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For my mom, Ronnie, who hasn’t stopped encouraging, loving, and listening to me since I was a little girl. And for giving me a strong faith to hold on to when I was trying to make sense of this crazy gift.
For my husband, Larry, who picked up where Mom left off. You’ve always made me feel so unconditionally loved, special, and safe. Always and forever, hon.
For my kids, Larry and Victoria, for never questioning that Mom sees dead people. Seriously, not even a little.
For God and Spirit, because without you, there’d be no book.
Contents
Introduction: Welcome to My Life!
1Me and Spirit: A Match Made in Heaven
2Don’t Shoot the Messenger
3Who Are the Spirits on the Other Side?
4So, You Want to Connect with Souls in Heaven?
5Once You’re Dead, Then What?
6God and His Humbling Abode
7E Does Not Equal MC Hammer
8Negative Energy—Do Not Enter
9Three Not-So-Little Words: Health, Grief, and Healing
10Spirit Gets the Final Say
Afterword: A Word from My Ghost—Er, Spirit—Writer
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Welcome to My Life!
If you ask me, I have two amazing abilities: I speak to dead people, and I can walk all eleven floors of Macy’s Herald Square wearing really high heels. I realize the first skill is why you bought this book, so that’s what I’ll focus on for the next ten chapters. But before I do, there are a few important points that I want to get out of the way.
First, as I address topics related to your departed loved ones and the afterlife, know that nearly everything I understand about who we are and where we come from I owe to Spirit. This includes a lot of subjects I’d never explored before I had to write about them, but because I knew they were important to you, I offered them to Spirit. Boy, did they deliver! Another thing I did when I got stuck was to turn to a friend who helped me hone my gift. All that said, there are some specifics I either couldn’t or didn’t want to tackle (like when I talk about negative energy), so if I don’t go deep on some topics, that’s why. I also feel there’s a lot about death and the afterlife that’s unknown and open to interpretation. Many mediums are okay with saying their word is final, but I’m not like that. I only want to share what I think and feel, based on what Spirit has shown me and those I trust.
I realize that not everyone is going to believe what I’m about to say, but save yourself a mean email or “She’s a fraud!” blog post, because I’ve heard it all. People say I google to get your background information. That I throw out vague situations and then work off your reactions. That my ideas about the hereafter are wishful thinking. They say I read body language and take advantage of your vulnerability while grieving. And my all-time favorite, that I’m “bothering” the dead. Let’s just pause on this last one for a minute. Why hasn’t it ever occurred to my critics that I’m not bothering the dead, but that they’re bothering me? You think I woke up one day and thought, Ooh! I’m going to talk to dead people for the rest of my life! That’s a great career choice!? There’s more to it than you think. But I didn’t write a book to prove or defend my abilities. I did this to share what I know to be true: that there’s more to life than what’s in the physical world.
As you’ll soon find out, it took me a long time to accept my gift, but once I did, I was a pretty fast learner. I like to compare the process to putting together a jigsaw puzzle. In the beginning, it was hard for me to make sense of my abilities and fit the pieces together, but once I got started on the framework, filling in the rest of it was easy. I always had all the parts to complete the picture; I just had to learn how to make them work together. I believe that the same way some people are natural-born musicians or intellects, it’s in my DNA to speak to Spirit. Would I have rather been a concert pianist or cured cancer? Of course, but what are you gonna do.
Learning to channel has come with its benefits. It’s been a way for me to ease some of my chronic anxieties that were linked to Spirit, but more than anything, it’s brought countless people joy and healing, which is the most rewarding part. It’s helped them believe in an afterlife, trust that their loved ones are safe and at peace, and shown them that those souls are guiding, encouraging, and loving them from the Other Side. It’s given clients proof that the unexplainable things they sense and feel after a loved one dies are real, and that they’re not nuts for thinking so. They even tell me they’re less afraid of dying and some have a renewed faith in God. Most important, they begin to embrace life when all they knew before was grief.
None of these amazing outcomes is a coincidence, since I choose to use my abilities to deliver healing messages from souls that walk in God’s white light. I believe that my intuition is a spiritual gift, because while I don’t say this on my TV show, Long Island Medium, I accepted my abilities directly from God—who, in so many words, said that I have it for a reason. He also told me not to question them, but to trust that He would love, guide, and protect me always, so that’s what I do. By the way, I believe that we are all connected to God, who is unconditional love, and it’s that love which links us to our family and friends in the afterlife, because we all come from His energy. Since I was raised Catholic, I call this energy God, but if you want to call Him a Higher Power or Yahweh, go right ahead. He’s a God of many names, but I feel there’s only one.
Being a psychic medium doesn’t always feel like a blessing, but I know it is. While the TV show has helped me put my kids through college, I’ve also lost friends over my abilities. What’s more, I’ve met my share of people who want to hang out only so I can tell them what their dead grandparents are up to. And now that I’m the “Long Island Medium,” forget it. Suddenly, everybody is a cousin. But I feel that we’re all in this world to fulfill a purpose, and I believe that connecting people to their departed loved ones is part of my soul’s journey. I’m glad I figured that out, because for a few years there, I really thought it might have been shoe shopping.
1
Me and Spirit: A Match Made in Heaven
I wasn’t born in the back of some gypsy wagon, and I didn’t grow up reading fortunes on the Bayou. Listen, the only crystals on me are the Swarovski ones covering my Louboutins. I may not be your idea of a “typical” medium, but dead people don’t care. They’ve been bugging me to deliver their messages since I was a child, and that’s what I feel compelled and blessed to do.
I grew up on Long Island in a town called Hicksville, with my mom, dad, and younger brother, Michael. Mom was a bookkeeper and my dad was the public works supervisor for Nassau County. We were extremely close and still are. I was actually raised for most of my life in the house next door to the one I live in now. We have a gate in the back that connects our two yards, and Dad likes to use it so he can futz around in both our tomato gardens. When people come for readings, they sit at my dining room
table, which looks out onto the back. I always say, “If you see someone out there, it’s not a dead person walking around. It’s just my dad!”
Growing up, I had the most loving, happy, and seemingly normal childhood. I was on a traveling soccer team and local bowling league. I loved playing with my dolls’ hair—I always thought I’d be a hairdresser, go figure. I had nice friends, got good grades, and spent a lot of free time with my family. I was always with my cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. On Thursdays, we’d have spaghetti and meatballs at Nanny and Pop’s house; on Saturdays, I’d paint ceramics with Auntie G; and on Sundays, our whole extended family would go to Gram and Gramp’s house after church to spend the afternoon eating, laughing, and telling stories.
It was like the Long Island Italian version of Leave It to Beaver, but with a twist that literally kept us all up at night. I used to have the most frightening dreams, which made no sense given that my days were so carefree. These were actually my first memories of seeing, feeling, and hearing Spirit, though I didn’t know that’s what was happening. My first vivid experience happened when I was just four years old. At the time, we lived in my dad’s childhood home, which is right near the Hicksville Gregory Museum, a former 1915 courthouse that also had jail cells for prisoners in it. Some people think old buildings like prisons, with their history of pain and suffering, can hold on to Spirit. What a place for me of all people to grow up around! Anyway, I’d have a recurring dream where, from a window on the second floor of our house, I’d watch a man pace on the sidewalk out front. He’d chant my name, Theresa Brigandi, Theresa Brigandi, Theresa Brigandi . . . over, and over, and over again. Can you imagine how scary that was to a freaking four-year-old? I never saw the man’s face, but he was always hunched over and carrying a stick with a bandanna sack on the end. He wore ragged clothes and looked like a hobo.
Spirit later told me that this dream was actually a visitation, and I now believe this “man” to be one of my spirit guides for that time in my life. This doesn’t mean the spirit guide is literally a bum. It’s more like those Bible stories where people invite in the poor, and then later find out the person’s an angel. I now believe a hobo is the unassuming image that my guide took so that I’d understand the Sunday school reference and feel okay when he called my name. I was raised Roman Catholic and still practice this today, so I think my guide presented himself through my frame of reference, a little like how Spirit shows me signs and symbols during a reading now. They do it in a way that makes sense to me, so that it’s easy for me to interpret the message.
When I was four, a hobo equaled a gentle, godly man—at least when I was awake. At night, seeing, hearing, and sensing one made me cry out like I was being violently attacked. Again, I don’t think I was experiencing negative Spirit, and I wasn’t dreaming that Spirit pushed me around or anything; the dreams themselves weren’t “bad.” I was terrified because I’d feel Spirit’s energy, while seeing and hearing them talk to me, in this alarmingly real and personal way.
My inconsolable screams rattled my family more than what caused them, and my social life became limited. I couldn’t go to slumber parties or sleep at my grandmother’s house without wondering what I’d feel next. I didn’t feel safe anywhere but at home, and even that wasn’t a given. Besides the hobo, I also saw my great-grandmother on my mom’s side of the family. She’d died four years before I was born, and I didn’t realize who it was until much later when I saw a picture of her. But I’ll never forget her standing at the foot of my bed—she was short with dark hair and wearing a housedress. I’d scream like a crazy person when I saw her too. Poor lady was no three-headed monster, though I sure reacted like she was!
In the morning, I’d forget most of these night terrors or how long they went on. I’m told they’d pass when my mom or dad would turn on the light and rush into the room. So did this make Spirit leave? I don’t know. But after a while, Mom made up a prayer to help me keep Spirit at arm’s length. It went, “Dear God, please keep me safe through the night. Bless . . .”—and then I’d name all the people in our lives, and those in Heaven. And wouldn’t you know, every time I said that prayer before bed, I’d sleep soundly, and so would my parents. I continued this when we eventually moved into our new home, the one my parents live in now, though I always kept the hall light on.
Even when I traveled with my family, I never got a break from Spirit. We took a lot of vacations together, including an annual camping trip with my grandparents for the entire summer. Most people at the site were lucky to have a tent with a Bunsen burner; we had this awesome trailer with a shower, kitchen, a screened-in porch so the bugs wouldn’t get at our food, everything. My grandmother made scrambled eggs and French toast in the mornings, and in the afternoons, we’d have bicycle races and go tire swinging into the lake. At night, we’d play pinball at the rec hall, roast marshmallows, and sing campfire songs. I was a regular Girl Scout! But no matter how much fun we had during the day, or how relaxed I felt, my night terrors would strike like they did at home. Only this time the whole area heard me! My grandparents even warned our fellow campers in advance—if you hear someone screaming bloody murder, it doesn’t mean there’s a bear or maniac on the loose! It’s just Theresa having a night terror. One time my parents wanted me to sleep with them in a tent, and I was deathly afraid of it. I felt safer in the camper, especially since I was seeing shadows against the canvas. I was so adamant about staying out that I kicked and screamed, and gave my father a fat lip. He was so mad. I was this close to knocking over the lantern and setting the whole tent on fire.
Though I handled Spirit’s appearances much better during the day, they were still a surprise. For instance, I clearly remember seeing three-dimensional people walk in front of the TV. I’d be sitting on our green tweed sofa, watching Romper Room, when a person would pass by and then fade out. One time this happened when I had a babysitter over, and I asked her if she’d just seen what I did. She said no and gave me a funny look, so I played it off. I kind of wondered if I was seeing things or had an overly active imagination, but I didn’t dwell on it. It’s like when you see a shadow out of the corner of your eye, or stare at a light too long and then watch a yellow shape float across the room—you assume that you’re just seeing things and don’t think much of it. I also remember getting a kitchen set for Easter one year as a kid, arranging my pots a certain way when I was done playing house, and when I came back to them in the morning, they were in a completely different spot. That must’ve been Spirit too. Listen, I know my brother, Michael, didn’t touch them!
Who’s to Say What’s Normal?
As I got older, I began to feel anxious and strange in my body. I couldn’t put my finger on what could be causing it. I’d say to Mom, I don’t feel right. I don’t feel like I belong. I feel different. I felt as if there was something going on that needed to be explained. One of the few places I actually felt safe and secure was in church. I even played guitar in a church folk group. God’s house was the only other home, other than my own, where I felt peaceful and comfortable in my skin. I often say that if I weren’t a medium, I could’ve been a schizophrenic or a nun. Seriously, sometimes those felt like my two most realistic options. Imagine? My parents spoiled me with so much love, but that didn’t take away from the fact that I sensed something about me was off.
Sometimes I’d ask God, Why is this happening? Why do I feel so afraid all the time? But I’d never get mad or angry at Him, or lose my beliefs. That wasn’t how I was raised. I don’t like to use the word “religious,” but I did come from a strong faith family. I was taught to say prayers at night and before every meal. My parents also had an open mind about all spirituality. It’s funny, because not all Catholics do. But to us, faith, spirituality . . . it all comes from God.
When I wasn’t at church, my anxiety could get so bad that I didn’t want to leave the house. I didn’t know when I’d sense or feel something, at any given moment of the day. I realize
d that every place I went came with a different sensation, and I sometimes felt like I was being watched. When I’d tell this to Mom, she’d sit me down and say, “Your safe place is you.” I could go anywhere, because I was my grounding force. For a long time, that mind-set worked.
Even still, I was clearly seeing and sensing things that other people weren’t. When I was out with my friends at the mall or the bowling alley, I’d ask if they saw a man walk by or heard someone call their name, because I secretly had, and they’d go, “Uh, no. What are you talking about?” Or sometimes I’d receive a message, which I’d assume was just my own random thought and not realize that it had any meaning, or that I’d even thought of anything, until it was validated later. For example, if I was on my way to the fair, I might hear a voice tell me, “Don’t eat the cotton candy.” I’d ignore it, and then a friend would tell me the cotton candy made her sick. But even then, I just assumed that I got better hunches about people and situations than maybe some friends or strangers did.
Again, I believed that I was my safe place. So seeing, hearing, and sensing something around me all the time became my normal. Doctors have always said that our bodies are built to adapt; if a feeling or experience goes on for long enough, the brain learns to disregard it, work around it, or just treat it as normal. I know now that seeing and sensing Spirit isn’t most people’s typical experience, but it was routine for me, and I didn’t have too many people disputing it. As a child, my family and friends just laughed when I’d occasionally say strange things, but never pursued the subject much further. (Mom recently joked that my abilities give a whole new meaning to when I used to say there was a monster, imaginary friend, or ghost in my room!) And for as many times as friends didn’t agree with what I’d heard or seen, I did have family who had similar experiences because they’re also sensitive. In fact, my cousin Johnny Boy used to jokingly call me and my cousin Lisa “freaks,” and nicknamed us “Para” and “Noid,” when we told him we’d see or feel things. We also used to go shopping separately and come home with the same outfits! But at the time, all Lisa and I knew was that we had unusual, shared experiences that made encounters with what we now know is Spirit just part of our lives. As for my smart-aleck cousin Johnny, he was living in my grandmother’s house ten years later and saw her standing in the hall when he was coming out of the shower. Who’s laughing now?
There's More to Life Than This: Healing Messages, Remarkable Stories, and Insight About the Other Side from the Long Island Medium Page 1