Like a Charm

by Candace Havens

  “Uh, I didn’t know there was naked pictures in there,” Jason said with his Southern twang. “If I get somethin’ like that my momma’s gonna be mad.” Then he lifted his head. “Maybe you shouldn’t have them kind of books in a library. I mean there’s kids and stuff around.”

  I gave him my best serious look. “Yes, but we can’t censor art. It’s one of our greatest treasures.” Free access to information was the librarians’ creed. I’d learned that in the list of duties. I looked at my watch. “You boys better go home. I would imagine your parents are worrying. It’s almost five.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” they said in unison as they scurried out.

  Trying not to laugh, I followed them and locked the door behind them.

  Caleb clapped behind me. “I’d say you have the makings of one hell of a librarian.”

  I turned and leaned back against the door. “I’ve learned a lot in the last week.”

  “Want to tell me why you’re mad at me?”

  Picking up the book from the counter, I moved to the arts section to shelve it. “No.”

  He followed me. “What happened? A few days ago…Do you feel differently?”

  I couldn’t look at him. I was mad, but still very in love and I wouldn’t lie. “A few days ago I didn’t know you were a highly respected investigative reporter. You lied to me, and I can’t deal with that kind of thing.”

  “I didn’t lie, I just didn’t throw everything at you at once.”

  Walking around the back of the bookcase I moved to the front to turn off the lights. “You let me think you were a carpenter who wrote a few articles to pay the bills.” It sounded so stupid when I said it.

  “You’d rather I were a carpenter than a writer?”

  “It doesn’t matter to me what you do for a living, I just want to know the truth. I can’t stand people who lie.”

  He moved in front of me. “How can you say that? You’re a lawyer.”

  I glared at him. “I’m really not in the mood for bad lawyer jokes.”

  “I don’t know what to say, except I’m sorry. I don’t run around telling everyone what I do. It’s part of my nature to keep things close to the vest. If you’d asked me about the writing I would have told you, but I was more than happy for you to think it was something I did on the side.”

  Moving into the break room, I rinsed out the coffeepot. “It’s not just that. This, whatever it is.” I waved a hand. “We had one date. I don’t know where I’m going to be in two weeks. You’re here. Or in Dallas. It seems silly to get into something that can’t possibly work. I don’t want to do this. It’s not a good time for me to be involved with anyone. I’m a wreck, really. A total mess. And if I told you half the stuff that’s going on with me, you’d never believe me.”

  “You’re right.” He leaned back against the door frame.

  I almost dropped the pot. “Um, good. I’m glad you see reason.” I dried it off with a dish towel and set it down on the counter.

  “We should definitely go on a second date.”

  I swung around. “What? No, you didn’t hear me right. I can’t date you.”

  “Yep. Tonight.” He ignored me. “I think we should go to dinner and see if maybe that first date was a fluke. That’s what has you freaked out. No one ever has a first date that perfect. They’re supposed to be awkward and awful and then if you have the courage, you try it again. That’s how you find out if someone is worth the second date, if you’re willing to suffer through it all again.”

  I squinted. “I don’t think I’m following you.”

  “I’m asking you on a second date.”

  “I get that part, but I don’t get the reason why. I just told you this is fruitless. There’s no reason for us to go out again.” Even as I said the words I regretted them. There was nothing I wanted to do more than kiss him.

  “We’re going out on a second date, because that’s when people get to know each other. Then they go on a third date and learn even more. Hell, by the third date we might absolutely hate each other.”

  I took a deep breath. “I really like you, Caleb. You’re a nice guy, but let’s just part as friends. Please. My life has more complications than I can deal with at the moment, and I don’t have room for more.”

  His face fell.

  Be strong, Kira.

  “If that’s the way you want it.” He pushed off the wall and moved into the darkened library. Then he turned back. “Did you tell me everything?”

  “Uh.”

  “Did you? You want full disclosure, but you didn’t happen to mention what happened to you that made you so sick you were knocked out for almost a month. Or why you are really staying in a town that you ran away from years ago to keep this place open.”

  The picture of Melinda flashed through my mind. “Th-that’s not the same.” I stuttered a bit, and I never do that.

  “It’s exactly the same.” He stared at me. “Do you care about me?”

  “Yes.” I couldn’t lie.

  “I’m going to scare the hell out of you now.” Moving closer, he put his hands on my arms. “One date, and I think I’m in love with you.”

  I focused on his chest, unable to meet his eyes. There was no way this man could be in love with me. I mean, I’d fallen for him fast, but this wasn’t possible.

  “I know it’s crazy. I don’t fall in love. I’ve never fallen in love. But while I was gone all I could think about was you. Nearly got myself killed because of it. I wanted to kiss you again and to hold you against me.”

  My hands clenched by my sides, nerves so raw I was afraid to speak. It couldn’t be true. He was crazy.

  “Look at me.” He lifted my chin. “Tell me you didn’t think about me. That once I left, you didn’t dream about our night together on that dance floor.”

  “I don’t dream much.” It was a lie. I had dreams all the time now, many of them featuring Caleb as the leading man. I tried to pull my chin out of his hand, but he wouldn’t let me. I cut my eyes to the right. “Maybe I thought about it some.”

  “You’re honest to a fault,” he whispered. “You can’t lie. You won’t.” Leaning down, he kissed me. “Tell me you want me to leave, Kira,” he said against my lips.

  “Where were you?”

  “Just outside of Iraq.”

  I sighed. “What were you doing there?”

  “Working on a story.”

  “About?”

  He sighed. “I can’t tell you that until it breaks, but it has to do with arms dealers.”

  “You almost died?”

  He sat back on the edge of the table and pulled me with him. “Yes. We were on our way to an interview and I wasn’t paying attention and almost ran the Humvee off the road. I was thinking about a pretty, if stubborn, blonde in Sweet.”

  “You should pay more attention to the road,” I grumped.

  “Okay.” He tried hard not to smile, but I saw his grin.

  “I would have been really angry if you’d died.”

  He held up his hand in a scout’s-honor pose. “I promise to do better next time.”

  I wasn’t sure I could handle a next time. His job was dangerous and would always be so. Loving him meant signing up for that.

  “I don’t like that your job is so full of secrets. It scares me.”

  “One thing I’ve learned is that we all have secrets. There’s no getting around it. I know you have yours. I can see the sadness when it rolls over your face at odd times. And I hope someday you’ll be able to share that with me.

  “I’ll tell you anything you want to know if I can. I won’t lie to you, but I may not be able to tell you everything when it comes to the job.”

  I moved my arms up to encircle his neck. “I saw pictures of you. You were Dallas’s sexiest bachelor. There are tons of photos of you with different women there and in New York City.”

  He sighed again. “If you’re asking if I have a past, then the answer is yes. It’s only our second date, but if you want to know how
many women I’ve slept with I’ll tell you.” His brow furrowed. “What I can remember, anyway.”

  I groaned. The very idea of him in another woman’s arms was torture. “That’s terrible. And no, I don’t want to know. I just want to know why me, and why now?”

  “You’re smart, beautiful, and a mystery. Every time I see you I feel like I discover something new, and you always manage to surprise me. I’m beginning to believe that cliché that you can’t choose who you love, it just happens.”

  I laughed. I’m more reserved than most people I know, but I never thought of myself as mysterious. I liked that he saw me that way.

  “Love? Are you sure it isn’t lust?”

  He smirked. “I won’t lie. I want you in the worst way, but it’s more than that. Something more to do with this.” He pointed at my heart.

  I wanted him in the worst way too. “So this second date, is it going to take a lot of effort? It’s been a really long day.”

  “Hold on just a minute.” He walked into the library and came back with the roses, some grocery bags, and a tote full of items. “I was going to cook you dinner. Either here, or out at your parents’ house.”

  I pursed my lips. “You can cook?”

  “Yep.”

  “What did you bring?”

  He looked in the bag. “Fresh pasta and stuff to make my own marinara, and meatballs. Caesar salad, and some fudge brownie cheesecake from Mr. Owen.”

  “Huh. Well, I’d hate for all that food to go to waste.” I sighed. “I kind of like spaghetti and meatballs.”

  Setting everything on the counter, he reached for me and kissed me hard until I was breathless.

  I opened my eyes to see him staring at me again, as if he were trying to read my mind.

  “Yes.” I cleared my throat. “I’m definitely hungry.”

  A slow smile slipped over his face. “I think I can do something about that.”

  Chapter 19

  I don’t want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again.

  THIS SIDE OF PARADISE

  By Fitzgerald, F. Scott (Francis Scott), 1896–1940

  Call #: F-FIT

  Description: 243 p.; 24cm

  Dinner was amazing. Caleb’s meatballs were delicious. (Yes, I know that sounds disgusting.) In his tote bag he had candlesticks with tapers and a beautiful creamy lace tablecloth from Ireland.

  It was romantic and sexy, and I couldn’t wait to see how the night developed.

  He helped wash up the dishes, and while I dried them he popped a movie into the DVD player. This one was Bringing Up Baby, another of my Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn favorites. He had thought of everything.

  As I dried the final plate and put it back in the cabinet, I made up my mind. I’d follow this thing between us through and see where it went. My life was in such chaos, what was one more thing?

  Determined, I made my way to the couch and found Caleb sound asleep.

  The man can’t handle his carbs. Poor guy probably needed a short nap after his travels. I slid off his shoes and pulled his legs up on the couch so he could stretch out. Grabbing the quilt from the back of the sofa, I pulled it over him.

  I turned on the DVD and made sure the volume was low so it wouldn’t wake him. I sat down in the cushy recliner. Lost in the antics of Hepburn and Grant, I forgot about Caleb until the ending credits came up.

  When I glanced over, he was still sound asleep. I laughed. Okay. Well, this was one exciting second date.

  Getting up, I turned off the television and went in search of a book to read. I’d brought a few up from the library and stored them in the bookcases. In the mood for something light and funny, I picked Gil’s All Fright Diner by A. Lee Martinez. I’d read the first couple of chapters a few nights before and he made me laugh with his story of vampires, werewolves, zombie cows, and a teen witch.

  I took the knitted dark green afghan off the bed and sat on the recliner. Caleb snored softly, and I settled down to read.

  The next thing I knew someone tickled my ear.

  I squinted one eye open. Caleb was lightly brushing my earlobe with his finger.

  I smiled. “So you woke up.”

  He laughed. “I’m so sorry. I was in such a rush to get here I didn’t sleep for two days.”

  That he couldn’t wait to see me made his falling asleep worthwhile. “Don’t worry about it. What time is it?”

  “About midnight. I feel terrible; I ruined our date.”

  “Seriously, don’t even think about it. You made me a great meal, and I had fun watching the movie.”

  He sighed. “I can’t believe I fell asleep. I’m such an idiot. I was so mortified I almost snuck out while you rested, but I didn’t want to leave without telling you good-bye. I know you have to work tomorrow.”

  I didn’t want him to go. “We never had the cheesecake.”

  His eyebrows went up.

  “You can’t leave without having dessert.” I jumped up and headed for the kitchen. Before he could refuse, I placed a couple of pieces on some plates. “What would you like to drink?”

  “Do you have any milk?”

  “Sure.” I pulled it out of the fridge and poured us each a healthy glass.

  “Wow! You drink the real stuff.”

  “Oh, yeah. Whole milk, there’s no other way to go. Who needs that watered down stuff?”

  “You are a girl after my own heart.” He clinked his glass against mine. “Sláinte.”

  The dessert was delicious. Trying not to lick off Caleb’s milk moustache was tough.

  “That should be against the law,” I said as I finished the final bite.

  “Pretty darn good. I’m going to warn Mr. Owen that he needs to keep a few of those on hand at all times. He said it was a new recipe he was trying out, and he seemed pleased that I wanted to try it.”

  We both stood for a moment staring at each other, and for the first time things were awkward. I didn’t want him to leave, but I didn’t know how to tell him to stay.

  “Thanks for tonight.” My words came out as a whisper.

  “No, thank you.” He smiled. “I really am sorry for falling asleep. It was a dumb thing to do.”

  “Nah. I kind of liked watching you. Oh, and did you know you snore?”

  “Do not,” he grumbled.

  “Oh, it’s not bad, but you definitely do. I thought it was sexy, in a manly kind of way.”

  He snorted. “If you say so.”

  Another moment passed.

  Reaching, he took my hand. “Come here.”

  His lips met mine in a soft embrace that grew steadily stronger. So much so that it was making me dizzy. I backed away and took his hand, leading him to the couch.

  I sat down, and he did the same. We stared at each other again and then I leaned into him. That’s all it took.

  Crushing me against him, he kissed me senseless. I wanted him in the worst way.

  “Kira.” He was short of breath and his cheeks were flushed. He ran his hands through my hair. “God, you’re beautiful.”

  This time I kissed him, sending everything I felt for him into it.

  “I want you.” He whispered the words. His hands squeezed my butt tighter to him and I could feel his hardness. It excited me and scared the hell out of me.

  It was like a splash of cold water, pulling me out of the heat of him.

  “I can’t.” I sat up.

  He blinked. “What?”

  “I can’t, um, do this.”

  He blinked again. “Oh.”

  I climbed off of him and stood. “I’m an awful person. I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to…” Lead you on. Was it leading him on when I wanted him so bad it hurt?

  He waved a hand. “No, no. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have let things get out of hand. I’m sorry, Kira. You know I want you, and I don’t want to push you or move too fast.”

  My laugh held a tinge of hysteria. Nerves. “Please don’t apologize. I think it’s more than evident that
I wanted you too.”

  My stomach queasy, I wrapped my hands around my waist. “It’s just—I have no idea how to tell you this.” It was something I’d never shared with anyone. Not even Justin knew, and he was someone who was aware of my dating secrets. He’d been my best girlfriend for the last few years, and in drunken stupors we’d often shared entirely too much information, but only my GYN and I knew this particular bit.

  He frowned. “What? We established earlier that you could tell me anything.”

  I backed away. I needed some space. If he doesn’t take the information well, then this isn’t meant to be. “Okay.” I cleared my throat. “In the interest of full disclosure, there’s something I have to tell you.”

  “Are you married?” His voice held a tinge of worry.

  “God, no. What kind of woman do you think I am?” I stopped my pacing.

  “A beautiful one. Apologies, it was the first thing that came to mind. Just tell me. Whatever it is, it will be okay.”

  I put a hand to my forehead, pushing my hair out of my face.

  “Truth is, Caleb…I’m…a virgin.”

  * * *

  Five Ways to Tell a Man You’re a Virgin

  Hi, my name is Kira, and I’m a virgin.

  Oh, that old thing? It’s just a hymen.

  Have I got a big surprise for you!

  Do you like cherries with that?

  Yeah, I’m a virgin. Now what are you going to do about it?

  * * *

  Chapter 20

  Let men tremble to win the hand of woman, unless they win along with it the utmost passion of her heart.

  THE SCARLET LETTER

  By Hawthorne, Nathaniel, 1804–1864

  Call #: F-HAW

  Description: vi, 169 p.; 23cm

  There was silence, except for the wind whipping the trees against the windows.

  Then he put a hand against his chest. “I think I almost had a heart attack.”

  “Why, because I’m a virgin? I know we’re rare…”

  “No, no. I just thought you were going to say something like you’d decided to be a nun or that you had some incurable disease. I think my heart stopped.” He laughed. “Sorry, sorry. I’m being an insensitive jerk.” Standing, he grabbed me and hugged me hard. “God. You really scared me.”