by J. Thorn
I stood up from the floor below the couch and stretched. I hadn’t actually been asleep- not even for a minute. The night had been long and difficult and I was antsy.
To put it mildly.
More accurately, you could say I was dangerously blood thirsty and someone was going to die this morning. Possibly a Feeder. Possibly a stranger. Possibly Hendrix for leaving me behind. What happened to the whole, “Stay by me, Reagan. I need you next to me. Blah, blah, blah….”
He was a dirty, filthy liar.
And I was painfully worried about him.
Haley was curled up on the couch next to Page, who still looked very, very sick. I felt my heart crack at the sight of her, a crumbling fission right down the center splitting it in half.
This family.
Page’s sickness. Hendrix and Nelson disappearing into the dark, unknown of the night.
How dare they.
They made me care for them, made me fall in love with them, and then shook my foundation of comfort and security.
It was a total douchebag mood.
And I was about to rectify this great injustice to my life.
“Where are you going?” Haley mumbled; her voice was thick with sleep and confusion.
“To save your boyfriend,” I whispered. My voice was dry and serious, working hard to keep the hundreds of fears and concerns clawing my chest at bay.
“He’s not my boyfriend.” She shut her eyes tight, waiting for my contradiction.
“Ok,” I shrugged. Her eyes popped open and then narrowed on me. “He’s way worse than a boyfriend.” I allowed a small smile to twist my game-face. I had a pretty bad ass game face.
“Shut up,” she groaned.
“Well?” I laughed. “You let me know how breaking up with him is going to work out for you.”
“Is that why you haven’t picked?”
Her question caught me off guard- way off guard. So I replied defensively, “I didn’t realize I had to.”
“If you don’t pick soon, someone’s going to get hurt- really hurt.” She pushed up to sitting, shoving her long blonde hair behind her ears. “Don’t make this into something we can’t come back from.”
“It doesn’t-”
“It will affect all of us, Reags. Everyone.”
I released a breath of air that sounded more like an animalistic growl than anything human. “You’re too smart for your own good.”
“I’ve been told this often,” she laughed at me. “Now go save my boyfriend so I don’t have to live out the remaining days of my life as a virgin.”
It was my turn to laugh, “Told you he was more.”
“You’re pretty smart too, babe,” Haley grinned at me.
“Let’s hope so. Smart enough to get us out of this mess.”
“You’re not going by yourself are you?” Panic and fear flashed behind her clear green eyes.
“Nope,” I shook my head, loose strands from my messy hair whipped around my face. Long hair sucked during the Apocalypse. “I’m taking the losing half of the love triangle.”
“Be gentle with him,” she warned in a small voice.
“I think I lost those instincts when I popped Chris’s head off,” I whispered back, feeling sick all over again for that travesty.
Haley let out a burst of inappropriate laughter. “Possibly.”
“Probably. Love you Hales.”
“Love you too, sister.”
And then I left her to tend to Page while I searched out Vaughan.
He was outside on the back deck watching the hazy sun rise on the horizon, just the barest tendrils of light snaked out into the still dark sky. His arms were crossed and his stance wide- he was coiled so tightly I was afraid he’d snap, like a rubber band pulled too tight.
“Hey.” I approached calmly, carefully.
He glanced at me over his shoulder and then turned his gaze back to the sunrise. “Hey.”
I moved to stand next to him and mimicked his pose. “So, I don’t know what Hendrix exactly meant by ‘contingency plan’ but-“
“It means we go and get them.”
I relaxed just the tiniest bit. Part of me was terrified of a plan that required we leave them behind if the situation got too dangerous for the family as a whole. No matter what Vaughan and Hendrix decided I was still planning on saving Hendrix’s sorry ass, but it was also nice to know I wouldn’t be going alone.
Before I could voice my relief, Vaughan continued, “We don’t leave each other behind- not anymore. I did that once before, Reagan, and I will not do it again. I will never leave one of us behind again.” He turned to face me and the cold determination in his expression made my heart stutter. He was so…. good at this leading thing. I hated that he felt so much guilt for his mom and dad, but he saved everyone else. I wanted him to see that- I wanted him to know he hadn’t failed, he had succeeded.
“Vaughan, your parents-“
“Reagan, you can give me the hero speech later, right now we need to save my brothers,”
I nodded, because, well, what else could I do?
“You’re up for this?” He clarified with a force behind his voice that twisted my heart inside my chest.
“Yes.”
“I’m not Hendrix,” he explained slowly. “I’m taking you because you’re my best option to save my family, not because I need to know where you are at all times. I trust you to be able to handle yourself.”
“I don’t want you to be Hendrix,” I snapped. “And I can handle myself.”
“Then lock and load, little girl. You and I are the cavalry.”
He turned around and walked inside. The screen door slammed shut behind him with an alarming finality.
Everyone knew Vaughan was the leader. While, Hendrix also led, he did not carry the responsibility of this family like Vaughan did. The difference between them was subtle, but obvious. Hendrix would always be the one risking his life to save the family- the first into the fray. And Vaughan would always be the one that saved Hendrix- that ensured the family stayed whole. They were both fighting for their family. They just had different ways of doing it.
I followed Vaughan inside and set about loading what guns I had left and finding places for them on my body. I had a small, canvas pull-strap backpack that I kept rolled up inside my larger one and I pulled that out and added a bottle of water, two energy bars and a flashlight on top of the three hand guns and various bullets I thought I needed. I tucked a hunting knife into my tall socks and secured it around my ankle with the strap tied to its sheath- even though it was uncomfortable and a little awkward, it stayed and it could possibly mean the difference between life and death for me. I slipped a pocket knife into the side pocket of my cargo pants and then borrowed a gun from Hendrix and a gun from Nelson to carry in my hands.
I was like the female version of Rambo.
Bad. Ass.
Well, truthfully, doubts and fear plagued my every thought. If I were honest- if I allowed myself to actually feel the cyclone of emotions uprooting my insides- then I would feel how terrifying this unknown enemy was, how anxious and sick with worry for Hendrix and Nelson I felt and how afraid of my own life I could cowardly acknowledge.
But for the sake of everyone involved I forced myself to push every last one of those thoughts into an air tight, locked box somewhere in the middle of my chest and ignore it. Fear would get me nowhere successful, and doubts would only cloud my decisions and actions. For Hendrix I would be strong- for the Parker family I would pretend to be everything I wasn’t.
I met Haley’s firm gaze as Vaughan laid out instructions for them to hide in the hidden pantry Miller had talked about last night. Vaughan had since been down to inspect it and there was in fact plenty of canned and dry food. It was also hidden behind a secret panel that might keep them safe should they be attacked while we were gone.
What was left unanswered was attacked by what? Human or Zombie?
When final instructions were given, Vaughan turned to me
and lifted his eyebrows. “Are you sure you want to do this? I don’t mind going alone.”
“But then tomorrow morning I’ll just have to come after you too,” I sighed as if annoyed. “It seems more efficient if I just go now and save you all at once.”
“Ha!” Harrison laughed, surprised by my quip. “Amazing that we survived at all without these two.”
“He’s right,” Haley drawled. Page’s head was resting in her lap and she was running her fingers through the sick little girl’s tangled, long blond curls. “It is, in fact, amazing.”
“Come on, Wonder Woman, let’s go save the day,” Vaughan walked by me and inclined his head toward the door.
I gave a small wave to Haley and then grinned at Harrison and King before I followed after. “I was thinking more like the female version of Rambo.”
Vaughan snorted and shook his head. Ok, so maybe I didn’t look as bad ass as I felt.
He bounded down the deck stairs and stopped in front of the minivan. Turning around he looked me over carefully.
“I have no idea where we’re going,” he admitted on a shrug. “That kid, Miller, said the camp was southeast of here. When I looked over the map, there was once a little town not far from here.”
“So that’s where you think they are?”
He shrugged, but his shoulders were tense. “Yes.”
“Are we driving or walking?”
“Walking.” And then he started. I hurried to catch up with him. “We have a better chance of running into them if we follow somewhat of the same path.” Vaughan pointed a finger at a slew of footprints in soft mud and I was beginning to understand that he was tracking them. “We also won’t cause a scene by driving up to a settlement.”
The minivan sounded like Sasquatch singing Ninety-Nine Bottles of beer on the wall after drinking ninety-nine bottles of beer- not pretty.
We set out toward the back of the property. We passed the outbuildings that were spread out on all the land that stretched between the house and the beginning of the fields. And then we skirted around the fields that were crop-less and barren from the last winter.
The sun was just barely gracing the day, low over the horizon and pale with morning light. The sky was gray with clouds and the air cold and breezy. We were still in early spring, and while I was convinced the landscape would never look fresh and green again, green grass was poking through the mud packed ground and leafless trees were budding but barely. The new life seemed so out of place when we were faced with ugly death every single day.
Winter had been miserable for Haley and I. But we were used to the ice cold temperatures and full feet of snow. We had managed to survive- mostly because we liked to cuddle and Zombies were slower with their feet entrenched in snow. They were resilient to a lot of things, but they froze just like the rest of us if left out in the elements.
Unfortunately, they were as resourceful when it came to survival as humans were- if not more so in some cases.
Finally, we made it to spring. The weather was usually cool, but not miserably so. It was always jeans and long-sleeved t-shirt weather- which was kind of perfect since it was better to keep as much skin covered as possible. We weren’t freezing every night, we weren’t perpetually wet because of all the snow and it wasn’t hot enough yet that the decaying world around us created the disgusting stench of rotting bodies that intermingled with the already pungent smell of Feeders.
“Vaughan, do you have a plan?” I asked in a small voice. I hated breaking the silence between us; it was both comfortable and necessary. But I also needed to know- mainly, so I didn’t f it up if he did.
“I have a goal,” he replied firmly. “Reagan, I will do anything to get my brothers back. You need to know that.”
“I do,” I whispered with conviction.
There was a few more minutes of silence between us before he explained, “I just don’t know what we’re getting into. Looking back, I should have pressed that kid for more information. But I never thought it would come to this. My brothers know how to handle themselves.”
He sounded so edgy and concerned that my stomach twisted with nerves. This was Vaughan- always-in-control-of-the-situation-Vaughan. He didn’t let things bother him, he adjusted and then adapted. He saw every scenario from every angle and knew exactly what to do in order to keep us all safe. If he was nervous about Hendrix and Nelson things did not look good for them.
“You’re worried about them?” I guessed.
“I’m worried about what we’re going to find. If someone or something has managed to detain my brothers, it’s formidable.”
“Yeesh,” I complained. “Way to reassure a girl.”
He flashed me a devilish grin, “Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize you’re the kind of girl that needs to be reassured.”
“Maybe I am,” I shrugged, but my tone was teasing. “Maybe I’m very insecure and need you to promise me everything will be alright.”
He laughed out loud and nudged me with his shoulder. “I’m thinking you’re more like the kind of girl that makes everything alright, even if it’s not.”
“There goes all my mystery,” I sighed. “I guess you have me all figured out.”
“Hardly,” he grunted. I opened my mouth to spout something witty or flirty or…. something, but he beat me to it with a, “You’re really worried about Hendrix, aren’t you?”
“And Nelson,” I admitted. “I don’t like that they’ve been gone the entire night. And I don’t like that we let them leave anyway.”
“I don’t either,” he said in a low voice.
We came to a wooded area that seemed to stretch on for a while. Light didn’t penetrate the thick canopy of branches above and the entire atmosphere seemed gloomy.
Ok, gloomy was the wrong word. These woods seemed f-ing haunted and I was a teensy bit reluctant to enter them.
“Nope,” I shook my head. “This is the fastest way to die.”
“Tracks,” Vaughan pointed down at the ground where the same set of footprints had reappeared near the edge of the forest. The mud was thicker under the shade and coolness of the trees, where the sun wouldn’t dry it out every day.
“It’s obvious why they never came back,” I grumbled. “They walked into these woods and were never heard from again…. because something ate them!”
“You’re not honestly scared of a bunch of trees and woodland creatures are you?” Vaughan turned to face me. He put both hands on my shoulders and peered into my eyes intently. I was comforted by that small touch and let out a deep breath.
“Vaughan, this place is where people come to die,” I insisted. “Look at it. This is probably where Freddy Krueger, Mike Meyers and the Wicked Witch of the West all hang out. Can’t we walk around it? Find the road?”
“The tracks, Reagan,” he pointed out again. “And let’s look at it this way. I’ve never seen any of those guys kill anyone first thing in the morning. I’m thinking they like to sleep in.”
I cracked a smile because I couldn’t help it, “Sleep in?”
“Obviously their serial killer ways keep them up all hours of the night. They probably just called it a day. We’re safe.”
“We’re safe,” I repeated as if saying it would make it true.
“You’re always scared of forests?”
“Only ones with gnarled branches, closely planted trees and ghosts.”
“So all forests. Got it.” He grinned at me again and I took a step forward- closer to him. I couldn’t help it, he was like the sun on a leaden morning like this and I wanted to gravitate around him. “You’re safe with me, Reagan.” His voice dropped and his dark blue eyes brightened with sincerity.
“I know,” I whispered. There was suddenly a thickness in my throat and I was having trouble finding my words.
There was a moment between us- charged and powerful. And then it dissipated like fog in the hot sun. It just fizzled out. And it wasn’t from my end. It was because of him. I felt him change and pull back and in a mo
ment there were miles between us- continents that stretched us apart.
“Ready?” he dropped his hands and took a step toward the cocooned darkness.
“Ready,” I sighed.
But I did feel safer and maybe even braver.
The inside of the woods only borrowed enough morning light for us to be able to see where we were going, but it shrouded everything in the distance. There was a quietness that wrapped around us that felt like a double edged sward. We could hear anything and everything as it moved over the snapping dead leaves and sticks, but that meant we could also be heard without disguise. As light as our footsteps were, there was no muffling the crunch-crunch of our feet on the forest floor.
“Reagan?” Vaughan broke through the crisp sounds of our feet making a path. His tone was carefully thoughtful and pang of nervous energy hit low me in the stomach.
“Yeah?”
“I believe my brothers are fine, that they are alive and that they are well.”
“Ok.”
“I just wanted that to be clear before I asked you this question,” he held up a branch for me to walk under and when I had passed by, he continued. “If I didn’t think that, we wouldn’t have this conversation, yeah?”
“Yeah.” I nodded and then swallowed over the huge lump in my throat.
“This thing with my brother…. he’s really serious about you.”
“I know,” I laughed, trying to ease the tension.
He did not laugh.
“Reagan, there is almost nothing I would fight my brother over. I mean, nothing.” He paused, letting the weight of his words settle over us. “Except maybe one thing. I know he’s claiming you like a damn barbarian, but you still have a choice. You still get to decide what you want.”
“I know that.” I could barely hear myself so I had no idea how he heard me.
He cleared his throat and seemed to struggle a minute before continuing, “I need to know, Reagan. I’m not asking you for anything serious or a commitment of any kind, but I need to know before I let myself get invested. You’re independent and head-strong, so I’m not foolish enough to think you won’t drop Hendrix the minute you don’t think he’s right for you. But if you do think he’s right…. I mean, if there’s a chance you think he’s it, then I’m cutting my losses before I can’t.”