Spirit insists that while there’s evil in all of the universes, there is much, much more good out there. Without some negativity, there’d be nothing for free will to rail against, no opportunities for our souls to evolve. In the epic war of good versus evil—in the universe, in your soul, and among PTA moms at your child’s elementary school—love always conquers all.
Wanna Tour a Creepy Jail or Sad, Old House? Me Neither.
People often ask me if I have negative experiences at deserted mental institutions, old brothels, or poorly maintained inns. What kind of vacations do you think I take? As a rule, I don’t intentionally tour or visit locations where I know depressing or brutal activities occurred, like Charles Manson’s house or Sylvia Plath’s crawl space. Given what I do and feel, why would I want to spend my free time there? It wouldn’t make for a breezy afternoon off.
I have enjoyed going to more positive historic locations. When I was a kid, I was drawn to Teddy Roosevelt’s house on the north shore of Long Island. It’s called Sagamore Hill and has wide porches and amazing views of the Sound. It’s very peaceful, and I always felt intrigued when I was inside. I remember that the furniture, especially in one of the bedrooms, felt very familiar to me. I recall seeing a table and thinking, That’s not right. There used to be a lamp there. Because I didn’t focus too much on my gift at the time, I also remember seeing a maid setting a table with doilies and now realize that she was a Spirit. I could also see myself sitting at one of the desks and writing with a quill pen. I don’t know if this means that my soul lived in this house or lived in a home like this in the late 1800s, but either way, it’s a fun thing to consider.
I also go to historic locations by accident when I’m on tour, because I do a lot of shows at old venues—and the energy in each is a crapshoot. I was in one old theater in Albany, where I saw a woman’s soul on the balcony, and she told me, “I died here.” Thanks for that, but I didn’t want to know anything more. Another time, I felt a tap on my shoulder before a show, and when I turned around and saw that nobody was there, I heard a male soul’s friendly laughter. It then said, “I touch him all the time too. Look to your left.” That’s when I saw a burly security guard next to me, minding his own business. I told him what happened, and he said, “Yeah, I get tapped! I’ve never told anyone that!” Finally, there was the show in Philadelphia where my iPhone began taking photos by itself. One shot was eerie and looked like either a distorted version of my face or like another person’s face was on top of mine. Was this positive or negative energy? I don’t know, though whatever it was had a good time fooling around with me. But I wasn’t afraid, because I know that I and the guests at my shows are all protected.
Caught Between a Rock and a Heavenly Place
I feel I only channel souls that are already in Heaven, so as far as I know, I haven’t worked with a “stuck soul” as a professional medium. However, I’m told that every once in a while, troubled Spirit may not want to leave the physical world after their bodies die, so they insist on staying here. While some stuck energies are negative, most are good souls that are misplaced, confused, and/or lost. It’s like post-traumatic stress disorder for Spirit, and the souls aren’t sure what to do next.
With stuck energy, the soul refuses to cross because of an unresolved problem that’s left an impression on its consciousness. For instance, the soul may not realize that its body is dead. It can also be the soul of a person who passed tragically and wants to tell its side of the story, so it stays put until it can. Some stuck Spirit believe the deeds they committed in the physical world were so unforgivable that they don’t want to face God. This last scenario can happen with suicide victims, because of certain religious beliefs they held in their lifetime (not because their death was inexcusable). Other souls stay because they’re waiting for a loved one, like a child for its mother or a spouse its partner.
This makes it sound like you have a choice about whether you go to the light, but it’s more like, when you die, your soul goes there unless you’re confused or choose not to. For stuck souls, crossing over requires assistance from higher beings and/or people on earth, including mediums that make it their mission to do this. I remember Pat telling me a story about how she and others with mediumship abilities worked with a man who was murdered, and his soul said that someone had covered up his death to make it look like the man killed himself. The soul was stuck, because he wanted his family to know that he did not commit suicide. He wanted to tell his side of the story. After several visits with his soul and communicating his messages to his family, he said he had to move into the light, because he had work to do. Pat and her cohorts helped him do this.
Though some suicide victims can get stuck, this isn’t because they’re not allowed into Heaven. I’ll tell you right now that most of the souls who’ve committed suicide that I channel are at peace, but some do refuse to cross over because they’re needlessly worried. Suicide is not part of the journey God set out for you to have; nobody is destined to prematurely end his or her time here to learn a lesson. But I do believe our guides assess suicide on a case-by-case basis—for example, taking your life because you’re in physical pain, mentally ill, or dealing with an addiction can hardly be considered “taking the easy way out.” But this is what souls can fear, because they’re raised with religious beliefs that condemn them and this tragedy. I remember Pat telling me how she helped cross over a boy who fled from the light because he believed God would be upset that he killed himself. The soul followed around a high school classmate who had mediumship abilities, and when he refused to cross, she and some friends formed a prayer circle and told the boy that he could go, and he would not be condemned. He did, and he wasn’t.
It’s not for me to say what guides discuss with these souls during a life review, but Spirit does tell me they will need to explain why they left the world so early. And then, like the rest of us, they’ll be held accountable for the lessons they didn’t learn and the choices they could have made instead, and then revisit those teachings in a different, future life. They will also experience the pain of those they left behind, like we all do. I’ve compared living in the physical world to an internship or semester abroad—a way to learn lessons in a real-world capacity. But if you were to cut out of these types of programs early, you’d have to explain yourself to your counselors and be held accountable for what you missed. It’s the same deal in Heaven, if you take your own life. But there’s no punishment or ruler slapping for suicide, if that’s what you’re wondering. What’s more challenging, perhaps, is that the souls who exit early feel regret, remorse, and have to come to terms with what their suicide means for their soul’s growth and Karma (souls don’t get “sad” like we do, but setbacks always make an impression). In addition to praying for your loved ones who’ve departed, I also encourage you to pray for suicide victims, even if you don’t know one. This isn’t because they need our prayers to bring them mercy or anything like that. We should use our positive energy to pray for them because our supportive thoughts give their souls some oomph to grow and evolve.
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Three Not-So-Little Words: Health, Grief, and Healing
No matter how amazing Spirit is about communicating with laughter and personality, my clients always cry when they’re connecting with a loved one. How can they not? During a session, you feel intimately connected to those who’ve crossed over, and their messages tend to circle three subjects that speak to everyone’s souls. I’m talking about the themes of health, grief, and healing, which run through all of my readings, because Spirit says that how you handle each one will impact the time you spend here and in the afterlife.
Health, grief, and healing are more connected than you might realize. Consider: Something causes your loved one’s body to stop functioning—be it an accident, disease, or trauma (health). After that person dies, you mourn the loss (grief), and I believe that how effectively you do this can influence your mental, physical, and spiritual
well-being (healing). You will always grieve for your loved ones, but it’s important that your body and soul recover from their passing. If you don’t heal, I feel that the stress, emotional upset, and trauma you hold inside can contribute to illness. Your grief can also affect your soul’s growth if it’s not released, because the burden keeps you from developing in this life and can be carried into the next.
So I’d like to discuss the various aspects of health, grief, and healing, because these topics are central to all of our lives and souls. Even if you are not actively mourning a loved one right now, you bought my book for a reason, and I don’t think there are many accidents in our world. Maybe you were meant to read this today, come back to it another time, or earmark it for a friend. No matter what, I’ll bet it’s just what Spirit ordered.
Health: Why, Why, Why?!
If I had a dime for every time I said, “Why is this happening?” after a loved one got sick or passed away, Gram would never have to send me those silver coins again. I think that one of the hardest things to accept when you’re in any tough, life-changing situation, particularly related to mortality, is that there aren’t explanations to every question you have. I don’t even know all the answers, and I’ve got a direct line to Heaven! But as you heal, one of the best gifts you can give yourself is permission to accept that there are some things you’re not meant to know until you can ask around on the Other Side. Until then, repeat after me: “I’ll find out when I get there.” But I do want to share what Spirit’s said about health and illness, so you can digest it in a way that means something to you. Their points might even relate to a health issue you’re experiencing right now.
So, based on what Spirit tells me, we contract many of our illnesses or health conditions so that we, and/or those around us, can learn from them. I often think of Michael J. Fox and how I’d never heard of Parkinson’s before he made his condition public, nor did I know about pancreatic cancer until I watched Patrick Swayze fight it. These actors might not have advocated and done so much for those specific diseases if they weren’t personally invested in their progress. An illness might also teach you discipline, patience, or gratitude—that is, lessons that help your soul grow. After my husband, Larry, recovered from his benign brain tumor, he felt the ordeal helped him learn to live more in the moment, really cherish our family, and never put off anything he wants to do, whether it’s riding his motorcycle on a whim or taking chances on a new business idea.
I also feel that emotional upsets, traumas, and losses—including those we experience from grief—can contribute to poor health. And often, to repair the health issue, it helps to recognize this and heal from whatever brought you down in the first place. I’m no doctor, but I’ve met a lot of people with health concerns like hernias, addictions, and fibromyalgia who were prompted or fed by anxiety, anger, sadness, and other negative emotions. For them, working through their issues helped their bodies accept healing from whatever source they used, whether it was medicine, surgery, healers, acupuncture, what have you. Their immune systems could actually focus on fighting their conditions without the additional, stress-induced symptoms.
From a spiritual point of view, I was taught that many of us are given option points where you have the opportunity to learn a lesson or change something about yourself for the better, which can result in healing the body. Many times, if you can recognize and release pain, or allow yourself to forgive a hurtful situation, an illness can turn around. Or, you may not be willing to let go of an upset or seek the right treatment, and that can cause you to get worse or lead to your passing. For example, during a private reading, Spirit told me that a woman’s brother had terrible diabetes and that he might need to have a toe amputated. They said it was correctable, but he had to take certain steps to initiate healing. You could argue that this message was his “option point.”
I love how Spirit gives advice but then leaves it to you to make wise, freewill decisions. No matter how great your life is, I think you’ll always have regrets, so Spirit wants you to make as many informed choices as you can—particularly with your health, since you can carry emotional or physical illnesses into a future life. And even though the time that we’re meant to pass is generally predetermined, destiny is not an excuse to eat junk food, become a dumpy old couch potato, or take thoughtless risks like skydiving without a parachute. The whole reason we’re here in this world is to learn from our experiences. So you can choose not to take care of yourself and not learn your lessons and end up with sickness, pain, and unhappiness, but this would be counterproductive to your purpose, because you would set yourself up for suffering. Or, you can lead a happy, healthy, and productive life, as well as spiritually evolve in the time frame that has been designated and allowed for soul growth. I know which option I prefer!
To that end, it doesn’t make much sense to blame God for “taking a life too soon.” It’s not like He arbitrarily swats out an otherwise healthy and happy existence, as if He’s wielding one of those insect zappers that look like tennis rackets. Remember, your death is an agreed-upon choice between your soul, your guides, and God. It doesn’t matter if the person who dies was good, pious, or a role model; in most cases, Spirit tells me that death happens when that particular soul, not the human, chooses to leave—even if the soul fights to stay when it’s his time to cross over. I’m told that this is also the case with children who get sick or die young. Their souls have agreed to take on illnesses for the sake of their growth or for the loved ones connected to them. I once read a father who wanted his son to be a great baseball player, but the boy developed leukemia that didn’t allow him to do all that this man expected of him. The child died from the cancer, and during a reading, his soul stepped forward to say that Dad was meant to learn about expectations and unconditional love from the limitations that his son’s soul took on.
My cousin Keith and his wife, Meagan, are also learning from their child’s challenges. They have two daughters, but miscarried a son at eight weeks. When Meagan got pregnant again with their daughter Alexa, they were overjoyed, yet at eight weeks old she was diagnosed as blind in her left eye and with compromised vision in her right. While Alexa is the happiest baby, her condition has been stressful on her parents’ marriage. Initially, Alexa had surgery and then doctor’s appointments three days a week; now she’s getting physical and vision therapy four days a week. With this situation, I sensed that the lesson linked to the little girl is for her parents—that despite their current struggles, she is teaching them to remember why they fell in love in the first place. They’re also learning gratitude for their three beautiful children and the incredible support network they have. Incidentally, their oldest daughter, Sophia, has begun seeing the soul of a young boy, and rainbows in their living room and at bedtime. Spirit says this is the child they miscarried, and the rainbows mean there’s light at the end of this tunnel.
Though God isn’t really to “blame” for a death, getting angry at Him is a natural part of grieving, and He knows that. It doesn’t offend Him, because He realizes that part of what humans do when they grieve is look for something or someone to hold responsible. If getting mad makes you feel better, okay. Know that He will be there when you’re ready to pick up where you left off. God has broad shoulders, as they say. It reminds me of how I get annoyed at Larry or the kids, yet no matter how frustrated I can act, I’m never going to divorce him or walk out on the family. We share a strong bond that will always keep us connected. Similarly, when you’re mad at God, you can stomp and yell at Him all you want, but you don’t need to turn from your faith to make a point.
Grief: It Gets Easier, I Promise
There is a period of grieving that everyone must go through, and it may be the hardest thing you’ll ever do. You might have lost more than a father, because Dad was also your best friend. A neighbor who passed may have been the sister you never had. You can also suffer the impact of what that person has left you to do alone—cook meals, fill
the gas tank, preset the thermostat, take care of the kids. You might feel shocked and numb, angry at everyone, ask a lot of “if only” and “what if” questions, slump around in a fog, and even wonder if it’s worth going on. If that’s not hard enough, you have to deal with inappropriate condolences, when all you want people to do is say they’re sorry, offer assistance, drop off a casserole, and share a story about how your loved one touched their lives. And even then, it rarely helps, because you just want your husband or mother back, and nothing can be said or done to change that this won’t happen. I get it, I get it, I get it.
As a medium, I’ve seen clients turn their lives around when they swallow three powerful points. First, that your departed loved ones are still interacting with you in this world, but in another form. Spirit’s said to my clients, “I’m not sad, because I haven’t lost anything. I’m still with you in a different way”—and that’s very comforting. Second, that the soul made a decision to leave this life early for soul growth. And third, that you can learn to recognize when your loved ones are reaching out, so you can reach back.
There will always be a part of you that will grieve for the people you love, but Spirit assures me that healing isn’t just possible, it’s necessary. What might be harder to hear is that taking small steps to help in this process, each and every day, is a freewill choice. You’ll grieve your loved ones for the rest of your life, but you can heal at the same time. My mom’s done a lot of bereavement training to help her conduct support groups at our church and assist families with planning funeral masses, and she says many people don’t know this. You may think that if you’re feeling better, then that’s a disloyalty to the person who passed. But you will always miss your loved ones, and they know that. Spirit’s told me that they want you to embrace life without them.
There's More to Life Than This: Healing Messages, Remarkable Stories, and Insight About the Other Side from the Long Island Medium Page 18