Just as mediums connect with Spirit in different ways, you do too. When people experience Spirit differently, it’s because of what we’re able to see and feel, not because of how Spirit chooses to communicate with that person. This is why a husband can see Spirit at the end of the bed, but his wife, right beside him, cannot. I had a client say to me, “My sister dreams of my brother, so that must mean he’s not with me or visiting me.” But dreams were simply the way that this one sister connected with Spirit. The client’s brother may have been trying to reach her through butterflies or the sudden smell of his cologne, and either she’d missed the signs because she was stuck on dreaming, or she hadn’t opened up yet in a way that he could reach her. A lot of people also ask me if you should set up a system with your loved ones while they’re still alive—Come back as a frog! Move the frames in our house!—and I think that’s a cute idea. But if the soul can’t do that, or you don’t interpret signs that way, you’re out of luck if it never happens.
The thing is, Spirit always shows up on its own. You just need to trust your instincts to know what’s unusual and meaningful, and what’s not. At a venue in Atlanta, I channeled a woman’s son who was in a car accident. She was raw, devastated, and angry. The boy’s soul had me ask if his mom ever finds white feathers in odd places, and when she said she did, a tiny piece of white tissue confetti paper floated down from the ceiling. Nobody knew where it came from; she wasn’t even seated under the balcony! We captured the whole thing on camera too. But imagine if the woman were so stuck on feathers that she dismissed this feather-like object altogether? She’d have ignored a spectacular moment that let her know that her son was listening to her and always beside her, especially when she was grieving in such a sensitive and distressing way.
I particularly love when Spirit sends signs that make us laugh. I know a woman who lost her husband to cancer at a young age. A year later, she was in Miami with her friends during a much-needed girls’ weekend. They were lying on the beach, when she began talking about her mother-in-law. She was saying that it had been a hard relationship to negotiate without her spouse, since each woman dealt with losing the son/husband differently. Well, right in the middle of this, a seagull pooped on the wife’s arm. I have a hunch it was her husband’s soul telling her, Stop gossiping about my mom, already!
Oh, here’s something else you should know: when Spirit gives you a sign, it doesn’t mean that the soul is that sign—that is, the husband’s soul was not the seagull (or the poop). Spirit uses these objects to get your attention and let you know they’re around. When Pat’s father passed, she’d never seen a cardinal on her property in thirty years. Her dad died in mid-February, and within a few weeks the first cardinal presented itself as she was helping her mom into the car to go to church. There were no leaves on the trees yet, but it started chirping loudly right on a branch above her. After that, she saw a cardinal at her house, or wherever she was, on a daily basis. There was one on her windowsill, the patio, at the graveyard on Easter . . . Her mom passed away the following June, and don’t you know, a female cardinal began accompanying the male almost immediately? The two would sit together in a tree in her yard. How incredible is that? But Pat’s parents aren’t the lovebirds she saw. Their souls were using the cardinals to bring her peace.
Beyond birds, insects are also common signs—mostly pretty butterflies, dragonflies, or ladybugs that make you think, Aww. I miss you too, Cousin Sarah! And then there’s my Nanny, who comes to my family as a big, fat, ugly housefly with hair sticking out all over—you know, those enormous ones you see maybe twice a year. Except I see them all the time, no matter where I am or what season it is. The way I interpret Nanny coming back as a fat fly is that she was Italian, and when she died, she was seventy-six pounds; but as this insect, she’s plump and letting it all hang out. It also means she can zip around us all she wants! Nanny died in January and though most houseflies live during warmer months, Nanny’s flies thrive year-round. On the day she passed, I remember seeing the fly on a lamp in the house, which I found strange. Then right after, I saw a huge fly at the funeral home, then I saw one in my bathroom, and on it went. Once I went to a nerve-racking meeting on the twentieth floor of a New York City skyscraper and a huge fly started buzzing in my face. The windows didn’t open, so how did the fly get up there? Did it take the elevator? I even saw Nanny during my very first meeting for this book. She was in the mirror behind my cowriter Kristina while we were having lunch!
Since I’ve established that Nanny’s an enormous fly, she shows up all the time for support, especially for the bigger milestones. The funniest story about this happened after I gave birth to my daughter, Victoria. It was one a.m., I wasn’t feeling well, and a nurse stuck her head into my room to see if she could get me something to eat. I said sure, I’d take anything. So I’m thinking that she’d bring me Jell-O at the most, and she comes back with a big tray, and on it was a covered dish. When the nurse lifted the silver top, it wasn’t lobster. There was a big, fat fly sitting on top of a salad! It was disgusting, but it made me cry. Nanny wanted me to know she was with me during her granddaughter’s birth, and while I felt ill. I also don’t think she’d have wanted me to eat a salad, so her energy encouraged a fly to land on top of it! I asked the nurse for some pasta instead.
When deceased loved ones like Nanny or Gram want me to pass on a message to a family member, I don’t do it outright, the way I do with my clients or people I see when I’m out and about; I ask Spirit to guide us to signs instead. It happened during the episode we filmed where we bought art for Victoria’s dorm room with the lyrics to “You Are My Sunshine” painted on it. Gram used to sing that song all the time. Seeing this sign meant the world to me and V, since I sensed this was Gram’s way of saying she’d watch over Victoria. What the show didn’t air was that a big, fat fly flew right into the cameraman’s mouth while we were filming, so Nanny was there too!
After you’ve opened yourself up to getting signs, don’t hesitate to ask for one if you need it for support or encouragement. Your loved ones don’t always get right back to you—they usually wait until the time is right—but when they do, their gestures will knock your fishnets off. I know a woman named Anna whose mom had just died, and while she was working at her computer, she felt a wave of sadness from missing her. She said out loud, “Mom, I wish I could feel you kiss my cheek again.” Just then, Anna was overcome with chills, which caused her to grab a sweater that her mom had left at the house. She put her hands in the pockets to warm them and found a neatly folded tissue with a perfect outline of her mom’s lips on it. Anna’s mother always wore red Revlon lipstick and would blot her mouth once before going out. The woman put the red lip marks against her cheek and felt so much better. Anna’s mom sent her the sign she needed.
So what do you do when you get a sign from a loved one? Say hi, tell the soul that you miss him or her, share how you feel, fill them in on any news from your life, and/or just say, “I love you.” You don’t need to have a long conversation. Simply acknowledging Spirit’s presence is enough. But don’t get so hung up on looking for signs that it consumes your day. Like that old cliché about love, Spirit can come to you when you least expect it. Simply ask for a sign or visit, and then release it with faith.
Who Moved My Keys?
Another way that Spirit and your loved ones like to get in touch is by manipulating things in and around your home. They’ll tilt pictures, move objects, turn the water on in the sink, turn electrical appliances on and off, make objects go missing, and cause your pets to behave strangely. You may also hear knocking, footsteps, or dishes clanging around in the kitchen. All of these things require a lot of energy from Spirit, so they’re working very hard to get you to notice them if you experience this! And if Spirit is very close to you, you might feel chills, pressure in your ears, or a tingly sensation in your head. Spirit might even touch you, or direct your attention to someone who looks exactly like a loved one, then
a minute later, not at all. This is why you might feel like you saw your dead godmother in the grocery store, but when you looked back, she was different or gone. Or here’s one I get all the time—for a brief moment when your pet gives you a certain look or acts a particular way, he resembles a person in your life who has passed away.
Manipulating electrical equipment is one of the easiest ways for Spirit to announce they’re with you because they, too, are made of energy. I know a woman whose husband bought a metal, industrial-style lamp from a store in SoHo years ago, before he died from melanoma. It was very much his style, and he really loved it. The man’s wife’s aunt was with him when he made the purchase, and during the family’s first Christmas without him, she was telling the story about when they bought the piece. Halfway through the anecdote the lamp turned off, and a few seconds later it turned back on again. Not only did this soul manipulate electricity, but he also chose a meaningful way to do it!
Of all the electrical equipment that Spirit could finagle for me—lamps, TVs, stoves, lights, hair dryers, irons—it often prefers to play with the cameras around me. When I was on tour in Philadelphia, I did a reading in an old theater. We were having a great time, so Pat took out her iPhone to snap some photos, but the camera began taking them on its own! When I looked at the pictures, I saw a little girl peeking out from behind Larry’s leg and my team was covered in huge blue orbs. This last part didn’t surprise me because Spirit typically appears in photos as a blue haze, orb, or streak, or as a white, smoky cloud or streak. Sometimes if you zoom in on an orb, you can even see the image of a face. I’ve also seen little orange lightning bolts over my head.
In photos, souls can also appear as people, which can be confusing. About three years ago, my family threw a party at a restaurant, and someone took a picture of me and my cousins. In the shot, we’re all blurry, but between me and my cousin Lisa, you can distinctly see her uncle, dressed in a leisure suit, who died in a motorcycle accident thirty-five years prior. Also in the picture is a profile of St. Teresa and my deceased great-uncle wearing big sunglasses. What kind of motley crew is St. Teresa hanging out with? My sister-in-law Corrinda even has a picture where the Blessed Mother’s silhouette is facing her. (She had no idea what she was marrying into.) Of course, everyone always says it’s because of me that our family photos turn out so weird. But this doesn’t just happen to me. Pat’s father showed himself in two Labor Day photos—one, in a flame directly above her brother’s head in which her dad’s facial features were clearly discernible, and in another, where he appeared more as a hologram. If you look back at photos of your own celebrations or family gatherings, you may see an orb or image that surprises you too!
Spirit also likes to fool around with toys, especially if it has a special meaning or is easy to manipulate. When I was in Long Beach, California, I read for two grandparents whose granddaughter had died, and her soul showed me my sign for a soul setting off toys in the house. When I asked them if this happened, the family couldn’t place it. So the soul upped its game for a clearer message. She said to me, “Tell them about my tricycle”—and wouldn’t you know, the grandparents kept the child’s bike in their house, even after she died, and frequently heard the bell on it ringing. I can’t tell you the number of times people tell me that their toys turn on without batteries, dolls fall off shelves, or that a Transformer’s blue eyes glow in the middle of the night. In the dark, that last one sounds pretty creepy, but try to think of it as your loved ones saying good night.
I Dreamed a Dream
Spirit calls the time that we sleep our “teaching hours,” since our mind is at rest and most easily accessible for them to pass on any guidance or information that we might need. So it makes sense to me that one of the easiest and most common ways that Spirit can communicate with us is when we’re snoozing—either in a dream or visitation that feels like a dream. I don’t dream of Spirit (or much, really), but a lot of my clients do, and there seems to be some confusion over the difference between a dream and a visitation. Let me try to explain the difference, because there can be some overlap.
Visitations from Spirit are brief, the messages are succinct, and then the moment’s over. It may include a quick exchange, a few sentences, or just a word. Sometimes a loved one might stand there without talking, or the meaning is understood without words since souls communicate through thought. You’ll remember the message (unlike how dreams are spotty the next day), and it will be clear as a bell. I’ve had many clients whose friends or family members appeared only long enough for a hug, and then disappeared. During a visitation, the person’s presence is so vivid, it seems real. A friend told me a story about how she was adopting a baby from Ethiopia and was concerned that she didn’t ask for enough medical tests to be run before she brought the child home. That night while she was sleeping, she saw the faces of her deceased aunt and uncle standing side by side, smiling, looking right at her. “Don’t worry,” they said. “Your daughter’s health will be fine.” Their mouths didn’t move—they spoke telepathically, as souls do. It was over in seconds, and then she woke up. I assured her that this was, in fact, a visitation.
Visitations aren’t always meant to comfort; they can also be a warning. I had a client whose deceased father came to her during a nap. She heard him speak into her ear, but in her mind, she framed it as if they were talking on the phone. The woman had a teenage daughter at the time who was acting very cagey. Her father told her to ask her daughter what was going on, and if she didn’t share, to tell her that her Popsi said to. That was it. The woman woke up, went to her daughter’s bedroom, and said, “Is there something you need to talk to me about? Popsi just—” Without another word, the girl began to cry. She said that she’d had sex for the first time that week, and the condom broke. She worried that she might be pregnant. The woman took her daughter to her first gynecologist appointment, and she was completely healthy and not pregnant. But it was a conversation that needed to happen, and they had Popsi to thank for it.
Now, dreams, on the other hand, can be long, rambling, creative, and elaborate; they’re usually a jumble of thoughts, images, ideas, and feelings that need to be analyzed to be understood. They may reflect your emotions, wishes, or things that happened during the day. But Spirit’s told me that you can also have visitations within a dream. Some mediums disagree with this, but I’m not so black-and-white with this stuff. Spirit is constantly surprising me. For instance, I had a client who welcomed visitations from her Nana after our first reading and received a few messages from her since. One night, she dreamed that her Nana hadn’t died, but she didn’t know it, and she realized that she’d missed out on the chance to spend meaningful time with her. In the dream, the woman found her Nana just sitting in her apartment, waiting for her. Nana had a warm and loving but very still demeanor, which is common in visitations. She didn’t say a word; she just sat there long enough for her to give her a hug. Then the woman woke up. She and her Nana were close, so the girl never felt guilty that she wasn’t there for her grandmother when she was alive; this wasn’t her mind working things out in a dream. When my client told me about this, she said she didn’t think it could be a visitation because some mediums say that you either dream or have a visitation—it’s either one or the other, not both. But when she said this, her Nana’s soul actually came through for us and confirmed that her experience was, in fact, a visitation within a dream.
Nana’s soul also told me what the dreamlike visitation meant. “Her soul’s been with you all this time, but you’re doing so many more things together since you’re open—thinking of her, including her in your life,” I said. “She’s obviously dead but her soul is very much alive and with you. She’s saying, ‘Look at all the time we can spend together!’ ” So don’t be quick to dismiss a mixed-up dream if your loved one makes a cameo. You might not remember anything else from the dream—nothing may even make sense—but if their presence is visitation-like, it could very well be their sou
l saying hi.
Most visitations require little, if any, interpretation, but there are exceptions to this rule.
One last point: if you’re grieving a loss or feeling guilt connected to a death, your negative feelings may lead you to believe that a visitation is heavier than it’s meant to be. Say you dream of a loved one standing still for a split second, and the person doesn’t say anything. You might even call out to him, but the image fades away. This is a typical visitation, but if you’re carrying negative emotions related to the death, you may interpret it to mean that the person’s soul is mad at you or didn’t want to talk to you, and chose not to stick around for long. But that’s never Spirit’s aim at all! As you’ve just learned, visitations are special, well-intentioned, and yet another sign that a soul is at peace.
There's More to Life Than This: Healing Messages, Remarkable Stories, and Insight About the Other Side from the Long Island Medium Page 9