Kerdik covered my hand on his face with his, savoring the contact he’d been starved from for so long. “Always be you. Don’t let me turn you into something less beautiful.”
“Beautiful doesn’t matter,” I ruled, feeling like I was qualified to speak on the subject, since I’d grown up as the ugly girl.
“Very well, then don’t let me turn you into something less you. I adore you.”
My mouth curved at his lovely compliment. “Stop saying all the right things. Apparently if I get turned on, I light things on fire. Tread lightly.”
Kerdik chuckled softly. “Thank you for making a joke.”
My voice quieted. “Is this going to happen when I kiss Bastien next? Or is it just with you?”
“Just with me, and we won’t be doing that again, so you don’t need to worry. I am sorry, darling. I lost my mind for a moment. Your nightgown,” he clarified with a guilty downward tilt to his head. “You shouldn’t wear that around me. Burn it, or I might slip up again, and you’ll light it on fire with your breath. Either way, it… I shouldn’t see you like that. It does things to me that neither of us can handle.”
I was stunned for a few beats, confused and embarrassed. Finally I leaned over and wrapped my arms around his neck, squeezing tight so he didn’t crawl into his shell of self-loathing. “Never happened.” I kissed his cheek before pulling away, reminding us both that we were solid, even when life shook us up. “I think I’m going to get dressed. I’ll meet you downstairs.”
Before we parted, Kerdik stood with a steady inhale, his chest puffing out, reminding me that he was tall, strong and leonine. He took a chance and brushed his lips to mine, pecking them for a quick taste. I tensed a little, but to be fair, I’d just turned full-on dragon when we slipped up not five minutes ago. Kerdik’s shoulders relaxed that we hadn’t forfeited our familiar rhythm. “For the record, that’s what I meant to do.”
“Me, too. I’ll get dressed and go meet with the healers.”
His hand alighted on my shoulder, fingering the spaghetti strap of my nightgown with something that looked akin to longing clouding his eyes. Goosebumps erupted, burning a line where his fingers brushed my skin. His next words came out barely above a whisper. “It’s the nightgown,” he ruled, as if trying to convince himself of the spell the simple material cast over both of us. He cleared his throat, straightening as he removed his hand from me and ran his palm down the front of his charcoal vest, his chin raised. “See if you can’t figure out which of the healers are most loyal to Lane. I could use some help with Urien. Remy’s hit a wall. Adding a spare healer to the household would be most prudent.”
“Sounds good,” I croaked.
Kerdik shot me a few more hesitant glances before he left, leaving me alone in the room with my shock and pink cheeks.
Roland’s True Colors
I heaved my relief when Kerdik left, and made quick work of getting dressed. I wanted to flee the scene of the crime, so I didn’t even bother trying to tie up the laces in the back of my dress before I bolted out of the room and ran smack into Bastien. “Oh! Hey, I didn’t see you there.”
“I was just coming back up to see if you’d opened the door yet. I really didn’t mean to call you stupid. It was a dumb thing to say. I thought you were playing around. Lane explained it all to us.”
I banded my arms across my stomach, avoiding his penetrating gaze. “Can we not talk about it? I mean, I appreciate the apology, and we’re cool. I just did the rehash with Kerdik, and I don’t want to have to go over it all again.”
Bastien held up his hands. “Fine by me. I’ve got questions, but they can wait until later. I’m out helping the men build a wall around the city. It’ll take some doing, but we all need a project to unite the province, so this seemed like a good fit.”
“Cool. I’m about to go kick it with the healers. See if someone can give my dad a fresh look.” I made to give him a quick peck on the cheek, but he caught my lips instead, sealing our connection with a kiss that was as wonderful as it was comfortable. Plus, I didn’t light his eyebrows on fire with a heated belch, so, you know, bonus. “You’re the only one I want to be kissing,” I whispered, reminding us both.
“Good. Remember that when the healers start throwing you a parade and declare you their queen.” He kissed me once more before we parted. “See you for lunch?”
“It’s a date.”
Bastien paused and gripped my bicep, his brow furrowed. “Don’t leave the mansion, alright? I’ve got a bad feeling about today. Something weird. I can’t put my finger on it.”
“Okay. I can stay inside.” I gulped, hoping Bastien didn’t catch wind of the non-kiss that had just happened.
I scurried down the hallway and stumbled down the steps ungracefully, still not totally used to wearing long dresses. This one was a dull green, simpler than the ornate ones Morgan had made me wear, and featured pink stitching to match the lace that poked out from underneath my elbow-length sleeves. I meandered through the empty kitchen, picking an apple from the fruit bowl and taking a crunchy bite.
“So, you decide to grace us with your presence.”
The unwelcome voice wafted into the kitchen from behind me. My spine straightened, and I turned around only after I’d composed the worry from my face. “Go away, Roland. Bastien was pretty clear you’re not to be alone with me. You don’t live in the mansion. Your place is the house next door.”
Roland held up his hands in surrender. “I’m not starting anything troublesome. I’m only making sure the princess has what she needs to start her day. Did you want some milk?”
Not if I was dying of dehydration would I take something you offered me. “No, thank you. I don’t want anything you have to give me.”
His mouth tightened. “Is that any way to speak to your cousin?”
“Oh, now we’re family? I thought I was a witch who was only after the gems.”
He pointed to my finger. “Well, you do wear that one quite often.”
My fist tightened to make sure my ring stayed in place. “Did you want to wear it? It’s a little girly to belong on your hand.”
He sighed and leaned against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest. He wore beige pants and an emerald dress shirt with gold edges, in keeping with the royal colors of Lane’s kingdom. He’d united what was left of his province with hers, and hadn’t caused any problems since he’d moved in. “I’m trying to make amends, Rosie. I was wrong about you. I never got to say thank you for bringing back the gems you found in Morgan’s castle. You handed them over like it was nothing. I guess I’m so used to Morgan and Avril that I didn’t expect you to be any different.”
Glad as I was that he could finally spot the obvious, I wasn’t willing to be buddy-buddy with him. I nodded once, casting him a wary glance that told him I had no idea what to do with him showing humility. I studied his face, and the sideways tilt to his head that seemed to communicate sincerity. Lane’s words of “know who you are” echoed in my head. I wasn’t a vindictive brat, though I wanted to be one in that moment. I chewed on my bottom lip and tried to find grace in my heart for the man who’d tried to kill me. “Okay, Roland. Thank you.”
I went to leave, but Roland stood in front of me, blocking my way. It didn’t seem like he wanted a physical fight, but you never knew with this guy. “I’ve been watching you with Bastien.” His face screwed up, his chin dimple deepening when I balked at him. “That came out wrong. I’m trying to tell you I see him changing. Some of it long overdue. Some might say it’s a man in love, but I’ve seen the work of a witch before. If you weren’t a woman, I could swear you were Gancanagh. I’m onto you,” he warned.
I let out a labored sigh. Of course we’re back to this. “Well spotted. The only way I can get a boyfriend is to cast some witchy spell on him.” I wiggled my fingers around menacingly.
“He used to keep to the outskirts, hiding himself in the woods to avoid people. Now he’s leading armies with me. I know it’s because of yo
u. Morgan’s daughter, indeed. Be careful,” he warned, snatching at my face. Apparently his lame stating of the obvious in lieu of an apology had run its course. He squeezed my jaw hard, making my pulse quicken. “Bastien is my best friend, and you’ve already turned him against me. I’ll not tolerate your hooks sinking into him any deeper than they already are.”
I yanked my head away from Roland, wound up and socked him hard across the face. I wasn’t above forgiving my cousin, but I wouldn’t tolerate anyone’s hands on me like that. “You want to control me? You want to threaten me? Do it with your jaw wired shut next time, you tool!”
He held the side of his face, shocked that I wasn’t afraid to fight back. I didn’t have to play nice with Bastien’s friend anymore. I spun on my heel and stomped away, furious that he would put his hands on me under my own roof. I made it a whole four steps before Roland flew at me from behind and slammed me against the wall with his lean musculature. His words came out like a knife, cutting through the fake niceness he’d tried to convince me was real. “Look, you. This kingdom will be mine once you and Lane leave it to go back to your life in Common. I fought for it. I kept my province afloat while Lane was gone after my mother died. I’m the one the people trust to stand up to Morgan. I hunted down Avril when we realized she was the one who’d stolen the jewels, and I tore them from her greedy hands.”
I stomped down hard on his instep, but I was barefoot, and he was in boots, so it did little. I flung my elbow back into his gut, but despite his satisfying “oof!” he didn’t release me. “What’s your point, you jackwagon?”
He crushed his body to mine so I had no room at all to fight back. He pinned my arms above my head, securing them to the wall so high that my feet raised to stand on my tiptoes. His breath was hot in my ear, lighting my body with a fresh dose of fear. “My point is that I want you gone. The people are starting to get confused. They’re saying Lane led them into battle, but it was me. Lane came out, sure, but I was directing Bastien and the rest of the Untouchables. Now they’re singing your praises because you kept the children safe and got Kerdik to fight for them.”
I hadn’t been out of the castle since the battle, so I couldn’t exactly speak to this. “I didn’t ask them to do that! I wanted to be out there fighting with Bastien, but Kerdik locked me in the keep. Let me go!”
My voice picked up, so Roland cuffed my mouth. “I cared for this province when Lane abandoned it to look after you. And now Bastien’s going to abandon his homeland to follow you to another world. Whatever. It’s his choice. But once you’re there, stay gone.”
I shouted into his hand, hating him for making me feel helpless.
“When Urien wakes, I want your word that you’ll ask him to stay here. They need him to rally around. If you take him to Common, the people will lose faith. They’ll think he’s abandoned us to Morgan’s wrath.”
I bit down hard on his finger, drawing blood. He ripped his hand away from my face, cursing at me before punching me hard in the kidney from behind. I saw stars when he grabbed my head and bashed it to the wall before I could reclaim my bearings. He moved back so I could stumble around, bracing myself on the wall. “Stop it! Dad will decide what he wants to do when he wakes up.” I spun around and tried to take a swing at my cousin, but missed horribly when my vision blurred.
Roland slammed me down on the counter, spilling fruit from the overturned bowl out onto the floor. My chest was cold against the marble, but fire burned up in me like none other when Roland bent over me from behind, crushing my body to the hard surface so he could whisper in my ear, “King Urien will wake up once you decide to cooperate.”
“What?”
“Give me your word that you’ll leave for the Common with Lane and without Urien, and he’ll wake up.”
“What are you talking about?” I kicked wildly until Roland drew a dagger from his belt and used it to still my body so I didn’t hurt him further. The flat end of the steel was smooth as it traveled down my side, freezing me in place so I didn’t get gutted when I thrashed. “Roland, stop!”
“I need your word, Rosie. Give me what I want, and I’ll let you go.”
“Screw you!”
“Oh, Princess. That was not smart.” He shoved an orange in my mouth so deep I almost choked. I bit down, so I could tear off a chunk and spit the rest out, but Roland held the fruit in place like a gag I couldn’t escape. “People think Bastien’s the one to be feared because he’s Untouchable. But see, he has you now. He has the thing he wants. I don’t. I want Province 9, and until I get it, I’m the one to be feared.” The tip of the dagger quickly tore through the material of my dress, sinking itself into the back of my thigh. I gasped at the slice that felt like a gaping hole being torn through my leg. He left the blade sunk into my skin, so that every jolt I tried to move away from him caused me infinitely more agony. I screamed into the orange, but it was no use. “You don’t like it here,” Roland said, almost sympathetically. “Think of how miserable I’ll make your life if you stay. Do you want a matching scar on the other thigh? You know, for all the talk about the Untouchables being this almighty force, they sure do leave you alone an awful lot.”
He removed the knife, holding the orange in place while I panted like an animal. “I have followers, you know. Men who would do unspeakable things in my name. They’d even attack the princess if I wished it so.” He gave a few thrusts with his pelvis into my backside, scaring me more than the knife had. “I personally don’t see what all the fuss is about, but I don’t need to.” He leaned down just to crush the air and the will to live out of me. “Tell me what I want to hear. Nod for me like a good little girl.”
Rage like none other roiled up inside of me. I thrashed, kicked and struggled, unwilling to go down without a fight – futile as my best efforts were.
Roland tsked me, as if this was all a game, and I was five years old. I could feel the blood running down my right leg as he ripped the steel from the back of my thigh and switched the blade to his left hand, still pinning me with his body. “Bastien’s precious virgin princess. We’ll see how long his infatuation lasts after my men have a go. See how difficult you are after they’ve torn your spirits from you.” The fear spiked in time with the dagger that plunged into the outside of my left thigh, slicing through my dress and tearing a line down my flesh. “One way or another, you will be gone. Leave Uncle Urien to rule his new kingdom with me. It’s all I ask of you.” Then he sunk the blade down deep into an untorn section on the top of my thigh. He tugged me off the counter and lowered me down to the floor while I panted, focused only on removing the knife from my leg. Roland gave me the softest smile as he twisted the knife to dial up the pain to a level I was certain would make me insane. “Think it over.”
And just like that, my cousin left me there to bleed all over the kitchen floor.
On My Honor
I bit down on the orange with a trembling jaw, afraid I might faint and bleed out on the floor before I could call for help. I finally spat out the fruit and screamed with all my might for someone to help me. Of course no one was nearby. The house was a freakin’ mansion. That was one point in favor of small apartments. If I sneezed twice from the opposite end of our place, Lane would already be getting out the cold medicine.
One piece of clarity finally hit me in my haze of torture. My hands were shaking too badly to remove the knife, but I managed to get my right hand to my chest, covering my heart with my ring and whispering three times the name I prayed would come when I called this time.
Errant thoughts swam through my agony-addled brain while I tried to get the knife out of my thigh. I wondered what Judah was up to, and if he’d acquired any scars while we’d been apart. I grasped the handle of the knife, but each time it slid out a fraction of an inch, I nearly passed out from the torture. I was losing blood too quickly for my heart to keep up. My grip weakened and my hand fell back onto the stone floor.
Kerdik took the long route and walked to me from where he’d been d
iscussing treatment with Remy in Urien’s room. “Well, you finally decided to… Rosie!”
The walls of the mansion started to shake with his sudden rage. He ran to me, checking my eyes to see if I was alive and alert enough to answer whatever questions he was shouting in my face.
The knife, I wanted to say. There’s a knife in my thigh. Get it out!
Kerdik’s hand trembled when he finally was able to focus enough to locate the source of the problem. He called for help, afraid, as I was, to remove it and cause even more damage. He kissed my forehead, and I could feel the fear in his tremulous kiss. “I’ll get you a healer. I can’t… I just used too much magic on Urien!” His words came out in a panicked rush, unaccustomed to his magic failing him. “I’m not sure I could control myself enough to heal you without harming you. Wait here, darling. I’ll be back in a blink.”
I tried to think clearly enough not to freak out when he ran out of the kitchen, but if Roland came back, I was completely defenseless. I fought with my panic as my eyes started to close, the blood loss too much for my weary heart to keep up with.
I was completely alone when my mind left my body. Though Kerdik and consciousness left me, my panic never did.
I awoke to blinding pain lighting my leg on fire. Kerdik was holding me down while some dude I’d never met slowly removed the dagger from my thigh.
“I know it hurts, Princess. I assure you, this is the way that will cause the least amount of permanent damage.” Then he clicked his fingers and motioned to my torso. “Hold her still already!”
Stupid Girl Page 20