According to Meyer, Howard got the manager of the hotel to let him into Merv's suite. When Howard discovered Merv “falling down drunk,” he had him carried out of the hotel by two bellhops and placed in the back of his car. Meyer packed Merv's luggage.
Piloted by Howard, the private plane flew Merv and Meyer across the country. “When Merv finally woke up, we were somewhere over the Middle West,” Meyer said.
Merv did remember waking up with a mouth that was so dry it was like it'd been stuffed with cotton. He also recalled the most pounding headache of his life. But in Merv's account, he claimed he woke up in a car being driven to Los Angeles. He did say, however, that the driver of that car was a friend called “Howard.” Merv gave no last name.
Meyer had stuffed Merv's winnings in his shoes because “he had hundred dollar bills falling out of his pockets.”
On the plane, Meyer told Merv that he'd won $15,000 at the blackjack table. Merv was elated. This was enough for a nest egg for relaunching himself in New York.
After counting his money carefully in the back of the plane, Merv settled in for a smooth ride. After all, he was being flown by the world's greatest aviator.
After their airplane landed, Merv had recovered to the point where he could play a game of tennis that afternoon with Howard on a lavish estate on Long Island. Howard had rented the estate in Southampton for the summer. After Howard had beaten Merv at tennis, he lent him a car to drive into New York City.
On the Lower East Side, Merv was reunited with Hadley, who'd driven crosscountry with their luggage. Their living standards had changed drastically, going from a rented house with a pool in Los Angeles to a sublet in a cramped and tacky, cockroachfilled, fifthfloor walkup apartment in Manhattan.
After a reunion in bed with Hadley that lasted for most of the night, Merv woke up groggy but sober enough to place a call to his agent. He urged his agent to find him work—“any kind of work so long as it's not as a dishwasher.”
Before leaving Los Angeles, Merv ended his association with Bullets Durgom, his longtime agent. Merv knew that Bullets was devoting most of his time to his topgrossing client, Jackie Gleason, and had little time or energy left over for him. Bullets also devoted time to the careers of both Marilyn Monroe and Sammy Davis Jr.
Needing a new agent based in New York, the thirtythree year old Merv signed with Marty Kummer of MCA, who predicted big things for Merv in his future career. Marty not only worked for the largest talent agent in the country, but he also handled Jack Paar and Ed Sullivan. Merv told Marty, “I want either of their jobs. This big band singer shit is yesterday. I want to be an emcee on TV.”
“Don't you watch The Eddie Fisher Show?” Marty asked. “Eddie is fine singing about his papa or that lady in Spain, but he can't talk. He's a fucking train wreck.”
“But I can sing and talk,” Merv protested.
“I'll do my best for you, kid,” Marty said. “But let's start at the bottom before we knock Paar off the air.” Merv later had only the highest praise for Marty, claiming that he paid as much attention to a client if he “were making ten dollars or ten thousand dollars” on a job.
Within a week, Marty came through for him with a summer telecast for CBS. Summer Holiday was broadcast in two fifteenminute segments on Tuesday and Thursday at 7:45pm. In winter the show was very popular, featuring stars who included Perry Como, Jo Stafford, and Dinah Shore. Merv and singer/actress Betty Ann Grove were the summer replacements.
A petite redhead with a powerful voice, Betty never made it big on Broadway, although she'd starred in Cole Porter's Kiss Me Kate. She would achieve her greatest fame appearing on The Bert Parks Show, where she worked well with that star's manic, eye-batting vitality.
Before she left for the summer, Jo Stafford greeted Merv and wished him well. In San Francisco during World War II he'd listened to her wistful singing voice. She was nicknamed “GI Jo” by American servicemen and was viewed as the vocal embodiment of every GI's dream, the voice that kept the home fires burning while the men were fighting overseas.
Merv was impressed that her recording of “You Belong to Me” had sold two million copies in 1952. He envied her success. For her finale on the show, she invited Merv to join her in a duet with her standard, “I'll Be Seeing You.” Their voices blended harmoniously, and she invited him to join her for dinner. Since she was one of Hadley's favorite singers, Merv asked if his friend could come along too. Jo graciously extended the second invitation.
Over dinner Merv told her how his voice had deserted him in the sandy winds around Las Vegas. “I don't think I'm going to depend on my voice to put bread on the table,” he said. “It's too unreliable. I want to do something else.”
Instead of urging him to stick to singing, she encouraged him to go in another direction. “Sinatra…” She paused. “I'm meeting him later tonight. Don't say a word about it or I'll cut off the balls of both you boys. Sinatra and Judy will probably go on until The Grim Reaper comes to call. At this point they're icons. Not little ol’ me. I fear my days as a pop singer are coming to an end. Of course, I can always work the market of GIs nostalgic for the songs they heard during the war. But my kind of music—your kind of music—may be over. I'm not sure America will be listening to romantic ballads in 1965. Haven't you heard ‘Shake, Rattle & Roll’? There's a new sound in the air. A new kid on the block. His name is Elvis Presley.”
On Summer Holiday, both Merv and Betty were to simulate trips to various places in the world. On his first day on the show, Merv met the producer, Irving Mansfield. Today Irving's claim to fame is his marriage to the bestselling novelist Jacqueline Susann, a failed Broadway actress who would write The Valley of the Dolls (1966), one of the bestselling novels of all time.
Irving invited Hadley and Merv to dinner where they met his sultry wife. Merv had heard all the gossip about the bisexual actress, who'd had an affair with Carole Landis when she appeared with her on Broadway in A Lady Says Yes in 1945. Landis would later commit suicide in 1948 by overdosing on sleeping pills. She was said to be despondent over the breakup of her affair with Rex Harrison, whom Merv called “Sexy Rexy.”
The gossip circuit along Broadway also claimed that Jacqueline was having an onagain, offagain affair with Ethel Merman. In 1959 Jacqueline would also have an affair with the fashion designer Coco Chanel.
After dinner that night with Mr. and Mrs. Irving Mansfield, Merv and Jacqueline Susann never became friends, Merv preferring to speak of her privately as “my old acquaintance,” borrowing the title from the Bette Davis/Miriam Hopkins movie. He would know her until the day of her death on September 21, 1974. At the age of sixtysix, Susann succumbed to cancer.
Merv and Susann never liked each other, but each of them figured they'd have some use for each other in their futures. Behind his back, Susann called Merv “a faggot.” On the other hand, he was delighted when Truman Capote appeared on The Tonight Show and claimed that Susann “looks like a truck driver in drag.”
When she started writing novels, and Merv was a successful talk show host, he claimed that the bubble gum author was the first to effectively exploit the TV talk show circuit to promote a novel.
When he heard that she was in the hospital, Merv in 1974 visited her, hoping that she'd make a final appearance on TV with him. But he discovered that she was “too eaten up with cancer, too weak.” She told him she was unable to complete her last novel, Dolores. After her death, the movie critic Rex Reed completed the final chapters, which was to be Susann's take on Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis.
Upon hearing of her death, Merv told a reporter, “Jacqueline Susann was the Joan Crawford of novelists.” In time Susann became a gay male pop culture icon.
***
Mark Herron had seen it coming: after only three nights with Tallulah Bankhead in her New York home, she asked him to move on. Merv had arranged through his agent, Marty Kummer, to give Mark his telephone number should he try to contact him.
Mark called Merv and invited him for
lunch in his suite at the Plaza Hotel.
“The Plaza?” Merv said. “Our dah-ling Tallulah must have taken care of you very well.”
“Not at all,” Mark said. “Not a cent. But I've got another gig. Come on over and I'll tell you all about it.”
A handsome sixfooter, Mark greeted Merv in his suite and gave him a long, passionate kiss on the lips. “I've been hot for you, baby, ever since that first night,” Mark said. “I know you've been dying to see what's in my underwear.”
“I want to do more than see it,” Merv said as he looked around the suite. It was filled with gowns, highheel shoes, makeup kits, and recent shopping purchases. “Your new ‘gig’ must be some super glamorous puss… and rich.”
“She is,” Mark said smugly. “You know her as Lana Turner. Right now she's shopping on Fifth Avenue and plans to spend the early evening getting plowed by Frank Sinatra.”
“I didn't know either of them was in town.” Merv gave Mark a congratulatory kiss. “I've got to hand it to you, boy. First, Tallulah Bankhead. Then Lana Turner. Who's next?”
“I can't decide,” Mark said. “If you make it big on TV, it'll be Merv Griffin. I'm trying to hook up with Marilyn, but so far Miss Monroe has evaded my butterfly net. She won't even return my calls. Maybe I'll switch to redheads. I'm thinking about Arlene Dahl right now—she's beautiful. I've fucked Cary Grant, and he's got the hots for me. But, so far, the tightwad hasn't set me up in my own apartment. I've got two other prospects crazy for my ass. Henry Brandon, for one.”
“You mean Acacius Page from Auntie Mame?” Merv asked.
“One and the same,” Mark said. “And get this. Charles Laughton has taken a more than fatherly interest in me.”
“He's a brilliant actor, but the ugliest man on the screen. We're talking The Hunchback of Notre Dame here.”
“I don't just fuck beauties or little cutie pies like you,” Mark said. “I screw anybody, male or female, beast or beauty, if they're a star.”
“Let's quit talking about fucking and do some of it,” Merv said.
“You're in for a treat,” Mark said. “I'm good.”
Two hours later, with both men sitting in their underwear in the living room of Lana's suite, Merv agreed. “You're good. You motivate me to really make it big so I can have you full time.”
“I'll be ready whenever you are,” Mark promised.
Suddenly, the door to the suite opened and in barged Lana Turner, accompanied by a bellhop loaded down with packages. “Don't bother to get up or get dressed for me, gentlemen,” she said when she saw them sitting half dressed on her sofa. She kissed Mark on the lips and shook Merv's hand. “I know you. Frank took me to the Grove to hear you sing.”
“I remember it well,” Merv said, feeling embarrassed to have been caught like this in front of the screen legend.
“Speaking of Frank,” Lana said, “that God damn wop fucked up my plans for the night. Would you believe it? My darling gal pal, Ava Gardner, winged into town on her broom, and Frank's hardon tonight is reserved for her. Of course, they invited me to join them in a three way, but I wasn't up for it. I tried three ways with Tyrone Power and Howard Hughes. Those two paid more attention to each other than to me. Then I figured that in a threeway with Ava, Frank would pay more attention to his lady love than to me. I never like second billing. So I told them I didn't want any part of their fun and games.” She checked out the male bodies on her sofa. “Did you boys have fun this afternoon when mama was away?”
“Lover-ly,” Merv said. It seemed that she didn't have a jealous bone in her body. Years later, Lana's daughter, Cheryl Crane, revealed to talk show host, Larry King, that her mother, for a woman of her time, was remarkably sophisticated about homosexual relationships.
Merv excused himself to get dressed in the satellite bedroom where Mark and he had so recently made passionate love. Lana retired to her boudoir to get dressed for dinner. Back in the main living room, Merv looked for Mark but didn't see him. He assumed that he'd retired with Lana to her boudoir.
About half an hour later, as Merv was pouring himself a drink, Lana emerged from her boudoir. A vision in white satin, she'd never looked lovelier. “I want you to escort me to dinner tonight,” she said, almost as if issuing an imperial command. “My darling Mark was called away to spend an evening with Charles Laughton, who is also in town. Mark is Laughton's new protégé, you know.”
Merv eagerly agreed to escort Lana, calling Hadley to tell him that he didn't know when he'd be home. He was proud to be seen on the town with Lana, and he hoped that Walter Winchell would write it up in tomorrow's column. He'd been dazzled by Lana ever since he'd seen her on the screen in The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946).
When Lana made a spectacular entrance into Sardi's every head at every table turned to take her in. She was, after all, one of the most glamorous stars of Hollywood's Golden Age. Even though she held her head high, Merv sensed Lana's nervousness. She held onto him too tightly. She was really scared, although she relaxed a bit after she was seated and after her drink had arrived. She looked fabulous, yet was sensitive about her appearance. She had reached that certain age—in her case, her midthirties.
To make the moment a complete disaster, two elderly ladies passed by their table, stopping to gaze upon Lana. “Honey, you sure don't look like you did when you were in the movies with Mickey Rooney.”
“Who in the fuck does?” Lana shot back. The ladies hastily retreated, one of them saying, “Well, I never…”
“Lana you look great,” Merv immediately reassured her. “The hottest woman in New York. In the whole world as far as that goes.”
She merely smiled at him before ordering another drink. He noticed that her hands were visibly shaking. “But how long can I go on looking like this? How long will it last? Every day I stare for an hour at my face in the mirror, looking for telltale changes. New blondes are coming along—take Marilyn Monroe for instance. One night Betty Grable and I had a long talk about what was going to happen to pinups like us from World War II. Rita Hayworth is facing our same problem. Those glory days of World War II are long gone. I meet young GIs from 1945 who are now bald and pot-bellied.”
“You'll go on forever,” he said, not really meaning it.
What happened later in that evening became fodder for a Hollywood legend. Lana herself, of course, never addressed the rumors spread about her that night. Merv, to protect the lady's privacy, never commented either. Years later, Mark Herron claimed that the legend was true, although he was not with Merv and Lana that night.
The rumor may have been apocryphal, an urban legend.
After Merv's “date” with Lana, a story spread from the New York islands to the coast of California. According to an unverified report, Merv took Lana to the Cotton Club in Harlem that night. After one long drunken evening, Merv reportedly was put in charge of guarding the entrance to the men's room.
Presumably inside the toilet, Lana was said to have performed fellatio on five “Mandingo types” that had been preselected by her earlier in the evening. It was claimed that Merv allowed the lucky men in one at a time.
In her autobiographical writings, Lana denied her interest in oral sex, especially with Howard Hughes, but many of her lovers claimed that she was a skilled oral artist in the boudoir. Lana's antics that night in Harlem even made the newspapers, but only as part of veiled references.
When cornered by Hadley for the sordid details, Merv said, “That's one secret I'll take to my grave.”
***
Late the following morning, Merv had brunch with Charles Laughton and Mark Herron. If Merv revealed secrets about what had happened the previous evening with Lana in Harlem, they'd have been told to Mark, in private, following brunch with the great actor.
When he met Charles, Merv exclaimed, “Oh, my God! Captain Bligh and Henry VIII all rolled into one.”
“The honor is mine,” Charles said, seating himself on a banquette between Mark and Merv. Merv later swore that the
actor kept groping both of them throughout the course of brunch. Skipping the bacon and eggs, Charles demanded that the chef prepare cucumber sandwiches—“light on the mayonnaise and with the crust cut off the bread.”
Fleshy, with a jowly face and beady eyes, Charles was a star in spite of his looks. He was versatile, inimitable, and unforgettable. Knowing that Merv had appeared with Tallulah Bankhead, Charles related stories about her when they'd made Devil and the Deep back in 1932. “Both of us were pursuing Gary Cooper, but Tallulah got him,” Charles claimed. “How could I compete with a tornado like her? I'll always remember her first words to me. ‘Gary Cooper is a divine man,’ she told me. ‘But you, Charlotte, are a repulsive, fat mess of glop!’”
The paunchy actor was the first to admit, “I know I'm no Tyrone Power. Let's face it: I have a face like the ass of an elephant.”
Over his delicate sandwiches, Charles also related stories of the filming of Night of the Hunter (1955), in which he'd directed Robert Mitchum. “I came to his dressing room and begged him to let me see him in the nude. I confessed that there was a strong streak of homosexuality in me. Mitchum is never known to be shy about dropping his trousers. He stripped for me and put on quite a show. Even got it hard. But he refused to let me play with it.”
Merv was all ears during the brunch, letting the actor do all the talking. But he did interrupt Charles's dialogue long enough to find out how he'd met Mark. It seemed that the aging actor had become so fascinated with Mark at a tryout in Hollywood that he'd taken him East to appear in the Broadway revival of George Bernard Shaw's Major Barbara. He'd gotten Mark cast as Barbara's stuffy brother, Stephen.
During a tryout in Boston, however, the backers of the show decided that Mark wasn't up to the role. Defying Charles's protests, they fired him.
“What chance did I have?” Mark asked defensively. “I was up against a cast that included Glynis Johns, Eli Wallach, and Burgess Meredith.”
Merv Griffin- A Life in the Closet Page 39