by J. Thorn
“Papi?” a small voice said cautiously.
“Thalia?” I rolled my eyes towards the sound of the voice. A dark shadow floated across my vision…then, two bony knees found the center of my solar plexus, driving the wind from me in a rush.
Little hands grabbed my face and I felt a kiss on both my cheeks, then my top lip. Delicate arms wrapped around my neck and a damp cheek pressed to mine. Raven black hair fell across my eyes, blinding me once more.
“Let him get his breath, child,” Dr. Zahn said, and I felt the nearly weightless body start to lift off of me. The arms around my neck gripped tighter.
“S’okay,” I wheezed and returned the hug I was being given.
“Our fearless leader fainted,” Dr. Zahn said in a very uncharacteristic sing-song voice.
“Rub it in,” I said, squeezing Thalia tighter. “I don’t care.”
“Yes, well,” there was that serious, clinical voice again, “I need to check you out. You’re bleeding and I need to clean it so it doesn’t get infected. Also, I’m gonna bet you have a least a slight concussion.”
I didn’t care. Thalia was okay. Also, I’d learned some very valuable lessons. About life. Death. Leadership. And most of all, there is no room for error if somebody is infected.
After a few more minutes, Dr. Zahn insisted that Thalia get up so that she could check my injury. I caught the doctor smirking a few times. I also saw something else in her eyes and knew we’d have to deal with it sooner or later: Dave.
While she cleaned and bandaged my head, I replayed that moment. Had I been fair blaming him for my decision? He was saying a lot of things that I felt but hadn’t expressed. I hadn’t been in favor of the execution—there really is no nice way to put it—of people who were infected. But last night, I’d seen why it was important. Instead of one dead child, we’d lost a woman I didn’t know, a man who had been a valuable member of our group, and almost another child.
There were going to be some changes. I doubted that everybody would like them. That would be the first change. Nobody was making anybody stay. I would need to be very clear as to how things were going to operate and inform everybody that those who didn’t like it were free to go.
***
“I don’t understand why we can’t simply stay right here.” Sunshine gestured to the large, open room that was the observation tower.
“You can,” I said, trying to keep my voice level and non-confrontational. “However, my objective is to find someplace that can be converted into an actual place to live.”
“What’s wrong with right here?” an older man easily in his fifties, Lawrence Tynes, asked.
“No readily accessible water source.” I began ticking off the points on my fingers. “No room for expansion if we find others. No emergency exit if the zombies find it—”
“What others?” Lawrence snapped. “We’re in the middle of nowhere. It’s unlikely we’ll encounter that many other people out here.”
“Same thoughts I had until we risked our asses rescuing you people,” Barry snorted.
Suddenly everybody was talking, arguing, shouting over one another. There was finger-pointing, finger-waving, and just the plain old finger. I pinched the bridge of my nose and squeezed my eyes shut at the sudden outburst of volume. This was the third outburst in the ten short minutes we’d been discussing things. I glanced at Dr. Zahn who merely raised an eyebrow at me as if to say, how long are you going to let this continue?
“Enough,” I said. The arguing continued and I barely heard the word come out of my own mouth. Fine. “Enough!” I shouted sharply. The room fell silent.
“I’m gonna make this clear,” I said. Everybody was looking at me like I’d grown a second head. “We leave here tomorrow. There are two towns north and east of here with reported populations under two thousand. That seems the best potential for supplies.
“I want to make sure everybody gets plenty of rest; we need to be sharp going in. I don’t want to lose anybody because we make sloppy mistakes due to fatigue.” I made sure to sweep my gaze around to everybody like I’d seen Paul do when he spoke.
“What if we don’t want to?” a woman, Sandy or Cindy—
something like that—asked. I still hadn’t learned these folks’ names. A point I needed to remedy…soon.
“Then stay here,” I shrugged, “but when we roll out tomorrow, we take everything with us. If you want to be independent and on your own, fine, you do it with what you came with. For those of you we just plucked from the warehouse, that means the clothes on your backs and a couple of homemade weapons.”
“What about food and water?” Lawrence stepped forward.
“I guess you better get busy finding some,” I replied. I caught a bit of a smile on Barry’s face. Good, that probably meant I could count on his support. Teresa was expressionless, as was Dr. Zahn. Jamie and Aaron looked nervous, but I think it was because of the tension in the room. A physical confrontation wasn’t out of the picture. Randi would probably back Barry. That left Melissa, I made eye contact. She nodded slightly!
“I won’t leave anybody who wants to come,” I continued. “But I won’t deplete what’s ours to support people who aren’t with us. I won’t do anything to hurt, hinder or—”
“Help,” Lawrence cut me off.
“See it how you like it,” I said. “But if you want to go your own way, you do it without taking our stuff.”
As I spoke I tried to gauge the others. Sunshine had moved over near Barry, so had a short, blonde woman who hadn’t uttered a word since we’d picked them up. That left Lawrence, Sandy/Cindy, and the other two young men, both of which looked to be in their late teens or early twenties.
“Tonight, we eat together,” I said, “but tomorrow I’m rolling out of here. Be here or don’t. It is your decision to make. One that you need to be ready to live or die with.”
***
“I love you, Papi,” Thalia said over her hands that were still folded under her chin from saying her prayers.
“And I love you, Thalia.” I leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Now get some sleep. We have some busy days coming.”
I stood, knees popping like tiny firecrackers. I winced, Thalia giggled. Why do children find the maladies of age so damned funny? I cinched my belt a little tighter and did a mental pat-down of my arsenal: two .45 caliber, semi-automatic pistols; Remington 12-gauge shotgun loaded with five, ten reloads in my vest pockets; field machete; and a brand new Bowie knife (compliments of Jamie to replace my Buck).
I walked out of the open quarters of the observation tower and onto the narrow walk. It was chilly and I could see my breath in little puffs. The moon overhead was slim and ducking in and out of the occasional cloud that scudded by. I walked all the way around, slowly admiring just how amazingly dark the New World was at night.
I was finishing my third circuit, rounding the corner on the side with the door when I literally bumped into Melissa. She was leaning against the log wall, and obviously waiting for me.
“You’ve been a bit…busy,” she said quietly.
“Yeah, and I owe you an apology for last night.”
“No. I think I realized today just how much of this crap has been piled on you.” She put a hand on my cheek.
“I was still a dick.” I peeled off one glove and took her hand in mine. “I had no right to assume you were there to ride me like everybody else had been up to that point.”
“No?” a playful tone crept into her voice. “I plan on riding you an entirely different way.
“Umm…” I was expecting more anger, perhaps some hurt feelings, not come-on lines.
“It was kinda sexy seeing you take charge like that.”
“I just figured that if everybody expected me to take the lead, it was time I acted the part.” I was a little uncomfortable with the praise and fawning. I can’t claim to ever having been a lady’s man.
“Yeah, well I had to practically put Chloe in a headlock,” Melissa chuckled.
“Who?” I was so confused. I had no idea who she was talking about, nor did I know why there should be a need for headlocks.
“The cute little blonde,” Melissa said. “The one who follows Sunshine everyplace. The deaf girl.”
What deaf girl?
“You didn’t know that one of the newbs is deaf, did you?”
“Until this very minute?” I asked sarcastically. “No.”
“Steve, you really can be clueless sometimes.”
“So it seems,” I agreed.
“You go all macho-take-charge on us and still don’t see things right in front of your face.” Melissa stepped close. “Jamie and Aaron are now ready to follow you to Hell and back. Barry and Randi have your back, and Teresa has finally shut up now that you’re talkin’ and takin’ charge. Add in the short blonde with the mega-crush and the fact that Emily is standing there watching you and Thalia while practically bursting into tears…”
Emily? What could her problem be? Oh my God! I am clueless. She’s lost her mom, now her dad. She was entrusted to me and I’ve just figured somebody would watch over her. I should be the one taking care of her. I gave my word. Tomorrow was gonna be a busy day.
“…have known considering how oblivious you were when we first hooked up,” Melissa was still talking.
“Yeah,” I put a finger over her mouth, “Well things are gonna change around here.”
“I really like this new attitude.”
Soft lips touched mine.
9
“I love you…”
“Steve?” Jack Williams climbed up on the hood of the Hummer and unshouldered his rifle. Jack, Sunshine, and Chloe Weeks—the cute, blonde, deaf girl with the supposed crush on me—had decided to join our group. Jack seems sorta eager to earn his place. He’s always helping somebody, like he’s afraid the moment he isn’t useful, we’ll dump him. He’d been in college on a basketball scholarship with no delusions of going pro. His love, before it became completely irrelevant, was economics.
“There’s a three-truck military convoy down there on that highway. Looks like they stopped to help deal with that multi-car wreck.” I pointed down the slope. You could just make out the olive-drab vehicles in the pre-dawn glow. “I say we go down and see if there’s anything worth taking.”
“You don’t think it’s been stripped already?” Jack brought up his binoculars.
“I’m as certain as I can get.” I tried not to smile.
“Why’s that?”
“That Crystal Springs truck is still loaded full of five-gallon water bottles for one.” I reached over and steered his binoculars to the right a few degrees.
“There’s a trail leading down about thirty yards that way,” Aaron announced as he jogged up, Jamie lagging a few yards behind him.
“Everybody listen up,” I spoke loud enough to be heard without actually raising my voice. Heads turned my way and all the quiet chatter died down. “Jack, Jamie, and Aaron are coming with me down to that highway below. There are a trio of military trucks, not to mention a truck loaded with water, we’re gonna see what we can find. I want everybody else to double back to that Ranger station we passed about two miles back. Ensure the building is clear.”
“We staying put for a while?” Randi asked.
“That building sits on a hill in a nice clearing. I think it was a campground or something. Whatever, we have plenty of open space while still being out in the sticks. There is a creek down in that ravine a few hundred yards away. I think the place has some potential.”
I noticed some heads nodding. Good, everybody else is just as tired of running as I am. We’d been on the move the past week since leaving that fire-watch tower. It had been hairy a few times when we’d been forced to find fuel.
Jack had made one of his first big contributions in that area. He came up with the surprisingly obvious way of getting gas from the abundance of abandoned vehicles. We drive up and two people move fast to the target car or truck with a spike, a three-pound sledge, and a couple of our gas cans. One person punches a hole in the gas tank and the other moves the can in position, swapping them as need be. Still, every time we’d had to pull off an operation like that, we put our asses on the line more than normal.
The plan, as I saw it, was to try and find a place where we could settle down for a while. This wasn’t gonna be permanent, but it would give us a base to search from until a suitable spot was found. The ideal location needed to be away from populated areas, but still allow us to be within a few hours of some potential sites. I needed to have us entrenched before the end of summer. That gave me about three months.
“We’ll be back before sunset,” I said.
“Papi!” Thalia came running up to the group of adults, Emily right on her heels.
I hopped off the hood and knelt to catch her in my arms. I looked up and made an exaggerated gesture of opening my arms even wider, nodding to Emily as I did. Each girl found her own cheek to kiss.
“Ewww,” Emily pulled back and glared at me with her dark, almond-shaped eyes, “you’re all scratchy.”
I wrapped an arm around her waist tight and did what any dad or father-type figure would do in a “normal” world, I gave her a good cheek-to-cheek rubbin’. There was a fair amount of squealing, and in moments I had both Emily and Thalia in a bit of a frenzy. When I finally stopped and the three of us looked up at the semi-circle of onlookers, I half expected stern faces, frowns of disapproval, and perhaps some worried looks due to the noise. What I saw were smiles. I became instantly self-conscious of all our laughter and felt just a bit guilty. Laughter was a rare event these days, and the three of us had just used up a month’s worth. Of course I’m being just a bit facetious, but it certainly feels that way.
“Okay,” I stood, allowing both girls to give me one last hug, “it’s time to get moving. I’ll see everybody before dinner.”
Thalia tugged on the pouch holding my spare magazines causing me to look down. She curled her index finger in the “come here” gesture so I bent down expecting one more kiss on the cheek.
“I love you, Papi,” she said.
A lump bloomed in my throat, and my vision got all blurry. “I love you, too, Thalia,” I managed…barely.
***
“That was the first time, wasn’t it?” Aaron stepped over an old log and held a branch out of the way so I could move past him. Jack and Jamie were about twenty yards ahead of us.
“Yeah.” I wasn’t gonna get all misty again. Seriously. It’s not gonna happen
“Doesn’t that make things harder?” Aaron asked.
“How so?”
“Well…” Aaron paused and I could tell he was trying to say something right without making me mad.
“Because I’m not really her dad,” I offered. “So if something bad were to happen, I’d be sad, but not as invested in it personally?”
“Something like that.”
“Maybe, but I honestly don’t know, because this is a lot of uncharted territory.”
“I’m not sayin’ you ain’t takin’ care of her,” Aaron said. “Only…how can you let yourself get close to anybody these days? Like Jamie and Teresa…”
There it is, I thought. This isn’t so much about me and Thalia, it’s about all of us, any of us. How do we care about each other now with death so prevalent? The world has turned upside down, and now another of his best friends has vanished. Every day somebody seems to die. And if they don’t, there’s no shortage of walking dead stumbling around. Still, some of us have found a purpose, or better yet, a person.
“You have a problem with Jamie hooking up with Teresa?” I asked.
“What? Uh, no!” Aaron slid on his hip down a particularly steep slope. “I’m happy for them. But when something happens to one or the other, we’ll have more to deal with than just another death.”
Wow, I thought, very impressed with this young man’s flow of logic. “Like you and Jamie with Billy’s—”
“There’s no
proof that he’s dead!” Aaron cut me off.
“Okay,” I nodded, “but he’s still missing. And in many ways, that’s worse.”
Aaron was silent for a moment as I got up from sliding down the slope and dusted myself off. Looking ahead, we’d lagged behind to the point of losing sight of Jack and Jamie. I took the lead and picked up our pace a bit.
“You think he’s dead, don’t you?” Aaron finally asked.
“I’m not trying to change the subject,” I said, “but Ian was in the group, too.”
“Did you grow up with Ian?” Aaron shot back. “I’m not saying that him missing, or any of the other soldiers in that group are more or less important. What I’m trying to say is that making close attachments only seems like a way to set yourself up to get hurt.”
I didn’t have an argument for him. I wasn’t in agreement with his outlook, but I saw what he was trying to say.
“Hey!” Jack came hurrying back up the trail, saving me from having to say anything. “We got a bit of work to do. Jamie told me to ask you guys if you’d mind hurrying up a bit.”
The three of us moved as quickly, but as quietly as we could, through the woods and thick undergrowth. We came to a stop beside Jamie who was crouched down behind a car that was literally on its side in the deep ditch that ran alongside this stretch of road. It still had a piece of metal barrier caught in its bumper. The body inside, sprawled awkwardly against the windshield was honestly and truly dead. From the angle the head sat, I could guess the cause.
“I heard voices,” Jamie whispered so quietly I wasn’t sure I heard him as much as read his lips.
“Any guess on numbers?” I mouth-whispered back, unshouldering my shotgun. Jamie held up one hand and swapped back and forth between three and five fingers while shrugging.