But the cruel lessons of the past were just too ingrained in her psyche.
She had a sudden memory of a pretty little blue heeler her brother Matt bought at a livestock auction a few years ago. The dog’s previous owner must have been one mean son of a gun because she quailed, her belly slunk low to the ground and her tail between her legs, whenever Matt tried to work with her.
It had taken months of hard work and patience before her brother could gain the dog’s trust.
She knew exactly how that poor bitch felt right now. So afraid to let down her guard. To believe this was any more than just another vicious trick—an outstretched hand that concealed a harsh stick.
“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I’m not ready.”
“You still love me, though. Admit it.”
She shoved her hands in the pockets of her robe to conceal their trembling. “Sometimes love is not enough. Ten years ago I might have thought it was. But I know better now.”
He was silent, his expression resigned, regretful. “You think I’m going to leave you again, don’t you?”
She wanted to deny his words but she couldn’t. Until this moment she hadn’t realized just how afraid she was that he would do exactly that.
Her silence spoke far more loudly than words. He nodded. “Okay. I won’t pressure you, Cassie. I’ll wait. We have the rest of our lives.”
She wanted so fiercely to believe him.
But still she cowered.
CHAPTER 10
The nervous jitters fluttering through her before the Independence Day parade nearly a week earlier seemed like tiny rippling waves in a spring breeze compared to this tidal wave of terror.
Cassie shifted in the leather passenger seat of Zack’s new truck, adjusted her seat belt, tried to find a comfortable spot for her trembling hands.
Everything’s going to be fine, she assured herself, trying hard not to give in to the fierce urge to gnaw her lip to shreds.
“You okay?” Zack asked, with such calm serenity she wanted to punch him. Hard.
Just dandy. She blew out a breath. “No. No, I’m not okay.”
He sent her a reassuring smile. “Relax. Everything will be fine. We’ll all try to get along.”
“Right. Relax. You spent maybe six months with my brothers and that was ten years ago. I’ve lived with them my entire life. I know exactly what they’re like. Everything is not going to be fine.”
They were on their way to Sunday dinner at the Diamond Harte, and she wouldn’t have been more terrified if she were standing barefoot in a nest full of rattlers.
The whole thing had been her idea, she was chagrined to admit. She wasn’t sure what kind of evil demon had planted this seed in her head, but she had blurted out the invitation a few days before when she had been lying in his arms, sated and relaxed.
They had both been spending a lot of time in that condition in the last week. Not that she had any regrets. It had been incredible, far better than her memories of before. They laughed together, they talked together, they did everything but broach the subject of the future.
Friday was supposed to have been her last day at the Lost Creek under the terms of their agreement, but neither of them had given it much thought, too wrapped up in rediscovering each other.
“Do you want to forget it?” Zack asked her now. “I could just drop you off and make myself scarce for a couple hours if you want me to.”
She blew out a breath. Matt and Jesse both knew she was bringing Zack to dinner. She had called them the day before to warn them. It wouldn’t have been fair to just spring it on them out of the blue.
They knew she was seeing him again, and neither was happy about it. She winced remembering their identical, very vocal reactions to the news when she had called them.
But she knew if she and Zack had any future at all—that future she didn’t want to think about—they had to confront the past first.
“No,” she answered firmly. “We’re going to have to do this eventually. We can’t keep hiding out from them like we’re holed up in Robber’s Roost waiting for the posse to catch up to us. One of these days my brothers are going to see that I’m all grown up and can live my own life. Make my own decisions.”
“How bad can it be?” He grinned. “I’ll let them each punch me around a few times—I figure I deserve at least that much for breaking their baby sister’s heart—then we’ll all have a beer and move on.”
She slugged his shoulder, more for the cocky grin than his words. “Don’t even joke about it. That’s exactly what I’m afraid of. I’m fairly fond of that pretty face of yours. I’d hate to see my obstinate brothers mess it up.”
He grabbed her hand. “Don’t worry about your brothers, I can hold my own. Physically or otherwise.” He kissed the fingers he held. “Everything is going to be fine, Cass. Just watch.”
If she closed her eyes, she could almost believe him.
* * *
The Diamond Harte was exactly as he remembered it—big and sprawling and as brightly polished as a prize rodeo buckle.
Of all the ranches he’d seen in the years his father had dragged him around like a worn-out saddle, the Harte ranch stood out in his memory as one of the cleanest, most efficient operations he’d ever had the pleasure of working.
They pulled up in front of the ranch house, a massive stone and log structure that had always intimidated him a little. Immediately two little dynamos—a redhead and a tiny brunette with long dark hair—hopped down from a swing on the front porch and rushed to their vehicle.
Before he could play the gentleman and open the passenger door for Cassie, they did it for him, all but climbing onto her lap.
“Aunt Cassie! It’s been forever since we’ve seen you!” the darker one exclaimed. He looked closer at her and immediately saw Melanie Harte’s silvery-gray eyes looking back at him. This one must be Lucy.
“I know, sweetheart. I’m sorry I didn’t make it last week for dinner. I’ve been really busy at work and with…with things.”
“Guess what? Maisy had kittens. They’re all black-and-white except one that has ginger stripes. Do you want to see them?”
She laughed. “I will later, okay.” She gestured toward him. “Zack, these beautiful creatures are my nieces, Lucy and Dylan. Lucy, Dylan, this is Zack Slater. A friend of mine.”
He smiled. “Hi, ladies.”
Instantly the girls’ enthusiasm switched off like a burned-out bulb. The happy welcome in their eyes faded, and they nodded politely to him, their faces stiff.
Obviously, they had heard about the evil Zack Slater who had blown back into town to ruin their beloved aunt’s life once again.
If he couldn’t win over a couple of ten-year-olds, he was in serious trouble with the rest of her family. He was racking his brain trying to come up with something harmless and friendly to say when Cassie beat him to it.
“Where is everybody?”
“Mom and Sarah are in the kitchen,” Lucy said. “Dad’s checking on one of the horses down at the barn, and Jesse’s not here yet. He had some stuff to do at the police station and said he’d be a little late.”
Cassie lifted an eyebrow. “On Sunday?”
“Sarah said he was waiting for a fax or something. She said it was something real important.”
Zack pulled their contribution from behind the seat—a heavy, cast-iron Dutch oven filled with the makings for Cassie’s world-famous blueberry cobbler and a huge plastic container loaded with pasta salad—then he followed her up the porch steps and into the ranch house.
Inside, he heard the low, musical murmur of women’s voices as they neared the kitchen but it stopped in midnote when they walked into the big, airy room.
One woman stood at the professional stove stirring something while the other sat at the table husking corn-cobs. Their eyes turned wary, the way the girls’ had, when they saw him.
Beside Zack Cassie fidgeted and cleared her throat. “Sorry we’re a little late.”
&
nbsp; “You’re fine. Matt hasn’t even started the charcoal for the steaks yet,” the shorter of the two women said.
With a nervous smile Cassie introduced him to the women. Ellie Harte, Matt’s new wife, was an older version of her daughter, small and slender with auburn hair and sparkling green eyes. Sarah, who was apparently brave enough to be willing to marry wild, reckless Jesse Harte, was tall and willowy with a long sweep of wheat-colored hair.
Their expressions were polite and curious but far from friendly. Unless he found a way to break the ice, he could see they were all in for a long, awkward afternoon.
“What can I do to help?” he asked as Cassie moved containers around in the big refrigerator to make room for her salad. “I can fire up the charcoal if you’d like.”
“Matt gets a little territorial when it comes to his barbecue,” Ellie said.
Then he was probably real testy about breaking bread with the man he thought had taken his wife. Zack winced. Maybe Cassie was right to be so nervous. Maybe they should have put this off a little longer.
No. There was no sense in waiting. He owed Matt an explanation and an apology and he might as well get it over with. Not here at the house, though. If the man wanted to take a swing at him, he wouldn’t do it in front of the nervous eyes of the women and Zack didn’t want to deprive him of the chance. He figured he owed him that, as well.
“I think I’ll just take a stroll around and see how much the ranch has changed in the past ten years.”
“I’ll come with you,” Cassie offered.
He shook his head. “Why don’t you stay and visit? I’d rather go alone.”
She sent him a searching look, then nodded and squeezed his hand in gratitude or for luck, he wasn’t certain.
He found Matt Harte with his elbows resting on the split rail of a corral fence watching a filly canter around inside.
Cassie’s oldest brother, the man who had raised her from the age of twelve, narrowed his gaze as Zack approached but said nothing, waiting for him to make the first move.
He had always liked and respected Matt Harte. The man had nerves of steel and the best natural horse instincts of anybody Zack had ever met. It didn’t surprise him at all that in the past ten years the Diamond Harte had become world-renowned for raising and training champion cutters.
That didn’t make what he had to do any easier.
He joined Matt at the fence. “She’s a pretty little thing, isn’t she?” he murmured, nodding toward the filly.
“Yeah. She’s shaping up to be a real goer. I thought her gait was a little off this morning but she looks like she’s fine now. Ellie said as much but I had to check for myself. I guess I should listen to my vet more often.”
They lapsed into an awkward silence. Zack didn’t have the first clue where to begin.
“I know you don’t want me here,” he finally said.
Matt turned around and leaned against the fence, elbows propped on the rail and his expression shuttered. “If I had my way, you’d just ride right on back out of town the way you came.”
“I’m not going to do that.”
He received only a grunt in return and sighed. This was much harder than he’d expected. “Look, you can think whatever you want about me for walking out on your sister. You couldn’t think any worse of me than I do of myself for that. But I didn’t leave with Melanie. I swear it.”
Matt gave him a sidelong glance as if testing his sincerity. “So you say. But you still left.”
He nodded. “I had my reasons. I thought they were good ones at the time.”
“And now?”
“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I don’t think I was ready to be the kind of man Cassie deserves.”
“And I’m supposed to believe everything’s different now? That you’re not going to get itchy feet in a few days or a few weeks and walk away from her again?”
“To be blunt, Harte, it really doesn’t matter what you believe. Just what she believes.”
Matt muttered a pungent oath. “I’m not going to let you break her heart again. She grieved over you for a long time. Too damn long. And I know she blamed herself that Melanie ran off and left me with Lucy so tiny.”
His chest ached at the words. “I owe Cassie more apologies than I can ever give for hurting her. I’d like to spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to her. And I’m also sorry I betrayed your trust in me. You were a man I liked and respected. Even if I hadn’t been engaged to Cassie, for that reason alone I never would have touched your wife.”
He paused. “I drove out of town alone ten years ago, Harte. I know you don’t believe me and there’s not a damn thing I can do to prove it, but it’s God’s honest truth.”
A muscle worked in the other man’s cheek as he gazed at the ranch house. “You’re right. I’ll never really know if Melanie left with you or not. It doesn’t really matter. If not you, she would have latched on to some other saddle bum to take her anywhere but here. All I know is she walked away and never looked back. Just like you did.”
Although he felt about as uncomfortable as a short-tailed bull in fly season talking about this with another man—and Cassie’s brother to boot—he plunged forward. “I love your sister. I never stopped loving her in all these years. I hope as a recently married man maybe you can understand a little about that.”
He paused, feeling his ears redden while Matt appeared to become suddenly fascinated with something on his boots. “I want to marry her,” he went on gamely. “But I won’t come between her and her family. You and Jesse mean too much to her.”
If Matt was surprised by that, he didn’t show his hand.
“I know the past is always going to be there between the two of us. Maybe you’re always going to wonder if I’m one of the men who messed with your wife. I can swear up and down that I didn’t, but if you don’t think you can get beyond that, do you think you can just pretend, for Cassie’s sake? Hate me all you want on your own time. But can we at least try to be polite to each other around her?”
The other man was silent for several moments then he shrugged. “Let’s see how you treat her first. Now what’s this I hear about you running a spread near Durango? Cattle or horses?”
Zack breathed out a sigh of relief. He couldn’t exactly say Matt had welcomed him back with open arms. But he hadn’t shoved his face in the dirt, either.
“Cattle,” he answered. “Only a couple hundred head. It’s beautiful country there but not as beautiful as Star Valley.”
As the conversation shifted from women to the far more comfortable topic of ranching, he relaxed a little.
One brother down, one to go.
* * *
With her stomach still snarled into knots, Cassie stood on the wide flagstone patio watching Zack and Matt leaning against the corral fence, deep in conversation. If only they were a little closer, she might be able to read their lips.
“What do you think they’re talking about?” she asked Ellie.
Her sister-in-law shaded her eyes with her hand to follow Cassie’s gaze. “I don’t know. But at least nobody’s throwing punches yet.”
“It’s early in the game,” Sarah put in. “Wait until Jesse shows up.”
Cassie groaned. “You two are not helping.”
The quiet, pretty schoolteacher who had captured Jesse’s wild heart was immediately apologetic. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I was only joking. For what it’s worth, Matt has too much control to punch anyone, and I made Jesse promise to behave himself. Everything will be fine.”
Why did everybody else seem to think that but her? She huffed out a breath. “So, um, what do you think?” she asked, anxious for her friends’ opinion.
“About what?” Ellie asked, her eyes dark green with teasing laughter.
“About him.” she said impatiently. “Zack.”
“He seems very polite,” Sarah offered.
“He must have plenty of sand in his gut to walk right out first thing
and face Matt,” Ellie added.
Sarah cocked her head, her expression thoughtful as she gazed at the pasture where the two men stood admiring the horses. “And I have to admit, I can see why a woman might find him moderately attractive,” she said.
Ellie snorted. “Moderately attractive. Right. That’s like saying Matt is moderately stubborn. The man’s beautiful. Movie-star gorgeous, Cass.”
“He is, isn’t he?” She smiled as the tremors in her stomach changed from nerves to that familiar achy awareness.
After a moment Ellie touched her arm, her green eyes worried. “But gorgeous and good for you aren’t the same thing at all. Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
Did she? No. She was still scared to death whenever she thought about the future, but she was beginning to feel the first fledgling stirs of hope.
“I still love him,” she said simply. “I never stopped.”
Ellie studied her, that anxious look still on her face, then it faded away as she smiled. “Then that’s good enough for me.”
“Me, too,” Sarah piped in, with uncharacteristically poor grammar but with a sincerity that brought tears to Cassie’s eyes.
“Thank you. Both of you.” On impulse, she hugged them both, grateful once more to fate for handing her such wonderful sisters and friends—and that her brothers had been smart enough to snatch them up.
“Just be careful,” Ellie murmured.
Oh, it was far too late for that, she thought. She was way beyond careful. When she stepped away from the embrace, she decided her curiosity couldn’t wait any longer “I think I’ll just go see for myself what they’re talking about.”
“Tell your brother to get up here and start the coals, or it will be midnight before we eat.”
She hummed a little as she walked down to the corral, her heart suddenly much lighter than it had been driving to the ranch. Maybe Zack was right. Maybe everything would be fine, after all.
When she reached the men, Zack’s smile of greeting warmed her to her toes. She slipped her hand into his and was met with a look of surprise, then deep pleasure at her gesture that told him she wouldn’t hide their relationship behind her fear.
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