by Toni Blake
For lots of reasons.
She’s your best friend’s ex-wife. Even if he hadn’t seen Jeff much lately, ever since he’d told him leaving Sue Ann was a bonehead move.
The ink on her divorce papers is barely dry. And he’d felt that, how fresh it all still was for her. Who needed that kind of drama?
She thought it was best to keep it confined to the cabin, too. Apparently what happened in Snow Valley stayed in Snow Valley. The truth was, he hadn’t even reached the point of thinking about the future when it had come up, but when she’d declared their hot little liaison a one-time thing, there hadn’t been much to do but agree.
Which led, of course, to the biggest reason of all he and Sue Ann could never be together in any real sort of way: By telling her about the end of your marriage, you showed her you can’t be trusted.
Sue Ann stood on Jenny’s porch on Sunday afternoon knocking on the door. As Mick answered, she suffered a flashback to that night six months ago when she’d first found out Jeff was leaving her, but she quickly reminded herself this was different. For one thing, Sophie stood next to her carrying a pretty box of Christmas cookies Sue Ann had whipped up this morning. For another, she was wearing shoes. They’d come to help trim the tree.
“Hey, come on in,” Mick said, stepping back, and as they moved inside, the scent of fresh pine met Sue Ann’s nose. She spotted a robust evergreen standing in one corner of the lake cottage’s living room just awaiting tinsel and decorations.
“These are for you,” Sophie said, holding up the box—decorated with dancing reindeer—to Mick. Lord, Sophie had had to pick the box with reindeer on it, hadn’t she?
“Cookies?” he asked, taking it.
Sophie nodded. “They’re to thank you for inviting us over.”
He shrugged. “Well, you and your mom are like family to Jenny, and we figured this year—” He stopped then, suddenly, and Sue Ann forgave him instantly for almost referring to Jeff’s departure—Mick wasn’t used to being around kids or needing to think before he spoke. “Figured this year . . . we could use the help,” he finally finished.
But Sophie looked baffled. “How come?”
And now Mick appeared stumped, too—but as Sue Ann prepared to jump in, he replied, “Well, I’m . . . really bad at decorating the tree. So Jenny thought you could give me some pointers.”
Nice save, Sue Ann mouthed in Mick’s direction, as Sophie cheerfully said, “Okay. I’m really good at it!”
Sue Ann had been aware of the Christmas music echoing through the room since their arrival, but only now did she hear Gene Autry singing “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Oh God—reindeer, reindeer, everywhere.
She’d been trying to get her night with Adam off her mind, but it seemed reminders lurked at every turn. Even if those reminders were only of the antlered variety. She still couldn’t believe it had been Adam behind that furry deer head—and yet something about it also made her feel a little giddy. Maybe because this meant he’d flirted with her even before they’d been trapped together. Maybe it made her feel less like the nearest available woman, and more like a woman he’d already noticed . . . in that way.
Not that any of that mattered. Because she did need to get the whole event off her mind. Still, that didn’t prevent a small and possibly hysterical-sounding giggle from erupting from her throat when Gene reached the part about reindeer games.
Mick and Sophie just looked at her, and Mick said, “What’s funny?”
Crap. Luckily, though, her eyes fell on a framed picture perched on the room’s small mantel—of Jenny, Mick, and their orange tiger cat, Trouble, all wearing Santa hats. “Cute picture,” she said.
Mick, however, didn’t look amused. “Yeah, that was Jenny’s idea. Me and the cat are still trying to get over it.”
Just then, Sue Ann’s best friend came whisking into the room, looking as bright and cheerful as ever in a Christmasy red sweater, her hair pulled back into a ponytail. “Hey, you’re here. How was your weekend away?”
It was a perfectly normal question, of course—yet it caught Sue Ann off guard. “It was . . . short, actually. I came home early. Yesterday.”
Jenny’s eyes widened. “How come? And in all that snow? I hear they get it heavier in that area.”
“Yes, they do,” Sue Ann reassured her. An inch or so still blanketed Destiny and the surrounding hillsides, but that was nothing compared to the brief but potent blizzard that had trapped her and Adam in the cabin.
“How much did they get?” Mick asked.
“I’m . . . not sure.” I didn’t notice because I was too busy saying goodbye to my lover. “But . . . a lot.” She looked Jenny in the eye then and said, “Can we talk? Like, in the kitchen?”
“Um, yeah, sure,” Jenny said, meeting Sue Ann’s gaze. “Mick, maybe you and Sophie can start with the lights.”
“Sounds good,” Mick replied as the two women made a beeline for the next room.
“The lights are the hardest part,” Sue Ann heard her daughter saying to Mick, very knowledgably, as she and Jenny ducked into privacy.
Once in the kitchen, where a string of fabric gingerbread men hung draped from the curtain rod—reminding Sue Ann of her gingerbread man panties, of course—they took a seat at the small table. “What’s up?” Jenny asked with quiet concern, her eyes connecting with Sue Ann’s. “Did something happen?”
“Lots of things have happened.”
Jenny’s eyes widened. “Like?”
Sue Ann blinked, then let out a breath. “You won’t believe it. Any of it. Because I don’t believe it.” Really, if the whole encounter with Adam had seemed surreal while it was taking place, that was nothing compared to how bizarre it seemed now. And the news about Jeff and Ronni and all that came with it—oh Lord, they were married now!—remained just as devastating.
“Well, spit it out.”
Though now that the moment had come to actually tell her about Adam, Sue Ann bit her lip. She’d always talked about her sex life to Jenny and their other friends with ease, but . . . this was different. So maybe she’d just start with the other stuff—and get it all over with quick, like ripping off a Band-Aid. She leaned forward, swallowed past the nervous lump in her throat, and kept her voice low. “Jeff married Ronni and they plan to have a baby. And he’s petitioning to cut off my alimony, so I’m broke. And I had sex with Adam.”
Jenny just looked at her as if she were speaking Chinese. Then, finally, she said, “What?”
Sue Ann simply sighed—then began again. “Jeff married Ronni and—”
Jenny held up her hands. “No, stop. I heard it all. I’m just . . . having trouble processing it.”
“Understandable. It’s a lot to take in at once.”
Now Jenny narrowed her eyes on Sue Ann. “All right, let’s start at the beginning.” But her gaze began to widen as she slowly comprehended bits and pieces of what Sue Ann had said. “Jeff seriously married her? Already? And—and he’s . . . what?”
So Sue Ann proceeded to share all the information Barry Clayton had given her over the phone. And as always, Jenny was her ever-supportive self, aghast on Sue Ann’s behalf, reminding her she didn’t need a man who would do something so cold, and assuring her the courts would never take Sophie away from her.
“But I still have to find a better job, fast,” Sue Ann explained. “And make sure I look like a great mom and all that, just in case Jeff ever did take that step. I mean, I don’t think he would, but . . . I never thought he’d leave me, either. And I never thought he’d marry Ronni and withdraw all financial support this fast as well. So he’s turning out to be . . . ”
“A giant asshole?” Jenny asked.
“Well, I was going to say unpredictable. But I think giant asshole is completely accurate, too.”
“Agreed,” Jenny replied, then let out a big breath as she said, “All right, now on to the next part, which I’m completely unclear on, by the way. In fact, I’m wondering if maybe I misheard you.”
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br /> “You mean the part about me having sex with Adam,” Sue Ann said to confirm.
And Jenny was back to looking like Sue Ann was speaking a foreign language. “Okay, see, there are a couple of parts to that sentence that keep confusing me,” she said. “Like the part about sex. And the part about Adam.”
“It’s confusing to me, too,” Sue Ann assured her. “But that’s what happened.”
Again, Jenny went silent for a moment, as if trying to puzzle it all through. “So . . . ” She gave her head a short shake as though trying to clear out some cobwebs. “You’re saying you had sex. And that it was with Adam. Adam Becker. My high school boyfriend who you were still trying to fix me up with just a couple of years ago.”
Sue Ann cringed at the irony.
And then Jenny’s brow knit as the news really, finally sank in. “Whoa. You had sex with Adam! I really don’t want to act like this is more important than the other stuff, but . . . start talking.”
So after another deep breath, Sue Ann dove in, starting with the department store reindeer, and proceeded to tell Jen the whole tale, which now felt completely exciting and a little lurid. “You realize,” Sue Ann continued, keeping her voice low, “that this is the first time I’ve even kissed someone other than Jeff since I was sixteen.”
“Wow,” Jenny said. “And . . . how was it?”
Sue Ann could only sigh. “Nice.” Then, remembering Adam’s reaction to that lackluster word, she added, “No, wait, that’s a lie. It was incredible.”
Which made Jenny’s eyes light up. “He was a good kisser when we were teenagers, too.”
Sue Ann cast a knowing nod. “Very smooth, confident, unhurried. Like . . . kissing is an art.”
“Yeah.” Jenny sounded nostalgic. “That brings back memories. But . . . how was the sex?” She hadn’t gone that far with Adam back in the day.
And the question only made Sue Ann let out yet one more well-pleasured sigh. “Well, maybe this is just because I don’t have a lot to compare it to, but it was almost . . . magical.”
“Magical? Wow.” Jenny’s gaze widened. “That’s saying something.”
Sue Ann simply nodded.
And Jenny smiled, clearly warming to the idea now. “So . . . you and Adam.”
But Sue Ann shushed her. “Keep it down—my kid’s in the next room. And I don’t plan on telling anyone about this—other than you. Because he and I agreed to just forget about it and move on.”
In response, however, Jenny gave her head a suspicious tilt. “Um, why would you do that? I mean, if it was all incredible and magical. And Adam’s a great guy.”
Sue Ann just expelled a heavy breath. She hadn’t been looking for someone to play devil’s advocate; she’d just wanted Jenny to agree with whatever she said. And though she usually told Jenny everything, she couldn’t tell her the story of Adam’s divorce—she’d promised, after all. So she fudged a reply. “Sure, Adam’s nice and all. But do I really need to be trusting another man with my heart so soon, Jen?”
Yet Jenny merely shrugged. “Look, you’re gun-shy right now, which I totally get.” Jenny had been through an unpleasant divorce herself before her bad boy Prince Charming had come along, so Sue Ann had thought her friend would understand her caution.
“For good reason,” Sue Ann pointed out. “It’s just too soon. After the divorce.”
“But it was magical,” Jenny reminded her. As if she could have forgotten.
“Yeah,” Sue Ann confirmed, a bit sadly. “But I have plenty going on in my life without that kind of complication, you know? Especially now. I had enough to deal with already—getting settled, working toward my real estate license, making sure Sophie comes through this okay—and now on top of all that, I need to drastically increase my income, fast. Plus I’m trying to give Sophie a nice Christmas. So this is no time to bring a man into my life.”
No matter how good he made me feel.
No matter how much he might still be on my mind.
Six
It was a cold, clear winter day, with snow upon the ground.
Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
Jenny headed toward the living room, and she carried a tray of red mugs filled with hot chocolate, thick peppermint sticks jutting from each. She was still trying to get over all of Sue Ann’s news—wow, Jeff had married Ronni, and Sue Ann had slept with Adam Becker!—but she didn’t want to leave Mick and Sophie alone too long since her big, bad, sexy husband wasn’t always comfortable around kids and she didn’t want to make things awkward for either of them. Mick had had a terrible home life growing up, his childhood full of dark memories, so maybe he’d just sort of somehow blocked out the part of himself that could relate to being a child. Whatever the case, she figured he’d be in need of rescue by now.
So it caught her off guard to find the two down on the floor amid a string of glowing tree lights, Mick showing Sophie how to dangle them in front of Trouble as he batted his paw at them. “Now wiggle ’em a little,” Mick was saying. “He likes to chase things that move.”
Such a simple sight, yet it warmed Jenny’s heart. Partly because she knew how tough this particular Christmas was going to be on Sue Ann’s daughter, and she figured any little bit of fun would be a distraction from the less happy parts of the holiday season, even just playing with Trouble for a few minutes. But also because she’d never seen Mick look even remotely relaxed around Sophie or any other child. Maybe his comfort now came from the accumulated time he’d spent in her presence over the past couple of years, or maybe the cat and the lights simply provided the right tools to bring the two together in this moment.
But either way . . . well, the unexpected truth was, the scene before her was doing way more than just warming Jenny’s heart right now.
In fact . . . whoa. It literally stopped her in her tracks.
Because—good Lord—she wanted a baby with him.
She hadn’t seen this coming, not at all. Yet she couldn’t deny it. The simple moment had just awakened her maternal instinct when she’d least expected it. She felt it in her heart. And she felt it in her womb.
Wow.
Years ago, she’d begun to face the fact that she would probably never be a mom. Before Mick, she’d been in an ill-fated marriage that had never produced a child, and since Mick . . . well, she’d known going in that he didn’t want kids. And she’d understood that, and truly respected it, too. It wasn’t for everybody. And she’d even been okay with it. She loved him like crazy and she knew they could lead a happy and fulfilling life without children as part of the mix.
And yet . . . this one look at Mick with Sue Ann’s little girl was tugging on her heart strings, almost instantly, making her yearn to be a mommy, and to make him a daddy. As the two laughed together now, watching as Trouble pawed madly at the twinkling lights in Sophie’s little hand, it nearly stole Jenny’s breath.
“Um, hello—you’re blocking the doorway,” Sue Ann informed her from behind.
“Oh—sorry.” She moved on, making a wide path around the lights sprinkling the floor, then announced, “Hot chocolate,” as she lowered the tray to the coffee table.
“And cookies,” Sue Ann reminded them all, reaching to open the decorative box she’d brought. As Mick and Sophie both joined them there, Sophie went straight for a reindeer-shaped cookie, complete with a red Rudolph nose.
“So what do you want for Christmas this year, Sophie?” Jenny asked—then almost regretted the question, fearing the answer might have something to do with her parents.
So she was relieved when Sophie said, “A reindeer.”
Her relief was only temporary, however, squelched by the look on Sue Ann’s face. “But I keep explaining to her,” Sue Ann said, “that Santa doesn’t really have any reindeer to spare.”
Oh. Jenny got it. Sophie wanted a completely impossible gift, and it was going to heap one more big pressure on Sue Ann during this first holiday season without Jeff. She knew Sophie’s happiness was Sue Ann’s top
priority right now and that she didn’t want to disappoint her on Christmas morning. “True,” Jenny chimed in. “I’m sure Santa would bring you one if he could, but he needs them all to pull his sleigh.”
At this, however, Sophie’s smile faded dramatically. She clearly had her heart set on having her very own reindeer.
Hearing a knock on the door just then, Jenny said, “That must be Amy. I was in the bookstore yesterday, so I invited her to join us.” Amy was the only one in their close circle of girlfriends who remained single—well, besides Sue Ann now. And while Amy never seemed to mind her single status, Jenny had sensed her feeling a little lonely lately, especially now that Rachel and Tessa were both busy making wedding plans.
“Hope I’m not late,” Amy said when Jenny answered the door, then held out a small red box tied with a white ribbon. “I made buckeyes.”
“Mick will love you for that,” Jenny said, since he loved the regionally popular chocolate-and-peanut-butter Christmas candies, then motioned her inside.
As everyone exchanged greetings with Amy and she stooped to scratch Trouble behind the ears, Jenny stood back and watched them all. She’d built a happy life here—far happier than she’d have dreamed possible when she’d returned home to Destiny following her divorce a few years back. I have everything a girl could want. A hot and loving husband. Dear friends. And a satisfying career. An astronomer at heart, Jenny loved teaching science at Destiny High.
“Sophie, you should get your mom to bring you by the bookstore soon,” Amy said. “We have a new stray kitten.” Amy, a major cat person, was getting famous around town for taking in strays at Under the Covers, and Jenny almost suspected that people with unwanted cats were actually dropping them off now. “I’m calling him Dickens,” she added.
“Because he’s a little dickens,” Sue Ann guessed.
But Amy just gave her a you’ve-got-to-be-kidding look—she always named the strays after authors she loved, after all, and this one seemed obvious.
“Ohhhh,” Sue Ann said then. “After Charles.”