by Jill Hunting
Song looks farther down the highway. “From there, they could see him coming. They could see he was an American. You said he was tall and had blond hair. It was easy to see him.”
Ghe lam.
Very dangerous.
ONE
The Brunt of It
In the Mekong Delta, a 24-year-old American civilian aid worker, Peter Hunting of Oklahoma City, was killed in a guerilla ambush today. Officials said that Hunting was led to his death by two Vietnamese, apparently Vietcong agents, who had posed as his friends.
— Excerpt from the transcript of the CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite, Friday, November 12, 1965, 6:30 – 7:00 P.M., eastern standard time
E
very morning before high school, my sister Holly and I put on our makeup and fixed our hair leaning over two maroon sinks in front of a large mirror in the bathroom. Holly was two years older, and I tried to copy the way she teased and combed her hair and applied liquid eyeliner in a straight line. As a sophomore I was just learning these skills, and in Oklahoma City and our crowd they were important.
Outside our little enclave was a hallway and a black telephone, the only one in our house. My parents believed the telephone was for business. It was definitely not there for teenagers to indulge in rehashing the day’s events with friends. All conversations were to be limited to three minutes, and to enforce this regulation my father had placed an egg timer on the shelf where the phone rested. When the last grain of sand dropped through the little hourglass, time was up. Holly and I got around this by keeping our voices down and inverting the timer when we heard Dad coming. Naturally, there was no chair in the hallway and the phone had a short cord.
The telephone rang around seven o’clock on the morning of Friday, November 12, 1965. There was a football game that night, and Holly and I were already dressed in our Pep Club uniforms. We went to a large public high school, and our football team, the Putnam City Pirates, was one of the best in the state. Football games were important social occasions even if, like me, you knew nothing about sports.
The caller, a man, asked to speak with my father. Years later I was astonished to learn that Holly recalled answering the phone, while I distinctly remembered taking the call and summoning Dad. He and Mom were in their bedroom. Dad came out and must have signaled to us to go into my room. From just a few feet away, behind the closed door, we stood listening to his voice. He spoke quietly and seriously. We couldn’t hear what he was saying, but it was clear from his grave tone that something bad had happened. He hung up the phone and returned in silence to his bedroom.
I thought someone must have died, but who? Was it my grandmother in Connecticut? My other sister, Carol, who was married and lived in St. Louis? I knew there was a war in Vietnam, but it didn’t enter my mind that the bad news concerned my only brother, Pete.
Then we heard a terrifying shriek coming from my parents’ bedroom. It was my mother. Not knowing what was happening was as frightening to me as the sound of her cry.
Holly and I waited for what seemed like a long time before Dad returned to us. He explained that Pete had been killed in a land mine explosion. I had never heard of a land mine, but somehow I understood that it was a kind of bomb and Pete had driven over it.
Many years later I found the notes my father had jotted during the phone call. He had grabbed a pencil and the nearest piece of paper, which happened to be the Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association monthly forecast for domestic flight routes. Bearing down so hard that the pencil lead left a rut, he wrote two names, John Hughes and Don Luce, and the words “Peter killed Land Mine Kan Tu.”
It was the saddest piece of paper I had ever seen: the deep creases his hand had carved, the phonetic rendering of the city Can Tho as “Kan Tu.” Dad was an excellent speller. No one could beat him at Scrabble except, occasionally, Mom. He would never have misspelled a word unless it was a proper noun he didn’t know, and even then, under ordinary circumstances, he would have asked how to spell it. He must have carried that paper into the bedroom when he told my mother. Did it shake in his hand?
A stream of my parents’ friends began to arrive at the house. There were phone calls to and from our relatives, many in Connecticut and a few in New York, Illinois, and Indiana. Casseroles and desserts appeared and were set out on a large table at the end of the living room. I looked at the food but didn’t feel hungry. Some of it went into a freestanding freezer in the garage. I recall a pineapple upside-down cake wrapped loosely in foil, which remained there for months, maybe years.
It was still morning when someone turned on the radio and we heard a man announce our personal tragedy to the world. Driving in the Mekong Delta, the voice said, Peter Morse Hunting, a twenty-four-year-old civilian with International Voluntary Services (IVS), had been killed when his vehicle hit a land mine. “Thank God he died instantly,” someone in the room said.
My parents kept their composure as, throughout the day, adults came and went. Friends and neighbors stood in the kitchen or sat helplessly in the living room. At one point, to avoid their searching stares, I buried my head in Holly’s lap and cried. My parents were not demonstrative and there was no hugging, nor did they take us aside to talk with us. Holly and I were on our own to figure out how to behave or fill the long hours of that day, and I suppose my parents were, too.
Just two days earlier, I had turned fifteen. Smaller and less developed than most of the girls in my class, I was barely an adolescent. In early childhood I had been scrawny. Whenever my mother recited a line from the Mother Goose rhyme “Monday’s Child,” which she seemed to think described me — “the child that is born on the Sabbath day is bonny and blithe and good and gay” — Pete would make a joke and change the word “bonny” to “boney.” As an adult I learned that I was born on a Friday and wondered if my mother had ever understood me.
My three siblings and I were born in two sets. Pete and my sister Carol, whom we called Cis, were eighteen months apart. A six-year gap followed, then came Holly and, two years later, me. We thought of ourselves as two pairs, but not two alliances. Mom avoided singling any of us out and usually praised us as a unit. “You kids are special!” she would say when she was proud of us. She placed a high value on loyalty and taught us not to criticize each other. Once when Cis, eight years older than I, was getting ready for a date, I noticed that her slip was showing. I whispered my observation to Mom. She said not to tell Cis, as if it were a criticism and not something she would want to know.
Before we moved to Oklahoma, my brother, sisters, and I had been 4-H members in Dexter, Missouri. One day the leader gave a lesson on grooming. We were supposed to decide who in the group had the cleanest fingernails. I carefully considered each of the nominees’ hands before I voted. After the meeting Pete scolded me because I hadn’t voted for Holly. “You always vote for your sister,” he said.
He had shown the same loyalty to Cis on her first day of high school, where the custom was for upperclassmen to initiate freshmen by scribbling on their faces with lipstick. Before Pete and Cis left home to walk to school, he took a tube of the scarlet color Mom always wore and gently wrote on Cis’s cheeks and forehead so the other kids would leave her alone.
Cis was a newlywed of three months when Pete was killed. Dad called her husband, Frank, at work. He immediately went home to break the news to Cis and could hardly get the words out before he began weeping. They went for a walk in the park. Fresh snow muffled every sound, and the world was still and beautiful. One day years later, Cis was driving alone when she found herself inexplicably overcome with grief. Then she realized that it was a day of quiet, fresh snow — like the one when she learned Pete had been killed.
A couple who lived next door to us were driving home from Dallas that day. Mrs. Storment had gotten into the car, laid the Dallas Times Herald on her lap without looking at it, and set her purse on top. She and her husband talked all the way to Oklahoma City. After four hours, they turned onto our street and saw lines of park
ed cars. Only then did Mrs. Storment look down at the newspaper and see the story about Pete.
Newspapers across the country carried the story, as did radio stations. Gloria Johnson, who had known Pete as a fellow volunteer in Vietnam, had returned to the United States and was living in Corvallis, Oregon. “The words from the radio brought me out of a dead sleep,” she remembers. “They were something like, ‘Peter Hunting, of International Voluntary Services, was ambushed when he passed a military convoy.’ I was shocked and saddened. We all thought that we were invincible — that no VC would want to kill us. We were the good guys, after all. Didn’t even carry a gun. I was amazed when a grenade was set for me in a small town in which I lived, on a path that I routinely took. That was a very big clue that we weren’t any more popular than the military — at least to the VC.”
Another teammate, William Meyers, had also returned from his tour with IVS and was recruiting for the organization on college campuses. News of Pete’s death reached his alma mater, Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut, while Willi was meeting with students there.
The next day, in Boston, a young nurse who had dated Pete during college and for a time expected to marry him received a phone call from her mother: “Sue, have you seen the New York Times?” Unable to tell her daughter what she had just read, Mrs. Patterson insisted, “Go find a copy of the Times.” Sue hurried out to find a paper and saw Pete’s photograph and, beneath it, the headline “Vietcong’s Ambush of U.S. Aid Worker Laid to 2 ‘Friends.’ ”
Within hours of the phone call to our home, the Associated Press and United Press International were reporting that Pete was not killed by a land mine. First, we had struggled to believe that he was dead. It was almost impossible to take in that he had been the victim of a deliberate and brutal attack.
From Saigon, the Associated Press reported that a military convoy had found Pete’s body alongside his bullet-riddled vehicle. He had been shot through the head five times. Ten more rounds had been fired into his body. Two passengers who were seen with him had presumably escaped injury and left with the Viet-cong. According to the wire story,
Hunting had departed with the two Vietnamese from the Delta city of Vinh Long. They were on their way to Can Tho, 20 miles away and about 100 miles south of Saigon. . . .
The guerrillas opened fire on the convoy, but quickly broke contact when the troops returned the fire.
The International Voluntary Service [sic] is a private, nonprofit organization under contract to the United States aid mission in South Vietnam. It employs about 60 people specializing in agriculture, education and public health.1
A story in the Oklahoma City Times opened with the Associated Press account and continued with locally reported information. My father was identified as an examination specialist with the Federal Aviation Administration. He had been informed of his son’s death by telephone, the story said. He expected to learn more when the caller, who was not identified, had more information. The article continued:
In July the younger Hunting began his second two-year tour in Viet Nam after spending a two-month leave at home.
He spent his first two years working with youths in flood relief and English teaching programs.
In a recent letter, he wrote: “The Vietnamese have long felt that Saigon, the government and the Vietnamese educated classes were progressing without concern for the agricultural countryside.”
Hunting’s latest mission was to help bridge the gap between governmental and agricultural growth.2
At some point my parents turned their attention to arrangements for services in Connecticut, where our family roots were and where we spent nearly every summer. We would fly to New Haven, and in the meantime my Uncle Jim would receive Pete’s body. Memorial and graveside services would take place in Woodbridge, where Mom’s immediate family lived. My parents had lived there, too, in the early years of their marriage. Pete and Cis had spent their childhoods in one of the houses on the farm that had been in my family for generations.
Bill and Tiny Waite, who had been members of my parents’ wedding party, had also lived in a house on the farm. Now Bill Waite was a music professor at Yale. Some of the students and faculty there were protesting America’s deepening involvement in Vietnam. Senator Barry Goldwater, a conservative Republican who had lost the previous year’s presidential election to Lyndon Johnson, had just spoken in favor of U.S. foreign policy at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church in New Haven.
On November 17 the Yale Daily News published a letter from Professor Waite. Referring to Pete by his first name only (presumably because his death was widely reported), he began by stating that he had known Pete since the day he was born. He remembered the boy who had built “highly improbable soapbox racing cars” and grown into “a builder of human lives and dignity.” Praising Pete’s work with Vietnamese peasants, Waite denounced the Vietcong as destroyers of builders and leaders. Then, as if to scorn those in the Yale community who would not dirty their hands or risk their lives to volunteer in Vietnam, he expressed the hope that some on campus would mourn Pete’s passing. The letter concluded by noting pointedly that Pete was a direct descendant of “another builder,” one of Yale’s founders.3
At least two members of my family learned about Pete’s death from Walter Cronkite. My great-aunt and great-uncle, who had not yet received a call from the family, watched the CBS Evening News in shock from their home in Florida. Aunt Miriam wrote to another relative that Cronkite “announced Pete’s death with so much dignity and evident feeling that after the first unbelieving moments we felt that it might have been a good way to hear it.” My family did not turn on the television that evening, and I did not find out about the broadcast until many years later.
Just a few months before, when Pete visited the family in Connecticut between tours in Vietnam, many of our relatives were eager to hear his opinion of the escalating war and how it was affecting his work. “Do you go armed?” Aunt Miriam asked. Pete replied that, no, the sight of a gun was an excuse for someone to shoot you.
I was full of questions I didn’t think I could ask. I wondered who the two Vietnamese were, why they had betrayed my brother, and how anyone could have wanted to kill him. I overheard my parents telling other adults that Pete had said he was sometimes followed by Vietcong. There were whispers that he may have been so well liked by his Vietnamese friends and colleagues that the Vietcong considered him a threat. A Christian Science Monitor clipping I found many years later supported this notion. Above the headline “Cheerful greeting” was a photograph of Pete in his jeep, with a large group of children waving at him in the background. The caption stated that IVS’s efforts to improve the U.S. image were apparently too successful, because Pete had been ambushed the previous week.
That an IVS volunteer’s very acceptance could have placed him in danger is given credence by John Balaban, a former IVSer, in his Vietnam memoir, Remembering Heaven’s Face. In 1967, two years after Pete’s death, forty-nine team members signed an open letter to President Johnson denouncing the war as “an overwhelming atrocity.” The letter was published on the front page of the New York Times and hand-carried by an IVS volunteer to Communist North Vietnam’s embassy in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Balaban recalled a Vietnamese official’s chilling response to the letter: “By doing good works, you are doing wrong, for you confuse the people about the aim of the American imperialists.”4 Balaban’s friends in South Vietnam told him that the protest letter had convinced them of IVS’s good intentions; one admitted that, until then, they had thought he was with the CIA.
Another team member, Carl Stockton, said that one of the greatest struggles of IVS was to convince Vietnamese that the group’s motives were altruistic. There was a basic assumption, he said, that Westerners were “complicit and therefore not to be trusted.”
IVS volunteers in Vietnam accepted risk as a part of life. The view expressed by Larry Laverentz, who at one time shared a house with Pete, was common among the unmarried men on the t
eam: “You had freedom and independence. You’re a single guy, you have no family, you can take risks. You got used to it.” Bill Betts, who worked in malaria eradication, recorded thirty different attempts on his life that he never mentioned to anyone while he was in Vietnam. Another volunteer, Bob Biggers, hoped his IVS team leader wouldn’t think he sounded cowardly when he informed him, “Today the V.C. attempted to assassinate me.”5
Because news reports said that Pete had been led to his death and I heard nothing to the contrary at home, I didn’t question this story. My parents didn’t discuss what had happened, and all I knew was what I observed and overheard. I had been told more times than I could count that children should be seen and not heard. I kept my curiosity to myself.
In my passage from adolescence to adulthood, losing my brother would be the still point around which my world turned as I reached the milestones of applying to college, addressing wedding invitations, and sending out birth announcements — all without the fullness of sharing them with the brother I never forgot. The feelings of bewilderment and insecurity I experienced on that traumatic November day in 1965 would revisit me for years to come as I faced life decisions. At a pivotal developmental stage, I did not learn how to ask questions about what mattered most to me. I had no voice with which to explore important issues. As the youngest of four children I was already observant. With Pete’s death and the family silence that enveloped it, I also became cautious.
Although I did not talk about Pete, I thought about him a lot. I didn’t know much about his life in Vietnam. It wasn’t until his letters surfaced in 2004 and I studied them that I fully understood what he had been doing.