by Rae, Harloe
“Fucking fine. I miss her, okay?”
He pretends to fall asleep, snoring and all. “She’ll be back in five days. Keep your panties on.”
I tense, glaring at my beer. “Knew I shouldn’t have told you.”
“Don’t get salty.” His arm collars my neck with a yank.
I push him off me. “Then quit touching me.”
He sobers, returning to his personal space. “It’s more than missing her for sex, right? Did you catch feelings?”
Admitting that to him before I’ve even settled on it myself seems ridiculous. “No.”
“Liar.” He laughs.
“I’m so glad I chose to confide in you.”
Gavin tilts his beer to his lips. “Just spit out what you have to say, Colt.”
“Nothing,” I snarl. “You’re the one insisting we talk. I want no part of this gabfest.”
He slams the bottle down. “Too damn bad. We’re discussing your shitty attitude. I’ve never seen you this twisted over someone.”
“This is a preview of June, when she’s gone for good. You better get used to it.”
“Or you could give her a reason to stay.”
“She won’t,” I retort.
“And how do you know?” He pinches the bridge of his nose.
I wave my bottle toward the door. “Her life is in Minnesota, where she’s currently partying her little tail feathers off. She doesn’t even care that I’m here alone, missing her beautiful face.”
“How many beers have you had?”
I swing my gaze to the ceiling, trying to count. My vision is only fuzzy around the edges, which suggests I’m good to have plenty more. Gavin is my trusty sober cab this evening, after all.
“It doesn’t matter if I’m belly up,” I grumble. “She’s gonna leave me.”
“I wouldn’t blame her with this sad sap act you’re pulling.”
I pick at my bottle label. “Dude, I sang for her.”
A fact that’s been heating my blood ever since. The way her gaze stalked me on that stage made me feel like the richest man in the world. That type of wealth cannot be measured. But damn, do I want to be worthy of her.
The comedic grin slips from his mouth. “Holy shit, this is serious.”
I thrust a palm out, nearly smacking him in the jaw. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
“In what universe? I can’t track your train of thought. Your sentence structures are poor at best. Let’s not get started on logical thinking.” He waves that off. “Never mind. I’m getting wasted off your fumes. Focusing is getting difficult, but okay, we’ve hit a breakthrough. You never let anyone hear you sing.”
“I’m aware,” I spout.
He smiles as a cheesy comeback. “Audria is your lobster, Colt.”
I blink through my bleary haze. “She’s my… lobster?”
“Don’t you get the reference?” His disgusted tone clues me in. The clang of utter appall rattles against my skull.
I roll my eyes so hard that my ass nearly falls off the stool. “No more of this Friends shit. Now is not the time.”
“It’s always the right time for Phoebe’s dating wisdom. Lobsters mate for life, genius. That’s all I’m trying to tell you.”
“Why can’t we be geese?”
“You hunt geese,” he deadpans.
“Which is why that has more meaning. I’ve been trying to capture Audria for months. Who’s catching lobsters in Iowa? No one. That’s a dumb analogy.” I’m pretty sure my expression is smug—or I look constipated. It could go either way.
Gavin huffs so loud that several people turn to stare at us. “And you’re a loser who doesn’t appreciate good television. Are you planning to mount her on the wall?”
“I’d prefer the bed, but sure. We can cover all the bases.” I snort into my beer. It’s not like we haven’t already.
“You’re a moron,” he chides.
“You can only call me so many names before running out of options.”
“I plan to stretch my creativity as long as you keep blubbering in circles.” He requests two waters when Buck passes us. The dude must be thirsty.
“Nothing is wrong with my talking.” I do detect an underlying slur, though. It might be leftovers from lunch.
“It doesn’t involve enough proposed action. What’re you afraid of, brother?”
I squint at him with one eye closed. “Didn’t we already discuss this?”
He grunts. “Yes, she’s set to leave Bam in June. Blah, blah, cry me a fucking sewer stream. Why won’t you ask her to stay?”
“I’m not stupid, man. She’s gonna go no matter what.” The sooner I accept that, the faster I can repair this Audria-sized hole in my chest.
“How about you try to find a positive solution?”
Sour acid gurgles in my gut. “That didn’t work so well for you, Keets.”
“Don’t be a dick. My disaster with Ana has no place here. That was a totally different story, one that doesn’t need to taint what you could have with Audria. Don’t try using my pain as an excuse.” Gavin rakes his fingers through his hair, yanking on the ends.
“Sorry,” I offer lamely.
“You should be.”
“All this talk of making moves and big feelings has me defensive. I didn’t mean to lash out.”
He chugs an entire glass of water, passing me the other one. “Quit mansplaining, and call your girl.”
If only she were mine. It feels like all the air was snatched from my lungs. With a loud exhale, I hang my head in my hands. “I chickened out, man. Audria gave me the chance to spill my guts, and I blew it.”
Gavin gapes at me. “You’re a fucking mess. Pull it together, man. You’ll have another opportunity on Sunday.”
“It’s more complicated than that,” I murmur.
He scratches his eyebrow. “Care to elaborate? Or is the plan to continue arguing until you pass out?”
Even in the slosh of booze, I can make sense of what’s bothering me. Explaining it clearly is another matter entirely. “Crops don’t grow in the snow. It’s our off-season.”
His forehead pinches with a grid of wrinkles. “Okay?”
I wait for more, but he just stares at me. “Do you get it?”
“If you’re asking if I understand your drunk rambling, the answer is no.”
“I’m not surprised this happened,” I admit. “My girl is amazing in every sense of that overused word. Plants aren’t meant to grow in the winter, but my feelings are definitely sprouting.” Who the fuck am I trying to fool? I’ve grown a mature oak tree with gnarled roots by now.
Gavin laughs so hard that tears collect on his lashes. “Wow, that’s some deep shit. Did you come up with that all on your own?”
I crack my neck with a pop. “At least I don’t regurgitate lines from a cancelled sitcom.”
He slaps my nape with a flat palm. “You take that back, brother. Friends is a classic that will never die.”
I rub at the burn with a wince. “Yeah, whatever. It’s not too bad. But speaking of ending a good thing, should I pull the plug with Audria? That’s what she wants.” But I find that’s the last thing I want.
Gavin looks ready to shake me. I don’t blame him. “I can’t follow this conversation. She wants you to break up with her?”
“That’s part of the agreement. If I sprout feelings, we call it. Haven’t you been listening?”
He tilts his head back with a groan. “Good Lord, grant me patience.”
I finish my beer and signal for another. Buck points at the water in front of me. Lame. “I guess I’m cut off.”
His gaze slides to mine. “You know that never happens. If you really wanna get shitfaced, Buck will serve you.”
What I really want is for Audria to be parked on the empty stool beside me. I glare at the vacant seat. The sight offends me, sending a hollow pang through my chest. I press a hand to the spot, picturing the hole that’s about to spread wider. But maybe it doesn
’t have to. Gavin nudges me, and I blink into awareness.
“What’s rattling around in that foggy brain of yours?”
A sigh whispers from my lips. “Love, man.”
He snorts. “You really are plastered.”
I scrub a hand over my jaw. “Nah, I think it’s coming together.”
“So, you’re going to tell her?”
“Yep, I’m gonna screw my heart on straight.”
He laughs. “That’s not how it goes.”
I lift my shoulder lazily. “Does it really matter?”
“Nope, just don’t be a coward.”
I thump the center of my chest. “No backing down. I’m going to put myself out there.”
“Now you’re speaking a proactive-relationship language,” he whoops.
“Oh, you understand me now?” Not that it matters. A light is flashing at me from the end of this dreary path, and the sun shines over my stool. Or I’m seeing things. Either way, I’m not completely numb, and the day is looking up.
He smacks a hand on the bar top. “Yeah, buddy. I’m like a proud older brother.”
“You’re younger than me,” I drawl.
“Don’t ruin the moment with semantics. Get your shit together so Audria won’t flee the second she catches wind of that dragon breath.” He swats at the air between us.
I barely listen as my plan solidifies despite the alcohol content in my blood. “It’s settled. Fuck the consequences. The worst she can do is leave, which is what will happen anyway. I’m going to ask her to stay.” I smile for what feels like the first time in months. “Five days is plenty for me to destroy all our roadblocks. She’ll never see it coming.”
Another glance at the clock only intensifies my fidgeting. I could deal with the luggage taking up residence on the floor or make a quick snack. Neither option seems gratifying enough to abandon my post of aimlessly watching time pass.
When someone finally knocks, I almost leap from my skin. A scent of new beginnings and fresh possibilities fills the air. I’m practically tripping over my own feet in the haste to bask in Reeve’s aroma. With a skip in my step, I rush to the foyer and swing open the door.
I lunge at him before he can lower his raised fist. He catches me, cinching one arm under my butt. I scramble upward and loop my legs around his waist, barely latching on before peppering him with kisses. Our mouths smash in a sloppy embrace that seals us together after thousands of seconds apart. He lashes his tongue along mine while I clutch at him to bring us impossibly closer. Those endless moments pour between us as we struggle to traverse the flames of our passion. With a whiny exhale, I slide down his front when he slowly releases me.
“Hey, farmer.” I tilt my chin as he stoops down for another smooch.
“Happy new year, babe.”
Damn, he smells better than discussing feelings and making plans. I detect hidden undertones of happily ever after. “I missed you,” I purr against his lips.
“So much.” He passes me a pink paper cup that I recognize from Beanie Whirl. “For you.”
“No spills after I mauled you? That’s talent.” I take a sip of warm, chocolatey goodness. A hum of pleased tastebuds accompanies my shiver. “Just the way I love it.”
Reeve winks at me. “Maggie knows what you like.”
I peek up at him from underneath my lashes. He’s sporting several days’ worth of scruff. The longer stubble looks sexy enough to rub my cheek across while riding him to climax. Giddy up, farmer.
That vision vanishes when he clears his throat. “All good?”
The moan I release is nothing short of sultry. “Ohhh, yeah. Perfect.”
He chuckles. “Hold that thought, babe. I wanna hear about your visit home.”
Then we can focus on us. Yes, great plan.
“Let’s sit down.” I lace our fingers together and tug him to the couch.
We settle on the velvet cushions with most of my body sprawling on his lap. Nothing has felt so right in ten lengthy days.
Reeve rests a palm on my thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. “How was your trip?”
With a dreamy sigh, I recline against him. “Gah, it was freaking amazing. I spent almost three days straight with my family, which was a bit much. My brothers fought about football while I baked with my mom and sister. Typical stuff. I met up with Vannah, Clea, and Presley after the Christmas chaos was over. It’s easy to forget how much I love the city. Downtown is the place to be during the holidays. It was so great to be back in the madness for a while. We went to all of our favorite places in Minneapolis near campus. I had a blast reuniting with all my friends. Everything is more bright and shiny and exciting after being away.”
I prattle on with more details about specific places, including animated hand gestures and comical impressions. Maybe I’m getting too carried away. It’s not like Reeve knows who, what, or where I’m blabbing on about. I glance over to see his smile wilting. The initial interest glowing in his eyes has faded. Upon closer inspection, the sparkling blue is turning steely. He’s gone rigid and quiet beneath me, alarmingly so. I frown at his extreme shift.
“Are you not a fan of sushi?” I furrow my brow. “I figured since you’re such an expert fisherman, going to a Japanese restaurant would be a different spin—”
“You’ll never be happy here,” Reeve cuts in.
I’m still trying to stretch my brain around his attitude, so I almost don’t hear him. “What?”
He tips his head back, glaring at the ceiling. “I don’t think this is going to work.”
“Wait, what?” I repeat as the screech of brakes blares in my ears. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He clears his throat. “No, that’s a lie. Everything is a problem, actually. This entire situation between us.”
“Um, okay. Do you mean our friends-with-benefits deal?” If that’s the case, I was almost certain we would be considering expanding our terms.
His mask of indifference suggests otherwise. “As in you and me. Period.”
The stabbing emphasis he slams on that last word booms with finality.
“Where is this coming from?” I slink from my comfortable perch on his legs with a cringe.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. This temporary dating status isn’t good for me,” Reeve reiterates.
“Since when? I just talked to you an hour ago, and all was well.”
His shrug is limp. “I didn’t wanna do this over the phone.”
Holy shit. A boulder crushes my windpipe as I suck in a gasp. My mind rebels against his crass tone while my heart is already cracking. I scoot to the opposite end of the couch, as if that will grant me clarity. Even with moisture blurring his image, I lift my chin and stare him down. “Tell me why.”
“It’s not worth it.”
He means me. I’m not worth… what? Getting too attached? I don’t have to wonder long before he executes more blows.
“Or the risk of it. I don’t wanna see you get hurt.”
I rear back at that verbal slap. “I’m the only one with cards in this game?”
“It was fun and all, Audria. I just think it’s best we part ways before either of us gets more invested.”
No more babe endearment. I’m just a regular girl who was stupid enough to believe love can conquer any obstacle. All traces of tension wipe from my stricken features. A blast of furious anger rolls in with a fiery flush.
Clenching my fists, I stand from the sofa on rattling knees and begin pacing. I search frantically for something—anything—to keep my hands busy. I spot my bags waiting for me near the kitchen. Unpacking will help. It shows I’m still a resident of Bampton Valley—for six more months. My groan is barely audible as I wrench a tote off the ground and stomp toward my room. Reeve’s footsteps follow my path with blunt force against the hardwood.
“I should’ve known this would happen,” I snap.
“Probably.”
I spin on my heel. “Why are you being such a jerk?”
; No sign of emotion crosses his flat features. Even his full lips rest in a smooth line. “This is me. I just did a good job hiding it.”
“That’s not true.” I refuse to believe it, at least. “You’re kind and caring and honorable. The man I know isn’t so… unnecessarily cruel.”
He grunts. “Guess that goes to show how shallow this fling really is.”
“Real nice, Reeve.” I toss a bundle of shirts toward my hamper before pinning him with a glare. “Would this conversation be happening if I weren’t leaving in June?”
He hovers over the threshold between my room and the hallway, not committing to coming or going—go figure. He scrubs at the back of his neck. “Maybe? I’m not much for predicting unrealistic futures.”
“That’s mature,” I mutter. “I’m being serious.”
Reeve doesn’t deviate from his bored persona. “It would be nice for everyone in Bam if you’d stick around.”
My eyes narrow to thin slits, the better to unsee this clusterfuck with. “I’m sure they’d welcome me without hesitation, seeing as this town is all about building an accepting community.”
“That’s one of our greatest charms, not that you’d notice since we lack everything else that’s important.”
My jaw drops. “Wow, you’re capable of being a real asshole.”
“Told you.” He spreads his arms wide. “I don’t need to hear more about the precious city, your real home where you want to be. I can’t listen to you already leaving while still standing in front of me.”
All of the oxygen flees my system with a gasp. “Excuse me?”
“It’s understandable why you never wanted to move here. Bam wasn’t your first choice. Hell, it probably wasn’t your tenth. And you’re stuck here for a year. I’m sure you feel trapped and can’t wait to escape. Don’t let me stop you.” The statement rolls off his tongue like an indisputable law.
“I never planned to leave Minneapolis to begin with, so this was all a big change. You know that. But I’ve fallen in love… with Bampton Valley.” I dodge the confession like a wimp. My heart already aches enough without another rejection.
“We’re a stepping-stone in your career. I get it.” Defeat colors his tone.