I Forgot to Tell You

by Charis Marsh

  Alexandra ran to get her purse and coat, and then followed Justin to his car, getting in the passenger seat beside him. She wanted to say thanks, but it didn’t seem appropriate, so instead she said, “Why do you have to date Anna?”

  Justin whistled, annoyed. “I can’t wait until you turn into a normal human being and start liking boys. I like Anna because she’s cool, and funny, and hot.” He reached out and turned on the radio, adjusting it to the Peak and beginning to sing along to the latest Mumford and Sons track.

  Alexandra frowned. Justin could actually sing, and play the guitar, and she thought it was one of the coolest things about him. Actually, she thought her brother in general was pretty cool, so why did he have to be so stupid? “But why do you have to date someone from my school?” she demanded. “Like, are there not enough girls at UBC? Besides, don’t you feel like a pedo?”

  “Not particularly, no,” Justin said dryly. “Look, I’m sorry, but you’re overreacting. And she’s only two years younger than me. Not even, a year and a half.”

  Alexandra leaned back in her chair, the better to sulk.

  Justin sighed. “Look, Alexandra, just give it up, please? Could you once, just once, act like the world doesn’t revolve around you? I really like her, okay? I don’t want you being dramatic and difficult to ruin this.” He looked over at her, giving her his best guilt-inducing expression.

  Alexandra sighed. “Okay. Fine. But it won’t last, she’s horrible.” They drove the rest of the way listening to the music and not talking.

  Alexandra hopped out of the car and ran to the house, knocking on the door. “Hi, Mr. Yu,” she said as he answered the door.

  He stared down at her, confused. “What you want?”

  “Is Julian here?”

  “Julian!” Mr. Yu shouted back into the house. Julian hurried out. “Lexi wants you.” Mr. Yu crossed his arms, waiting to hear what Alexandra wanted.

  “Uh, I’m going to go over to her house for dinner,” Julian explained awkwardly. “Okay?”

  “Okay? Mrs. Yu has already made dinner. You no eat here, okay, but you tell us!”

  “Sorry, Mr. Yu,” Alexandra said. “That’s my fault, I invited him late.”

  “Your fault? Okay, okay.” Julian quickly put on his shoes and followed Alexandra out to Justin’s car. Alexandra could feel Mr. Yu watching them curiously from the doorway.

  Julian got in the back, and as soon as they had started to drive, he turned to Justin. “What’s this about you dating Anna?”

  “I am,” Justin said firmly.

  “Oh, cool.” Julian relaxed back in his seat. “Love this radio station.”

  “Me, too,” Justin agreed. They drove back to the Dunstan home.

  As soon as they entered the house, Justin ditched them to go get changed, and Alexandra and Julian were left awkwardly looking at each other. “Uh — want to come up to my room?”

  “Sure.” Julian shrugged. They walked up the stairs and Alexandra pushed open the door of her room. “Holy frickin’ crap!” Julian stepped into her room and began to turn around, trying to absorb what he saw.

  “What?” asked Alexandra, worried by his shock.

  “I have never seen so many ballet posters in my life!” Julian stepped up onto her bed without asking in order to get a better look at the posters. “Geez. Polina Semionova, Natalia Osipova and Ivan Vasiliev (I really like this one!), Bridgett Zehr, Irina Dvorovenko?”

  Alexandra nodded. “Yup.”

  “Daniil Simkin, Tetsuya Kumakawa, Alina Cojocaru …” Julian fell to the bed, giving up. “Too many.”

  “Since when do you know names of famous ballet dancers?” Alexandra asked, surprised. “You never seemed to know who anyone was before.”

  Julian shrugged. “Um, I’ve been reading Theresa Bachman’s autobiography and she talks about a lot of other famous dancers. Plus, I guess I figured I should start learning who these people are, right? But I’m not sure I want them all up on my wall.”

  “Well, what do you have up on your wall?” Alexandra asked defensively.

  Julian thought. “Stuff. A few ballet posters. But, like, a lot of different stuff.”

  “Well, I like my posters.” Alexandra turned to her dresser and began to fix her eyeliner.

  Julian looked around, trying to digest the room. “It’s so clean.”

  Alexandra grimaced. “Does that mean yours isn’t?”

  “Uh —” Julian quickly changed the subject. “So, have you done your homework yet?”

  “Mostly. I still have some more to finish.” Alexandra reached for her pile of binders and textbooks, and Julian opened up his backpack. They arranged themselves on opposing sides of Alexandra’s bed, and Alexandra started to work. Julian stared thoughtfully at his notebook, chewing on his pencil.

  “You done the Social Studies assignment?” he asked suddenly.

  Alexandra didn’t bother looking up. “Yes.”

  “Can I look at it?”

  “No.”

  “I came all the way out here for you, and I still don’t know why. Please? I won’t copy it; I just want to look at it.”

  “Fine!” Alexandra passed it to him.

  Julian began reading it, his mouth forming the words as he read.

  “Please stop that.”

  “Uh, okay …”

  “Alexandra, dinnertime!” Beth called from downstairs. Alexandra hopped up, going to the mirror and fixing her hair. “Okay.” She took a deep breath in. “Come on, let’s go.”

  Julian followed her out of her room, down the hall, to the dining room. Justin and Anna were sitting on the couch, waiting for dinner, and Anna looked up, seeming a bit nervous, as Alexandra and Julian walked into the room.

  “What are you doing here, Julian?” Anna said, surprised to see him.

  Julian shrugged. “Just hanging out.”

  “With Lexi?”

  “No, the dog,” Julian said with a straight face, petting the large golden retriever that had just padded into the living room. “Hey boy, good doggy-dog-dog.”

  Anna shook her head, confused. “Okay, whatever.”

  “Guys, come and eat,” Beth called. They all went into the dining room. Emma was already sitting down, waiting for her dinner and Justin and Alexandra both sat down. Anna went into the kitchen to help Beth bring in the dishes. “Thank you, dear,” Beth said, smiling at her. Justin quickly hopped up from his chair and began to help out, as well. Alexandra heaved a great sigh and rolled her eyes. Julian, who had been standing around, unsure of his role in this drama, sat down next to Alexandra. Emma rested her chin in her hands, staring off into space.

  “What’s up?” Julian asked Emma.

  “Emma, Julian. Julian, my little sister Emma,” Alexandra said in a monotone.

  Emma turned to Julian, ignoring her sister. “I got second.”

  “Oh,” said Julian. “That’s pretty good still. In what?”

  “A gymnastics competition. And no, it sucks, because I lost against my best friend, and now we aren’t best friends.”

  “How come? What happened?”

  “I was mad at her after the competition because she was being mean and rude, so I pushed her off a stone wall in the parking lot, and now her tooth’s chipped, and Mom has to pay for the dentist and I have to pay Mom back for it.” Emma sighed darkly.

  “Ah,” Julian said. Alexandra could see his mouth twitch as he tried not to giggle. “That sucks.”

  Alexandra started to grin despite herself, seeing the situation from Julian’s point of view. “Oh, Emma …”

  “Don’t laugh at me!” Emma kicked Alexandra under the table, and Alexandra stopped laughing to glare at her.

  Beth, Anna, and Justin came in with the dishes, and they all sat down. “Where’s Dad?” Emma asked.

  “He’s in Seattle, working,” Justin answered.

  “Yes,” Beth agreed. “Would you pass Anna the potatoes, Emma?”

  Emma passed them silently. “Don’t you dance with Lexi?�
�� she asked.

  Anna nodded. “Well, sort of,” she amended. “I used to. Now I dance with a different school.” She spoke with the sort of condescending voice that people who have never really been around kids use to talk to kids, and Emma’s eyebrows rose with all of the disbelief that her eleven-year-old self was capable of. She looked across the table at her sister. Alexandra shrugged and nodded. Even Emma gets how horrible she is. WTF, Justin …

  The dinner passed painfully slowly in Alexandra’s opinion, and seemed to be entirely too dominated by Beth asking Anna questions, and Anna answering them in a way Alexandra found painful. To make matters worse, Beth kept glaring at Alexandra and signalling with her eyes for her to eat. By the end Alexandra wanted nothing more than to slap Anna, so she did the next best thing; grabbed Julian’s arm and fled the downstairs, making for her room. “Shouldn’t we help with the dishes?” Julian asked.

  “Definitely not,” Alexandra said firmly. “Here — I’m just going to be a moment, have to go and do something — can you sit here and do your homework? Or, here’s my laptop, you can go on Facebook or whatever. Don’t look at anything though.”

  “Um, okay …”

  Alexandra left him in her room, closing the door carefully behind her, and fled to the upstairs bathroom. Stupid, stupid, stupid Justin, ugh! She peered at herself in the mirror, she was barely able to focus she was so upset. Her stomach stuck out. Oh god … She bent down and quickly threw up most of the night’s meal, then brushed her teeth. She hurried, thinking of Julian in her room. He could really be doing almost anything. She didn’t want him to dig through her desk and find her application forms for the Royal Ballet School, San Francisco Ballet School, or Jackie Kennedy Onassis School, or to look on her shelf and find the science quiz that she had forgotten to study for and gotten a 66 percent on, or anything else she couldn’t remember that was embarrassing …

  She walked out of the door fixing her ponytail, and didn’t notice Julian in the dark hallway. “Hey,” he said, his voice sounding loud in the silence of the upstairs.

  “Agh!” Alexandra jumped.

  Downstairs they could hear the sounds of dishes clattering together, and Beth’s laughter.

  “What are you doing here?” Alexandra asked quietly, once her heart rate had calmed down. “Is something wrong?”

  Julian shrugged. “You tell me,” he suggested.

  “Okaaay then, nothing’s wrong. Come on; let’s go back to my room. I’ll make Justin drive you back home after Anna has finished sucking up to my mother a little more.”

  Julian followed her to her bedroom, and sat down on the bed. “You want to maybe tell me about what just happened?”

  “No, I don’t,” Alexandra snapped. “Nothing happened.” She picked up her homework and held it to her, suddenly fascinated with her search for a paper somewhere in the pile.

  Julian chose his next words carefully. “Look — I’m not trying to be judgmental here. Or to accuse you of anything, or to help you. Honestly? I don’t care what you do. I’m just sort of … curious.”

  Alexandra sat next to him on the bed. “You’re curious?” I don’t care if he knows, not really, not if he doesn’t care and he doesn’t tell anyone.

  “Yes,” said Julian.

  Alexandra’s face suddenly lit up. “Jules, in your grade seven, was everyone always obsessed with Truth or Dare?”

  “Yeah,” Julian laughed. “I always picked dare.”

  “Let’s play right now. Except, the person asking gets to pick truth or dare.”

  Julian paused, considering. “All right. But no cheating.”

  “Deal.” They turned to face each other on the bed, cross-legged with their hands palms up and resting on their knees like they were about to meditate.

  Alexandra giggled nervously. “Who goes first?”

  “Rock, Paper, Scissors.”

  “Okay,” Alexandra agreed. They poised their fists and counted to three before throwing. Alexandra chose scissors and Julian opted for paper.

  “I lose,” Julian said good-naturedly.

  “Best out of three?”

  “No, go ahead.”

  Alexandra scrunched her eyes shut, trying to think of the perfect question. Suddenly her eyes flew open. “Got it. Are you gay or straight?”

  Julian’s mouth flew open. “Out of all the things you could ask me, that’s the one that you were most curious about?”

  Alexandra shrugged. “Well, not exactly me. But certain people would really like to know.”

  Julian grimaced. “Tristan?”

  “You got it.” Julian bit his lip, wavering. Alexandra was confused. “Dude, what’s the big deal? Nobody really cares. It’s not like we’re gonna hate you no matter which one you pick. I’ll even promise not to tell anyone if you want.” Alexandra subtly crossed her fingers as she tucked her left hand under her pillow. I have to tell Tristan if I find out.

  “It’s just —” Julian was strangely at loss for words. “I don’t know!”

  Alexandra blinked. “What do you mean? How can you not know?”

  Julian shrugged. “How are you supposed to know, anyway? But I don’t want to date Tristan.”

  “Okay.” Alexandra thought. She thought so hard that she forgot to worry about what she had to answer next. “You really don’t know, though?”

  “No.” Julian considered. “Do you think that means that I’m gay?”

  Alexandra shrugged. “No, I think you just don’t like anyone yet. I guess you’ll find out when you find out. Until then, you’ll just have to be the mandatory straight dude.”

  “What?”

  “Well, you know how like on a TV show they’ll stick a non-Caucasian actor on to look ethnic, or a gay guy to look accepting? In dance, almost everyone is a girl or gay, so the shows always have a mandatory straight guy. That’s you. Me and Grace decided that ages ago.”

  “Um — thanks?”

  “You’re welcome.” I can’t wait to tell Tristan this. “Okay, now you Truth or Dare me, quickly before I get nervous.” Alexandra closed her eyes in preparation.

  “Truth. How come you throw up?”

  Alexandra’s eyes flew open, annoyed. “I thought that you were going to ask me if I threw up.”

  “I already know you do,” Julian said, shrugging.

  “Why do you smoke weed?”

  “It’s not your turn.”

  “I’m trying to explain. Answer my question.”

  “I dunno, because I like to. It calms me down.”

  “That’s why I throw up.”

  “That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “It doesn’t have to.”

  Julian considered the logic of this. “I suppose it doesn’t.” He leaned back against the wall. “This is a strange night.”

  “Yeah,” Alexandra agreed, grabbing her pillow and clutching it to her. She rested her chin on it. “I’m glad you came, though.”

  “Me, too.”

  “You won’t tell anyone, will you?” Alexandra asked, realizing that this was a belated request.

  Julian grinned at her. He shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know —”

  “Julian!”

  “Okay, okay, I won’t! Besides,” he added seriously, “anyone who actually wanted to know probably already knows.”

  Alexandra decided to ignore this comment. She yawned. “We should do some homework.”

  Julian nodded. “Yeah.” They both sat up and started to work.

  Alexandra heard Justin wake Julian up and Julian say goodbye to her in the hazy space between sleep and consciousness. As she heard her door close, and the boys moving downstairs, she managed to climb under the covers. She slid into a deep, dreamless sleep a second after she managed this feat, but as she was trying to find the edge of the quilt, she wondered what Julian had thought she was going to ask him. What other question could he have thought I was going to ask if it wasn’t whether he was gay or straight?

  Chapter Six

  Julian Reese


  The Vaccines just released a new album! So stoked ... Is this how 13 year old girls feel about One Direction?

  “Don’t fall!”

  Julian ignored the shouts below him. He swung on top of the thin metal barrier that blocked him from the ground, and slowly straightened to standing.

  “Julian, you idiot …” a girl shouted.

  Julian kept his focus. Over to his left was the ledge he had to reach. He inched along the thin rail, not looking down. There. He reached over and grabbed the soccer ball, tucking it in his arm and going back, slowly, but more confidently. He jumped down and turned to a boy he knew slightly, but couldn’t remember his name. “You owe me five bucks.”

  They traded the ball for money, and Julian started to walk off to class. “Julian! Julian Reese!” Julian turned slowly toward his counsellor’s voice, a sheepish grin on his face. “Hi, Mr. Briggs.”

  Mr. Briggs was walking toward him, looking more frazzled than normal. “Julian. Glad I found you.”

  Julian frowned. Evidently Mr. Briggs hadn’t just seen his stunt. “What’s up, Mr. Briggs?”

  “Your father wants you.”

  Julian was confused. “My dad’s here? Like, in Vancouver?”

  “He’s in my office. Come on.” Julian followed Mr. Briggs to the counselling offices, his mind a blank on what his father could want. Will was supposed to be on the Island. He hadn’t told Julian that he was going to be in Vancouver.

  Will was sitting in the counsellor’s office, looking like he had slept in the clothes he had on. His hair was messy and slightly matted in the way that looked normal on Valdez but not so much in Vancouver. “Here he is, Will,” Mr. Briggs said. “Let me know if you need anything else.”

  Will nodded, ignoring him. Mr. Briggs looked at him, obviously curious about the parent he’d probably seen the least of out of all the students that he was in charge of, but he walked off, giving them their privacy. “Hey,” Julian said, questioningly.

  “Hey. Look, just wanted to let you know, I’m going up to Kamloops for a few weeks,” Will said.

  “Okay?”

  “So, I won’t be able to watch your show.”

  “That’s okay.” Julian shrugged. “I don’t dance much in it, anyway.”