"Obviously," said Xander, putting down his computer. "I'm going to have some of Bronson's soup. Do you want a bowl?"
Deryn looked down at her stomach just as it growled. She hadn't eaten anything yesterday either and she was already feeling much better after Bronson's hangover cure. Food actually sounded like a good idea. "Yes, but I can get it," she said, standing up with him.
She followed him to the kitchen, and took out bowls and spoons while he put a ladle in the pot.
"So I wanted to purchase you some clothes, but I wasn't sure of your sizes," said Xander, giving the contents of the pot a few stirs.
Deryn held out the bowls while he poured. "I'm actually not sure of my sizes anymore," she said. "I've lost weight since ... since before." She looked down at her bony body and frowned.
After putting the lid back on the pot, Xander lifted her sweater a little and poked her stomach. "Looks like you've gotten plenty of it back."
Deryn's face sunk. That was definitely on the list of top ten things never to say to a woman, even one who had been starved for five years. "Thanks. I think," she added under her breath.
Xander took one of the bowls from her. "I really have no idea when it comes to women's sizes so you're going to have to help me out a bit." He grabbed his computer, and took it with his food to the table. The hologram shut off as he walked, but came back up again the moment he sat.
Deryn did the same, except she only had to turn to the correct page instead of have a bunch of words appear floating in front of her. So it seemed that whatever game this was they were playing, part of it entailed simply acting like yesterday never happened. And being blunt. She could do that.
Taking a seat, Deryn told him what her sizes once were, but mentioned that he should probably get a size smaller in the pants.
"I'll get your old sizes," he said. "We should be optimistic about fattening you up. Bronson will be happy to assist."
Deryn crinkled her forehead. "Umm ... alright."
What was with him? So another part of this game was being ... rude? No, that wasn't it. Oblivious? It was closer, but still not right. She got the feeling he knew exactly what he was doing.
As soon as they were finished, Xander took their bowls and washed them. He then grabbed his computer and said, "I think I'll finish this in my room. Night, Leon."
"Okay." Deryn turned to look after him. "Night," she said as he shut his door.
All right. So he wasn't giving her the silent treatment, but he definitely wasn't acting like himself. It was like he was ... "Disconnected," she whispered. She had finally found the right word.
On the other side of the door, Xander smirked before plopping onto his bed. His room was all back in order now since he had fixed what he could and replaced what he couldn't with a very early trip to the Shopping District, but not before going back to her room and sneaking a few more kisses from her drunk but willing lips. Of course, he assumed she wouldn't remember. Those were more for him than her, anyway. But the rest of it ... The light touches, the calm manner, the dull and detached conversations ... those were for her.
Xander could only imagine the millions of conspiracy theories going on in her pretty head right now. But if this was what it took to get Deryn to realize she wanted him - the way he was - then he was glad to do it.
He gave it a week before she cracked, and that was being generous.
Chapter Twenty-Five
"President Saevus, I simply do not understand why we are suffering the same treatment as everyone else in the city," complained Wenton as the Guardians sat around their usual table. "I think you underestimate how humiliating it is to be stuck riding the tram at night with commoners."
"And just what is it you'd like me to do so that you might not suffer this humiliation ?" asked Saevus, calmly folding his hands in front of him.
"I don't know. A personal car service? Not all of us can afford to order one every night," said Wenton, glancing slyly at Veli and Soren.
"Why not hover-bikes? We all have them," suggested Luka, looking rather bored as he tapped his fingers on the table. One stern look from his father made him stop.
Xander couldn't help but wonder if Luka would be so eager to please if he knew his father had put him on a hit list.
"The S.U.R.G.E.'s wouldn't like that," said Elvira, leaning towards her father. "They have a hard time differentiating between us and regular citizens. That's why we don't break curfew."
"We would end up having to increase our own patrol for that to work," said Xander, tapping his own fingers on the table for no reason other than to irritate Barath Voclain. "And we only have a few cars in each city. We cannot deprive them from the citizens who actually have the means to pay."
"Who cares about them? We're the ones who need to get around," said Wenton.
Xander stopped tapping and leaned forward in his chair. "Let me put a few things in perspective for you, Wenton. If we force the drivers to be our fucking chauffeurs, then they won't have time to go out and make any money, which means they won't be able to obtain the resources they need to survive. Therefore, they go out of fucking business and we're right back where we started. It's called cause and effect."
The others all stared at him blankly.
Xander rolled his eyes. "They work to live ," he drawled. His smile faded as he leaned back again. "Cars are out."
Everyone was silent for a long moment.
"So why are hover-bikes out again?" asked Luka, scratching his head.
"Because we don't want the whole city riding around at night, and for us to use them we would have to reprogram the S.U.R.G.E.'s," said Xander.
"But aren't there ways to arrange it so they leave certain bikes alone?"
Everyone's ears perked up.
"We can have chips made that emit a wave to repel the damn things, then register each one so normal people can't get their hands on them and install them in our bikes. It's complicated, but it's possible."
They all looked at Xander, who would, undoubtedly, find some sort of flaw in this plan. Only, this time, he had nothing. So they all turned their attention to President Saevus.
"You may head to the Government Lab in Middle City now and arrange it, young Voclain. Xander, go with him. And take Soren and his car along with you. Ms. Scout?"
Finley sat at attention. This was the first time the president had addressed her personally and she looked damn nervous.
"You will wait here and send out a S.U.R.G.E. to test its reaction on the first bike once this chip is installed. Everyone else is dismissed."
"Wait!" shouted Veli before anyone could even get out of their seats. "I believe Ruby owes us an update on his progress in finding the slave."
Xander groaned. "We sent a message to every citizen, asking them to submit their work schedules. This way, we will know the best times to invade their homes. Scout -" He motioned towards Finley. "- has already agreed to go through the responses and make a schedule for us. I hope you're all prepared to work overtime."
Now everyone else groaned.
Once that was done, they all dispersed. Xander and Luka followed Soren to his car, leaving Veli to find his own way home.
Getting the chip created was easy enough. While Luka and Soren handled the details, Xander excused himself to the bathroom. Of course he took a side trip, stopping by the lab he knew was being used to study mind control. It was empty.
As a Guardian, he had access to every lab there was, but he would need to make sure Luka was the one to check his wristband activity in the morning. He would believe whatever lie he told him, or at least pretend he did.
So Xander scanned his wristband and stepped inside as the door slid open. Knowing he only had a couple of minutes, he went straight for the lab's closet. Once inside, he looked around until he noticed several chips in glass beakers, each one labeled with a date.
"May I help you?"
Xander snapped his head around and saw a woman in a white lab coat staring at him.
"Mr. Rub
y," she said, even though he was positive they had never met before. "Is there something you needed?"
"It's come to my attention recently that samples of your mind control chip were given to a Guardian," he said, looking back at the beakers.
"Yes, Mr. Veli Tash," she said nonchalantly. "To report our progress to the president."
"He's done no such thing," said Xander, turning to face her. "And if you provide me with the most advanced chip you have, I'll make sure you and your team aren't punished when I report this."
The woman went stiff. "O-of course, Mr. Ruby. I had no idea."
Xander believed her.
She hurried forward and scanned the glass beakers, grabbing one labeled with a date from just under a week ago. "This is our most successful model to date. Nearly flawless, aside from slight memory loss when removed."
"Thank you," he said, removing the chip from the beaker and putting it in his inside coat pocket. "You called me in here to see your progress. Understand?"
She nodded, agreeing to the lie.
"Have a good day."
Xander left the closet and then the lab, hurrying back to where Luka and Soren were now waiting for him.
"So should we go to your place and test it?" asked Luka, swinging his bag of computer chips.
"Fuck no," said Xander, his mind flooding with the many disasters that could happen in that situation.
"But neither of us -" Luka motioned to him and Soren. "- lives even remotely close to here. There's no way we're going all the way back to Inner City to test them on one of our bikes."
"We already have to set it up for everyone anyway. What's the difference?" asked Xander.
"Exactly. What's the difference?" countered Luka.
Xander clenched his fists. He needed to stay composed. He needed to stay in control.
"We're going to your place," said Luka. "Why are you so private all of a sudden?"
Xander didn't have to think very hard to realize it was probably around the time he took in a runaway slave who sliced a man's throat open. A man who was with them now, and who he had neglected to mention to Deryn was still alive. This could not end well.
~
Deryn sat on the balcony, wrapped in her blanket while she mindlessly flipped the pages in the book she was not actually reading. She had tried listening to the radio in the living room, but even the familiar voices of Talon and Dakota were not enough to hold her attention.
She couldn't stop thinking about Xander. For days now he had been playing what she knew was a game. He was cold and distant, but still always right there. Speaking was not the issue, he would answer anything she asked. Bluntly. But there was no passion behind it, no drive, no personality.
Xander was trying to get her to crack. She knew he was. He wanted her to admit whatever it was going on between them was not nothing. And Deryn knew he was right, because what she felt was definitely something. But how could she admit that to him when she still hadn't figured out what that 'something' was yet?
She knew she cared for Xander, that was not the question, but how much did she care? After everything that had happened to her, she hardly trusted her feelings. He had done so much for her, it wouldn't be so farfetched that maybe her gratitude could be misconstrued for something else. Hadn't Bronson said something along those lines?
But gratitude did not explain the safe and warm feeling she got that night he held her during the thunderstorm, or how beautiful his heartbeat felt under her hand when they had kissed, a memory that was never far from her mind.
Deryn tried to distract herself with memories of Dakota instead, but it was hard when he had never ignited the same fire in her she was currently feeling. She had been so young back then. So innocent. The most she had ever thought about was kissing him when their instructors weren't looking, something that had seemed incredibly ill-behaved and dangerous at the time.
But Xander ... when she thought about him her mind wandered to more than just visions of them sneaking a kiss while no one was watching. She wanted all of him. To touch him, to feel him, for him to feel her. She wanted to possess every part of him, not just his lips.
Did that make her sick? She had just escaped the Guardians, and now she suddenly found herself desiring one. Xander knew the people who had taken advantage of her. He knew them well and saw them every day. But, still, she wanted him. To feel what it would be like to have him not just on her, but inside of her.
Deryn grumbled at the realization of her dirty thoughts. After everything that had happened to her, how could she want this? With him ?
She wished he was here now. So she could smell him, touch him, hold him. Everything she craved and more. God, he smelled good. It was intoxicating. Every time she breathed him in, she could never get enough.
Deryn bit her bottom lip.
Damn.
He was winning. She knew he was playing a game and, still, she was letting him win.
Deryn slammed her book shut. There was no point in even pretending anymore. She needed to talk to him. She needed to explain these feelings. How long until he would be home?
And then, as if some higher entity was reading her mind, she heard his voice. Coming from the street below and clearly talking to someone.
Deryn looked through the small crack in the balcony but she couldn't see anyone. She moved around until something came into view. Three figures in Guardian trench coats had just stepped out of a car. Xander pulled his hood down as he stared up at the balcony, gulping as his eyes caught sight of the crack he seemed to know she was behind.
One of the cloaked figures said something to him but she couldn't make out the words from this far away. Then he looked up to see what Xander was staring at. Luka Voclain. He squinted but saw nothing.
Xander looked away from her and spoke to the other two Guardians. The three of them disappeared from sight and, soon after, she could hear the garage door opening. When they walked back into view, Xander was leading his hover-bike by the handles. Luka took something out of his pocket and they all began scanning every inch of the bike. The third Guardian got on his knees and pointed at something. He moved out of the way so Luka could investigate. An artificial breeze hit him as he stepped back, causing his hood to fall off of his head.
Deryn's heart stopped. She tried to control her breathing as she stared at the ghost in front of her. Only, it wasn't a ghost. Soren looked completely solid, a visible white scar poking out of a collar on his once unblemished neck. It was a mark so large she could even make it out from her spot on the balcony five floors up. Her whole body was shaking.
Then Soren's eyes traveled upward, stopping on the crack in the balcony. She moved away and pressed her back against the wall.
"Shit," she whispered to herself.
"What are you staring at?" asked Xander, following Soren's eyes to the balcony.
Soren simply shook his head and pointed up at the sky. "Rain," he said in the crackly, barely-there voice that came out whenever he didn't use his collar.
"I think I got it," said Luka, getting back on his feet. "It should be dark in a few minutes so you can take it out for a test run."
"Fine," said Xander, mounting the bike and putting on his helmet.
"In the meantime, I need to use your bathroom." Luka held out his hand.
Xander sneered. "No. Go piss on a wall."
"That's really classy," said Luka. "Come on, mate. Give me access."
"I said no."
"Why not? You hiding something up there?"
Luka laughed but Soren eyed Xander curiously.
"Stop being so damn weird and hand your primitive keys over." Luka held out his hand again.
Xander grunted. It took everything he had to not stare at his balcony in hopes of giving Deryn a silent warning. Soren was already looking at him strangely. If he didn't let Luka in his apartment now then Soren might come back later, if he truly believed he was hiding something.
Reluctantly, Xander touched his wristband to Luka's and gave him
temporary access to his building, then he reached into his pocket and took out his keys, slamming them into Luka's hand. "You better be quick about it."
"Yeah, fine," said Luka. "Sun's down. Better call Finley and get riding."
Xander pulled down the visor on his helmet and turned on his bike. It began to hover and he took off just as Luka headed for his building. One glance over his shoulder and he noticed Soren catch the door before it closed. He stared in Xander's direction for a moment before following Luka inside.
"Shit!" shouted Xander as he turned a corner. "Call Finley."
His wristband called her automatically.
"Is it installed?" she asked upon answering.
"Yes, I'm near my place. Now send the S.U.R.G.E. out quickly, and be ready to shut it off if it attacks me."
There was a momentary pause. "It's done. It should be there in a few minutes."
A few minutes felt like forever in that moment.
"Xander."
"What?" he said harshly.
"I just ... I want to know why?"
Xander grunted. She wanted answers now? Really? "No reason, Finley. But, like I said before, it's nothing personal." Only, this time, it was.
He heard Finley whimper. "Is this because of what I heard Mr. Von speaking with the president about?"
Xander knit his brow. "What?"
"You know. About you and Lona. When she becomes a Guardian."
"What?"
"You know. The marriage they're trying to arrange."
Xander's eyes widened as his body drained of blood. "What?" he repeated for a third time. "Where the fuck did you hear that?"
"Just now," she said. "The president and Mr. Von were talking about it. You didn't know?"
"I'm not marrying anyone!" Xander had never had much interest in marriage, and the current dark world they lived in only exacerbated those feelings. And since when did the president care about the marriages of his subordinates?
"Oh. So if that's not the reason you're blowing me off, then I guess it's just me," she said sadly.
"Damn right it is!" Xander turned another corner, circling back around to his apartment. "Want to get back in my good graces, Finley? Find out more about this 'arrangement'."
Broken Wings (Cruel and Beautiful World, Book One 1) Page 22