The only thing I find frustrating is when skeptics use the validation process not to demonstrate that Spirit’s around us when we need them, but that I’m a real medium. They might ask a loved one to have me mention the name of a movie or an object they’ve hidden nearby, and I rarely entertain these games. I understand where they’re coming from—you think I don’t find this ability to be a little wacky?—but I always say that even if you don’t get what I do, please respect it and withhold negative opinions or decisions about me until you’ve experienced Spirit with an open mind and heart.
Now, some signs from my library are cut-and-dry, like Sonny Bono, who’s my symbol for a person passing in a ski accident, since that’s how Sonny died. And then there are signs that have multiple meanings. Roses, for example, are my symbol of love and devotion, but the rose’s color can have different meanings. So, a red rose for me is a symbol of an anniversary, either someone’s wedding or of a passing. Yellow is my symbol for someone’s name—be it Rose, Roseanne, Rose Marie, or a name with the word “Rose” in it. If I see yellow roses and feel like they’re connected to someone special, you’re about to hear from, say, a grandmother named Rose or Spirit could be acknowledging that they knew you had yellow roses delivered to the house from someone special. A lot of times when Spirit mentions a recent event, it’s the soul’s way of saying that it was with you at the exact moment you had that experience. All of this may sound a little complicated, but it’s harder to explain than it is for me to experience, which is really all that matters, right? The amazing thing is, when you’re sitting across from me, it’s unbelievable how fast you catch on!
I created my vocabulary by assigning meanings to certain words and phrases, and then through trial and error, Spirit helped me add new ones. The more explanations I can assign to a symbol, the faster we can speak with your loved ones and the more messages I can deliver. Let’s use horses as an example. Whenever Spirit used to show me a horse, it usually meant that someone liked horses, was an equestrian, or bet the horses. But one day, I went through all the meanings with a client, and when he didn’t connect with any of them, Spirit showed me the strangest thing—an outline of New Jersey. So just like that, horses also began to symbolize the Garden State. Why? Beats me, but if it works for Spirit, it works for me. I went through the same process with oatmeal. It was always a symbol that meant someone liked to eat the gloppy cereal—obvious enough. But then once when I said that in a session, the client said no, so Spirit then made me feel like I was pacing up and down a driveway every day. I asked the woman if the deceased was very regimented, and when she said yes, Spirit established that oatmeal would now mean that the person really liked oatmeal and/or that the person liked a routine. Seems random to us, but listen, maybe Spirit thinks it takes a lot of discipline to eat a bowl of Quaker Oats!
This doesn’t mean that every new symbol that Spirit shows me makes it into my library. Sometimes images are just part of a message that you need to interpret. For instance, I was buying a new iPhone, and the district sales manager happened to be at the store. I picked up that the man’s father and father-in-law had died, since two father figures stepped forward for him. I knew one soul was his father’s, but the second could’ve been an uncle, a grandfather, an older friend. . . . So I tell the guy, “There’s a father figure with your dad, and I just saw the other straighten your tie.” I suggested that this could mean Spirit was calling him a spiffy dresser, but he quickly corrected me. He said his father-in-law actually collected ties, and he used to always tie the son-in-law’s ties for him. Stop it! Mystery solved, but here’s the thing. This story is also a good example of why I try not to interpret things for people on my own. Even though Spirit gives me hints, I can’t possibly know what something as arbitrary as a tie would mean to you.
While interpreting some signs takes guesswork, other times a cigar is just a cigar. I once asked a woman if she was pregnant with a son, because Spirit showed me a blue blanket, which is my sign for having a boy. Turns out, she was pregnant with a girl, but her husband had just put their son’s blue blanket in the dryer before I arrived and said this to validate a soul’s presence. I find that numbers are also reliably clear symbols. They connect with special dates like birthdays and anniversaries of those who’ve passed and are still in the physical world. They can also be an age. For example, if I see the number six, it could mean June, the sixth of a month, a six-year-old’s birthday . . . you get the point.
Look Who’s Talking
Not only do I use signs and symbols to communicate your message, but at the same time, Spirit “speaks” to me through a sixth sense—a kind of feeling and knowing. When I get information, it feels like incredibly strong intuition, but I never doubt or overthink it. I trust that Spirit has me say things for a reason. I simply feel and know what Spirit wants to communicate, and then I open my mouth and let it spill out. Sometimes I’ll make a connection or deliver a message when I’m not even trying. I had a client tell me her mom knew how to light up a room, and when I offhandedly said, “The belle of the ball!” the woman told me her mom’s name was Bella. I don’t know how my brain works, but I don’t think other people’s do this—at least not as often.
There are many ways that I use my sense of feeling and knowing. When dead people talk to me, often to identify themselves, they first make me feel the emotional bond that you shared with them in the physical world. I might feel “a mother energy” in the room, which could be a mom, grandmother, mother-in-law, or even an aunt who was like a mother to you. Spirit can also make me feel a situation that’s affected you somehow. If their message is about surprising news, they can make me feel the shock that you experienced during that interaction. I can physically feel how a person died too. If my throat feels restricted, it could mean someone passed from an issue related to the esophagus, choking, a hanging, or that he couldn’t express himself at the end of his life. If my mind goes blank, it means the person had Alzheimer’s or dementia, and if I feel pressure in the head, then someone died from an aneurysm or brain tumor. Sharp pains also point to different conditions. If I feel one in my side, it’s either related to a kidney or lower back issue; the pelvic area links to liver or bladder problems; and if my legs go numb, it means someone had leg swelling, or was paralyzed or an amputee. After one of my bigger shows where I channel a lot of souls, I feel like I’ve been poked and prodded all night.
Because Spirit’s energy is on a different, higher, and faster energy frequency than ours, Spirit’s words and thoughts come to me very quickly. They can also send me a lot of thoughts, feelings, and symbols at once. This tends to happen when Spirit uses a term, name, or idea I’ve never heard before, so I have a lot of clues to choose from when delivering a message. I don’t get word-for-word sentences, and I don’t have common phrases or platitudes assigned to feelings or symbols. Spirit can also speak to me at the same time that I’m asking them for clarification and talking to you. My response is the question—an intuitive reaction that doesn’t require words to be understood. This is because Spirit doesn’t talk to me from a mouth like ours, even if I see a full body apparition; ideas pass from Spirit’s soul to mine. They communicate using their thoughts and emotions, simultaneously, and we can understand each other without using language the way you and I do. For this reason, dead people from other countries can talk to me in Chinese or Russian, and I understand them perfectly, as if I have a degree in foreign languages. Once in a while Spirit whispers in my ear, but I don’t know why they bother. Nobody hears them but me!
When I’m filling in the details of Spirit’s message, a soul may speak to me by engaging one or more of my other senses. I might smell gardenias though there aren’t any in the room, or watch a series of events like a filmstrip or flip book, so I can describe how an event unfolded. Sometimes a soul overcomes all my senses so I can see, hear, feel, smell, and taste things at once. If Spirit makes me feel as if I’m holding a baby in my arms, I can feel and see the blanket a
nd smell the newborn. This is my “symbol” for when a soul held an infant at the time of its passing or right after the baby died. Spirit may also put me into a situation in my mind’s eye, while using multiple senses in ways that still surprise me. One time I did a house clearing, and a female soul didn’t want me to enter the home. I sensed that she was standoffish and wanted me to stay outside until she decided it was okay for me to enter. Then I literally felt the soul grab my arm, and the homeowner said this happens to her too. Next, Spirit placed me in a bed, in my mind, and I instinctively knew the soul inappropriately touched the woman while she was sleeping. I asked her if this kinky piece of information was true, and she said it was. I’d never heard that one before!
During a session, Spirit might talk through me with their speech and mannerisms. Without realizing it, I might make a face that someone’s brother used to make or do a quirky, recognizable dance that a person did while he or she was still in the physical world. During a live performance in Atlantic City, I walked right past a man, turned to him, and said, “Oh, hi, mamala!” The guy was floored. After the show at the meet and greet, he pulled me aside and said, “I haven’t heard that term in thirty years. My mom used to say that to me.” I have no idea what made me say this, to him no less, or what “mamala” even means. But it was important that he hear it, because that was his mom’s soul speaking through me. She’d passed three years prior.
When I deliver Spirit’s messages, I have no filter—zero, zip, none. I picture my cranium like spaghetti in a colander. My brain’s the pasta, the water is the information pouring over and through it, and then the messages come right out of the holes that are my voice, expressions, and mannerisms. I should learn to watch my mouth, though. A lot of times there’s no proper way to say the stuff Spirit tells me, so I just blurt it out. I was doing a restaurant venue of eighty people, and there was a girl there who lost her brother. I turned to her and said, “Your brother wants you to get rid of your boyfriend. He’s no good.” But get this—the boyfriend was sitting right next to her! So I announced that if I had four slashed tires at the end of the group, we’d all know who did it. The girl broke up with the guy four months later, but that’s beside the point. Or is it?
Believe me, I’m well aware that the information I’m spewing can be fast, emotional, surprising, choppy, confusing, and piecing it all together can feel overwhelming. You may also doubt it at the time or not recognize how it fits into your life. That’s why I tape all of my sessions, so that you can go over the messages at your own pace. A man once left the funniest voice mail on my answering machine: “I came to you four years ago for a reading, and you were talking about a bunch of shit that made no sense to me at the time, but it’s all happening now!” Everything Spirit says is for a reason; it may just take a few days or years for you to realize it.
Once a reading is over, I remember few specifics about it, or else my mind would be full of stories about other people’s dead loved ones, and that’s no way to live. In fact, as I retell stories for this book, I’m not using my “memory,” so to speak. Spirit mentally puts me back into the setting, using all my senses, so that I can retell the stories with as much detail as possible.
I Spy with My Little Eyes . . .
During a reading, I can also physically see Spirit. To me, they appear as see-through shadows with hard edges, as I explained earlier. So I might see the silhouette of a woman’s head, with her flipped hair, but no definitive features like eyes or a nose—unless Spirit wants to communicate something about the person’s eyes or nose, either to validate its presence or send a message about it. I also really like watching Spirit interact with a living person. I might see a soul lean forward and kiss a friend on the head, or sit in a mother’s lap. It’s such a tender expression of an ongoing relationship and bond, and of the soul’s ability to communicate with warmth and character too.
Sometimes Spirit will tell me what they look like on the Other Side. This happens a lot with children who’ve passed. Like, Spirit might show me that the soul has a smile that’s missing a tooth or has braces, which usually tells me how old the child would be in the physical world. Does this mean the soul literally has braces in Heaven or lost a tooth over there? I’m not sure. What I do know is that the way Spirit portrays itself to me is either how we remember them or how the soul wants to be remembered. Souls might also show themselves like this to talk about a specific moment, or bring comfort to the listener. Maybe the child’s sister lost a tooth or got braces, and Spirit wants her to know that it’s aware of that special milestone.
Souls are radiant figures of light on the Other Side, which may be why they sometimes appear to me as a round ball of energy coming out of a wall, before they morph into a shadow shape. But they always want me to describe them in a way that their loved ones will fondly remember them. Time is measured differently in Heaven, yet Spirit often shows me how much a soul has “grown” since it left our world. This also comes up a lot with a kid’s soul. I don’t believe the soul is physically growing or chronologically aging the way we do here, because our souls don’t have bodies in Heaven. I do get the impression that the soul is spiritually growing and advancing as a result of the lessons it’s learned here and on the Other Side. Young and growing souls who’ve passed also show me that they’re not sick anymore. A lot of times they’ll have me reference a picture where they look happy and healthy, and they’ll say that’s how they want to be remembered. They might show themselves to me as being dressed in a specific outfit to validate that it’s them, but I don’t know if they’re literally wearing these clothes on the Other Side just to hang out. Then again, some hypnotists who can regress people into past lives have said that souls may wear their favorite outfits for the fun of it!
What’s in a Message?
People come to see me for their own reasons, but they all seem to leave with more insight than they expected. Some need closure, while others want to know how a person died if it’s still unresolved. The majority come to find out if their loved ones are at peace. There are also way too many people who want to find out if their spouses are cheating. Look, if you’re seeing a medium for a second opinion on this, I bet you don’t need me or your dead mother to tell you what’s up. My hope is that you at least walk away knowing that your loved ones are still with you, that they’re willing to communicate, and that life goes on in Spirit after your physical death.
Though some people come to a reading expecting to hear from a certain person or receive a specific message, the takeaway can be completely different because Spirit tells you what you need to hear at the time, not what you want to hear. I did a reading once at a large venue, and I kept hearing the words “Bruno” and “hockey.” I asked if anyone connected with this. A man close by raised his hand and said that his name was Bruno and that he coached hockey. Perfect. He also said he’d just lost one of his players. I sensed that he was devastated, and that the boy’s death could keep him from doing what he loved. I asked if he wanted to give up coaching, and Bruno told me that after the child’s death, he really did. The boy’s soul made me tell him, “You can’t give up. Those kids love you and you treat them like your own.” A person may not know what he’ll benefit from until a reading is over, but I promise you this: it can be life changing.
During a first reading, I’ve found that Spirit likes to lay a little groundwork and heal old wounds. They might talk about the spouse you married after the person died, stuff going on in family members’ lives, or maybe details about your job. They’ll also talk about how they’re at peace if this is a reason you’re seeing a medium. They’ll basically catch up, make sure you’re okay, and let you know that they are too. If you find the session comforting or need reassurance or support at another time, you can come back for a second reading six months to a year later to talk about things that have happened since you last connected. For me, I won’t channel any sooner than that, since I feel we need to give Spirit time for their souls to spirit
ually mature on the Other Side, which helps them communicate with us better. You also need time to heal and process what you learned from the experience. During a reading I did at a restaurant, I channeled a man’s mother; it brought him so much comfort that he made an appointment to see me privately. The man hadn’t spoken to his sister in five years, and when I channeled his mom, she let him know that she knew about their friction. The man saw me again, the next year, for another session and shared that after our last one, he was able to rekindle a relationship with his sister. Now he comes once a year just to connect with his mom. He loves knowing that she’s not missing out on anything in his life, including the good rapport with his sibling.
No matter when a client comes to see me, Spirit always brings up topics, conversations, and questions that figure prominently in your life. It’s their way of telling you that they know what’s going on, and that they’re always with you, supporting you, and interceding for you. They’re aware of what you’ve been crying, laughing, stressing, and thinking about—but unless there’s an urgent message related to these topics, Spirit can feel that it’s enough to simply recognize the issue when I channel them. During a private reading once, Spirit showed me my symbol for somebody altering a piece of jewelry and told me that it might be changing hands. I asked the woman if she’d redesigned an heirloom to give away, and she said that she’d considered redoing an old bracelet to give to her daughter when she got married. In this case, Spirit was simply acknowledging that they knew about the gift. That’s it. The soul wasn’t giving its opinion on the setting or whether the present was a generous idea. Some people project their own thoughts, feelings, hesitations, and fears onto Spirit’s messages, and it can distort the meaning. If your dead grandmother wants you to know that she doesn’t like your new necklace, remembrance tattoo, or newly renovated house, believe me, she will say that.
There's More to Life Than This: Healing Messages, Remarkable Stories, and Insight About the Other Side from the Long Island Medium Page 4