Kerdik looked lost, tired, and oddly enough, weak. I’d never seen him be any of those things, so to find them all painting his features at once was a shock that temporarily stayed the scream in my throat. “Rosie, you have to listen to me.” His voice was dry, and sounded pained when he spoke. He swayed on the spot, grabbing onto the post of my bed with unsteady chartreuse fingers. “She’s never going to… I’m not…”
The scream I’d been saving to alert the others was repurposed when Kerdik collapsed in a heap of limbs on the ground. I ran to him, horrified that such a powerful being was so very mortal and pitiable in the faint lamplight of my bedroom. I didn’t think about our fight, or how he’d attacked me when we’d seen each other last. I thought only of the fear in his usually haughty eyes, and the pained bleat before he hit the wooden floor. His sky-blue hair was messy, which was something I knew he wouldn’t tolerate under normal conditions. I picked up his hand, abandoning my anger at him for the moment. “Kerdik, honey, what happened? What’s wrong?”
“Safe,” he murmured, his eyes rolling back. “Keep my body safe. Too much magic. She never lets up. Do you have the Darkness? Keep it safe. Keep the Darkness safe, Rosie.”
I ran to the door, unlatched it and flung it open, belting out a frantic message through the mansion. “Bastien, help me! I need you!” My hands were shaking when skipping a meal and overdoing it in the dungeon combined with my peaking nerves.
I returned to his side and scooped his upper half into my arms, worried that I couldn’t fix all the bad I didn’t know how to undo. I pressed his cheek to mine and realized it was cold. “What happened to you? Tell me how to help you. I don’t know what to do! I don’t know anything about magical diseases. Are you sick?”
“Magique Fatal.”
“I don’t know what that means!” I was scared, so I cried out for the one person who I knew would know what to do. “Lane!”
Bastien’s boots pounded the stairs, but the second he burst into the room, he hopped back out. “What’s he doing here?”
“He’s sick! He’s got Magique Fatal?” I didn’t understand what it was, but Bastien sure seemed to.
He gasped, and his gaze climbed from Kerdik’s barely breathing form up to mine. “Do you want me to help him?”
“Yes! I don’t know what it is. How do I fix it?”
“He needs magic. A transfusion, just like Reyn gets, and then lots of rest.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “What he could’ve possibly done to exhaust the deep magic he’s got is beyond me. Something big, Rosie.”
Lane came in with Draper on her heels. “What the… Oh! Get out of here!” she yelled, furious that Kerdik would dare show his face after what he’d done to me. I kind of loved her for that.
“He’s hurt, Lane!”
“Good! Let him remember what it feels like to be scared, to be mortal.”
I glared up at her. “You don’t mean that.”
Her shoulders slumped. “No, I don’t, but I want to mean it. The gems are tied to his life. If he dies, Avalon doesn’t stand a chance.”
I growled up at her, “You can do better than that! You can’t be like everyone else and just use him.”
Lane’s mouth was drawn in a tight line. “He attacked my daughter! He’s lucky I don’t take my window of opportunity and bash his freaking head in!”
“If you forgave Roland, then you can help Kerdik. This is my call, Lane. We’re better than revenge. Know who you are.”
Lane ran both hands through her hair, frustrated. “Shut the door, Draper. No one can see him like this. People need Master Kerdik to keep them afraid enough to fall in line. If he’s compromised, there’s no telling what chaos will go down.”
Draper locked the door, his gaze wary when it fell on me. “Go get some clothes on, kiddo. We’ve got it from here.”
I shook my head. “A magic transfusion? You just gave Reyn some of yours this morning, Drape. And Bastien, you’re helping people move into the province. It won’t do any good to drain you. And forget about using yours, Lane. You can’t use yours – any of you. You’re all needed, but I’m not. No one needs my magic right now. I only use it to talk to Remy and the animals. You have to use mine.”
Bastien, Draper and Lane shook their heads as if their chins were tied to the same string. “Not a chance,” Bastien ruled, his palm migrating to the small of my back – a thing he did to stake his claim when he was feeling territorial. “I’ll call Link up here. You can use his magic, or Mad’s.”
“They’re needed out there, but I’m not. And seriously? How many favors do you think you can ask of them?” I examined Kerdik’s jaw that fell slack against my arm. “Hurry! He needs help now!”
Draper moved over to Kerdik, and helped Bastien lift his body up onto my mattress. Lane crossed over to the wardrobe and yanked out underwear, a fitted white t-shirt and some teal cotton shorts out for me, sending me behind the partition.
I changed in lightning speed, coming out, readying for a fight. “Okay, guys. Teach me how to help him.”
Bastien shook his head. “No way. I’ll do it. I can take a day or two away from everything out there. Mad and Link can handle it.”
Lane pinched the bridge of her nose. “Rosie’s right. She doesn’t use most of her magic because she’s never been trained. It won’t affect her the same way it would you. Plus, you gave to Reyn yesterday. It would wipe you out for a couple days, at least, if you did this. It’s not a small transfusion, like what you do for Reyn, Bastien. Kerdik needs more than you’re used to giving.”
Bastien shrugged and rolled up his sleeve in preparation. “So what? So I’m out of commission for a day or two. Big deal.”
Lane’s voice rose in pitch, and she started gesticulating animatedly. “You’re responsible for her! You can’t protect my daughter if you’re too weak to get out of bed. Trust me, Bastien, this decision is in her best interest.”
I could tell Bastien wanted to argue, but I didn’t care. “Let’s do it. Now.” I glanced over to Kerdik, whose breaths were so shallow, I could scarcely tell they were there. “Hurry!”
Draper stood by my side as Lane ran out the door toward her room. She returned a couple minutes later with a small, clear medical tube sticking out of a black bag. “Remy’s out helping Madigan and Link, so we’ve got to be quick with his supplies. I don’t want this noise spread to anyone else.”
My heart was pounding, scared that I’d agreed to something I understood nothing about. “How does this work?”
Draper offered me a reassuring smile that was tight with tension. “You let us worry about that. Sit down on the bed and relax. You’ll just feel a little pinch, and that’s that.”
Something told me it was a little more complicated than Draper was making it sound.
Lane’s words were clipped. “Just like a blood transfusion. This needle pulls out magic as well as blood, so both will flow into Kerdik.”
“My magic will come back?”
Draper’s arm coiled around my shoulders. “Of course. Sometimes it only takes a couple hours. Might take a little more, since you’re a little under the weather still. Just makes you sleepy, and you won’t be able to access your magic for a few hours.”
“A day, at least. Maybe more,” Bastien grumbled. “Don’t lie to her. Master Kerdik’s teetering on the edge. Can an immortal even die? I mean, how serious is this? Can’t we just let him wait it out? Won’t he regenerate?”
“He’ll regenerate, but his power is tied to the gems, Bastien. If we want Avalon back on its feet, Master Kerdik has to be functional. Otherwise Rosie risked her neck for a handful of useless rocks. Magique Fatal can take someone out for weeks if they’re not tended to. We can’t risk that. We can’t go weeks without the blessing from the gemstones. We can’t have led these people into a barren wilderness, which is exactly what will happen to the land without the gems!”
Kerdik moaned, which made me more frantic to get this going. “Hurry! Just shove the needle in me already. Don
’t let him die, Lane!”
“I won’t, baby.” She hooked the rubber tube up to the needle and jabbed it hard into Kerdik’s forearm, not bothering to hide her disdain for him. She was far gentler with me, kissing my temple as the slight pinch bit my skin. Then she began muttering a string of nonsensical syllables, and I realized she was doing some sort of magical spell to make this more than a simple human blood transfusion. The magic needed that extra push from her to come out of me through the tube.
I watched the blood flow from my arm into the clear rubber tube with a sick fascination. It circled around and wound its way into Kerdik. His sharp inhale burst his lashes upward, revealing fear and wonder in his eyes that scared me. He mouthed something and reached out into the air before his arm collapsed on his belly.
I expected the red in the tube to be mixed with like, glitter or something, but it was just normal looking blood. The magic was incognito. Draper turned my head from the tube, so I didn’t pass out from the sight. He cradled my upper half in his arms, rocking me gently back and forth while Lane held my arm steady. I didn’t roll my eyes at the babying; Draper needed to find his role in our family, and this was what soothed him.
My breath came out in puffs across Draper’s neck, eventually growing shallower as the minutes passed. When an invisible hand felt like it was gripping my stomach, I let the foreign sensation take over, knowing I couldn’t resist saving Kerdik with any portion of my being. I let the hand wring my stomach out like a skeleton squeezing a sponge. I could feel magic, or something important, flowing out of me through the tube. I tried not to worry when a cold ice started creeping into my arm.
“Stop the drip!” Bastien ordered. “She’s starting to fade. It’s enough.”
Lane removed the needle, and Bastien took me from Draper’s arms. Instead of laying my limp body in the bed, he took me to a chair and plopped down, cradling me like the floppy noodle he loved. “I hate this. I hate this. I hate this,” he chanted over and over. “I don’t want her around Master Kerdik. I’m going to go lay her down with Reyn.”
Kerdik moaned in frustration when Bastien stood and walked my body toward the door. “I didn’t fail!” he managed to cry out. “Give her to me!”
Bastien turned with a snarl. “Not a chance. She’s been better to you than you deserve. The least you can do is leave her alone now.”
An animalistic roar burst from Kerdik, scaring me with what little nerves I had left. “Give her to me!” I wanted to cling to Bastien, but my hands were numb and useless.
Bastien cried out in anger and borderline fear, his forearms shaking. It was as if something was yanking on his arms, though Kerdik hadn’t moved off the bed. “No!” Bastien roared through gritted teeth, his fingers biting into me to stop whatever psychic tug Kerdik was using on him. “You can’t have her like this! You can barely take care of yourself! You could’ve killed her the last time you lost your temper.”
“Mine!” Kerdik thundered, going from weak, to sweaty and feeble, but somewhat stronger in his magic.
Bastien cried out in shock and panic when my body somehow lifted out of his arms and was yanked by an invisible force toward Kerdik. Draper and Lane dove for me, but it was too late. The second Kerdik touched my arm, the room vanished from my sight. I found myself sucked into a tornado of sensations, fearing the worst as my body gave up and my brain jumped ship. I passed out in Kerdik’s arms, and the last thing that filled my ears was the sound of my own screams.
I came to however long later in a meadow I’d never been to before. Stranger than that, for the first time in over a month, it wasn’t raining. The sun was shining down on thousands of fuzzy yellow daisies. The sunshiny flowers wore petals that looked like felt. I examined them as I lay in the meadow, the furry flowers bending over to tickle my nose and bless me with a breath of pure beauty. There were no houses or anything around in any direction as far as I could see, and barely any trees. It was too eerily quiet to be Heaven, so I was pretty sure I wasn’t dead. I tried to sit up, but my head swirled, knocking me back down again. The grass and yellow flowers cradled me, keeping me snuggled in their softness for as long as I would have them. “Where am I?” I moaned, feeling like my head had been kicked.
Kerdik’s voice was equally worn when he answered. “My place. It was too noisy at your house. Had to get out.”
My chest jumped in time with his, unsteady and frail. “You stole me?”
Kerdik nodded from his supine position next to me. “Bastien was going to take you away from me. I needed… I needed…”
“You need your head checked. Bastien’s going to kill you dead, immortal or not.”
Kerdik chuckled, as if I’d told a cute joke. “I had to show you something.”
I carefully turned my aching neck so I could look at my captor. He didn’t have the same “I’m about to die” look about him, but he definitely looked sick. His forehead was coated in a thin sheen of sweat, his lips parted and his eyes going in and out of focus as he turned his head to gaze at me. I frowned in concern, putting aside my anger for the moment. “What happened to you?”
“Morgan’s spell. I tried to break it, and she put… I didn’t… I wasn’t expecting the…” He waved his hand to let me know he wasn’t with it enough for speech yet. “Sleep. I need to sleep. My magic needs to recharge.”
I nodded. “Take me home, and you can crash in one of the beds in Lane’s castle.”
“No. Bastien will take you from me. Here. Just a few hours of sleep together.”
I wanted to protest more, but I was barely awake myself. My eyelids drooped as I snuggled into the soft, pillowy grass in the meadow. The sun behind us shone over our bodies, warming us pleasantly. I was so tired that I didn’t even protest when Kerdik’s fingers threaded through mine, clasping my sweaty hand to his. I knew I should run, but my legs were too weak to commit to the effort. “Just a few hours, then I’m mad at you.”
“Don’t leave. I don’t want to be alone when I fall asleep.” He sounded afraid of rest, foreign as it was to him. He gazed into my eyes with such regret that I couldn’t doubt his sincerity. “I’m sorry, Rosie. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“You should be,” I murmured, my mouth falling slack as exhaustion and blood loss took me under, my head falling to the side so my temple rested to his.
Groveling in the Meadow
I have no idea how long we slept for, only that we both seemed to need the release. I awoke in the same meadow, but was rolled onto my side instead of laid out flat on my back, as I had been when I’d closed my eyes. Kerdik was spooning me, his body coiled around mine. His arm was stretched out beneath my head, and his fingers were studying mine with slight sweeping touches. Our contrasting skin was curled up over my chest, so I was tight in his embrace.
His lips pressed to my hair. “Are you awake yet, little dove?”
I yawned and stretched, too comfortable to delve straight into pissed just yet. “Yeah. You sleep alright?”
“What would make sleep not alright? I only know one way.”
“Oh, like if you have bad dreams or something.”
“I don’t dream. Or if I do, I don’t remember them. I only sleep every few decades, if I use magic that costs me too much effort. I was long overdue, and I’m afraid I stretched myself past the breaking point. I didn’t know where else to turn. Not many can be trusted to care for me when I can’t protect myself.”
I stretched against him like a cat, arching my spine and throwing my head back over his shoulder. Then I curled into a ball, his body wrapping around mine like we were two kittens from the same litter. “That was a risky chance you took. How’d you know I wouldn’t hurt you the way you hurt me while you were snoozing?”
Kerdik buried his face in the nape of my neck. “Because you’re beautiful.”
My mouth popped open in disgust. “Screw you! So you’re saying that if I was still the ugly girl, you wouldn’t have bothered coming back to me? Being beautiful has nothing to do with what kind of a pe
rson a girl is.” My fists tightened. “You’re just like everyone else, judging me by what I look like. You were supposed to be different!”
Kerdik groaned at his poor choice of words. “That’s not what I meant. You wouldn’t understand. I meant that I can see your heart. You’re lovely on the inside and out, so I knew I could trust you.” He dragged in an unsteady breath, and let it fan over my skin, giving me goosebumps. “You’re the only pure soul I know. You’re their princess, but you’re my queen.”
Though I got the eerie sense he was saying more than his words were communicating, I wasn’t willing to let him off the hook for his superficial assumptions that being beautiful meant that you were automatically worth someone’s time. I squinched my eyes shut at the memory of Morgan gripping my face, digging in her nails as she ordered me to “be beautiful.” “You mean I’m a pushover. I’m a giant sucker. You knew you could take advantage.”
“You’ve lost weight,” he observed, thumbing my ribs in dismay. “I don’t like there being less of you.”
I swallowed hard, wishing I hadn’t been so very wrecked by my mother. I kept my lips shut tight in lieu of a response, lest I open them and buckets of tears come flinging out of me.
I felt Kerdik’s lashes flutter against my neck. “I’ll never be able to explain how sorry I am for what I did. I lost my temper, and when that happens, the elements sometimes bend to my state. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I couldn’t turn it off.” He wrapped his arm around my torso. “I thought you were like Morgan. She trapped me once and tried to pry information from me about whether I’d been born or if I was always like this. I knew the spell she wanted the information for. I knew what she intended to do.”
“Jeez, what?”
“If I was born, I can die. If I always was, then I couldn’t cease to be. She wanted to know if she could kill me. I admit, I thought she was working through you to get that information.”
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