by Alexis Angel
Before he can answer, I reply for him, “But if you had been then you wouldn’t have had time to buy an iPad.” God, why did I even say that? Like, he’s rich. He’s got a driver. He’s probably got an assistant. Clearly he didn’t have any actual time for me and that’s why Eric has just now shown up.
Eric won't even look at me.
I’m so frustrated that I want to break something. I feel a rant coming on and my words start spewing out before I even know what I’m going to say. “I don’t get you. You wanted to act like the hero and that’s all it was about. Don’t pretend that what you did just then , Eric, was to save me. It wasn’t!”
He’s quiet but seems to be searching for something to say. No doubt another word. Something that doesn’t even describe exactly what’s going on at the moment.
“Elia, you do need saving from Ryan. He’s not just trying to assault you, he’s paying you less than everyone else.”
“What? How do you know that?”
“Ryan provided the financial reports weeks ago. They show clearly that you’re being paid the least…and now I’m certain that there isn’t any appropriate reason why.” Eric grits his teeth.
“Today is just too much…I can’t be here with you right now!” I know, I know, I’m being dramatic, but I don’t want to process this shitty news next to the only person I’ve been able to think about for days.
I need to get out of here. I open the car door and unfasten my belt.
“Where are you going?” Eric blurts out, maybe because no one’s ever walked out on him before. He probably does this sort of crap all the time.
“Far away from you as possible!”
“Why? But you don’t have your keys, and you can’t get home…” Eric rushes to explain.
I may have been a virgin before that night, but I’m not a child. “That’s not your concern. It’s mine.” I’m just about to shut the door, but realize I have one last thing to say. I bend down to do it as I’m outside of the car and can think properly even if it’s only for a few seconds.
“The best you can say to me for ignoring me for days and then turning up with a gift was sorry, and you offer zero explanation. I don’t even know that you are sorry, and you probably think I should just put up with it. Good night, Eric. Have a nice night. And you can return the iPad. I don’t need it,” I say, dropping it in the seat. “And I don’t want it.”
I slam the car door and get as far away from him as possible. Ryan, my boss, is a total skeevy asshole. I’m glad I’m not there anymore.
But Eric? Well no matter how charming he seemed, he’s just the jerk who blew me off and thought that I should put up with it.
Eric
I decide that there’s nothing better than a good night’s sleep for both of us to calm down. The next day, I decide to head straight to the bookstore. I’ve got to see her and make sure that Elia’s okay. I’m not even sure if she went back to her apartment, I waited a while and she never turned up. I kept myself from going out chasing after her when I knew she needed space, and only because her friend Dana’s address on her paystubs was near the diner Elia bolted from
Fuck!
It’s as if I’m just a stalker as I stand outside the bookstore, this time I’m really ready to make a proper apology. One that’s sincere from the heart. Because just the words...Elia’s right, they weren’t enough.
“Hey,” I say quietly as I open the door, and she’s standing by a bookshelf.
“Eric…”
I don’t give her an opportunity to say anything as I’m a man on a mission with the desire to win her heart; not by fancy gifts, but sincerely telling her that I’m sorry.
“I didn’t want to leave you alone. I know that I should, and you told me to stay away.”
I close the door and approach her. She’s got her hair up in a ponytail, and it’s clear by the paleness of her skin and the bags under her eyes that she didn’t get much sleep last night.
“I’m sorry, maybe I acted a bit rashly, but I couldn’t just stand by and let Ryan attack you. Because, believe me. That’s exactly what he intended to do.”
I’m rambling on, something that I never do. Even when I’m nervous. Usually, I shut up tight until I can get everything right in my head.
“Anyway, you’re right about the expensive gifts and then turning up like that. It wasn’t right. What I should’ve done was at least send you a text or something. But I’m not that type of guy. Not the one who even wants to see a girl again after we’ve had sex. I bought you the gift because I didn’t know how else to make it up to you. Because I was thinking about you. Because I do want to know you, Elia.”
I sigh as I think that I’ve officially run out of words. I apologized. Explained the reason for my actions. She can leave it or take it, but everything I said is true. I feel like I’m standing here naked. While normally that wouldn’t be a bad thing, now I just feel vulnerable and bared to her. I’m worried it isn’t enough.
This is something that I’ve never faced before.
I’m worried that I’m not enough.
Her brow furrows as Elia purses her lips. “I’m sorry for blowing up at you before, you did save me from Ryan. Also, he’s been acting like that for a while and I just kinda didn’t realize how creepy he was until he got bold enough to really act on it. No job’s worth being treated like that by your boss. The fact is that I hardly get paid, and I don’t know if I’ve just been wasting my time here when this is my dream job...it is starting to feel like more of a nightmare. It’s not as if this is the only bookstore in town, but without a new owner there may not be any place for me here. Not a place that I want.” She shrugs, and there’s a warm smile on her face as her eyes light up.
I love that even though Elia’s going through tough times, she’s stronger than anything that comes at her. She’s resilient and she doesn’t take shit. Certainly not mine. “You don’t have to apologize for that.” I don’t want her to feel like her outburst at me was uncalled for. She’s the first woman I’ve actually wanted to date, and I fucked it up terribly. My behavior was total bullshit, and Elia should have called me on it.
“But I do,” she says insistently. “That wasn’t any way to thank you for what you did. My mind froze when he touched me. It was almost as if I’d been dreading the moment for so long and I didn’t even realize it. I used to brush it off when I felt something strange about Ryan and think that I was paranoid, and Ryan wasn’t often around much so I didn’t think it would matter. But yesterday my eyes were opened to it all, and it made me feel so damn stupid.”
“He’s misled you and mistreated you for a while. Ryan has been using the possible sale of this store to try and manipulate you. It isn’t surprising, given the number of lies he’s told, that you couldn’t see the truth about who he really was. And none of your coworkers likely knew the full extent of Ryan’s actions, either." I look into Elia’s beautiful eyes and I take her in my arms without a second thought. She’s kind, she’s good, she’s strong…I just want to protect her. Hold her. Have her.
Elia freezes for a second before relaxing as her body melts against me. Then she pushes gently against my chest even though I can hear her breathing going out of control. Something tells me that she’s not ready for that yet. One apology. One iPad is not going to make up for how she must have been feeling for days when I never called or texted her.
“I need to get out of here!” She says, releasing a deep breath she was holding.
“Why? Is he here? Did he try something again?” I’m on alert instantly, not wanting her anywhere near that prick.
Elia shakes her head. “No, he hasn’t been back in since.”
“And your purse?” I should have got it for her, but I was literally so wrapped up in my own self-pity instead of actually helping Elia. Fuck, I am terrible at caring for another person. At least with my daughter it seems to be simpler...Rose loves me, and I’m her daddy.
To Elia, I’m just the punch-happy prick that tells her to go o
n dates, has sex with her, and ignores her.
I remember Ryan holding her purse against the window as if he was threatening her to come back in or enticing her, whatever would get him what he wanted. I reach for Elia’s hand, curling mine protectively around hers. “If you’d like, we can go and report this to the police.”
“No! You punching him was more than enough to get him to back off. Besides, I don’t know why I sent you two messages. Two phone calls after that night and you never returned them. No message. Nothing.”
I look down because I don’t have a real answer, and quickly change the subject. “Why don’t we go to The Macaroons, that French bakery you love?”
“Eric, I don’t remember telling you my favorite café. How do you know that?”
Fuck! So in watching the store to see possible peak hours of customer traffic, I have definitely indulged in watching Elia. Yes, I ignored and stalked her.
Not good at this relationship thing.
Pretty sure I’ve done nothing about this relationship thing right.
She jerks her hand out of mine, and her eyes widen as she shakes, exactly the same way that she did when Ryan made a move on her yesterday. “I thought that Ryan was the only creep in my life. Now, I’m starting to think that you’re just as bad as him. The only reason that you would mention The Macaroons is if you’re watching me. That’s it, Eric. You’re a liar and I don’t believe anything that you say. I know that you’re planning to buy this place, but I hope I won’t be a part of that equation.”
She turns her back to me. I know that I have nothing else to do but leave. Fuck! Even a simple apology seems too much as far as she’s concerned. Maybe buying this place is a fucking bad idea! Maybe getting more involved with Elia is an even worse one! I need to go back to the office. At least there I can work and stop thinking with my fucking cock for a change.
Elia
I leave my house with a bag thrown over my shoulder. The phone Eric gave me is inside and even though I’ve been using the iPhone, I dig out my old phone and decide that I’ll just stick to the one thing that I’ve been using all this time. It does still have all my old numbers in it, and maybe I’ll get the courage to drop off the iPhone on my way back. Eric still has the iPad. Thank goodness he didn’t bring it with him back to the bookstore.
I head down to my car and send a quick message to Dad that I’m going to be staying in the cabin for a couple of days. If I call him, he’ll only worry, so it’s best just to send a text.
My car’s a trash heap, but it was my first car so I keep it even though it rarely runs. That’s why I take the bus to work, or a taxi when I’m in a pinch.
My parents' saved to buy this old car for me once I got my permit after high school. My old Chevy may be bashed up a bit and makes a lot of noise, but with the price of a train or a bus in comparison to hopping in the car, it makes more sense to just take the car to get out of town.
There’s somewhere I need to be right now, and it’s as far away from here as possible. The engine sputters for a few moments, and I’m relieved when it roars to life.
I drive out of town near Cider Creek Park, a place that I haven’t been to in years. I didn’t even tell Ryan that I was leaving, just Dana who promised to cover my shifts. She said that I don’t even have to make it up to her after I told her about Ryan putting his creepy hands all over me.
My parents' own a cabin back there. Dad goes there once in a while, especially now that he’s retired, but I’m sure it’s to get away from Mom. I don’t think retirement is working in their favor. They seem to fight a lot more now.
I stop at a gas station and then I’m on my way. It feels good to be on the open road. I ignore the dusty smell from inside the car as I open the window and let in the fresh air from the outside. I laugh to myself as I sit back and see the vacationers and travelers, all of them going their own way. I don’t have to think about Ryan’s creepy behavior and fucking me over by paying me less, and most of all, I put all thoughts of Eric to the back of my mind.
The cabin’s small, and it doesn’t take long for me to get there. Once I do, I run around like a little kid to see the same one bedroom, open space basic kitchen and living room. As a kid, it used to be heaven because I would spend as much time outside as possible, and I hardly noticed that the inside was so small. I’ve got a few snacks that’ll keep me going through the night as well as my favorite book, Sense & Sensibility by Jane Austen. It’s a bit tattered in spite of all the care I’ve given it over the years.
I’ve moved so much that I’ve forgotten it at times. But it feels like a little slice of heaven as I think about my night. I’ll go to town and get a bottle of wine. A couple of days in peace and tranquility is just what I need right now.
I send a quick text to Dana from my iPhone to let her know where I am and then I turn my phone off. I have two days to myself, and I intend to spend every minute of it in peace. No phone calls from any of the creeps in my life, both Eric and Ryan.
It’s amazing how time flies when you’re enjoying yourself instead of worrying. I can’t believe that I’m already near my apartment, I’m a couple of blocks away. If I could afford it I would have stayed a little longer, but my bills are something that I can’t run from. As soon as I get in, I’ll text Dana again so that she knows I’m alive, and then I’ll hit the sack.
That’s when I freeze at the sight of Eric standing outside my apartment waiting for me.
Holy crap!
As soon as I park, I don’t hesitate in telling him exactly what’s on my mind.
“What are you doing here?”
He smiles. “I came to see you. I know things haven’t been going smoothly for us lately, but there’s something that I really need to say.”
I nod, and I notice there’s something behind his back. His arms are hidden, whereas when I saw him standing on the steps outside my block, I was sure that he had a box in his hand.
“I know that you love to read and that this is your favorite book. I just came here to give it to you and let you know that it wasn’t you I was stalking. I’m spending a lot of money on that bookstore. I need to make sure that everything about it is in order. Ryan was slimy and I needed to know what the real story was. So, I hired a PI. He had information about you, too. I never asked him to do it. I would like to start again.”
I want to interrupt him, but not only is he looking sexy as hell in his suit, every smooth line fitting him so perfectly, but he looks sad as if everything he’s saying could be from the heart. I think that maybe I was too hasty to jump to conclusions, not ready to trust someone. Sure, he screwed up, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t forgive him. Because I want to. But how does he know my favorite book? Is he just stalking me when he acts like he’s protecting me from creepy Ryan?
I don’t know who or what to trust right now. So I don’t say anything.
Eric takes a deep breath as he hands me the box and walks away. I take the box and automatically start to open it.
I smile as I realize that he’s given me a copy of Sense and Sensibility. And not just any edition of Jane Austen, but one of the pirated copies that were sold in France in the 19th century. Holy crap! How did he manage that?
I don’t even have a chance to ask Eric as I hear his car drive away behind me.
It’s the same novel that I was reading on my trip. I want to know how he knew, was he following me yet again?
I pick up the box and head to the car. I take out my phone to send Dana a message to tell her that I’ve arrived when I see a message from her.
Dana: Eric was in here while you were away asking about your favorite book. I hope you don’t mind.
I sigh as I realize that Dana must have told Eric. Maybe I was too harsh with him earlier. Everyone deserves a second chance, especially the man that I just happened to give my virginity, and he wants to make it up to me. And for now, I can’t think of any reason to not give him a second chance.
Eric
Elia’s here. She m
ust have driven here after I left her apartment. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have gotten here so fast.
I know her car barely runs and I want to just buy her a new one...but, hey, I have learned how the expensive gifts are going to go over. The book doesn’t count. I took that from my private collection of rare French pirated manuscripts. I have a lot of money and that comes with weird hobbies.
I don’t hesitate in telling the doorman to let her in, and now I don’t know how to play it. I don’t want to be my normal cocky self and drive her away. But I have this abiding urge for Elia to accept me. And I am that cocky asshole, aren’t I?
“Elia, you didn’t have to come all the way down here.”
Her eyes are wide open as she looks at my bare chest. I didn’t take my shirt off for her benefit. It just worked out that way. As soon as I came in, I thought I’d hit the gym to get rid of the testosterone that’s flowing through my body. And it happens every time she’s around.
“Did you like the book?” I ask. That manuscript was one of the cooler parts of my collection, and it cost more than I think Elia has made in her entire life. I am glad that she seems to not be sweating that price tag right now and can enjoy that I really wanted to do something special for her.
“Are you kidding me? I love it.”
I smile and the air around us seems a little lighter. I try to think of something to break the rest of the ice.
“More than the phone?” I tease, and it brings a smile to her face.
“A lot more than the phone,” she admits. Then she bites her lip and asks, “Can I come in?”
Shoot, I didn’t even think about that. We’re both standing at the door of my penthouse, and I haven’t officially invited her in.
“Of course, Elia.”
I need a fucking drink, which isn’t a problem seeing as I’m not going to be exercising right now. Being around her is making me restless, and I just want to touch her, kiss her, but I can’t come on too strong and push her away just when she’s come back to me.