Deep in her heart she had always suspected he’d married Melanie in the first place to provide Cassie with a more normal home life than just that of an impressionable girl living with her two young bachelor brothers, one of them a wild hell-raiser.
He had never said as much—and he never would, she knew—but deep down she had always feared she was the one responsible for his disaster of a marriage.
Guilt washed through her as she realized she had given very little thought to Matt and how he must feel to have Slater back in town.
His marriage to Melanie had been over a long time before Zack Slater entered the picture—that much had been glaringly obvious—but it still couldn’t be easy for Matt to live in the same town with the man everyone believed had run off with her.
No, she corrected herself again, angry at the part of her still clinging to that wild, foolish hope. The man who had run off with her brother’s wife. She couldn’t forget that. She wasn’t ready to give up ten years of betrayal just because Zack claimed their mutual disappearance on the same night had been strictly coincidental.
“What has Matt said about Slater coming back?” she asked Ellie, her voice subdued.
Her sister-in-law shrugged. “Not much. He’s upset about it of course, but mainly I think he’s worried about you.”
“Still, it must sting his pride a little bit to have all those old, ugly bones dug up.”
Ellie’s mouth tightened. “I don’t think he had much pride left when it came to Melanie.”
She couldn’t dispute that. Cassie knew there were plenty of folks around Salt River who thought Slater did them all a big favor by taking away Matt’s wild, troubled wife.
The silence in the kitchen was broken by Sarah ripping open a bag of chips and pouring them into a serving bowl. “What puzzles me,” she said with a thoughtful frown, “is why the man would come back to Salt River at all. I would think anyone with a kernel of sense would stay as far away from here as possible. He had to know he wouldn’t exactly be Mr. Popular. Not with all the lives he hurt when he left. He must have a very good reason to come back. Either that or he’s crazy.”
“Maybe that’s it,” Ellie said, crunching on a chip. “Maybe he’s bonkers. Or maybe he’s just a heartless bastard who doesn’t care about who he’s hurting by coming back.”
Cassie remembered that flash of vulnerability she thought she’d seen as he had kissed her, and had the sudden, insane urge to defend him. He wasn’t crazy or heartless. She opened her mouth to say so, then clapped her lips shut again.
She wouldn’t defend him. Anything she said was bound to be misinterpreted by her family.
Why had he come back, though? It was a darn good question. One she was ashamed to realize she didn’t have the courage to explore.
“Can we change the subject?” she finally asked. “Those steaks out there smell delicious, but I’m afraid I won’t have much of an appetite if we keep talking about Zack Slater.”
Sarah was quick to apologize. “Don’t mind us,” she said softly. “We’re just a couple of nosy old busybodies.”
“Speak for yourself,” Ellie said with a teasing grin. “I’m not old.”
The conversation quickly drifted to other subjects, especially Sarah and Jesse’s upcoming nuptials. But even while Sarah described the dress she had finally picked out and the shower Cassie and Ellie were throwing her in a few weeks, Cassie couldn’t shake the memory of that breathless moment on the porch right before Slater had kissed her.
They were discussing the menu Cassie planned to serve at the wedding dinner when her nieces burst into the kitchen, dusty and sunburned from their favorite activity, horseback riding.
The girls were a contrast in appearance—Dylan red-haired like her mother, with freckles and a snub nose, and Lucy with curly dark hair and big gray eyes. But they were partners in crime in just about everything. They’d been best friends since Ellie and Dylan moved to town the summer before and had connived and schemed to bring their parents together.
Cassie had a feeling they also secretly took credit for bringing their fourth-grade teacher, Sarah, together with Jesse.
She shuddered to think what would happen if they ever decided to turn their fledgling matchmaking skills in her direction.
“We’re starving,” Dylan moaned dramatically. “When are we gonna eat?”
“Yeah,” Lucy chimed in. “I’m so hungry I could eat my boots.”
“From the looks of it, those boots have been in places I don’t even want to think about,” Ellie said. “Why don’t you take them off in the mudroom and then scrub all that barn grime off your hands and faces?”
They groaned but quickly obeyed, then both reached for the potato chip bowl at the same time. Before they could reach it, Cassie whipped the bowl behind her back with a grin. “Nope. Neither one of you is getting anything to eat until you give me my hug.”
This time they obeyed without the groaning. She put the bowl back on the table and gathered them close. Dylan was quick to return to the chips, but Lucy lingered in her arms and Cassie planted a kiss on the top of her dark curls, smelling shampoo and sunshine.
All too soon Lucy pulled away and Ellie stepped into the breach. “Why don’t you girls help carry some of this food out to the picnic table and tell your dad and uncle to hustle with those steaks?”
Cassie watched the girls obey, trying hard to ignore the sharp little niggle in her heart.
It shouldn’t still bother her. Not after all these months. Everything had changed now that Matt had married Ellie. Lucy had a different family now—a stepmother and a sister. The four of them had forged a loving family and she couldn’t be happier for them.
But she still couldn’t help an aching sense of loss that pinched her heart every time she was around her niece now.
After Melanie left, she had taken over caring for Lucy. What else could she have done? There was no way Matt could handle a three-month-old infant by himself and run the ranch, too.
And giving up her college plans and devoting herself to her niece hadn’t been completely unselfish on her part. She had needed the distraction, a firm purpose, something to help restore her shattered self-esteem. She found it in mothering the poor lost little baby.
For nearly ten years she had been Lucy’s mother in everything but name. She had held her chubby little hands when Lucy took her first fledgling steps, she had cuddled her at night and read her bedtime stories, she had nurtured her when she was sick. She had given the little girl all the love in her heart and had it returned a thousandfold, with sticky kisses and tight hugs and whispered secrets.
Everything was different now. She had moved away to give Matt and Ellie space to build their new life together. It was the right thing to do, she knew. But a part of her still grieved to know Ellie was the one who now heard those secrets of Lucy’s, who now received those sticky kisses and tight hugs, while she was relegated to the role of maiden aunt.
Now Jesse and Sarah were getting married, and she knew it probably wouldn’t be long before they added their own little branches to the Harte family tree.
She would love their children, just as she did Lucy and Dylan. She would spoil them with presents and take them to the movies and baby-sit so their parents could have a night on the town.
And she would always be on the outside looking in.
She ground her teeth, angry at the direction of her thoughts. She was childish to think such things, even for a moment. Her family loved her. She had absolutely no doubt about that. Lucy loved her. Their hearts would always be knit together by those ten years she had nurtured her niece. Nothing could change that.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” Sarah asked in her quiet voice while Ellie was occupied loading the girls up with plates and silverware.
Cassie pushed away her thoughts and summoned a smile. “Sure. I’m fine. Just hungry.”
Sarah didn’t look convinced, but to her relief, her future sister-in-law was too tactful to push her on it
as they finished preparations for dinner.
As usual, the meal was noisy and rambunctious, full of heated debates, good food and plenty of laughter. Cassie joined in, but a part of her sat back, watching her brothers with the women they loved.
Matt and Ellie never seemed to stop touching each other. Ellie’s hand on Matt’s arm as she made a point. Matt’s quick caress of his wife’s shoulder as she leaned back in her chair. A soft kiss when they thought no one was looking.
It still amazed her to see her big, gruff oldest brother teasing and smiling at his spunky little wife.
Jesse and Sarah were the same, and she whispered a quick prayer of gratitude that her middle brother had finally realized he deserved better than the wild, bubble-headed party girls he usually dated, that he had been wise enough to latch on to someone as soft and good as Sarah.
She was jealous of them for their happiness. All of them. For a few brief months she had known that same deep connection with Slater, but she was terribly afraid she would never find it with someone else. The knowledge had her picking at her steak and barely touching the homemade ice cream Dylan and Lucy had churned.
She had a good life, she reminded herself. Thanks to Slater, in just a few weeks she would have enough money to put the down payment on Murphy’s and finally realize her dream of running her own restaurant. She would have purpose in her life again. Direction.
“You gonna eat the rest of that?” Jesse asked, gesturing with his spoon toward her melting ice cream.
She grinned at her bottomless pit of a brother. And wasn’t it just like a man that for all he ate, he never gained an ounce of fat, just hard muscle? “What will you give me if I let you finish it off?”
“How about a ride in my police Bronco with all the lights and sirens blaring?”
“Ohh. As tempting as that sounds, I just don’t think my poor heart could stand so much excitement.”
Jesse pondered for a moment. “How about I let you keep Daisy while we’re in Vancouver for our honeymoon?”
She laughed, looking toward the shade of the sycamore where his big golden retriever lounged with Dylan and Lucy. “Again, a very enticing offer. But I think your baby would be happier here on the ranch where she can chase the cats and play with the cow dogs. Is that the best you can do?”
“Come on, Cass. Your ice cream is just sitting there going to waste, melting all over the place. Why don’t you just tell me what you want?”
She hadn’t want to bring this up in front of the rest of the family but she couldn’t pass up the chance. “Promise you won’t make any more scenes in town like the one in front of Murphy’s this week with Slater, and it’s all yours.”
Jesse glowered, all teasing forgotten. “I can’t make a promise like that. I should have pounded the bastard’s pretty-boy face in.”
She glowered right back. “It’s not your battle to fight, Jess.”
“The hell it isn’t.”
“All you did with your little chest-pounding demonstration was stir up more gossip. You’re not helping anything.”
“I’m not about to sit by and let him hurt you again.”
“I can take care of myself,” she snapped, even though she wasn’t at all sure of that, as evidenced by her response to that slow, sexy late-night kiss.
Before Jesse could argue, Matt broke in. “Neutral corners, you two. Looks like we have company.”
From here she could see the long, curving driveway into the ranch and she recognized Wade’s truck kicking up dirt as he roared toward the house.
“Who could that be?” Ellie wondered.
Color climbed up her cheekbones. “Um, that would be my date.”
“Who?” Jesse asked suspiciously, and she fought the urge to dump the rest of her melting ice cream in his lap.
“Wade Lowry. We’re going to a show in Jackson. You have a problem with that?”
Jesse made a face but didn’t say anything. She knew he and Wade didn’t get along, something to do with the days when Wade worked for the police department.
“That’s great!” Ellie interjected, with just enough enthusiasm to make Cassie wonder if her family thought she had zero social life. Which was basically the truth. “You should have invited him to dinner.”
She made a noncommittal sound, heartily glad she hadn’t. “I’m sorry I can’t stay to help clean up.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Ellie said. “Just go have a great time.”
She rose from the picnic table and plopped her bowl of what was now plain vanilla cream without the ice in front of Jesse. “Here you go. Enjoy.”
And that’s just what she would do, she thought as she walked out front to meet Wade. She would do her best to enjoy their date and try to summon more than just friendly feelings for him.
She wanted to grab for happiness where she could find it, not spend the rest of her life pining for something she could never have again.
CHAPTER 6
This was getting to be a bad habit.
Zack sat on the little front porch of his cabin, uncomfortably aware he was lurking in the corner like some kind of peeping Tom. He had pushed the comfy rocking chair as close to the wall as he could without the rockers hitting it. Nobody could see him, he assured himself as he watched the small driveway for any sign of Lowry’s pickup truck.
He wasn’t spying on her.
He wasn’t.
He was simply savoring the quiet of the night, enjoying a beautiful cool summer evening in the mountains, with the fresh, intoxicating smell of sage mixed with pine, and the stars twinkling overhead in a vast glittering blanket. He was only enjoying the soothing sounds of the crickets and the creek and the soft wind tinkling the wind chimes Cassie had hung on her porch.
Right. Who was he kidding? He had been sitting out here all evening trying to convince himself his motives were pure, even while one part of him kept watch like a nervous father for Cassie to return from her night out.
He had maintained his solitary vigil while the ranch guests returned in pairs or small family groups to their own cabins after a hard day of recreating. Now, just past midnight, the ranch was mostly quiet. Peaceful.
Even with this edginess that forced his gaze toward the driveway a dozen times a minute, he still found himself enjoying it.
A barn owl hooted somewhere in the night, a low, mournful call, and a few seconds later it was answered from one of the big cottonwood trees near the creek.
At least somebody wouldn’t be alone tonight.
He found himself smiling at the whimsical thought but sobered quickly. He, on the other hand, was still alone. Always alone, just as he’d been from the age of fifteen, except for that brief, magical time when his life had merged with Cassie’s.
Before he could dwell on that grim reminder he saw headlights flash into the driveway and shifted a little deeper into the shadows.
Lowry drove a late-model pickup truck with a fresh wax job that gleamed in the pale moonlight.
Zack watched him climb out and hurry toward the passenger side to open the door for Cassie, ever the gentleman, and Zack had to clench his hands into fists to keep from marching down the steps and slugging the bastard.
Cassie hopped out of the truck with what he thought might be just a little too much eagerness, as if all she wanted was to be home.
Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on his part.
No. Everything about her body language spoke of a woman who wasn’t eager for any post-date clutch. She shoved her hands in the pockets of her sweater and walked briskly up the walk toward her cabin.
“I had a great time, Wade,” she murmured when they reached the steps to her porch. “Thank you for inviting me.”
Lowry edged a little closer, and Zack went completely still so he could hear his next words.
“We need to do this more often,” Lowry murmured, and Zack didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he heard her make a little noncommittal sound in response.
“Well, good nig
ht,” she said, somewhat breathlessly. “And thanks again.”
Zack couldn’t help his smirk as she hurried up the steps of her cabin as if she wanted to put as much distance as possible between them. His smirk faded quickly when Lowry bounded after her to the door.
In the gleam of the porch light she had left burning, Zack could see her unease. Her shoulders were tight, and she was already reaching to unlock her front door.
She might have made it through the door unscathed. He would never know. At that moment he leaned forward slightly for a better view, and the rocker squeaked on a loose floorboard under his feet.
It was just a tiny sound in the night, no louder than the wind rubbing two limbs together, but she whirled her head toward his cabin. Though the lighting was dim, he was fairly certain her eyes narrowed suspiciously at the corner of darkness where he lurked.
When she turned back to Lowry, her smile was unnaturally bright, with none of the hesitation that had been there before. “I really did have a wonderful time, Wade. I know the Applewood Players in Jackson are performing a melodrama this summer. I’ve heard good things about it. Maybe we could go sometime.”
Wade looked slightly dazzled. “I’d like that.”
After an awkward pause he angled his head and Zack held his breath, knowing with grim certainty what was going to happen next. Sure enough, the bastard leaned down and brushed his lips against Cassie’s.
It wasn’t a long kiss, only a few heartbeats, but it went on long enough that Zack was forced to curl his hands into fists on the armrests to keep from throttling both of them.
He wasn’t sure through the haze of green over his eyes which of them broke it off. The next thing he knew, Cassie had unlocked her door slicker than spit on a griddle.
“Have dinner with me this week.”
“I don’t know,” she answered, and he wondered if that breathy note in her voice stemmed from reaction or nervousness. “My schedule’s pretty full for a while. Jean wants everything to be perfect for…for the new owner, plus I’m going to be busy training my replacement.”
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