance had just happened, Regina buttered a piece of toast, biting daintily into it with real pleasure as she waited for Simon's wrath to break over her head. She hadn't long to wait.

  "Well!" Simon burst out after a moment of menacing silence. "I certainly hope you are satisfied with yourself! I never thought I would see the day that you would treat an old friend so coolly. I am ashamed of you, Regina! Why you might as well have told her to pack her bags and leave at once! How could you?"

  "Oh, pooh!" Regina replied irrepressibly. "Letty understands. Besides what else is she to do? Nicole certainly won't need her once she is married!"

  "Ha! Just because Christopher makes some careless remark is no reason to assume he and Nicole will marry! And in December at that!"

  "Letty was the one who suggested December," Regina said in dulcet tones. Simon was visibly shaken and angry, and surreptitiously Regina crossed her fingers, hoping it was because he now realized that some day, and soon at that, the cozy group at Cavendish Square would be split up.

  Damn Gina, Simon thought crossly, why couldn't she mind her own business! Everything had been so dandy and fine and now look at it! Blast all meddling women! Grumpily he snatched up his paper, but Regina was not about to let this promising conversation languish.

  Her voice was very reasonable as she said, "Perhaps we are wrong in pinning so much hope on one statement of Christopher's, but Letty should be thinking of what she shall do in the event Nicole marries anytime soon. Any- one can see it is unlikely Nicole will face the New Year, if not married, certainly unbetrothed!"

  "Oh, I'll not deny it, but that was no reason to put the idea in Letty's head that she should go gallivanting off all over the world!" Simon retorted heatedly.

  Opening her eyes very wide, Regina asked with well-feigned astonishment. "Why, what else should she do? There is nothing for her in England! Oh! I expect she will visit me once in a great while and Nicole also. But really, Simon, she is not chained to us!"

  Looking at his sister with open dislike, Simon snapped, "I know that! But I don't see why she couldn't find a cozy little house near you in Essex." Warming to his theme and feeling suddenly pleased with himself, he continued, "You know, Gina, I have never cared for your living by yourself, but if Letty were with you, why, it would please me a great deal."

  "I'm sure it would," replied his sister dryly. And that was precisely what Regina was bent on avoiding. If Simon could place Letty in her household, it might be months yet before he declared himself, and that was something she was determined would not happen. Mendaciously, she added, "But it would never work, Simon. I enjoy Letty's company but day after day I'm afraid it would drive me to distraction. You know how I prefer my own way, how I gad about all the time. Poor Letitia would be fagged to death keeping up with me. No, it would not do."

  Simon glared at her, not liking the implied slur against Letty. Almost aggressively he snapped, "Funny thing, Letty hasn't bored you these past months!"

  "That may be true, my dear, but there has been such excitement, what with the season and all, that no one could have bored me!" Regina returned glibly, but once again the conversation appeared on the point of dying as Simon picked up his newspaper, his mouth set in a tight line. Desperately playing her last trump, Regina said in a distressful tone, "Oh, what a goose I am, Simon! It completely slipped my mind. Oh, poor Letitia, what have I done to her! Poor, poor dear!"

  "What? Damn you, tell me!" Simon demanded, his interest fixed intently on his sister.

  Assuming a diffident expression, Regina murmured, "Poor Letty! She had absolutely no fortune you know. The Colonel died with debts and she has worked for her living these past few years. And like a fool I prattled on about her traveling abroad. What must she think of me?" Regina gave a sigh. "It is a pity it is so, but she will, I suppose, have to start looking for some position to keep her. I must write to several of my friends—one of them is bound to need a governess, or perhaps a companion." Simon opened his mouth, and suspecting what he was going to say, she rushed on, "Unfortunately I could never offer her such a position with me, for she would immediately guess that it was charity, and you know how touchy her pride is." Her face thoughtful, Regina said, "Now let me see . . . Oh, I have it, the very thing! Mrs. Baldwin mentioned just last week that she was considering looking for a companion." Rising to her feet she continued, "I shall tell Letty at once! Poor little thing, I know she must be crushed imagining that I would do nothing to help her!"

  "Sit down!" The words thundered from Simon, and there was no mistaking the violence underlying his tone of voice. "Mrs. Baldwin?" he said with loathing. "That old harridan is the rudest, most overbearing woman in London and you would put Letty at her mercy!"

  "But, Simon, what else is there to be done?" Regina asked reasonably. "Mrs. Baldwin will pay her handsomely, you must admit."

  "Yes! And then treat her like a slave! Unthinkable!"

  Regina smiled sweetly. "I agree completely. But perhaps some other method will present itself. After all, it is not as if something must be decided today."

  "Bah!" snorted Simon, and with surprisingly youthful strides he stalked from the room, slamming the door behind him.

  An angelic smile on her lips, Regina contentedly sipped her tea.

  Simon did not immediately seek out Letitia. He retreated to his office to think over all that Regina had revealed. The thought of his little Letty working to support herself these past years was abhorrent, and that she might be forced to do so again, why that was simply intolerable!

  Simon had been a widower for over twenty-five years, and never during that time had he given any thought of marrying again. His marriage had not been unhappy, but it had not endeared that state to him. And Mrs. Eggleston, the one woman who could have changed that notion, had departed the country before it had really dawned on him that they were now both, in their twilight years, free to marry each other.

  All his protective instincts had been at once aroused by Regina's disclosures. And he was afraid that Letitia would depart as clandestinely as she had from Beddington's Corner five years ago. Remembering his pain and disbelief then, he paced the room, a tall, still handsome man not many months from seventy.

  Marriage, he knew, was the answer. He had wanted to marry Letitia since he was a dashing seventeen and she a blushing sixteen. But now that the
moment was upon him, he was beset by the same fears and uncertainties that plague any man at any age the moments prior to a proposal: Did she love him? Would she accept?

  She must marry him, he thought fiercely. He had loved her all his adult life, and he could not bear to think of living out the remainder of his years without Letty at his side.

  Determinedly, he sought her out and discovered her after several moments in a small room at the back of the house. Mrs. Eggleston had her back to him, for she was staring blindly out a window that overlooked the small town garden, her thoughts bleak and miserable. There was a dejected slant to her small shoulders, and seeing them so, Simon felt a leap of protective tenderness. But he hesitated, strangely at a loss, all his fears and doubts submerging his usual confidence. And as he dithered, the heartrending sound of a faint sob reached his ears. Instantly all other considerations were thrown to the winds, and he rushed to Mrs. Eggleston's side.

  "Letty, Letty, my dear, you must not cry!" he pleaded. His harsh, lined features were soft and wretched as he turned her gently to face him, and his big, gnarled hands rested warmly on her frail shoulders.

  "Oh, d-d-dear!" Mrs. Eggleston stammered, valiantly attempting to recover her composure. But it was no use, she was feeling so unwanted, so alone and completely deserted that the sight of Simon's dear face, so worried and solicitous, was her undoing. The big blue eyes filled with tears, and the maidenly precepts practiced for all her life vanished as she threw herself into his arms and wailed, "Oh, Simon! I am so dreadfully unhappy! What am I to do?"

  Simon's arms closed instinctively and possessively around her small body. "Letty, Letty," he murmured tenderly into the soft white curls that brushed against his chest. Feeling her in his arms at last after all the long, interminable years that had gone before, his confidence returned full-blown, and almost aggressively he said, "Why, you will marry me! You should have years ago! And I'll not have you say nay to me now!" On an incredibly tender note, he added, "The years we wasted, my love. Please, don't let us waste those that are left to us."

  "Oh, Simon, no! We shall not! I've always loved you and I could not bear it if we had to part again. I think I should die!" Mrs. Eggleston said earnestly, her face pale and upraised to his. Unable to resist Simon bent his head and fervently kissed his Letty for the first time since their youth.

  Perhaps the kiss did not have the fire and passion of fifty years ago, and certainly Letitia had lost the smooth, silken curves of a maid of sixteen and Simon the powerful muscles of a youth of seventeen, but it was as sweet and as satisfying as any kiss between lovers can be.

  "Oh, Letty, I love you so! We were such fools!" Simon said at last, Mrs. Eggleston still protectively cradled in his arms.

  Her small hand reached up to caress tenderly his lined cheek. "Oh, yes, we were, but, Simon, at least we have now," Mrs. Eggleston whispered softly, her face radiant, the blue eyes bright and a becoming flush to her cheeks. But then an unwelcome thought intruded. Her eyes fixed painfully on his and she asked, "Simon, has Regina said anything to you?"

  With his face perfectly blank, Simon asked in apparent surprise, "Regina? Why, what does she have to do with us?"

  Mrs. Eggleston gave a breathless little laugh, reassured that it was not pity or charity that prompted him. "Oh, nothing, Simon dear. Nothing at all."

  She glanced up at him almost shyly, and Simon couldn't help kissing her again. But beneath his happiness ran the fear that Letty would discover that Regina had indeed said something to him, and so when he had seated Letty on a small rose-velvet sofa and had sat down beside her, he said briskly, "We will marry at once. I shall obtain a special license and on Sunday you will wed me!"

  "Oh, but, Simon, should we? What will people think?" Mrs. Eggleston protested, genuinely shocked at such indecent haste.

  Simon clasped one of her hands in his and implored, "Letty, does it matter? At our age?"

  "Oh, Simon, no! No, it does not!" she replied breathlessly, her eyes shining with love.

  And what could he do but kiss her again, after such sweet, longed-for capitulation?

  CHAPTER 29

  Nicole had left the breakfast room earlier with no particular destination in. mind, seeking only to escape Christopher Saxon's disruptive presence. After wandering aimlessly through her rooms and finding nothing there to banish the picture of Christopher's mocking face, she rang for Mauer and, after slipping on a soft russet cloak of twilled sarcenet, left word that she was going for a walk in Hyde Park. As was the case whenever she stepped out of the house in Cavendish Square, she was accompanied by a servant, a circumstance she considered irksome. But as the servant was usually Galena, she managed to suffer her company without too much resentment. After all, she reminded herself time and time again, it wasn't Galena's fault!

  Galena following sedately behind her, Nicole's features were introspective as she walked slowly along one of the pleasant paths in the park, with no eye for the late-blooming cornflowers or the pungent-scented daisies that brightened the ground near her feet. What a terrible coil she had made of things, she thought with a spurt of annoyance.

  She had left England to escape from one trap, and she was just discovering that she had fallen into a far worse snare. Now the things that she would otherwise have accepted without question grated and irritated her until sometimes she thought she would go mad. The chaperons, the lack of privacy, having to account for her every minute, her acquaintances first having to be approved by Lord Saxon and Lady Darby, the places she simply could not go because, "My dear, it is not done!" left her feeling as if she were smothering.

  Lost in her thoughts, she continued to walk, unaware of the admiring glances sent her way, or the warmth of the sun shining brightly overhead.

  She could not, she acknowledged unhappily, continue to live much longer in this rigid unyielding social order that dominated the lives of her peers. She hungered with a growing fierceness for the freedom to be herself, to put aside the facade that was the heiress Nicole Ashford, and to let Nick, Nick of the ready tongue and impudent manner, Nick who dressed as she pleased and pleased only whom she wanted, come bursting out of this prison.

  Bleakly, she admitted marriage was her only escape, unless she were willing to be completely shunned by all she knew. Not surprisingly, Nicole did not want to live the life of a recluse or set tongues wagging more than she already had by her unorthodox return. What she wanted was a compromise, and perhaps marriage would give it to her, she mused slowly. Married women had much more freedom, were allowed more license, and if she were to live in the country, where the day-to-day living was more casual, more relaxed, then she might not feel so stifled and trapped.

  A wry smile curved her soft bottom lip. Marriage—to whom? There was only one man she could think of, and marriage to Christopher was unthinkable! If only she were still living in that fool's dream of infatuation with Robert! But she knew now that what she had felt for Robert had been just that—infatuation. Marriage with a man she did not love was out of the question. Besides, she reminded herself heavily, Robert had been as close to being banished from Cavendish Square as anyone could be. Certainly marriage to Robert would not be acceptable to anyone. And as for the rest of her suitors, well, Edward was not even worth counting, and while she enjoyed Lord Lindley's company, she had no desire to spend the rest of her life with him. There were others too, but none whom she couldn't bear to have go out of her life.

  Perhaps at Brighton she would feel differently, she mused. But then she sighed. Whom did she think she was convincing? Christopher would be there, and whenever Christopher was in her vicinity there was no peace for her. Wishing she could either love him completely or detest him totally and not be torn apart by the conflict within her breast, she determinedly shook off her gloomy thoughts. There was Brighton to look forward to, she reminded herself firmly, and she was a little fool to brood over things she couldn't change.

  Deciding she had been gone long enough from Cavendish Square, she turned and was a
bout to tell Galena that they would be going home now, when Robert's voice stopped her.

  "By all that's holy! Nicole!" There was no mistaking the pleasure, nor the delight in his tone, and with a smile Nicole looked up at him as he expertly guided his gig to her side.

  "Hello, Robert. How are you this morning?" Nicole returned easily, aware that this was the first time they had met without Regina's watchful eye on them since the night he had kissed her.

  Robert was very conscious of it too, and without hesitation he said, "Come for a ride with me? You can have your servant meet us at the south gate. And while my aunt may not approve of my escort, she can find nothing improper in a ride through Hyde Park."

  Nicole agreed readily, a surge of rebellion against Regina and Lord Saxon making her determined to exert her own independence. Seated beside Robert a moment later, she laughed, "You know, we shall both be without honor as far as Lady Darby is concerned."

  A warm light was in his strange sea-colored eyes, and Robert retorted, "And what do we care? It is a beautiful day and we are together—that is all that matters."

  There was a time such frankness would have pleased Nicole, but not this morning, not knowing she could never return his affections. Suddenly sensible that riding with Robert might not have been the wisest move, especially since she might have to repulse his advances, she wished she had not accepted so eagerly his invitation. A slight note of reserve in her words, she replied, "Yes, it is indeed a lovely day and it was very kind of you to offer me a ride."

  Robert caught the note of reticence in her voice and his first flush of exultation vanished. Frowning, he asked bluntly, "Would you rather not ride with me?"

  Nicole swallowed uncomfortably, very conscious that in the past she had led Robert to believe she did not find his attentions disagreeable. And now she was faced with the unpleasant proposition of trying to make him understand that while she liked him and enjoyed his company, he would never mean any more to her than just a friend.