by Ford, Lizzy
Like four years ago.
Morgan pushed her fear away. She’d learned to manage it, but she couldn’t stop it or the urge to run to her room, lock the door and take two hundred showers. Sometimes, she still felt his hands on her, and it made her feel sick. Dirty. Disgusted.
Only Connor had believed her. She’d never trust anyone but him, and she would never deserve someone as good looking as Beck. Even if she got him, how was she ever going to tell a boyfriend what happened? How did she make someone understand that other girls her age were having sex, but she may never be ready for that?
“Yeah, well, you’re wrong,” she told him, withdrawing from her dark thoughts.
“Did something bad happen to you?” he asked.
She looked up, startled.
“Or to Connor?”
“It’s none of your business,” she said.
“If you ever need to talk …”
“I don’t.”
“Morgan, give me something to work with here,” he said. There was no sign of impatience or anger in his voice, nothing but firm determination.
She hesitated. “Okay, something bad happened to someone around this time of year. Every year, I think about it, and it bothers me. Once the new year starts, I’m fine.”
Beck nodded slowly.
“It has nothing to do with this place,” she said, glancing around.
“So, you don’t hate it here?”
“No.”
“Do you want to stay?”
Morgan wasn’t certain how to answer. She wanted to escape. She was purposely not getting attached to anyone or anything, because she would be gone in two weeks, maybe to Hawaii or someplace warm.
“I’d like you to stay,” Beck added with a wink. “Not flirting. Just saying.”
Talking to him flustered her. Morgan wasn’t about to let herself fall for any guy, even the hottest one she ever saw, who was for some reason, interested in talking to her and trying to help her stay in this school.
Probably because he had to be, she reasoned. He was her appointed mentor.
“I’ll try harder this week,” she said. She didn’t want to, but she had to give them something, or they’d call her father.
There was no way she was ever going back to New York or her father’s house. She just had to make it two weeks here. Then, when she turned eighteen, she was gone. “Every time I meet a beautiful girl, she’s got a backpack full of secrets,” Beck said with a shake of his head.
It was hard to stay mad at him, like she could Connor. Beck’s disarming smile and gentle flirting – along with the unusually strong calming effect of his earth magick – made her want to relax and give this place an honest try. If for no other reason, then because she sorta almost liked him.
But there was no way he would like her. She’d heard people talk about the girls he dated, and she definitely wasn’t a model. Or a blonde. Or beautiful. She was … Morgan, and no guy yet had ever risked making her brother angry to try to ask her out. She couldn’t be pretty or worth knowing, if no one even tried! The fact that Connor wasn’t there now – standing between her and Beck calling her beautiful – was almost freaking her out. Now that no one stood in the way, she didn’t quite know how to act. Fortunately, it wasn’t possible that Beck was at all serious in flirting with her.
“You have secrets, too,” she pointed out.
“Mine won’t get me kicked out of school.”
“Omigod! I get the point. I’ll be a good student for a couple of weeks.”
“And then … everything will just magically be okay?” he asked.
“Yes.”
It was his turn to cross his arms and study her pensively. Morgan refused to look away, not about to let him know there was more to her plan.
“Yeah, I don’t believe that at all,” he said at last. “Sorry.”
“Well, I do. Will you at least agree not to call my parents for two weeks, and I’ll agree to try harder?” she asked.
“Ultimately, it’s up to Amber, but I’ll let her know.”
Morgan didn’t like that answer. She frowned at him and planted her hands on her hips, ready to give him an earful, like she did Connor when he was being a jerk.
“Uh oh,” Beck said. “I can see it on your face. Let’s just chill, okay? It’s hard enough for me to keep so far away when your magick is pinging around.”
“It doesn’t ping around!”
“I’m not picking a fight. I promise.” Beck laughed. “Don’t set my shoes on fire or anything.”
His teal eyes were twinkling, his laugh warm. She wondered how bad of a secret he had, if he was able to be so genuinely happy. Confident. The opposite of how she felt most of the time.
“Okay. So you’ll talk to Amber?” she asked.
“I will.”
“To help me, not get me kicked out sooner?”
“Trust me, woman.” Beck grinned.
“Yeah, that’s not happening.” She shook her head and turned away, retreating towards the steps. “I’ll see you later.” Was he going to help her out or not? She wasn’t certain. He seemed genuine, but people always disappointed her. If her own family treated her the way they did, why would a complete stranger act any differently?
Morgan was halfway up the stairs when Beck spoke to her again.
“I know you’re not a fan of Christmas, but the light display along the river is epic. I’ll probably head down that way this evening, if you want to come,” he offered.
Surprised, she paused and twisted to eye him. He flashed a wide smile, lingering at the bottom of the stairwell. She couldn’t figure him out: he wasn’t willing to move any closer than two meters from her and yet did he just ask her out?
“Don’t sic your brother on me,” he joked.
“No, I don’t want to go,” she snapped. “I don’t need him to defend me, and he definitely isn’t in charge of my life! If you’re afraid to talk to me without his permission, then I don’t want anything to do with you.” She left him and went to her room, hoping she was done with meddling brothers and strangers for the day.
She didn’t entirely know where the tirade came from, except that she was fed up with people controlling her life. Connor meant well, but he was always interfering. The idea that even Beck was afraid to defy her brother to talk to her made her angrier.
She threw herself down on her bed. Her anger settled in the quiet of her room, and she contemplated their exchange.
From everything she heard about him, she wasn’t his type. Which meant, he probably wanted them to go as friends. Then why tell her that she was beautiful?
Unless he was one of the guys Connor always warned her about. They flirted with everyone and slept around then moved on. She didn’t get that sense from Beck; then again, no one ever asked her out, so how would she know? Maybe that was the real sign: if someone actually asked her out, there had to be something wrong with him.
“That’s it,” she said, melancholy descending over her.
Beck would turn out to be like all the others.
During times like these, she often tried to imagine what the perfect guy was like. He’d look like Beck, but not be afraid of her temper or her brother’s three black belts. Oh, and he’d like animals and nature, because she hated to be embarrassed. And he’d know never to try to tie her down; like dancing flames, she loved her freedom. He wouldn’t make fun of the freckles across her nose or call her carrot-top or any of the other horrible names she grew up with, and he’d be understanding when she told him about … The Incident. She doubted she’d ever be able to trust anyone else enough to tell them what happened.
He’d listen then tell her she was beautiful. Like Beck did. Only, the perfect guy would mean it.
Morgan sighed and rolled onto her belly. The perfect guy didn’t exist.
She pulled the rock out of her pocket. It was small, smooth and black. It was always cold. She had tried to heat it up with her fire magick, without success. Her mother gave it to her when she turne
d seventeen and swore her to secrecy, claiming it was an heirloom that had been in their family for many generations. Somehow, her uncle knew about it, probably through her father. There was a time when her parents were happy together; she remembered it fondly.
As usual, everything fell a part. Her mother gave her the stone, and her uncle and father refused to let her come to the school, unless she agreed to place the stone in the heart of Light, where they said it belonged.
It gave her the creeps. Sometimes, it was almost alive. She wasn’t certain how a rock could be alive, or how it could scare her. After all, it was just a rock.
A cold, black, evil rock. One that absorbed her fire magick sometimes and at other times, turned her whole room cold, even if the heater was on and her magick was trying to warm her.
A knock at her door startled her. She shoved the rock in her pocket, wary of the warnings her uncle and mother gave her about not letting anyone else know about it. She crossed to her door, expecting it to be Connor again or maybe Amber coming to tell her she was being thrown out.
Bracing herself for a lecture, she didn’t expect Beck to be in the hallway outside her door. Morgan looked up at him, suddenly wishing the two meter distance he kept in the basement was between them now instead of the two feet separating them.
“What?” she asked when he simply stared at her.
“Tonight or tomorrow?”
“Tonight or tomorrow what?”
“We’re going to the light display.”
Morgan folded her arms across her chest. “You asked my brother, didn’t you?”
“Nope. You’re right. You’re old enough to decide for yourself,” he said, smiling.
“What makes you think I want to go at all?”
“I’m Beck,” he said, motioning to himself. “Have you met me? I’m awesome.”
She almost smiled. It was too easy to feel comfortable around him. Whereas Connor’s water magick made him too serious, Beck’s earth magick was playful, unlike the intensity of her fire magick.
“So, tonight or tomorrow night? A date with this guy?”
Date. He was asking her out, which meant ...
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked, perplexed.
“Nothing, aside from the usual.”
“Hmmm.”
“I’ll bring cookies.”
Morgan considered for a moment longer, until a flash of fear went through her. She had no idea how to act on a date. She had so many secrets, and what if he tried to hold her hand or kiss her and she freaked out? Worse, what if she actually ended up liking him? He was already the hottest guy she’d ever met, and he was interested in her.
“I’ll think about it,” she said.
He looked surprised.
She closed the door and leaned against it. Fire magick danced in her blood. When her excitement wore off, she began to realize something else. Beck had asked her directly instead of talking to her brother. He called her beautiful and hadn’t made fun of her freckles or red hair.
Thus far, he was going down the list of things she wanted in a perfect guy. Instead of being happy about it, she was angry again. Not him. Not now.
The dorm room felt too restrictive suddenly, and she snatched her coat to go outside for air. She didn’t like the cold, but being confined was even worse. Irritable, Morgan left the main schoolhouse. Rather than see all the happy students decorating the Christmas tree, she walked down the long, gravel driveway leading to the road.
Trees flung snow off in a sudden wind, and it swirled around her for a long moment. Morgan froze in place, watching the whirlwind in fascination. It went on too long to be anything other than magick. After a moment, the snow froze in midair then dropped to the ground, forming a ring of white around her.
She looked around, curious to see what caused the whirlwind. From the few classes she paid attention to, it was probably an earth or air student who caused the whirlwind. But she saw no one at all around her.
A branch snapped from somewhere within the forest, and she whirled in time to see what looked like someone with auburn hair ducking behind a tree. Morgan hesitated to follow, until the trees in front of her bent their branches to the ground. They made sweeping motions to push away the snow and create a pathway.
She smiled at the curious sight and entered the forest. The path wound through trees, shallow pits and small hills before it finally just stopped. Morgan shivered in the cold forest air. She cupped her hands and drew a fire. The flames burned purple today, and the warmth crept from her palms into her arms and spread throughout her body.
You use your magick well.
Morgan’s eyes flew up. Had someone spoken to her? Or did she imagine it?
Fire is a powerful element. Intense. Primal. Compassionate.
She turned and gave a startled cry at the huge creature that stood before her. It was ugly and furry, covered with hair the same hue as hers.
“If you get too close, I’ll set you on fire!” she warned.
The creature made a strange sound. A laugh? It sat down on a log and held up its hands, as if to say it meant no harm. Seated, it wasn’t nearly as huge or threatening. Morgan waited for it to say something else, not fully convinced it really was speaking to her. Something Beck said clicked.
“Are you Beck’s bigfoot?” she asked finally.
Beck’s bigfoot? I suppose so.
“He lets you wander around the forest scaring girls?”
The creature laughed, a cross between a guffaw and a chortle.
“In New York, all pets have to wear collars.”
Pets! The bigfoot was laughing so hard, there were tears in its eyes.
“I guess, if you escaped or something, I can take you back,” she offered, unsure what was going on that Beck’s bigfoot just happened across her.
I am not lost, child, he said, when he regained his composure. The forest brought you to me, and I’m not a pet!
“Oh.”
I live in the forest. I am a balancer, a creature charged with trying to help maintain the balance between Light and Dark. I communicate between the elements and humans at times, too.
“I don’t remember you being mentioned in class,” she said and then sighed. “Not that I pay attention anyway. They probably did bring you up.”
I doubt it. The instructors and Masters know me; normal students have no need to.
“Then why are you talking to me?”
Because you’re special. He laughed.
“That’s not necessarily a good thing,” she responded glumly.
What brings you to my forest?
“Just needed some air.” She shrugged.
Fire magick hates to be confined. Does it give you grief?
“I don’t think so.”
You learned to use it young.
“My mother taught me. She’s fire, too.”
Both your parents are Dark?
“Yes,” she said, regarding him curiously. “How did you know?”
The children of Dark parents are stuck between Light and Dark. There are very few instances where two Dark parents come together. It’s rare for Dark to seek a Dark mate, for most witchlings value the Light. You are stuck, too, aren’t you?
“Yes.” She withdrew the clear amulet from around her neck. Unlike the amulets of other students, hers hadn’t turned colors when she touched it. As if it were dead. “You’re saying it’s not my fault that I’m stuck?”
Of course not. You cannot help who your parents were.
Morgan frowned. “Father said it’s because I was a fire witchling like my mom, which means I’m bad.”
You cannot be born Dark. You are either born Light or caught between.
“I didn’t know that.” His reassurance left her feeling somewhat relieved. But doubtful still. There was more than her being stuck between Light and Dark; there was the incident, too, another reason her father said she was bad. “How do I get unstuck?”
Have they covered the trial you must take in your class
es?
“Probably,” she replied vaguely.
You must go through a trial and choose Light or Dark. It will be hard.
“Figures. So that’s why you’re talking to me, because I’m stuck?”
Not exactly.
She waited.
I think you are meant to help a friend of mine.
“Another fuzzy monster like you?”
He smiled. No. A hairless human like you. Beck.
“Beck?” she repeated, thinking. “Oh, from that crazy blonde chic?”
Possibly. The elements are not always clear in what they show me. But they say he is in danger of some sort, from more than one direction. There is no one else who can help him.
“Why not?”
The traits of fire complement those of earth.
“We’re not really getting along right now,” she admitted.
Maybe you can help each other adjust.
“I don’t need help.”
Those who protest the most sometimes need the most help. The traits of earth complement those of fire as well.
“Not interested. I’m leaving in two weeks, when I turn eighteen.”
You have two weeks to help him. Consider it a personal favor to his pet bigfoot, who can’t be with him all the time.
Morgan was quiet, unconvinced Beck needed the help of someone like her.
It plays a part in the trial of your brother, Sam added.
“Helping Beck does? How?”
That will be revealed in time. Just know that you can help your brother by helping Beck.
“Alright,” she said grudgingly. “I’ll protect him from the crazy blonde.”
Adhere to the Laws of Light. I do not ask you to use your magick for Dark or selfish reasons. Ever.
“I know, I know. Mom used to say the same.”
Do you listen to her?
“Most of the times.”
The creature laughed again.
“Do you have a name?”
Sam.
“I’m Morgan.” She stepped closer and held out her hand. “Nice to meet you.”
He took it and shook. His fur was soft and downy, unlike her thick, unruly red hair.
“I guess that means I have to spend time with him now, doesn’t it?” she asked with a sigh.